Girl talks are never enough…....

Female friendship is beautiful.... - Female friendship is beautiful.
@mimpi1911 (25473)
India
September 11, 2008 2:59am CST
When Virginia Woolf said, “Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends,” she had rightly generalized the truth in inbred girly talks. Female friendship, in all its lovely layers and intricacies, is bottomless. They just keep talking all day, all night. Girl talks are never kind of enough. I have some friends who yap, yap and yap until either the listener(s) fall asleep or their mouth start to ache. And sometimes I think we just like to hear each other breathe. Most of this sharing, this self-disclosure, is associated with positive friendship and positive feelings, and dwelling on problems, concerns and frustrations. And in many cases, in that of teenagers, this leads to anxiety and depressions. That’s but the flip side of it. For boys, such intense emotional conversations tend to occur less often and hardly contribute to heightened anxiety or depressive moods. I think therein lies the basic instinctive difference between the two genders. Happy yakking! Credit: nytimes
5 people like this
20 responses
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
11 Sep 08
Yes we are certainly programmed differently! I am fortunate to have male friends that I CAN have deep and meaningful discussions with and it is of tremendous benefit to be able to do this. We are generally raised to be tough and unemotional; to be MEN. My mother did the complete opposite with me. My Father didn't particularly like it but she won in the end! Sure I can be a man's man but I am also not afraid to show my emotions and talk openly either. I do however fall into the same patterns many men do when it comes to listening. It is a male trait to want to FIX everything and offer a solution rather than just listen sometimes. This is where women are far more adept. A group of women can patiently sit there for long periods of time and just LISTEN. Men do find this very hard!
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
11 Sep 08
I thought, listening is but men's forte! But what you said made sense actually. Men are more into fixing and settling things rather than gossiping. Listening is still their USP. That's how I feel.
2 people like this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
11 Sep 08
Oh we HEAR but we don't actually listen! There's a big difference. lol. Secret revealed!
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@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
11 Sep 08
Your wife will kill you for this!
2 people like this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
11 Sep 08
Mimpi, How many times we guys express our disbelief on how much girls can go on and on. It never ceases to amaze me. It's on the phone, when they meet, at the mall...All though much of it as you have put it is associated with positive friendship and feelings and concerns, I'm sure quite abit of it is gossip , harmless gossip . I suppose that's what keeps the conversations interesting and stimulating. I rarely see guys talking with each other on emotional and self disclosure related topics . Most of the times the conversations are more wordly and material related . The discussions do get intense and charged very often, but are more in the nature of oneupmanship , boastful, wit and sarcasm. But i never have seen the conversations between guys go on for extended periods of time. We will run of topics and get bored. The tenacity with which girls can keep themselves at it. It's mind boggling.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
11 Sep 08
You think that all of those gossips are harmless? You can never trust gals! lol... More seriously, you have a point here when you said about the oneupmanship and boastful instincts that most men cannot do without. It has more to do with competition, ambition and professional ego. But then exception proves the rule and I think I am through and through exception. Tell me about you.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
Alok I really appreciate your thoughts. Gossip shouldn't be allowed to get over our poise and peace. I have always harped on healthy gossip and I know very well that you do the same. Thanks.
• United States
11 Sep 08
I always grow tried of girl talk most times. I would rather just listen to people or watch movies. I would rather do productive things than talk all of the time. I have girl talks with my mother, and with women who are far older than me, but it is seldom that I ever do.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
Good for you.
• United States
11 Sep 08
True to a point. If I want someone to commiserate with, have a few drinks and blab I call the girls or a couple of close female friends. BUT if it is a real problem and I am despondent I call my male friends. They don't beat around the bush and call it as they see it.
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@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
That makes sense!
@switlyf (649)
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
When im with my girlfriends stories are never ending,laughter is soooo much that we almost cried, we just can't get enough of each other. I love the feeling of talking to my old pals and making up for the years that we are not communicating. Happy mylotting,cheers!
