Should a guest be expected to help tidy up if they are staying with you ?

Canada
September 25, 2008 8:07am CST
If you have someone come over to visit for a week or two do you expect that there are cerain things they should help out with like make their bed when they get up or help out with supper or the dishes or do you feel they are a guest in your home and they should not have to help out with anything ? What do you feel they should help out with and why do you feel this way ? What about if one just comes over for supper should they help with the dishes in this case ? Do you expect help or demand help or are you just as happy to do it yourself ?
25 people like this
143 responses
@ersmommy1 (12595)
• United States
25 Sep 08
If they are a guest, by definition, I don't think so. It is however the polite and nice thing to do. I help out when I stay in someone elses home. Even if it is just clearing the table after a meal. I also ask if there is anything else I may do. Some people don't i guess.
• Canada
25 Sep 08
I always offer to help as well . I don't feel that me going to visit should entitle anyone to have wait on me :) Thank you for your response .
4 people like this
• United States
25 Sep 08
I don't expect them to make their bed, even my own kids don't do that. But if they are to make a mess I expect them to clean it up - like the bathroom when they are done showering..clean up the floor, if they use the last bit of paper on the toilet paper roll.. throw out the empty and replace it with a fresh roll, pick up their own close, if they spill or drop food or drink.. clean it up, throw out their own garbage - things in this nature. But I do not expect them to help with dinner, if they offer (most do) then I would except their help. If your guest has enough respect for you, your family and home then there should not be any problems and you wouldn't have to expect or ask anything of your guest.. it would just be done.
4 people like this
• Canada
25 Sep 08
I agree with you completly this is just common courtesy when staying with someone else . If you were at home you would do all this without giving it a second thought so you should have the same decency to do it when you are a guest with someone who is supposed to be a friend not a slave to you . As for the bed I agree as well , my own children don't do this all the time and I can't say I get it done every day either so I would not expect this of someone else but when I stay with someone I do this because I don't them to feel they have to go in behind me especially if it is someone who normally does this routinely in their own home . Thank you for your response .
2 people like this
@seeths (413)
25 Sep 08
If I am satying at some one's place I make sure that I help them out even if it is the slightest thing like cleaning the table,washing the vessels and I dont feel shy about it as I feel it would show our gratitude towards them.If they come over to my place I dont insist them on cleaning or I dont even mind if they dont as they are our guests at home. Regards
4 people like this
• Canada
25 Sep 08
Every little bit does help even just washing off the table :) Thank you for your response .
3 people like this
@GemmaR (8520)
25 Sep 08
I don't agree with guests having to help with the meal if you have invited them over, but I think that if you have invited them over for a party or something, they should be willing to help you clean up in the morning, especially if there are lots of cans lying around. You wouldn't leave someones house in a state after a party, so I don't think they should either.
3 people like this
• Canada
25 Sep 08
Very true :) Thank you for your response .
2 people like this
• China
27 Sep 08
I agree with you. but i think there is a question need to be clarified. that whether you welcome a guest to help you clean up or not depends on the relationship between you all. someone is a close friend of you but some just has weak relationship with you. for exmaple, someone who is a friend of your friend, but for some reason, he will stay at your home for some time. I think it is a liitle uncomfortalbe or embarrassment that a unknown person appears in your family and help you to do the housework.
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I don't expect it but everyone who visits usually does help out. It's just common courtesy. I always help out as my own parents always did. If they didn't do it, I would not demand it.
3 people like this
• Canada
25 Sep 08
I feel for myself it is common courtesy to offer to help at least :) Thank you for your response .
2 people like this
@mhrmasum (678)
• Bangladesh
25 Sep 08
I think guest is always guest. If they help me or not, if i have a good unerrtanding with them then they can do this or not. But i dont mind if they help me or not.
3 people like this
• Canada
25 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
2 people like this
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
25 Sep 08
I would like to make my guests feel welcome to my house. So I try to make everything for them especially if it is a short stay. However if they offer some kind of help I won't refuse, especially if they are having a long stay.
3 people like this
• Canada
25 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
2 people like this
@sanjo0679 (225)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I feel it is common courtesy to help out if you're a guest in someone's home. Why should they be expected to do everything they normally do plus more. I also feel that helping after dinner is also the polite thing to do. Often there are those that would rather do it all themselves but at least have the courtesy to offer your assistance.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@shamzy18 (2319)
26 Sep 08
personally if i was a guest then yeah i would helpwhere it was needed. Depends on how long a guest is staying too if a long time then they should be comfortable and help out too. Though sometimes when guests come you want to do eveything and not let them do anything.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
• United States
26 Sep 08
i think that they should atleast make their bed and keep their room or space clean, the dishes or cooking that is not their responsibility as a guest. just ya kno keep their clothes of the bathroom floor and make the bed is good enough.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@elitess (5071)
• Ipswich, England
26 Sep 08
Hi there. Of course i expect a guest to help a bit if they stay on the long term (not just a day). I am not a hotel, nor do i own one, so yes, they must help as well. Making their own bed in the morning, at least putting some water in the unclean dishes (if they don't want / like to wash them) and perhaps some other stuff.
