He tries to make me very scared....

Hi cream97! I do believe that you should find the strength within you my friend. If there is so much fear in your heart, I don't think that you will ever be happy within the marriage. Do you know anyone who can help you? Find someone who can help you get through this and advice you legally. Find help within your family and friends. Don't be scared. I think he is more scared that is why he is trying to scare and threaten you. Get out of that relationship. You don't have to care what your in laws will say of you or if they will hate you. What matter is that you will be able to stand up for yourself and your children. It is very hard but believe in yourself my friend. There is another life outside of that marriage and I am very sure that it is a happier and better life for you and the children. I will be praying for you dear friend. Be strong! Take care and God bless!

There are shelters for women just like you. You can leave him and take the kids and stay there and he won't know where you are. They protect you and help you through divorcing him and get orders of protection. Look in the phone book or call your local church. They'll have the number. Do it as soon as possible.

Your husband is doing a very good job of keeping you exactly where he wants you; afraid of making a move. If you want to create a fulfilling life for yourself and your children, the first thing you have to do is stop being afraid. If he is physically abusing you or if you feel your life is in danger, then you need to begin a plan to leave him. Also, enlist help from someone to get you organized. If there is no one that you can trust, then you can get help online from an organization who will help you get the help you need to stay safe and stop being afraid. Here is a link to a website that will help you, if you want it. Good luck to you. http://www.helpabusedwomen.org/top.htm

We as members here can give you all kinds of advice and links of places to go to get help the rest I am afraid is down to you. If you have started this discussion because you genuinly need help then take all the advice you are given here and do something about it, do not just do nothing with it. Life is too short to be scared, miserable, unhappy etc take a stand for yourself and get out, making that move, making that decision is never easy but domestic violence is recognised now and so there is no excuse for people to stay as there are plenty of organisations that will help you and your children. When I was treated badly there was nothing and no one to help, no one wanted to know, I had to do it all myself, I did and it was the best thing I ever did. I was a single parent with nothing not even a roof over my head but I got back on my feet and moved on.

Both of need to go to marriage encounters to improve communicationw. If either one of you attack the other call police!!!!!

i work in the local crisis center. our switchboard is always beeping with calls explaining situations exactly like yours. the important thing RIGHT NOW is to take the necessary precautions to get yourself and the children out ! he's a bully. he's emotionally torturing you. your life and your children's may be in danger. don't sit around worrying that his parents will get angry. your first and only thoughts are your safety and your children's. the poster right above my desk: SAVE A LIFE ! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTERS 24-HR HOTLINE 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

What you are discribing is classic isolation and demoralisation. Haveing the history on his record of domestic abuse, dont worry about him taking the kids. As far as the attorny in his phone again dont worry, there is help avialible to you, contact same people as the women shelter and they should be able to help you. I still recommend you go to counseling to help work through this, and help you move on and not continue in the cycle. No person should live in fear, or isolated from others. Oh and his friend in the probation office will be no help to him, laws are very clear and strict on this.

He is trying to intimidate you. He is trying to control and dominate you. This is what abusers do. The problem will not get any better. Forget about his parents being upset. They raised him. They are partially responsible for the person he has become. They can also be responsible for getting their son some help.........after they bail his butt out of jail. Do not ever be afraid to call the police. Your life and your children's lives are at risk. He is the one who is afraid of going to jail. His fear, my dear, is not your problem. Do whatever you have to to protect yourself and your children. Stay Safe and Stay Strong.

I would suggest that if you are that afraid of your husband that you take your children and go to one of the homes they have for women in domestic violence situations and let the professionals there take care of the it. They will provide you with shelter and give you the resources that you need to contact to have things taken care of with your husband. I know it is not an easy thing to do since I was in a similar situation for many years and put up with it until he was finally arrested and I walked. Think of what is best for the children and yourself and get away from him as soon as you can. It does not sound good.

dont be late to report this other wise he will win the costody of your children. complain agains him.. the more you will wait the more he will trouble you. send him behind the bars..

Hun, Listen if you need to call the cops then call them!! If he calls a attorey let him. He is trying to scare you. If his parents hate you then let them hate you. You to worry about you and your kids.Don't worry what pother people are going to say worry about you hun. Didnt you already leave him? I tought you wrote a discussion about it....keep us up to date.

It sounds like you need to leave while he is still in jail. As suggested you need to go to a shelter and let them assist you. You also need to file a report against him again. As long as he is in jail you are safe so do it quickly, right after you file the report leave for the shelter with your children, do this as quickly as you can. I wouldn't worry about him taking your kids away, legally no court would grant him custody over you, especially if you file another report against him. Go quickly, and let the people at the shelter help you.

see a qualified msw counselor to talk about your concerns also what specifically are what specific threats are you afraid of

Hi there, Im sorry for hearing this stuff. So you are having really bad problems with him, im sorry to hear it, I think calling the police is the right thing to do who care what his father and mother think or do, they are not suffering like you are right now. I would strongly advice speaking to a professional, you need to get this out in the open otherwise this is going to go on forever, you will never be happy. Just get on the phone or something.... Its got to be done. Best of luck

it is very sad that way he is acting. i think he is there to harm you big time. its high time call the office. i guess there si no alternative as well.

No person should be treated as you are treated. He has taken your self esteem and that is not right. Go to a shelter and get out of their. There are plenty of other guys who will treat you right.

Friend, I never knew before that you're in a tough situation. But now that I've learned of it, I'm rather shocked and surprised. I think I know how you feel. Despite of all the good and best solutions and advice everyone here in the mylot community gives you, deep inside you you're so scared to even just move out of the house while your husband is still in there. You're so afraid to make a move because he might catch you in your escape. A part of you might even be thinking that you could get this situation over with, without making a drastic move. It's really a tough decision to make and I can't blame you for thinking like this; even if everyone seems to tell you or push you into going out of this marriage already. I can't bring myself to go in unison with the whole community but somehow, all I can do for you and your kids is to accompany you in prayer that you and your kids will come out of this predicament safely and alive. I've got to admit that sometimes, my husband would also threaten me that if I make anything outside his conformities, I will never see our daughter again. He would even kill not only me, but he will also include my siblings. He is a very jealous type of guy. Whenever he threatens me, my mind goes into a limbo but I try so hard not to let him see that I'm so scared of him. I really can't fathom why so many husbands are like this. They seem not to see that all we want for the family is peace, love, and harmony. And when they do hurt us physically and emotionally, they behave like we're at the losing end and that we're also at fault. Only God knows this has to happen. I really feel for you in a time like this. And I sincerely do hope that God will deliver you from any unfortunate and untoward event. Keep on praying and whatever your decision is, I know that you've done this for the welfare of your family, much more for your kids. God be with us always.

Cream, you have to get a grip. Go see an attorney yourself. This guy is trying to intimidate you and you are letting him. please dont let him get away with this. Yes, you are probably going to have some people hating you but you have to stand up for yourself and your kids. Make the first move, dont let him destroy the course of your life.

It sounds to me like you need to leave him for your safety.How many kids do you have?Are you afraid for them too?You do not need to stay and take his verbal abuse.Call a lawyer and see what the chances of him taking your kids are.DO you have a job?If not get one NOW so that he wont be able to say you are an unfit mother with no money to support the kids.Start looking at places to live and dont wait until its too late.Take your kids and get the hell away from him.

If you are afraid to call the police then what did you really want to happen for yourself and your children? Its the best thing to do. You can also ask the help of the church. Try to confess to the priest what your husband was doing. Im sure they have good advices to gave you. Or go to a shelter on abuse women. Im sure they are much willing to give you the right help you needed. Better decide now before the problem got worst. Take care!