What to do?
By MsTickle
@MsTickle (25180)
Australia
October 9, 2008 10:20am CST
I was talking to my neighbour today. I had baked a cake for her and delivered it and we were chatting in her front yard. My cat, Banjo, was there as he usually follows me. He is often over there and she encourages him and has him inside and gives him pats and so on. Banjo appears to really like her but he is like that with most everyone. While we were talking, my neighour began to yell at Banjo who was digging and squatting in one of her rose beds. She tends her flower beds daily and I was mortified but she smacked Banjo and shoved him away and patted down the hole he'd dug. she complained that she'd "caught her culprit red handed" and said she'd wondered who'd been digging in her garden. As we chatted, I spied Banjo in another bed, I was closer to him and he was doing his business and I was not about to stop him. I apologised and said I would not interrupt him and I did not believe in hitting animals. She does and she belts the daylights out of her beautiful golden retriever if she's done something wrong...even if it's much later. The poor dog has no idea and I've told her that but she insists that the dog knows what it's done and has to be taught a lesson.
It's really hard because other than that, I like this lady and we get along really well. I'm sure she takes a dim view of me not hitting my animals when they misbehave but I don't believe in it at all. I give Pickles a smack on the rump but he's tough and it doesn't have any effect anyway...even when he butts me with his horns I wrestle with him until he stops...I don't think belting him would teach him anything except to make him aggressive.
What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? I don't think Banjo was hurt...he was probably more concerned with doing his business but I don't think she should hit my pet. Or hers either.
8 people like this
31 responses
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I do not believe in hitting my pets so if a stranger was to hit my pet there would be hell to pay. In your situation I would have taken my pet, the cake and left before I hit her with the cake.
4 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
9 Oct 08
Yes, you're right, I should have picked Banjo up and left straight away. That would have been the best thing to do. As for getting high handed with my neighbour...we have to live next door to each other and apart from the treatment of animals, we have lots in common and get along great.
3 people like this
@jonesy123 (3948)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Question: why doesn't your cat have a litterbox? Cats are very peculiar and usually go to the same place to do their business. Quite frankly, it shouldn't be the neighbors yard. Obviously, your cat needs some behavior training. Hitting is not the answer but there are other methods.
4 people like this
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
30 Oct 08
My cat is an outdoorsy cat too.. but will go in the litterbox some of the time.. My biggest hassle is when I catch him trying to go in the horseshoe pits, but heaven's to betsy it used to be the kid's sand box! (Whwn we had one.) Chasing one's cat around the neighborhood to see where he does his business is thankfully not often expected! As they do bury their job when they're done.. I have a hard time thinking they would actually dig up a flowerbed very much however.. So again, thankfully, no need to chase after them with a potty bag..
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
9 Oct 08
First of all if you live in an area close enough to have neighbors, then maybe your cat shouldn't have free reign around the neighborhood. Even if it's had it's shots updated and flea protection, been spayed, etc, etc, it could still get hit by a vehicle or contact rabies from squirrels or other animals. While hitting an animal is never good, neither is is good neighborhood relations to let ones animal claw up somebodys flower bed, etc. May I suggest that the neighbor sprinkle her area around her plants with regular old black pepper...the kind we all have on our tables. I've had great success with it keeping my cats off counters, Christmas trees in the house, and other things I didn't want them to get into. Yes, they sneeze, but after a couple of times they learn to stay away from whatever. I would never allow my pet to go to the neighbors because it's my responsibility to keep them where they belong. IE: if you don't want your cat getting swatted, then keep it out of your neighbors yard and flower beds. I don't agree with hitting animals, but then I don't agree with letting an animal destroy others property either. Just my opinion lol.
3 people like this
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I use probably a good shake or two on each leaf. I know it sounds like a hassle, but it's really not hard. I usually put the pepper in a salt shaker when I do this because it lets a little more out (and I don't have to shake so vigorously lol) I just do the lower branches, or leaves, which is at the height of the cat. No need to do the whole plant, just at their level, and maybe a little below. I've had great success with this over the years. Yes, Gerty's right, if it rains then some needs to be re-applied. Most of my kitties always stopped doing the behaviour after a couple times of inhaling it. My problem was always with the inside houseplants and the Christmas tree. This even works with the little puppy my daughter's training. Works good and it's cheap!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157918)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Either pepper needs to be reapplied after a good soaking. I wonder if there is a pepper oil you can get? I was always told red pepper, but I am sure good black pepper would help too. My only disadvantage is that I have a cat that loves mexican food, salsa and beans.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I always used a newspaper to scare them enough that they didnt do it any more. also you can use a pray bottle to train them not to do things they are surpose too.
TEll the woman that not to hit you cats but to use a spray bottle and soon he will stop going in her flower bed.
