Do you need to have things planned all the time, your calendar full?
By Emiese
@Emiese (994)
Sweden
August 23, 2008 10:23am CST
I am a person who does not like to have my calendar full. I do not want to have every hour planned and I actually like coming home from work on Friday and know that I have nothing planned for the weekend. Also, I do not have to actually do anything on that weekend, I will be happy just laying on the couch taking it easy. I do not need to make plans either, spending my time reading a book is perfectly fine a lot of times. Don't get me wrong like going out to do things or hang out with friends too, but I like my own company as much! 
However, I know a lot of people that are the complete opposite. They need to have the calendar full. I have a friend at work who complains during the day if she has no "booking" for the evening. She normally has two or three different things on for every saturday and sunday, eg. brunch with friends, than shopping with someone else and then party on the evening and same the other day. When she doesn't have anything to do I always tell her to make a cup of tea and read a book, and she always says it sounds good but the next day she has always ended up going somewhere or doing something on the night before anyway. She is just too restless to relax!
What is your personality in that sense, are you an active person that get stressed if you do nothave your calendar full or do you get stressed when you have to many things planned. Do you prefer going out to do things or do you prefer time for yourself at home? What are your preferences, and what do your calendar loook like, is it full of appointments or do you take it as it comes?
However, I know a lot of people that are the complete opposite. They need to have the calendar full. I have a friend at work who complains during the day if she has no "booking" for the evening. She normally has two or three different things on for every saturday and sunday, eg. brunch with friends, than shopping with someone else and then party on the evening and same the other day. When she doesn't have anything to do I always tell her to make a cup of tea and read a book, and she always says it sounds good but the next day she has always ended up going somewhere or doing something on the night before anyway. She is just too restless to relax!
What is your personality in that sense, are you an active person that get stressed if you do nothave your calendar full or do you get stressed when you have to many things planned. Do you prefer going out to do things or do you prefer time for yourself at home? What are your preferences, and what do your calendar loook like, is it full of appointments or do you take it as it comes?7 people like this
16 responses
@metalhalo (599)
• United States
23 Aug 08
I really only use my calender to remember special dates such as birthdays anniversaries and of course for vacations and holidays. We have a large extended family..all from my hubby's side. So it's pretty much known that there will be some sort of standing plans with them.
We get together every weekend. Have dinner, hang out, talk about whatevers going on and then we'll have a Sunday dinner.
As for trying to plan absolutely everything. That's just impossible
and I wouldn't want to. You can't put life on a time table. Things are always coming up unexpectedly. You just have to go with the flow of it. I do make tons of lists..sort of like reminders of what I need to get done. Those are very helpful.
We get together every weekend. Have dinner, hang out, talk about whatevers going on and then we'll have a Sunday dinner.
As for trying to plan absolutely everything. That's just impossible and I wouldn't want to. You can't put life on a time table. Things are always coming up unexpectedly. You just have to go with the flow of it. I do make tons of lists..sort of like reminders of what I need to get done. Those are very helpful. 1 person likes this
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
23 Aug 08
My boyfriend's family is similar to yours. His mom and four sister with lots of children lives in the same city. When we were there for a visit (we live far away) they were there ALL the time. Either it was us going to one of their families to hang out and for dinner, or all of them were visiting the family where we stayed. Sometimes they just dropped the kids of in the morning if the parents were going to run earands etc. For me I survived for about two days then I just wanted to scream and to get away, I need time for myself!
For them I guess they are so used to it and depend on eachother a lot, and it is practical too, one family taking care of all the kids etc and also they always have people close to talk to etc, so in a way I envy them for that whole "everyone is always involved" social lifestyle, but it is certainly nothing that "fits" my style of being! I just craved my time alone, time to think for myself!
Isn't it great that we are all different
For them I guess they are so used to it and depend on eachother a lot, and it is practical too, one family taking care of all the kids etc and also they always have people close to talk to etc, so in a way I envy them for that whole "everyone is always involved" social lifestyle, but it is certainly nothing that "fits" my style of being! I just craved my time alone, time to think for myself!
Isn't it great that we are all different 1 person likes this
@ram_cv (16513)
• India
24 Aug 08
I am mixed person in this aspect. I generally need around 60-70% of my calendar planned and the remaining 30% for unplanned activities. For e.g. when I go out on a vacation, I plan broadly on what all places to visit and roughly how long we will spend at any place, but I would put only so that we have around 60% of our total time available for these planned activities. That leaves me the scope of putting in another 40% of unplanned activities based on the place and what we like to do there.
