Closer or Further...

Stressed... - Stressed...
@twoey68 (13651)
United States
September 25, 2008 7:41am CST
I was listening to a program the other day and the woman speaking said something that really hit home. She said that we always think of friends and family that live far away as wonderful ppl and think about how much we miss them but the ones that are near us we think of how much they irritate us. Her reasoning was that when ppl are around you all the time that they tend to get on your nerves and stress you out but ppl that live far away only come for a visit and it’s usually all pleasant. If you had to live near the ones that live far away they’d probably get on your nerves as well. I got to thinking about this and thinking about my Dad. He lives up in Michigan. We see each other once in a great while and it’s really pleasant and I wish I could either move closer to him or he could move closer to me. Then I have to stop and think of how it is when we’re together a lot…he likes to control everything, he thinks I’m way too much like my Mom and he tends to decide things for you in your life, which is why I moved away in the first place. Do you think ppl that live far away would be just as stressful as those that live around you? Do you think it’s a case of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? Is there family or friends that your happy live far away? [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
3 people like this
24 responses
25 Sep 08
Hi twoey68, Yes its a ture saying absense makes the heart grows fonder but there is still that blood tie, I live about hour and half from my brothers and sisters and yet I only see one sister and not the others because whe are not close but we care. Ta,ara
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
25 Sep 08
i think you are justlucky to have family no matter where they are or how much they irritate u or whatever. my family is dwindling down very quickly. enjoy them while u can.
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Sep 08
Yes, I have found this also to be true. The people that I enjoy spending time with live the farthest away, but we don't quite get along as well when we live closer because we get into each other's business too much and irritate each other more.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
25 Sep 08
Yes, because when you see people less often is easy to tolerate certain behaviors than when you have to deal with them on a daily basis.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
25 Sep 08
That is an interesting thought. I tend to agree with it. When we are not around our family or friends constantly we don't get on each other's nerves or in each other's way. We can enjoy an occasional phone call rather than the daughter with three wild kids who terrorize the cat or don't listen. Yeah, I think absence does make the heart grow fonder (for the perfect family, friend,etc) and closeness breeds contempt for each other ( especially when you stay too long0. LOL!
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I like where I live adn most of the family have no notion of moving here altho some we would love to move here and was going to but their plans got changed now they cant or wont move here. Oh yes there are some I am glad live where they do . I can talk to them on the phone if I miss them that much lol.
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
25 Sep 08
Hi twoey-I definitley think that distance makes the heart grow fonder especially for me as I like my own space too much and meeting up with family is more pleasnt for me as I know as so do they that if we lived to close we definatley would get on each others nerves..my mum on the other hand I wouldn't mind living closer to as she never interfers in anyone's business and only gives advice if you need it..I have friends but can pick out of a hat those who are good to me and have always stayed loyal...I live not far from one of them but she is rather like my mum but her advice although very sound can be really overpowering yet I have known her for 39yrs..and she is a member of mylot now too....littleowl
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61148)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I agree with the fact that if we're around people all the time that they get on your nerves. My mom managed to stay out of the big family blow up over one of her cousin's divorce because we were 1500 miles away!
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Sep 08
I don't think this is always the case. I can think of people who have lived further away, and I still think of them as irritating. On the other hand, I live near my mom and she is my best friend. Absense does not always make the heart grow fonder. Sometimes you say...boy, am I glad he does not live next door...even when the person lives hundreds of miles away.
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
25 Sep 08
There is a saying that "familiarity breeds contempt" and I think that, in many cases, that is true. My mother, a few years after my dad passed, found a new boyfriend. They never married and never lived together, and for 10 years were happy as toast and jam!! I told my husband that I love him but if anything ever happened to him that I would never marry again or live with a man. He said that he agreed. LOL
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
25 Sep 08
Yep, guilty as charged..I really do miss my cousins and sis in law and even my sister, but I know that if we lived close together I would be singing a different tune..
@winterose (39896)
• Canada
28 Sep 08
yes I think there is a lot of truth in what your friend said, when they live far away we are so happy to see them that we overlook the things that bother us thinking that we have only a short time with them so let's make the best of it. If they were here every day then it would get on our nerves, also they would be doing it more often, let's just take a stupid example, you dad slurps his soup and you hate that, while he is visiting he ate soup once, so it wasn't that annoying, but if he was to be around you all the time, you would hear him slurp his soup all the time, that would get very annoying.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
27 Sep 08
It is actually quite true in most cases. THe thing is most people tend to keep the best memories when they're away and with time even forget the not so nice things, those small things that do get on our nerves and irritate. It depends on the people, of course, but in general living too close even to family or very close friends can be complicated. The best option is not too close. Of course not too far is not the best either. In my own case, living in the same city but not close together would work for most cases - maybe outside the city in the case of my in laws LOL I have the example happening in my home right now. My mom has been staying with us since May - my invitation - and she will stay with us until November. Now I hadn't seen my mom for 10 years. I had kept all the good memories and discarded the not so good. These few months with such close proximity have been trying. I was forced to remember - fast - some of the things that never worked with us even when I was living with her. This doesn't change my feeling for her, and I will still miss her a lot when she leaves, but it was a reminder that leaving too close is not the best idea:)
@walijo2008 (4646)
• United States
26 Sep 08
Yes, I have family that live far away, well not far away but in other towns from me, but we don't get to see each other that much either. Its always good to have one of them over for a visit because we don't see each other everyday, and I'm happy to see them when I do. I think if I lived closer to them, I would probably get tired of them and they would always be calling me for something, if I did, or to babysit or something like that, so I'm glad we don't live near each other...lol.
• Philippines
26 Sep 08
That is very true in all sense there is. I mean If you live so close to all the people you love no matter how good you are there will come a time that you will be annoyed to the one you love or them to you (vice versa). Because togetherness brings so much comfort that you forgot that they still have their own life to live and think . All of us has our moods and day that may affect others.
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
26 Sep 08
That is about the truth of the matter these days. Alot of the ones that live close to us drive us crazy and want to mooch off of us or talk about us like a dog. The ones that live far away, hardly ever call or come around to bother you. I have to choose the distance just to get some peace of mind.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I know this is true because I deal with it alot. I miss and love my family but having them here alot or being around alot just gets my nerves up and my husbands. We do tend to get along with those who are farther away and out of state better then those who are closer.
• China
26 Sep 08
somtimes ,it is ture, especially for your close relative
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I moved to a different town because we all lived on the same property in different trailers. We all got on each other's nerves. I get along with my brothers way better now. They are really, really loud. I'm know as the quiet one for a reason. I like quiet, not loud. When I go to their houses they are quiet for a time, but then they get loud. That's when it's time for me to leave. One will start smoking or drinking and that is when it's time for me to leave-whichever comes first, the loudness or the smoking/drinking.
@seraj143 (75)
• India
26 Sep 08
Hi folks I don't think that staying nearer or farther is going to effect the relationship between the persons. I strongly hold the opinion that the compatibility of the persons involved in the relation matters, which turns on our nerves and irritate us. Until we are comfortable with the person it doesn't cause any pain or hurt.The most admiring the person with whom you are in relation with the more will be the compatibility. Once the person is compatible the less you have problem with the person and no pains and regrets at all.On the contrary if the person is pestering you then the compatibility matters and so the person.Staying with such a person will be quite difficult.My opinion regarding the topic would be you should try the extent of compatibility with the person with whom you have problem and finally when you make up your mind of the unworthiness then you should quit, whether that be nearer or far away.The one thing that would certainly pain would be of some dearer ones when he or she is far away from you.