I also put a jug of water out where I dont want the animals to be.
3 people like this
@trenea7 (86)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I think I've read that coffee grounds will keep cats out of your garden as they don't like the smell.
That being said, we have several neighborhood cats that just roam free and it aggravates us to no end when they poop in our yard or walk up and down the fence line tormenting our dog. (We had to put an electric wire up to keep him from jumping the fence to chase them down.) If you live in a neighborhood, it is really irresponsible of you to have cats that just roam free. You're forcing your neighbors to deal with your cat and that's not fair. Many people are not animal lovers so you can't expect them to treat an unwanted cat in their yard in as nice a manner as the owner!
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Hitting ones pet is not a thing I condone.
But discipline is mandatory.
This can be down with light taps on their noses etc.
But as far as her hitting your pet, that is wropng even in her own yard I feel.
What she does to her pets is her business.
But when she hit yours I feel shw stepped way over the line.
I would keep Banjo from her yard as much as possible.
Just my thoughts.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
@Chevee (5905)
• United States
9 Oct 08
If she is a true friend I think you should have told her how you felt about what she did, if you don't hit your pet I don't think anyone else should, Banjo isn't used to people hitting on him and he didn't understand. Animals can be trained so train Banjo not to do this and try to keep him away from her property, because if she did this in front of you she is doing it often.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
28 Mar 09
I don't believe in hitting a animal with a hand in no way or a belt now a thin newspaper is fine. it gets their attention but doesn't hurt them. It is a big outside world. They could have been more then just your ct digging if they are other cats about. I agree with you about her and how she shouldn't hit her dog..especially after the fact...I mean dogs are smart as heck but how they supposed to know what they are being punished for if she whips the dog a week later? talk baout a confused dog. I guess putting a large litter box outside would be silly so I guess I would have gotten a pooper scooper and cleared away the mess is all that could be done.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
29 Mar 09
Ahhhh...I remember that discussion not to long ago..Okay I understand now more clearly..Yeah I would be mad also..and not to happy..If that is the case..I would be like that also..she needs to treat animals better just feel sorry for the dog..he must be getting the bad end of her temper nowadays.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
28 Mar 09
I was not about to do anything once she had hit my cat. Banjo is tough and it didn't worry him, but it really worried me and I became a bit wary of this lady. Long story short, she once captured Banjo and stuck him in a cage, I won't go into the details. She has also threatened to kill Banjo. I'm now keeping Banjo indoors but he desperately still wants to go out at times even after nearly 7 weeks. I have as little to do with the woman as possible. She is a horrible person and now that she has shown her true colours, I despise her.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
9 Oct 08
i don't like to hit animals and i even dislike it when other people do it to my pet... animals are also living things and created by God... they have feelings and know when they are being smacked... i think you have to tell your neighbour frankly about this and if she doesn't agree with you, then don't bring your cat to her house again next time you go to her house... keep it in your house... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157918)
• United States
9 Oct 08
I would buy her some red pepper flakes to sprinkle around her roses as it keeps the animals and some bugs away. I would encourage her to do this regularly. It evidently does not affect how Banjo feels about her, as he goes over there, even though she smacks him. I do not hit my cats, either, and hitting an aggressive animal will only make it worse. Anyway, that is what I would do, give her a natural repellant.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Oh wow MsTickle...this is SO wrong. I mean it's one thing if the woman decides to discipline and hit her own dog (which I don't approve of either)...but it's HER dog...but to openly hit your cat is wrong, wrong, wrong. It would be like the equivalent say if you had a child, and your child misbehaved and your friend decided to hit your child...a person could then actually sue the other person for assault. And you're right for her to hit the dog as discipline long after the "offense" is wrong...it confuses the animal. This may sound mean but I hope her dog takes a bite out of her one day..LOL
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
I agree with you Pye...agression begets agression and I wish Beauty would bite her too but I hope she doesn't for fear of what my neighbour would do to her in retaliation. I've always had female stay at home cats. I was told that my boy Banjo would stay home and get fat once he was de-sexed but that hasn't been the case.
@ellie333 (21016)
•
9 Oct 08
Hi MsTickle, You say you like her and get on with her other than how she treats animals, but to me anyone that treats animals this unkindly can't be that good a person. You are lovely baking her a cake and yes cats in treasured flower beds can be a nuisance but I would suggest she has a water spray bottle to spray at Banjo to deter him and that you would like her not to hit him again. Cats sh*t FACT and they have to go somewhere and she encourages him in to her home so what does she expect. You can't really say too much re her dog, her in UK you could report to RSPCA but do you really want to lose her friendship over it all. Difficult one but I would definitely suggest the water spray bottle for her future methods of discipline towards YOUR cat. Huggles. Ellie :D
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
9 Oct 08
Hi Ellie. I have no idea why people behave that way but here in the country, I've found many people think it's quite okay to treat their animals severely. She would have sprayed Banjo with the hose but it was a knee jerk reaction. I'll give her a spray bottle of water and ask her to discourage Banjo when he visits and reiterate my feelings about not hitting animals and hope things are ok. Thanks...