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
Yeah, I know how it feels!
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I remember these days. When we were younger, my girlfriends and I would just talk and talk and talk. We'd be spending the whole day together talking and we'd stay up until the wee hours of the next morning talking some more. I still do this with my best friend here. We seldom see each other but when we do get together, we talk while we eat, we talk while we drive, we talk while in the restroom, we talk while walking down the street, we talk while we cook... we talk a lot! But that's probably because we just miss each other and want to know how they are and we like to reminisce about the past. "Do you remember that time when..." And then we'd start laughing.
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@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
Same here Sisi! Its so good to be into good company and I am lucky to have some real good female friends and Guess what we still go for slumber parties.. That's fun always.
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
Hi mimpi. I feel the strongest, and loveliest when i am with my girl friends. And i know they feel the same about themselves too. We talk endless. We used to have slumber parties, until our late twenties. We could talk until morning. It's like therapy.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
You are bang on! I just meant this only and can relate to it fully. Slumber parties are great way to chill. smiles...
@drannhh (15237)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I think guy talk is more competitive. But as I had brothers and no sisters, and grew up out in the sticks I missed out on much of the early formative girl talk stuff and tend to prefer mixed company. I think guys are quite talkative too when they are with each other, but that they often clam up around gals.
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@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
Yes that's what is so apparent in this discussion. And guy talks are more competitive and ego centric, different from girl talks in most of the cases.
@subha12 (18449)
• India
11 Sep 08
it is absolutely true. i have also seen the similar cases with my cousins, friends etc. but still there are exceptions. i can say of myself. i speak very littl. i love to listen though
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
12 Sep 08
Same here, subha.
• China
11 Sep 08
hi,this is ruilong ge,you can call me long. you are right . my girlfriend always talk with me .i do not know how she can have so many question.it is intereting,isn't it?
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
11 Sep 08
Hi long that's what makes her lovely, isn't it?
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 08
i didnt even read the whole thing because that is way to loong lol.
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6907)
• Philippines
14 Sep 08
Heya, I do so agree with this post!LOL I know how it is when a group of female friends get together. It would seem that there would be no tomorrow in the amount of stories and exchanges that goes on. Yeah with boys it usually doesnt happen that way. I guess thats why most boys cant carry a conversation that well unless they are the charmer talkative types who just loves to entertain. As for the usual circumstances, its like a question and answer portion in a pageant. I also noticed that girls live for details, whereas boys get satisfied with the simple summary of the story. hmm, I wonder...if there is no girl friend available and only a boy, would the boy suffice as having someone to talk to? Girls really can stand to talk to someone who doesnt talk much but of course a response or reaction from the boy would be expected. I guess that could work but I think not for long. It just isnt the same when a girl is talking to her girl peers right?
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
15 Sep 08
Hi bj very well said. Cannot agree more. Yes the girls love details in everything and this is no exception. I have experienced this time and again. And the boys most of the times hear and not listen. We will have a nice time when we meet, BJ. smiles... Happy chatting.
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6907)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
Thank you.^_^ Hehehe, I think so too! Maybe we'll talk like there is no tomorrow either.
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
16 Sep 08
hahahha... Have a great day dear!
@dpk262006 (56737)
• Delhi, India
16 Sep 08
Excellent Findings should I say! I think if NY Times has done research on the topic, it must be near to perfection. I think, you also support this theory, that is why you started the thread. May be I will have to agree with the findings because I also feel when two woman/girls or a group of them is sitting together, they just cannot remain mum or silent, they will keep on talking and talking. I think, man also talk when they are in gathering and they do share their grievances, joys and sorrows amongst themselves, yet you can find some of them very reserved and less talktive. I love to talk, when with my friends. I just cannot sit idle or in mute mode.......LOL! Talking works as a catherisis and help us share our pent up emotions.