This way I find most things are covered and leaves enough room to try out something new that comes up.
That is my general preference.
Cheers!
Ram
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
24 Aug 08
Thanks for your comment! I agree with you about if one go away on holiday etc. Then I generally find that I want to be prepared to make the best of the holiday. If I spend the time and money to go somewhere I want to make the best of it, so I too normally look up the place and plan in a wide perspective what to do, so I don't miss anything I really want to do. But I also leave time for other stuff that aren't planned. Also I find it depending on the time you have. If you are only away for a weekend then I tend to plan it more, whereas when I was travelling three months in Australia I had nothing planned except for the way I was going, and I stopped at places for days or weeks at a time just deciding on the evening what to do the next day.
@marababe (2503)
• Philippines
24 Aug 08
Hi emiese!
I think I'm kind of like you. I really don't like keeping my calendar full although I like to plan ahead and write it down on my calendar just to remind me. During weekends I prefer being at home and enjoying some movies, lying down on my bed and just plain relax. No worries or anything. It's not like I'm really really busy these days since I don't have a job yet but when my friends plan a lot of stuffs for the week or for the month, I skip out on most of it and agree on some for the sake of friendship, bonding moments and at least being out of the house once in a while. But it's mostly just lunch OR movies OR dinner. Something that doesn't take up my ENTIRE day. I like to go home with some energy left in me to take a bath and relax and appreciate a hot cup of milk. Me time is really important for me. It's what's keeping me sane for most part of the days.
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
24 Aug 08
From what I read it sounds like you feel exactly like me!! That was what I was trying to tell, about coming home and enjoy the fact that I have the weekend all to myself or just relaxing. I am not feeling stressed out that the weekend is my only time off so I have to have time to see friends, going shopping, cleaning and whatever else you normally can consider you "have to" do. The cleaning can always be done later!
That was what I was trying to tell, about coming home and enjoy the fact that I have the weekend all to myself or just relaxing. I am not feeling stressed out that the weekend is my only time off so I have to have time to see friends, going shopping, cleaning and whatever else you normally can consider you "have to" do. The cleaning can always be done later! 
@MemoryMaster (6)
• China
24 Aug 08
My calendar is always full,however it isnot my desire!And i also get little things
from my busy day!I swear i will change that!Can you congratulate me?
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
24 Aug 08
I am not exactly sure what you mean! But if you feel your calendar is too full and you work on changing that to a life where you have a balance of planned things as well as time for yourself of course I can congratulate you on reaching this conclusion! It is always important to know and work with yourself all the time! Many people forget about that and are to focused on what other people thinks or wants!
@sugarplum9084 (1771)
• United States
23 Aug 08
I am exactly like you, I hate to have my time booked, I like to give that time to myself to relax. I even don't like when my friends bother me to hang out, I work so many hours that friends just seem like a task to dread, I would rather just spend that time alone away from all the people I have to see at work. I prefer spending my time here on mylot or perhaps reading a book or surfing other websites and listening to music. It's great to sleep in as well when I can, I live for a good night's sleep! The only thing I have booked is a flight to Sweden for December 6th- January 4th! Now I am really looking forward to that, other than that my schedule consists or work and school, the constant cycle! It will be nice to get my last days off for a while, on Monday and Tuesday, then I am back to the hard schedule. Today I go in to work though 3-11, which isn't as bad as my other shifts I have pulled, I think it will be an easy day, hopefully this Sunday will not be a busy day! I also know others who have to be doing something at all times or they think they are a failure in life, they don't think I do enough extra activities and they always hound me to do things with them, but no thank you I prefer my lifestyle the way it is haha, now leave me alone 
. Happy mylotting and have a great day or night!
. Happy mylotting and have a great day or night! @Emiese (994)
• Sweden
23 Aug 08
Wow, are you going to Sweden? And for almost a month too, over Christmas! I am from Sweden , so I get a bit curious! What are you going to do here? Have you got family here, going on holidays or what? Where in Sweden are you going? You are aware that it is winter in Sweden in December, don't you? (My boyfriend is from Australia and a friend of his was going to come here in wintertime, but he thought it was summer here then, just like the seasons in Australia).
Since you come here over Christmas make sure you get to go eat a proper Christmas dinner. We have very special traditions and meals over Christmas, it is like a "smorgasbord" with all different dishes etc. That is the best thing about Christmas in my opinion!
Let me know if you have any questions about Sweden, I'd be happy to help if I can!
