How do you argue? What is your argument style..
By dorothy09
@dorothy09 (1520)
Philippines
October 20, 2008 2:54am CST
I have read this in our Local Newspaper and just would like
to share this to you guys..
How do you handle arguments?
Can yourself in some of the following items below:
1.Are you the peacemaker?
-you don't like arguments and sort things out as soon as possible.
2.Are you the defensive attacker?
-You believe that the faster you act, the better.You
3.Are you the subtle striker?
-You're tactical and persistent in making your feelings known.
you prefer to wait for your partner to notice something's wrong.
use silence...
4.Are you the full on foe?
-you've probably had to fight for your rights all youf life and will always give
as good as you get.
5.Are you the shock-absorber?
-you are afraid of arguments and will do anything to avoid getting into one.
6.Are you the negotiator?
- You genuinely want to find a peaceful solution to problems without anyone getting hurt.
I cannot recognize myself with those listed above..because I can relate myself to all of this categories..
But usually I am a negotiator when I deal with my friends, I am a peace maker if I deal with my family, but I am subtle striker and full on foe when I deal with my boyfriends..sounds unfair..LOL
well it really depends sometimes on my mood..
How about you fellow my lotters??
1 person likes this
12 responses
@kedves (728)
•
20 Oct 08
well i have three styles .. if its a woman or a child i do not argue :)
otheriwse I am calm and i take my time and do not shout. trust me it saves your energy and it annoys the hell out of people that you do not react and mostly it will win any argument because you can say what you feel or think and it is acceptable and understandable and not lost in gibberish screams..
however, there are times if it is a man you argue with that his reaction will cause me to react differently and as such i will lash out especially if my kids are there and there is a danger they may get hurt but i hnormally have to be pushed beyond acceptance for me to lose my control normally but i am human and it does occur occasionally.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
Hello there kedves.
Its so good that you don't argue with a child and woman..
I am a woman and I believe we deserve to be respected as much as possible during arguments.
We woman are so expressive we talk much because we would like our partner to really understand us much and know our side.
I strongly agree with you also that we are just human and sometimes we cannot control ourselves especially on tough situations..
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
21 Oct 08
Hey dorothy, I, like you can be a little of all of these
depending on who I am fighting with. I would prefer
not to have to fight, but if I do I like to do it and
get it over with as fast as possible. I will give as
good as I get and I really can give it good! I am the
type of person who will try to keep the peace if I can.
But, don't push me too far because then I will snap and
if pushed I will fight! I try to be fair because I'd
rather not fight if at all possible. I would prefer to
work things out rather than argue. But, I will also defend
myself. So as you said, I am kind of a mix of all those
things. I would much rather settle things peacefully,
but if that won't work then I will not hesitate to fight!
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
Hi Opal, I am a fighter also but I still listen to the side of my partner..
But If I really know I am on the right side, and if you will
not listen to me while I am talking..
I will not really stop arguing with you, not until you listen to me..
:)
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
20 Oct 08
In my relationship with my husband I'm more of a peacemaker and negotiator because we get along well 99% of the time and, when there is a problem, it's usually due to a misunderstanding. In work related arguments I am probably more of a combination of a full on foe and negotiator, mainly because I have always felt that I had to prove myself more than a man does because of the field I am in.
@Michaelburke (147)
• Ireland
20 Oct 08
in all my relationships, family, friends and my girlfriend
i argue in different ways as i am sure most of us do
usually i am less subtle with my family than i am with my friens or with my girlfriend
what i mean is - i am more forcefull with my opinion with my family 'cause i have a stronger bond with them and so they can take it
my friends need more of a long term tactful aproach - success with frriends in a dispute comes from taking their point of view and finding holes in their arguement
because a tough aproach can cause a rift in the friendship
now with a girlfriend arguements can be very tricky
she is always right thats just an un written law so to make a point it means working within this "law" victory here will only come small installments 'cause you cannot tell she is wrong or this will re ignite the dispute
succes here means finding a way to change her mind to your opinion, that way everyone is kept happy
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
20 Oct 08
I can be pretty argumentative when I think I'm in the right, so usually I just jump straight in and offend everyone! As I get older, I seem to be braver too - so I don't mind sticking up for myself, or others, when necessary. I'll certainly give as good as I get, and even though I don't like road rage (and don't suffer from it myself), if someone flips the bird at me I'll get right into it. And yes, it certainly does depend on my mood. There are certain times when I'd kill at 20 paces!