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
9 Oct 08
This is a great idea - and another suggestion to add to this is lemon juice. Cats HATE citrus scents. Ever peel an orange around one? LOL But yes, I use a spray bottle here often with all of my cats, inside and out. And it works wonders.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 08
hi ms tickle I think in view of the nieghbors tendency to hit animals I would not let Banjo follow you into her yard.I can see her point about her garden but I thinkits awful of her to hit your cat or her dog. I too dont think that Banjo should be doing his business in her garden yuck, she has to work in that soil and who wants to touch cat feces, yuck. So just keep Banjo at home next time.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
I wish I could keep Banjo at home Hatley. He follows me often, appearing from nowhere. I felt bad about Banj using her garden as a toilet but I was a bit embarrassed to be honest. I should have grabbed him and left but I didn't think quickly enough. I'm such a coward. 
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
10 Oct 08
Banjo was wrong to have done his stuff in your neighbors garden and she was wrong in her reaction to be sure. I see both sides here. Pets are no different than children...we are their parents and we are responsible to teach them right from wrong. Saying you can not control your cat is equivalent to saying that you can't control your chld. I'm sorry but it is your responsiblity here. What if you had a dog that bit people? Would you say ....Oh well, I can't control him? Your cat is probably doing this in other neighbors gardens without you realizing. Do you know what sort of diseases can be picked up from animal feces? I have a stepson that is blind in one eye because of contact in the dirt from this sort of thing when he was just 4 yrs old. Luckily the doctor caught it in time or it would have traveled to his brain!! Bottom Line....you are responsible for your pet and rather than hold this against your neighbor, do your pet and your friendship with your neighbor a favor and control him.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
Poor Banjo! I hope he's sensible and doesn't stray over to this lady's garden when you're not with him as back-up. I don't believe in hitting animals either - a small smack on the rump certainly suffices, and sometimes a growling noise is enough to show you're not happy with certain behaviour. I don't think this woman had any right to hit your pet - it's incredible she had the gall to do it in front of you!
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
I think that's what she is meaning to do...it was more a whack on the rump than a smack...she didn't send him flying or anything. She would say she had every right as it's her yard and her garden but she has encouraged Banjo to be there. Some of these people from the bush think nothing of people getting drunk and knocking each other senseless. It's a mind set. They grew up rough and they live rough. They have very little education and can barely read and write. They have their own set of rules and they are always right. I have a more gentle nature and find it difficult to tolerate some of the abject cruelty I have seen since I moved here. It's away of life for some of these people. Lots of them hunt wild pigs, goats and roos and they hunt with rifles and dogs. The dogs are trained to be savage and brutal to their prey. They are not fed regularly so when they go to hunt they are hungry.
This is the sort of thinking and way of life I'm up against. It's not always this extreme but it is a sort of culture of the area where I live.
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
I know exactly the type of people you are referring to, MsTickle. I notice you're also in NSW ... there are some wild folk out in them thar hills - hahaha! Seriously though, there is a mindset where justice is rough and people seem to act first before they think. It can be quite a shock - when my parents first came here from England, they were wide-eyed with astonishment for much of the time. They were used to pets being part of the family and living indoors - definitely not being chained to kennels in yards. I hope your neighbour is able to understand the way you'd like your pets treated - maybe your gentle treatment will rub off on her!
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
10 Oct 08
I can see both sides of this issue. First of all, with this woman 'belting the daylights' out of her pet, why on earth do you want your cat over there? This woman may be a friend to you, but she doens't sound like a friend to animals. What does she do when she doesn't think anyone is watching?
The second issue is the garden. Some gardens, especially roses are very expense to maintain. Many plants are sensitive, and it can kill them to have animals routinely use the area as a litter box. Since it is her yard, and her garden, why are you bringing your cat over to do that? If you cat damages or kills plants, are you willing to replace them, both in cost and labor?
Now, your neighbor can minimize animals using her garden, there are products she can buy that repel them. For the love of your cat, I would encourage you to leave him home when visiting this neighbor. Why risk broken bones, or worse?
I have a funny story about this issue. When I was a teenager, my dad had a few plants in the ground, calling it a garden, which my cats routinely 'used'. My dad knew and really didn't care. A neighbor came over and lectured my dad for a half hour about OUR cats, using OUR garden! My dad, bless his soul, listened politely. When the neighbor was finally through, my dad thanked & assured the him that he would speak to the cats about it directly after dinner. I thought the neighbor was going to have a coronary....lol.