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@tess1960 (2386)
• United States
26 Sep 08
A guest should pick up after themselves such as make the bed, tidy the bathroom after themselves, off to help with meal preparations and clean-up. I guess it would depend on the situation. If the guest is elderly then minimal help would be expected if any. IF the guest is capable of helping then I would expect it or atleast an offer of help and it would be my choice to acce[t or decline the offer. A super only guest should not be asked to help clean up after the meal. Dishes should be stacked in the kitchen and can wait until after the guest is gone. Those are my thoughts on the subject.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@savypat (20244)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I usually give them a lot of space, When I was first married my husband's cousins came to visit. I was working, and the only place we had to bed them was in the livingroom on the sofa. These people did nothing, they expected to have everything handed to them, I was astounded and mad. They didn't even pick up their towels. I couldn't wait to get rid of them. Well after they left I took a long look at my response and made some changes. Now many years later, when people come, I just take it as it comes, I can always clean up after and if they don't get meals or other services that they expect, well, they don't need to come back, I'm not going to get mad.
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@ladym33 (10990)
• United States
26 Sep 08
If someone just comes over for supper I think it would be rude to ask a guest to help you clean up or even expect them to offer. Most people out of sure politeness will offer to help clean up, but if they don't it is OK because they are your guest. Unless of course that person frequently dines at your house, then that is different. As for a guest who is staying with you they should keep the area that they are staying in tidy, and they should also clean up after themselves. They don't have to help clean other areas of the home, but should at least carry their own dishes to the sink, and do something nice for the family that is letting them stay such as take them out for dinner one night or buy the groceries and cook dinner one night. Something to show their appreciation for the hospitality. They should also try very hard not to try and create any extra work for their hosts.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@queenlove (495)
• United States
26 Sep 08
When I was little, my grandmother would invite everyone over for dinner. Her theory was...if she cooked, everyone else had to do the dishes. I am not sure where this falls in the code of ethics of having guests, but I just thought I would mention it. As for me, if I have a guest, I will pick up after them to a certain extent. However, if they are being ridiculous about it and just making a mess and leaving it, I will probably say something along the lines of "Do I look like Alice from the Brady Bunch to you? Am I Florence from the Jeffersons?" ...in a joking manner of course, then they will get the hint without any hard feelings. More than likely though, if your guest sees you doing dishes they ate off of, or making a bed that they slept on ect. They offer to help. Unless they just don't care.
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I wouldn't expect a house guest to help out with the house while the are visiting. there is a thing called self respect, so I would hope they had enough self respect to pick up and clean up after themselves. I would have the same household load of chores to do whether they were visiting or not. But again, I would hope that they clean up after themselves. If they offered to do something that did not involve their own mess, I would kindly thank them for offering, but would do it myself. If they wanted to prepare a meal I would allow it, but if I am cooking, I would rather do the whole meal myself.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@punkix (658)
• Philippines
26 Sep 08
it should not be expected rather it shuold be done automatically. if you are staying at a friend's or relative's, you should help out to clean and tidy things up. its a sign of courtesy and respect to the owners of the house. even if you know they will not allow you, the initiative or thought would be nice so they will even enjoy you being around the house. :) helping out is always good :)
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
26 Sep 08
It depends. I would never expect a dinner guest to help with dishes but I would not stop them if they offered to help serve drinks or something like that. I rarely wash up while I am looking after guests so it is unlikely anyone would help with the dishes. Some do, some don't. I feel that if they are my guest for dinner then it is my job to take care of them. I feel that guests are not obligated to help with anything but if they are staying for a week or two then I think they should make their own bed in the morning and help with the dishes. I would never demand they help but I would expect them to offer. If the person is a long term guest, as in a month or longer, then they sort of stop being a guest and become a house resident. In that case I would expect them to help with the dishes and maybe help around the house. It really depends how long the person is staying for.
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18159)
• United States
26 Sep 08
They should want to help out of respect they have for you. When I am a guest in someones home I help out as much as I can. I don't expect that of my guest but it wouldn't hurt to have them aleast offer out of respect to help even if you will turn them down anyhow. My husband has to have something a certain way and so I don't usually take the offer for help because I wouldn't want to offend them if they seen me redoing it later, I know it would hurt my feeling it that happened to me. I do think that if a kid makes a huge mess then they should help you clean it.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4064)
• United States
25 Sep 08
If I have guests over I usually do everything and make them feel at home. I don't expect them to help cooking or doing dishes and I don't expect them to clean up, etc. But I usually offer to help if I am at someone else's house. I think it is good manners to do so. [b] Have a great day and happy myLotting!!![/b]
• Canada
26 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this