An unexpected bond has developed between me and my daughter....
By gemini_rose
@gemini_rose (16264)
January 19, 2009 8:36am CST
I had wanted a little girl for so long, but things happening during my pregnancy and after my pregnancy meant that it ended up being really hard to bond with my newborn daughter. As she became a little older she became a daddys girl and when he was at home would want nothing to do with me, this was not a problem as I knew that this happened with little girls.
However, recently the balance seems to have shifted and the last few months have seen my daughter become my shadow, we do everything together. I am discovering that she has the most adorable personality and is so funny and we just have a blast together, and she is only 3 ha ha!! I am pretty surprised by this bond that has developed but love it all the same.
Has anyone else ever bonded with someone that they never expected to bond with and ended up with a really close relationship?
Or has anyone had trouble bonding with a child in the way they feel that they should?
3 people like this
11 responses
@chrislotz (8136)
• Canada
19 Jan 09
And she will be even more fun when she gets older. I raised my kids pretty much by
myself and so I never had any real time to sit with my kids and get to know their
personalities until they were older. I moved to another city with my new husband, when
my youngest was 18 years old. She didn't move with us, her choice, and instead moved in
with her dad. So I never lived with her for the last 5 years till now. Now she is 26
years old and I am 51 and we share an apartment and now I am getting to know her, as
an adult and find she has some really good traites but she also has a lot of bad ones
too. The worst is her temper and inpatience. But she is funny as hell, too.
Alrighty then, talk to you later my friend,
Have a good mylotting day, Chris 
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
19 Jan 09
I hope so I dont have a close bond with my mum and I want my daughter and I to be closer. If I had been closer to my mum things would have been different, but time will tell I guess with my daughter!! It is nice that you are spending time with your daughter, I hope that you get on well together and become real close!!
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
19 Jan 09
Well I was blessed with 2 little girls also (was hopping for a son ) but each of my daughters have thier own personalities my youngest is 14 so even though we are close she wants me to back off little an my oldest is going to be 16 fri an I thought around 16 they pull away an don't want much to do with you but she tells me here dreams an plans an bout her boyfriends an both my girls arew not ashame to give thier mom a kiss goodbye before getting on the school bus if thier friends don't like it as they would say don't look so I think i did good woth my girls just need to figure out how to get the 14 year old to start helping around the house without the agrueing I am dreaming right thats not going to happen
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
19 Jan 09
I am not sure what my little girl will be like when she is older, hopefully I can maintain this bond, it would be nice to think we can stay close as she grows.
@dorypanda (1601)
•
20 Jan 09
I had post-natal depression after I had my son, I just went through the motions of being a Mum, I fed him, clothed him, changed him, bathed him, but that was all I could do to start with, but after a couple of years, I seemed to come out of the depressive state and bonded with him better than I've ever bonded with anyone. We are very close to each other, he's now nearly 16 and still will give me a hug every morning before he goes to school.
@dorypanda (1601)
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22 Jan 09
I do hope you will get that bond with your son soon and don't worry, 'the big I am' stage shouldn't last long, but in my experience, when he starts at senior school, it might come back again! I hope all works out for you.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jan 09
After the birth of all my children I have suffered with some level of post natal depression, the worst was with my second son so I know the feelings you are describing there and we do not have that strong bond yet and he is 8 I think it will come as he gets older, at the moment he is at the big I am stage!!!
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
21 Jan 09
Well, I was never able to carry any child full term, so I never had any of my own, but I do have a God daughter that was very close to me while growing up and thinks of me even to this day still like a Mom. Unfortunately her and her Mom had some rough times while she was growing up and she even moved away and until I moved away I was one she always turned too. Her and I are still very close even yet today and I wouldn't trade her for the world.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jan 09
I am sorry to hear that, I often forget when I set these discussions about children that some people do not get to share in my joy. But how lovely that you have your god daughter it is really sweet.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
20 Jan 09
unfortunately, my husband had mental problems, and my son ended up with some issues as well, we never really bonded, and he is the only child I ever had, he still lives with me and he is 32 years old now.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jan 09
That is a real shame, I hope that I can have good bonds with them all but I guess time will tell.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
20 Jan 09
LOL. I wish I could bond with my daughter. She will be 17 years old next month. She used to be a daddy's girl too but now she pretty much is to herself. Her real father is not a part of her life but my husband has been a daddy to her since she was 9 months old. I think she is just boy crazy right now and she does not have time for her parents even though we try to set time aside for it. I hope we have a relationship one day too. She just has not given it a chance yet. We have had rough times with her over the years but that got better so we will have to wait and se.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jan 09
I have never really bonded with my mum so it was a surprise to me to have this level of bonding with my daughter. I hope that I can continue to strengthen it as she grows but only time will tell. At 17 I was boy mad too, I had no time for anyone except myself!!
@saivenkaat802003 (4823)
• India
20 Jan 09
Its natural feeling.. Only now the kid has started understanding the love of the Dad and Mom.. and the little one is more inclined to you..as you full fill her daily needs of her..
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
20 Jan 09
I think that is great, a little 3 year old shadow is fantastic.. My niece has a little 8-yr old daughter who has bonded really strongly with me and I love her to pieces.. She hangs on to every word when we are together and she "accidentally" calls me Mom, most of the time.. We helped paint my mothers house once and Andrea was only about 6 at the time, but she decided that we were going to open a business and be the "Hot painter girls", where that came from, I do not know, but I agreed with her because she is my little love..
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jan 09
It is really nice to have the bond, I just hope it continues as she grows.
@celticeagle (189874)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Jan 09
It either happens or it doesn't. It is something very special. I haven't had a problem with bonding with any of my kids or grandkids. Be thankful and happy with it. Take pictures and enjoy.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
19 Jan 09
That sounds really nice that you have found a bond with your daughter. Sometimes it doesn't happen right away. Some things do not happen as naturally as you would expect them to.
I have a five year old son. I didn't bond with him straight away when he was a new born and it kind of bothered me at first. Now we are as close as ever. A bond between a mother in child is very special and can't be taken away.@gemini_rose (16264)
•
19 Jan 09
No it was a hard time I was having when she was born, now we are making up for it!!
@morningstar369 (495)
• United States
20 Jan 09
Your story is wonderful!! I bonded with my first son almost 40 years ago while he was still in the womb. We used to play tapping games. He was my litle hippy baby and had hair that looked like spun gold. His eyes were china blue and people would stop me and ask if they could just look at him. My second son was exactly the opposit. He wouldn't play the taapping gmes but would give me a sharp elbow when I tried to play with him. So I just patted him from timew to time. When he was born he cried all the time. Nothing wrong with him just cried. He and I never really bonded to this day and he turns 29 this year. I have on the other hand bonded with people online and offline that I would never have thought a bonding would happen with. So you just never know and it would be great to just stay open to the possibilities.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jan 09
It is funny how each child is different in how they bond with parents, I have good bonds with all my children except the second child. He was all his dad when he was little and it has been hard for me to get real close to him.