Thanks for joining in our discussion...from Banjo, Lucy, Pickles, Tulip and Tickle.
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
10 Oct 08
I would have politely excused myself, taken my pet and promptly left. I would not have tolerated the neighbor hitting my pet. I don't think I would have confronted her on the issue. I just would get me and my pet away from her.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
I realise now royal that that is exactly what I should have done but I'm not a confrontational person or very assertive for that matter. It's a terrible weakness I have that I cannot think quickly enough to protect my family. Many of the responders have said that I am at fault and I agree with them but I cannot condone what she did either.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Well i would never hit my animals with a belt for sure..I have 2 cats and a small dog and i really love them but i have popped them before when they were in danger or doing something really wrong ,which isn't very often..I took a very small stick,not much bigger than a tooth pick & touched my dog on the hinney because he was in the street...I did it once because he was eating poop from the litter box,other than that i do not hit my pets...My dog gets scared of a small stick so no need to hit just touch her or show it to her...I don't believe in hitting animals but sometimes they do need to be corrected but not abused..
1 person likes this
@msmargo (361)
• United States
28 Mar 09
Wow. My grandmother was in a situation simular to this with her longtime neighbor. NMy grandmother took in stray cats. They used to go into her neighbor's yard and do what Banjo did. Her neighbor had a beautiful garden. I don't think she did anything to them (they were feral and skittish). My grandmother and her neighbor didn't speak for a long time over this. I did a bunch of research to figure out what the neighbor could put in her yard to ward off the cats. I forget what it wss, and I don't think she ever did anything. Research what will repel cats and let your neighbor know. I think cayenne pepper was one thing. Sprinkle it around the base of the plants. Good luck. I agree with you about punishing animals.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
10 Oct 08
Well she should not be hitting a poor defenceless animal for a start that is abuse surely? I would not be happy about seeing her doing that at all. I remember that when I lived in my old house, my next door neighbour was also a friend. She had a dog, it was a beautiful dog, I found out that she was locking the dog in the outside shed overnight because she did not want it in the house. Now if the shed had been big and well vented then it would have been OK, but the shed was tiny and the dog was big and it had no windows and no way of letting light in. It broke my heart when I found out, then I realised that not only was she putting it in there at night, but it was also being left in there for most of the day too as she just kept forgetting about it. In the end I reported her, because friend or not, I could not stand by and see this happen and the dog was getting painfully thin. As a result the friendship ended, but I could not stay friends with someone who could treat something so bad. I would certainly not tolerate your neighbour hitting my pet either, I would not like to think what she might do if you were not looking.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Oct 08
I don't think she hides anything. She is so convinced that she is right about everything that she's open and honest about hitting animals..."giving the a good hiding or a belting".
I've not been over there since it happened and Banjo has mostly been in the house or the front yard or the back yard.
It's sad about the dog. I hate confining animals. I realise I'm going to have to control Banjo and make him stay home...I've already started and it's going to be hard for both of us.
@tessah (6617)
• United States
10 Oct 08
meh keep him confined for a short time.. itll (hopefully)help him change his patterns of behaviors, and he will stop going over there. dont think of it like yer punishing him for something he didnt do.. but more that yer keeping him safe, which you are. if were me.. id be waiting for the woman to plant her butt on her toilet.. then running in and smacking her around yellin "how YOU like it?!" 
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
10 Oct 08
HI Ms Tickle! I am very disturbed by what you are saying
about your neighbor. I also do not believe in hitting my
pets for any reason! No matter what they do I do not hit
them. I am very concerned by the fact that she hits her
poor dog and I don't think that the dog does understand
and neither does she understand that she could really
do serious damage to him. She definitely has no right to
hit your pet whatsoever! I am more concerned about her dog.
I kind of wish you could rescue the dog and take it away
from her before she causes him serious injury. I know you
said that you like her, but how can you stand by and see
her hitting a poor defenseless animal who doesn't understand
why they are getting hit and still be a friend to her. I'm
sorry animal abuse is something that I can not condone or
wouldn't accept no matter how much I liked the person.
There is no excuse for that type of abuse. I would have
taken the cake and smashed it into her face and walked
away! I'd watch your cat from now on and make sure he
didn't get anywhere near her!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
10 Oct 08
It doesn't happen often, thank goodness. I will continue to berate her for mistreating her dog. She says it doesn't hurt her because she smacks her on her (admittedly, very woolly) rump. She says it just scares her. Even so, I still think it's mean and horrible. The more I think about it, I'm thinking that what you said is correct. I really cannot be friends with a person who does this. It's really worrying me.
