If you are in a relationship........

@dpk262006 (56764)
Delhi, India
August 5, 2008 11:33pm CST
If you are a woman and you are in a relationship with a guy, whenever the opportunity arises who takes the first initiative to get physical ? Is it you who take the initiative or your man? Do you think that if you take the first initiative, it will not be considered good in your man’s opinion? Do you feel that a woman should not take the first initiative; it should be the man who should take the initiative. And if you are a man in a relationship with a woman, do you take the initiative first to get physical or the woman you are in love start it? In my personal opinion, it is the man who generally takes the first initiative to get physical when he is in a relationship with a woman, barring some exceptions. Please share your experiences with us. If by the way the discussion does not appeal you, please do not post nasty comments about it. Thanks in advance.
7 people like this
19 responses
@SViswan (12071)
• India
6 Aug 08
I'm sure you know what my response to this is going to be. Though I would like the man to make the first move (would flatter me to know that I am attractive)....if he isn't doing it, I might personally take the initiative..not in a very aggressive way...but lightly and see how it goes from there before I proceed.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
I think, a woman would like her man to make the first move, but if its reverse happens sometimes, it could be quite interesting for both the partners. Nice to know that you have guts and courage to make the first move, when situation demands........LOL! (It is me, most of the time, making the first move......(of course with my better half).........LOL!) Have a great day!
@SViswan (12071)
• India
7 Aug 08
Oh! I thought the question was a general one. In my personal relationship at the moment, we don't hold back...I make the first move when I feel like it and he makes the first move when he feels like it. We don't keep count (it doesn't seem to be necessary).
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
29 Dec 08
That is a successful approach toward a relationship, I believe.
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
I am in a relationship now and I must be lucky that we don't have any issue on who needs to take the initiative or what. There are times that getting physical just arises for we have mutual consent about it. There are times that I give hints that I wanted to get physical with him and then my man do the moves and then there it is. There are also times that he gives me hints- which really turns me on, he looks so lovely when he does cute things saying that he wants it and so I take the moves so we can get started. I am really comfortable with this kind of set-up.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
6 Aug 08
You both appear great, having a superb level of understanding between you and you have mutual consent about it. It feels nice to think about such a relationship, where anyone can take the initiave. Thanks for sharing your secrets and joining us.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
6 Aug 08
hi,me and my partner have talked about this and he gets very excited when i take the initiative.our opinion is that we are partners with equal rights and anyone has the right to take the initiative.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
6 Aug 08
You both appear great, having a superb level of understanding between you. Thanks for sharing your secrets and joining us.
2 people like this
@joyadalia (1408)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
At first, it was my husband who would initiate the physical aspect of the relationship. Later, as the shyness between us faded away it was easy doing the first move. I believe that men and women should be equal in this and should not be judged by whoever does the first move. Why? Well, you will both enjoy the act, right? So why wait for your partner to make the first move when you are in the mood? I mean, okay the first first-move can be initiated by the man, but girl the second first-move and the thousands after can be yours. So go right ahead and seduce your man ;O)
@joyadalia (1408)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
Ooops, by girl here I mean any girl, not the originator of the discussion (sorry if you are not a girl) ;O)
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
I quite agree with you that it is both who should make the first move, as per the situation and understanding. So you are are bold enough to make the first move, that sounds quite interesting. Many thanks for sharing and joining us in the discussion.
@joyadalia (1408)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
Ooops. I read from a thread somewhere here that you shouldn't thank the people who respond to your discussion as this will cause the discussion to be deleted. I don't know if it's true but better be careful next time. The thread started said that it is better to rate the posters than to thank them in the comment. ;O)
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
HI deepak! Ok let me just state what's Im experiencing. In my relationship with hubby it always him who takes the initiative though I sometimes i want to take the first move it seems that or maybe he does not get what I wanted that;s why he doesn't seem to care. Even I took a bath for almost an hour and been showering almost all the lotions and colognes he still does not get it. I don't really know what's wrong with him. There are times that I got irritated when he does not see nor feel it. Even I wore the sexiet lingerie that I have he stills ignores me. Unless I told him directly that I wanted him badly then he will surely got me there. Anyways, for me there is nothing wrong if a woman take the initiative as long as it was done nicely and the woman has a relationship with the man. You know what I mean. Like they say we have equal rights and needs too.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
6 Aug 08
I appreciate your boldness and honesty. I agree with you that woman and man have equal rights. As per your reply, you are not shy of taking initiative, provided, your hubby gets your hints right. It sounds bit strange to me that why do not your sincere efforts to attract his attention towards you, do not bear fruits for you. May be, he does not expect such a bold initiative from you, may be he remains too busy in himself to notice it. But I would say - keep trying .........you will succeed.........LOL! An excellent response.