, so I get a bit curious! What are you going to do here? Have you got family here, going on holidays or what? Where in Sweden are you going? You are aware that it is winter in Sweden in December, don't you? (My boyfriend is from Australia and a friend of his was going to come here in wintertime, but he thought it was summer here then, just like the seasons in Australia).
Since you come here over Christmas make sure you get to go eat a proper Christmas dinner. We have very special traditions and meals over Christmas, it is like a "smorgasbord" with all different dishes etc. That is the best thing about Christmas in my opinion!
Let me know if you have any questions about Sweden, I'd be happy to help if I can!@sugarplum9084 (1771)
• United States
23 Aug 08
Oh my gosh that is awesome! I had no idea you were from Sweden! Well the main reason I am going there is because my boyfriend is a svensk 
. We visit each other, the last visit he was here for a month, June 11th- July 11th, so it's an exciting life of travel for us hehe. He lives on an island called Stegesund, outside of Vaxholm, which is off of Stockholm, so I am very excited! I have been trying to learn Swedish on and off for over a year now, but I am a total failure of learning by myself because I get so side tracked, I wish there was an actual class around here, but I will have to wait for college which I am hoping will be in Philadelphia, there is a Swedish museum that offers classes there. I mean I could learn by myself, but I am just too busy with everything to get focused, I guess I can only get focused in a classroom environment where I can't get up and do other things! It must be about 18:06 there right now if you have my pojkväns time haha. I am not worried about the weather, where I live it is just as cold in Northern USA, there's also more snow during the winter here than in Stockholm, so it can't be too bad! The only shock will be all the water I will see there haha. Where do you live in Sweden?
. We visit each other, the last visit he was here for a month, June 11th- July 11th, so it's an exciting life of travel for us hehe. He lives on an island called Stegesund, outside of Vaxholm, which is off of Stockholm, so I am very excited! I have been trying to learn Swedish on and off for over a year now, but I am a total failure of learning by myself because I get so side tracked, I wish there was an actual class around here, but I will have to wait for college which I am hoping will be in Philadelphia, there is a Swedish museum that offers classes there. I mean I could learn by myself, but I am just too busy with everything to get focused, I guess I can only get focused in a classroom environment where I can't get up and do other things! It must be about 18:06 there right now if you have my pojkväns time haha. I am not worried about the weather, where I live it is just as cold in Northern USA, there's also more snow during the winter here than in Stockholm, so it can't be too bad! The only shock will be all the water I will see there haha. Where do you live in Sweden?1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157546)
• United States
23 Aug 08
I prefer to have my calendar really empty, to be honest. I did some stuff this morning, when I would have rather stayed home, but it was for grandkids, so I did it am happy just being online, and catching up with stuff here. I think people who [/b]HAVE[b] something to do are perhaps running away from something.
@shana123 (2095)
• India
24 Aug 08
The whole world has turned out to be busy so im not a exceptional case.. lol the thing is if a business man or a normal man who goes to work if he says that he is busy there is point in that.. but now a days we teenagers have also started to use the same word..!! yes in my class my professors will be giving homeworks the very next day when we are asked to submit it.. there would be handful of my friends stand up and ask escuse to the professor that they were very busy lol.. but its true now a days even small child is running out of time i mean we are unable to get satisfied with this 24 hours its like we need 48 hours a day to do all our daily tasks without carrying over our pending work to the other day.. Even i have faced the same.., we cannot change the normal hours from 24 to 48 hours but i think a good planning for the day can surely help us to get rid of this tension... though i dont much follow what i have planned for the day but atleast 50% i follow so that my work is not pending still.. and i feel releived only when im planning my day if not the end of the day it will be really flooded with assignments,record work etc etc.... !!!!
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
24 Aug 08
You are very right. The time seems to be running out, not only to do things but also for children to be children. I think it is a shame when kids makes excuses not to be able to do their homework. Unfortunately they don't seem to understand that it is their job and that is what is supposed to be highest priority. Also the problem is what one is busy with. If it is just play and socializing I think it is important that the teachers does not budge but also show that school comes first. If it is chores etc I think it is time for a chat with those parents. Nothing should be more important than school! That is when you are grounding your life, what you will become when you grow up!
Don't grow up to fast, there will be time to be busy and have your calendar full. When you are a child life should be simple, you go to school, come home, do your homework and whatever time is left you do your chores and play with friends. I know it doesn't always look like this, but it should! Your childhood is so short, you should have time to enjoy it!
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
24 Aug 08
My calendar is mostly to remind me of stuff I -have- to do, or want to do.