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
I am argumentative also and If I am in the right side and I know I am right, I won't
stop explaining and arguing until you are do not understand my side.
But I am a negotiator I know I am strong but still I listen to other side
no matter what..
Thanks for the response
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
20 Oct 08
Hi dorothy09,
I am exactly like you, but when I have an argument with my husband I a full on foe and firht for my rights because most timeshe is wrong about most things, then in the end I will turn it round that it was his idea in the first place and he will get confuse and ask what iwas all the argument all about, you should listen to me in the first place AH!!! see wha I mean?
Tamara
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
Hi tamara thank you for the response.
But I have to admit I have mood swings also..
If problem and issue exist over and over with my partner..
sometimes I fail to listen do all the talking..
That is if I am really on the bad mood..
But for my family I am a 100% peacemaker and negotiator
Cheers!!
@crazydaisy (3896)
• Canada
20 Oct 08
I am the same as what you are I try to keep the piece make sure no fighting
starts up which I feel is what kids do not adults but I know they never grow up
cd
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
Hi Crazy Daisy,
I really do not argue with someone if there are kids around..
I am argumentative if I know I am right..But if I see kids are around
in the place I just listen and say nothing, I would ask
the one I argue with that we will find a place to discuss the issue..
Have a nice day daisy...
@nannacroc (4049)
•
20 Oct 08
I can recognise myself in all but no. 2 is reserved for my husband after more than 30 years he still hasn't worked out that saying 'nothing' when he askes what's wrong means he's upset me.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
Hi , but its nice to hear you are married for 30 years..WOW...
My partner also when he is upset with me he says nothing..
Thanks for the response
@GardenGerty (169439)
• United States
24 Oct 08
I tend to want to make peace and I like to be a negotiator, and help people find the right answer for all involved. Sometimes I am one way, and sometimes another, I guess.
@tryxiness (4544)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
I guess I am a little subtle striker because I usually look for time when to air out my thoughts and I strongly believe that for an issue to die I have to be heard or noticed. I am also the negotiator because I do not want to end in a way that is hurting for both of us. I see to it we reach a point where we know we will meet.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
Hi tyrx, in arguments patience is very important and listen to each others side is a must.
We have to think no matter the situation might be, we really have to know the side of our partner.
Cheers
@littleowl (7157)
•
21 Oct 08
Well. guess I must be the peacemaker in most situations even if I am right about something..I just hate arguments they are a waste of space time and energy, they bring too much negativity into your life and can make it unbearable...so I just try to deep the peace, though there are time once in a blue moon, I do lose my temper then I think I would be the full on foe LOL..littleol
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
21 Oct 08
Subtle Striker. You need to win any argument with a reason, or else it wont be called an argument. So instead of just shouting and blabbering all the time, I just find a good reason to counter what my opponent is saying. This really helps because once you hit with reason, they have no choice but to back down or find a counter reason to which you have to find a reason.
Sometimes a negotiator too, but that happens very rarely.
bourne
@msedge (4011)
• United States
2 Feb 09
I am partially a subtle striker.But sometimes i would always tell and shows that i am upset of something and express the reason why.I couldn't keep my emotion or else i would be having a heart attack.I would really express the anger i have to relieve myself from hurting inside.But if its just a small thing to argue and doesn't make any sense i will just keep quiet and ignore everything.