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
17 Sep 08
I agree. But this discussion reveals that men are no less than chatter boxes themselves. It's hard to generalise. But girls talks are different from guy talks. Female friendship is a beautiful thing that guys would hardly perceive. Smiles...
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56737)
• Delhi, India
17 Sep 08
LOL! I will have to agree with your contentions.
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
18 Sep 08
@mayka123 (14041)
• India
12 Sep 08
Yakkers mouth start to ache? Are you kidding? i have not met a single yakker who stopped yakking because their mouth started to ache! Their yakking only stops when I pretend to sleep. And I say pretend because I do not fall asleep during the day. And it is not only the gals who yak. The guys too enjoy yakking! It is just that they do not get females to pretend to listen to their yakking! The guys like to pretend to listen to the females yakking and that is why they continue.....
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
13 Sep 08
Yes I know a few men who b*tch more than we do..
@mayka123 (14041)
• India
13 Sep 08
Dont you know that men are bigger b*tchers than women!
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
29 Sep 08
I agree with you totally.
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
13 Sep 08
Hi Mou if u r talking about males talk, exceptions are there but trust me we ran out of topic in 15-20 mins Lol Take care
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
16 Sep 08
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
16 Sep 08
@SViswan (12065)
• India
15 Sep 08
lol..I am part of the yakking gang...and can yak all day even if I'm not really opening up to someone. Fortunately I have a couple of friends like me and we can all talk at the same time and still listen to each other. It's actually fun and I think it's a in-built quality that most women have:)
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
16 Sep 08
lol.. I know SV what you mean. Even though I am a shy kind I have really garrulous friends and guess what I just love to listen to them. It's fun! Will love your company as well. Hope to meet you soon dear. You take care.
• India
12 Sep 08
How about you Mimpi?
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
13 Sep 08
You tell me Saivenkat, how you get me?
@riyasam (16567)
• India
12 Sep 08
i think sharing reduces ones stressand females have more stress stemming from a sense of responsibility.
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
13 Sep 08
you know what riya...you are right! Actually that is it. Female stress needs venting out and no better way than chatting.
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
12 Sep 08
Yeah we do talk A LOT! I'm glad my boyfriend doesn't mind when I chat all day long. He actually thinks it's nice because I'm not yakking about nonsense and he learns new things from me. Actually he gets worried when I'm quiet, he also interprets it as me having a bad mood.
@riyasam (16567)
• India
12 Sep 08
yea,my lover too tells me that i talk a lot.i dont think so.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
Part of being a girl is talking with friends. You cant just avoid it. Sometimes you talk about fashion. The next thing you know they talk about relationship and so on...I know coz i am also talkative when im with my girl friends lol. But sometimes girls cant just get enough about gossip which i totally dont like at all. Some girl friends of mine talk about other peoples lives and i dont really want to share my views at all coz i think that is non of my business. There are things that girls do that i dont totally agree. One is unable to keep a secret. Some girls cant just help themselves. When someone says a secret and said it is between her and that person. Some girls just cant help themselves from spreading gossip to other people. That is the same reason why i never share secret to any of my friends. It is hard to trust a girl friends sometimes coz when you are around them they are so nice to you. But when you are not around they started talking behind your back. Sad but true...I like talking and sharing my views but i never share things that are personal. When girls started to have misunderstanding. Tendencies are you will find yourself the talk of the town! yes it is so true. I have one friend of mine who is my bestfriend and shes the only person i trust among all of my girl friends. I consider her as my bestfriend. Aside from her i consider all of them as friends at times of happiness lol but not at times of sorrow. I know not all girls are like that. I know coz i have found one and she became my best friend. But those type of person are hard to find.
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
16 Sep 08
Yeah most girls are like that, unable to keep secrets but then there are so many who can do it as well. They are garrulous and in most cases they do it unintentionally. You must be the best judge of the things and ppl around you. So that's indeed a wise move on your part. smiles...