Next year it'll be for all the events I want to go to. Protests, rallies, flea markets, festivals...etc, 'cause I'm hoping to travel then.
But I don't like to plan every day. A full calendar stresses me out.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
23 Aug 08
For the most part, the only things on my calendar are appointments that have to be kept, or trips that are planned, which for the most part we don't really do a lot of planning. I do have a trip planned for the end of October, only because I had to send in a deposit, and plan to be away for about a week. Other wise, I look forward to the weekend, and not really having anything planned to do but relax. Most Fridays my s/o works a little late to finish up paperwork, etc. so it's not all waiting for him come Monday morning. Then we usually spend the weekend just staying around the house, reading, watching tv, or on the computer. I just enjoy being together on the weekend even if we aren't going anywhere or doing anything.
@davebrown64 (443)
• United States
24 Aug 08
No, I do not like to have my things planned all the time or have my calendar full. I do have a day planner and have had one over the last several years, but believe me and you, it does not do me much good to keep track of everything that I do, unless of course, my job requires me to do so. When it comes to work, which unfortunately at this time am looking for work, then I make sure that everything that I do and what is expected of me, is kept organized. I am an organized person and I like to keep it that way, but this does not mean that I have to keep things other than work planning, planned. My wife and I do things spontaneously and I think this is better than try to have things planned. However, if there is a concert or a gathering that we are going to attend sometime in the future, than I make sure that we do place it on the calendar and keep it there until the event is completed. Then it is removed. I use Microsoft Outlook calendar and then I print it out if there are enough events to compel me to do so.
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
24 Aug 08
I know what you mean. I am too very organized at work, and really need my calendar for my meetings there. I guess that is one of the reasons why I don't like planning for the time off, I spend enough time in meetings etc at work. Normally I leave my day planner at work, because that is where I fill it in, and that is where I am when I need to know what the day holds. Thanks for your response!
@jamesnogra (381)
• Philippines
24 Aug 08
if you try to write all of your schedules in a calendar or planner, it will just give you a headache and make you feel more busy. the only advantage of a planner, calendar or list of your things to do is that it will help you remember. but when your list becomes full or crowded, you started to feel tired and lazy to do the first task because your mind only thinks for the end of the day.
@binkdonk (13)
• Canada
24 Aug 08
It seems to me Emiese, that having a full calendar sort of makes it hard to enjoy spontenaity. I agree with your philosophy, it is good once in a while to make plans but it is great to just relax and take it easy. I am not a huge "plan maker" myself - very non-committal actually. Sometimes it takes some arm twisting to get me to agree on making plans ahead of time.
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
24 Aug 08
I guess it depends on what it is, sometimes you have to make plans just to know you will get tickets etc. For me that is quite the opposite from my normal un-planned life. Since these things are normally things I really want to do or go to I make sure to plan ahead so I don't miss it. In that sense my boyfriend is a lot more spontaneous, he does not at all think about that sometimes you actually have to make plans ahead to be able to get tickets or seats etc.
@likaes (496)
• Singapore
24 Aug 08
No, but I would like to. I feel like I'm doing too much of nothing. Everyone around me seems busy with stuff and when I ask them out for something they can't go because of previous arrangements. This makes me feel like I'm the one not having anything to do.
@Emiese (994)
• Sweden
24 Aug 08
I know what you mean, I used to feel that too, until I realized that I was leading my life the way I wanted to and started wonder why I should do things a certain way because that is "standard". Why should I feel bad for not doing anything when that is what I wanted. Of course one need to adapt for seeing friends, like now when me and my friends work we normally have to put more effort in to get the time to see eachother, including planning it. But that is because I want to spend time with them!
Don't feel bad for something you have chosen. You have to figure out why you have nothing to do, if you would want to have things to do and yet not, you have to put more effort in, plan ahead with your friends, take up a hobbie that get you out of the house etc. But if you have nothing to do because you have chosen that because that is how you want your life, than you should not feel bad about it at all, and you should certainly not compare yourself to others, that is never good!
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
24 Aug 08
I just use my calender to remember important dates, but yes i do prefer to keep things as routine as possible i feel more comfortable when im on routine schedule but every once and a wile i can be spontaneous, and i dont think you shouldn't fill your schedule so high that you have no time for your self, i like going out with friends to, but i think a person should always make time to just relax and just enjoy things at home.
@JHairgrove (26)
• United States
24 Aug 08
No, I do not like to keep a calendar full, I never know when something might happen that I might would like to attend. I keep my dates pretty well open.