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
I wish he does notice it. Cause Ive been trying for almost a year now. And I was blaming it all to his psp. Since he had that stuff he was too busy playing and it's really hard to get his attention. Oh thanks to your appreciation. Im just stating my experience and also my disgust. That's what I love here in mylot.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
6 Aug 08
You have the guts and courage to share your feelings and desires here, that goes to your credit.Full marks to you. ON your problem, you can confront him directly, telling that you have been making all your efforts to entice and lure him........for the sake of 'love' and deep intimacy. I am sure, you will succeed! Best wishes from me.
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7880)
6 Aug 08
Well it's both really, just who ever thinks to do it first, LOL. Most of the time it is hubby that will make the first move, but I am running close behind him. He admits he likes it a lot when I do make the first move, it's a joy for him to see me wanting to do it, you know? I think if it was always him, he would feel maybe I don't like it as much.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
You have a point to make - when you say - "He likes, when you make the first move". Actually, women normally do not make the first move, but if you and your partner have good level of understanding and the woman between two of the partners take the inititiative, it always feels great. Many thanks for sharing and joining us.
@zer0charly (5616)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
LOL.lot's of initiative words. anyway, initiative to get physical? what do you mean? is that showing your affections? or if you want to make love? LOL. I find it too awkward to answer, but let me try.. my boyfriend is very showy when it comes to his emotions.. so most of the time, he take the initiative.. he'll kiss me, hug me, hold my hands.. whatever.. he's good in showing his affection to me.. if he wanted to make love, he'll just tell it to me straight.. and I find it OK, well, that is just so natural to a man to take the first initiative.. but my boyfriend always told me that it's a major turn on for them for the woman to take the initiative for them to know if the girls were still in love with them, or still emotionally attach to them... so I find it not a big deal for me to make the first move.. if I wanted to hug him, I will.. I wanted to go somewhere, I'll be the one who'll ask him out.. and if I wanted to make love, well.. why not to ask first?.. so that's it.. well, I think both should give the initiative.. after all, love is a give and take relationship.
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
Yes, you are right, to take initiative means to 'start', like you put the iginition key in a car to start. You can say it - to show affection, if you any of the partner does not show affection towards the other one, you cannot take forward the physcial relationship. I think, a woman would like her man to make the first move, but if its reverse happens sometimes, it could be quite interesting for both the partners. As you say, that your partner (boy friend) feels great, when you go for the first move and it is nice to know that you have guts and courage to make the first move, when situation demands........LOL and you do not have any hassels in it! I quite agree with you that both should take the initiative to strengthen the relationship and to make the other partner happy. Many thanks for sharing your secrets, though you were hesistant to share it.......LOL! Have a great day!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
LOL. yeah.. I feel shy to share this one.LOL. no prob.!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
But you could overcome your shyness. Well done!
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
6 Aug 08
Hi dpk, I believed that it will not only the man who will take the initiative...LOL! I guess it is exciting also once in awhile for the woman to do it! It shows that you are very comfortable with each other and more open!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
I quite agree with you that both should take the initiative to increase the fun in a relationship. But in your case, who take the initiative, is it you or your partner...LOL!
• United States
7 Aug 08
Hi dpk...honestly, my partner all the time!
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
6 Aug 08
In my experience, I have always notat the man is always the one who makes the first move on the woman. Most women will act like they are backwards or shy. they do not want to seem pushy towards the guy or make him think badly of her. Women like for the man to show them they are interested in them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
yeah sometimes it really depends on the situation
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
Many thanks for sharing your opinion. But what happens or happened in your case, did you come forward to take the initiative or did you leave it for your partner?
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
Well it depends who's in the mood to initiate stuff. I really don't mind whoever would make the first move to get physical. As for me I enjoy that both of us take our turns in starting the action. In my experience I think it's healthy in a relationship that both take turns in starting things because it makes the relationship more exciting.
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
YOu appear to have a very good level of understanding between you and your partner. Many thanks for sharing and joining us.
