to be or not to be.... friends?

Weird? You don't seem weird to me. Maybe that's because I'm weird? I'm just kidding I tend to like people too until they give me a reason not to - otherwise known as I don't judge someone harshly unless they judge me harshly for no reason.... I don't push or shove first... I don't poke people in the eye first. the thing is though, if you claim not to like me and you don't even KNOW me, then I know that the problem is not me.

I trust my intuition too when I meet new folks, yet I try really hard to refrain from assumptions. Too many times I have allowed someone else - a friend, a relative etc to give me an opinion of a person I don't even know and have that 'color' my perception of them. I don't think this is fair, I mean I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. People ought to be accepted (or not) on their own merit (or lack of it lol). There DEFINITELY have been people I get an icky feeling about from the beginning and that feeling never subsides - but I don't usually invite those people close to me or allow them to be a big part of my life. I am surprised about the friendships dropping off due to being widowed. Most of my friends that I have are long time friends or MY friends only, so it would be bizarre for them to stop talking to me if something happened to my husband. My friends are priceless, my close friends especially. I always hope I can be as good of a friend to them as they are to me.

LOL! One thing I have learned about online friendships is that you have to both have the time to invest. If one person suddenly drops off the face of the internet, it can be very daunting for the other person, especially if they considered the missing person a 'close friend'. I have a few friends like that - we used to talk daily and now we don't. I figure maybe if we both took the time maybe but it's hard, people have various reasons for dropping out of sight, going back to work, starting a family, having another baby, moving, you name it. I've learned that I can't control things like that.

Isn't that funny how that goes? I think the best friends that I have I wasn't like that with, but some CLOSE friends definitely. I have felt in some cases that I get to experience some fun parts of people's lives BECAUSE perhaps I am the only friend who will help them move, or drive across the country, or pursue whatever dream they have that everybody else tells them is 'foolish'. I do it for them, not for me, but in the end it gets to be for me as well lol.

First impressions (as much as people count on them) are not always true lol.

That's the thing, sometimes someone who doesn't seem like 'your type' really is, after you look at what matters. As far as me, the only 'types' I avoid are people who put something else ahead of themselves, like for instance someone who identifies themselves solely with a religion or someone who identifies themselves solely with a career. There is SO much more to a person than 'jewish' or 'I'm a singer'... know what I mean?

LOL! I know people like that too. I can think of one such friend, okay actually two, and I cannot figure out what to do with them. I avoid them whenever possible but it's like they PURPOSELY try to show up where they know I'll be! It's very frustrating because it gets old when I'm muttering complaints under my breath and my KIDS hear me!

Well, I've figured out that you won't like everybody, that's one of the joys of being different. That's the best part of a big community, there's more of a chance you'll meet at least a few people you DO like even if you also find out you meet a LOT of people you DON'T like.

I mostly meant have you ever met someone you DIDN'T like when you met them and then they turned into a close friend down the road. I have a friend like that... well more than a few. The first one I remember was a girl I met in elementary school. She was a MAJOR tomboy, and I wasn't, not any more. She and I got into a fight on the playground over something stupid and we were forced to sit together in class afterwards. She and I became very close for awhile after making up, we grew apart later and unfortunately I have lost touch with her, but I have thought about trying to find her or her mom now that almost everybody can be found through internet searches and social networks. In fact things like this have happened so often to me that if I REALLY am put off by someone the very first time I meet them, I usually will finagle a second 'chance' meeting to see if perhaps they are really a nice person in disguise lol.

Oh my. You know, I have lost touch with some friends before too but I always have faith that we can get back in touch - if we can find each other. Now that doesn't always happen but that's the intention from my end usually. Now I have had opposite situations where I met someone and became friends but then they did rotten things to other friends of mine or had a lousy attitude and turned me off.