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
6 Aug 08
hello deepak, i honestly feel that it depends on what kind of person you are and how you feel it. sometimes it just happen without you knowing that you are already doing the initiation. anyway, to give you my own personal opinion (base on experience LOL) i dont do the first move if its physical as i believe that the physical attributes happens only when there is a good foundation in the relationship and is sacred in my part. BUT if i do like someone, i let the person feel or sometimes know how i feel about him coz i believe that if you want something then do something about it. often guys get intimidated by me and i need to have a guy who really have the balls to come talk to me or else i will be living all by myself. having said that, i managed to know a few guys (i end up not dating coz i realized that they are not what i am looking for in life and in a relationship) i let them know that i like them and i would like to know them better being my friend and if the friendship works then that is the only time i will entertain them in a deeper sense. Now lets talk about getting physical, like i said it is something that is sacred and something that is only shared to someone i truly love and someone whom i know is worth myself. the only man in my life is my husband and i am proud that i have keep myself for him. anyway, in our relationship he did all the first moves and it makes me more special coz he is just like me who takes time and get to know procedure before he do something. everything always falls into the right direction and that makes me feel that what i believe in really makes sense and that i am happy about it. Now that we are married, i like to initiate sometimes and he does sometimes depends on our mood. i guess it is one secret of a happy marriage as it adds up a spice to the relationship. you dont know what you will get till it happens. i also like to make sure that the relationship is not dull and initiation in my honest opinion makes it easier and more fun in the end. anyway, like i said it all depends in one's personality and one's belief and point of view. what works for me doesnt mean will work with someone and that is the beauty of living coz you know what ever you do makes you happy and makes someone happy as well. how about you? do you do the first move? or you kinda wait for the right moment or her moment before you do your part? takecare
@dawnzy (1)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
it is my boyfriend who takes the initiative.
1 person likes this
@samijo719 (1054)
• United States
6 Aug 08
I think in my relationship it's pretty equal. We both initate.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 08
I believe it depends on the situation. I cannot speak to all situations as all situations are different, although you should have birth control handy as an 'accident' and a disease can happen!
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
7 Aug 08
Come on Deepak u want decent comments against this discussion i am sure 50% males might not luike it and 50% females not like it And when u r in relation then who care as who take initiative??? Take care and keep on taking initiatives
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
Many have responded gracefully to the discussions. Atleast 50% man and woman who are on the other side, may like it..........if we go as per your statement.........and those who do not like it are free not to reply.....LOL! I believe in taking initiatives, which keep me going..........LOL! Many thanks for joining us. Deepak P.S. - You were perhaps absent yesterday from mylot, your dear friends were missing you....
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
7 Aug 08
Ha ha ha ha Deepak u r very right u mean u r content with another 50% of each, Not bad Well Get Going and all my wishes are with u and who are those Dear Friends who misses me as of yesterday and even noticed that i was absent?????? wow really amazed as well as flattered Take care
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
8 Aug 08
Cupid, it is for you to guess, who could be your friends who missed you, (now) day before yesterday, make a guess, you will succeed (I being one of them)..........LOL!
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
18 Jan 09
Hello deepak! I admit that I sometimes make the first initiative. I mean, sometimes when we are sitting, whether outside the porch or we are watching tv together or that we were riding a bus, I do kiss him on the cheek because everytime I saw him I can't help myself to think how lucky I am to have a man like him.
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
19 Jan 09
I've written in our my comments to your responses to my posts, that you are lucky to have a nice hubby. It is good that you are not afraid to take the initiative, it shows your love and affection towards your hubby and he is also lucky to have you as his wife.
@insulin (2480)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
Well in our relationship,it's equal..But I usually takes the first initiative to get physical but sometimes where pushin each but it sweet...:-O I guess not just the man generally takes the first initiative to get physical in a relationship.It should be equal...
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 08
Many thanks for sharing your secrets with us.
@Verity (851)
8 Aug 08
hahaha... what if I post a nasty respond? Will it be prohibited? Well... Mr. Dpk, in respond to your discussion, this is what I can say: A woman of decency and integrity and in order to gain respect, shall not make any action which would seduce a man. For true love is not a license of lust. Did you get me?
@jessieBee (1046)
• Trinidad And Tobago
6 Aug 08
well in my relationship with my fiance i sometime take initiative to get physical. i don't see anything wrong with me taking it first insted of him. i love the fact that he lets me know when he wants to get physical and he in return lovese it when i aporach him first. i just see it as letting him know what i may be thinking at that particular time.