My friend has lots of money and I need help! Should I ask her?

United States
February 9, 2009 8:20pm CST
I am a very low income individual. I live check to check. I live without luxuries, including cable tv, eating out and I have no car. I haven't bought new clothes in months. All I have for fun is a 10 year old computer and books. Usually this time a year most people are getting a tax refund. My income is non-taxable and I don't have any children so I get nothing. I am unfortunately unemployed right now and can't find a job because I live in a rural town with a crap bus system and I do not have a car to get out of town to look for work. I am doing the best I can to get on my feet. I have been struggling for awhile now, and I can't take it. I can barely afford food. Please don't say apply for food stamps, because evidently my income is too high and only can qualify for $10 per month, in addition I don't have kids to feed. Which is ridiculous because I live well under the National poverty line. After I pay my rent and utilities there is nothing left over. A friend of mine received her income tax check a few weeks ago and received over $8500, mostly from the Earned Income Credit because she has kids and only worked part time. She has always been blessed to have money and has well off parents who give her lots of money if she needs it. She wants for nothing. I have been thinking of asking her for $50.00 so I can buy some new pants and some food. I am not so sure if I should because she is not the type of person to help someone in need. More than likely she will say no. I know it isn't her responsibility to help anyone, but for someone who constantly tells everyone how much stuff she has and how much she has in the bank, she should help someone less fortunate than her. I know I would. I don't want to look like scum and give her the satisfaction of telling me no, but I need help. I remember asking her for food once and she said she couldn't afford it, which was a lie. I felt embarrased and humiliated. What should I do?
6 people like this
25 responses
@zweeb82 (5713)
• Malaysia
10 Feb 09
Erm, is this even a friend? A friend in need is a friend indeed. My goodness, is the economy that bad in the USA? Could you like get a job at a fast food restaurant or something? At least you can get your food covered? Just a thought.
• United States
10 Feb 09
There are no jobs in my area. A new company came to town recently and there were 500 people lined up for 100 positions.
1 person likes this
@zweeb82 (5713)
• Malaysia
11 Feb 09
Ouch, that's really bad
@JHEZ924 (119)
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
Well, I think you should not do that... What you can ask her is to help you look a job. Maybe she have contacts that she can refer you to be employed but not ask her directly for money. Also, if she refuse to give you some money or any material help, maybe she has a reason. You don't have any idea what are her obligations, maybe she earned a lot but maybe she also has a great responsibility.
• United States
10 Feb 09
She wouldn't even help me look for a job. She is too selfish to think about others. I have known this woman half my life. I know her responsibilities. She has money coming out of her eyeballs. She has a easy life, compared to me. She only refuses because she don't care about anyone but herself.
@JHEZ924 (119)
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
well, if that's the case, then never ask anymore... you'll just waste your time to her... just move on your own, anyways hardwork always gives positive result...
@laglen (19779)
• United States
10 Feb 09
That is a good way to kill a friendship. I understand how you feel, but she is not obligated to help. I know MOST of us would see a friend in need and want to help but she clearly isn't this way. I would let it go.
• United States
10 Feb 09
I agree completely.
@xbrendax (2668)
• United States
10 Feb 09
This is a friend? I wouldn't ask that woman for anything! I would do anything rather then go to her! Do you have anything to sell, any crafts, pillow making, fruits or vegetables that you grow, any good looking house plants to sell? A lot of churches will help people with money. I am not that religious but once when I needed money to help pay my gas bill, I went to 3 churches and came home with over $250. Can you sell your blood? There's a place where I live that will give you $50 if you donate some plasma. You can do this twice a week and that certainly would help your money problems. I would love to go there but my blood just won't come out! It starts to go up the tube then just stops about a few inches up and it won't go any more, I know, I tried it before. I wish I could help you in some way but I am just like you, not enough money! If you are determined to ask your friend for some cash, then maybe you can start out by saying something like this: Hi, (her name), how are you today? I was wondering if you need anything done over at your place? I won't charge much and I am a damn good worker, so what do ya say, need anything done? Maybe you can get the ball rolling asking her that way and in a happy tone of voice, good luck!
• United States
10 Feb 09
I occasionally sell on eBay, but I have run out of things to sell. I don't make much from that because of all of the fees. I wouldn't mind donating plasma, but there is no such place like that in this town. I would have to pay money to go to the city. The money I would make, would only pay for the interstate bus tickets back and forth.
@goldeneagle (6774)
• United States
10 Feb 09
RULE # 1 is to NEVER mix money and friendship...I violated this rule about a year ago, and the B@stard left me holding the bag on about $1,300 dollars...if you value her as a friend, do not borrow money from her....
• United States
10 Feb 09
I would never borrow that amount of money from anyone. This so called friend of mine has plenty of money to burn and can afford to help a needy person if she wanted to. $50 is nothing to her. She has everything she needs.
@TinaTian (18)
• China
10 Feb 09
I think you should ask for help from another friend, maybe not this one. I feel good when I can help my friends, so it's ok to ask.
• United States
10 Feb 09
I have no other friends to ask. The one or two other good friends I have don't have the extra cash to help me.
@spalladino (17921)
• United States
10 Feb 09
You've already answered your own question. This *friend* isn't the type of person who would help you and you suspect that she would get satisfaction from telling you no so why put yourself through it? Are there any food banks or community food pantries in your area? Many times churches offer this. Since you're having such a hard time it might be a good idea to call some of your local churches and see if they have any kind of food program. At least that would save you money on food. Hang in there.
• United States
10 Feb 09
I live in a rural area and there isn't much help here. The food pantry here isn't great and sometimes the food is outdated. Once a month 1 or 2 churches give out gift cards to a grocery store, but sometimes they run out. I have to have a car to get there and I have to rely upon someone to take me there when they can.
@Porcospino (28529)
• Denmark
10 Feb 09
To me she doesn't sound like a very good friend. If I were your friend I would have offered you some money instead of bragging about my bank account. The advantage about asking her would be that you'll know that at least you tried, but the disadvantage is that you might ended being humiliated if she says no. The fact that she wouldn't give you food when you asked for it seems like a bad signs and she is likely to say no if you ask her for $50.00. I probably wouldn't ask her. I understand your situation, as I have been without money, a job and a car in he past, and it is hard finding a job if you need to go by bus. I hope you find a solution.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Yes, it is rough. I live in this rural town that doesn't want change. It is like being stuck in the 1800's out here. Even the hospital sucks. I want to move out of here so bad, but I need a car and a job in order to do that.
• India
10 Feb 09
The rule is, while borrowing money from your friend you should make sure which is more important of the two, The friendship or the money! But if the person is a real friend he/she would borrow u even with out u asking for the same. It really depends on how badly you need the money.
• United States
10 Feb 09
We really don't have much of a friendship as far as I am concerned. She has never been there for me. Yes, you are right she should have asked me if I needed anything. She is so busy talking about herself she sees nothing else.
@ehlana88 (330)
• United States
10 Feb 09
Honestly, I think you shouldn't. I understand the struggle you are in all too well. I am single, unemployed due to this marvelous economy, and about one missing paycheck short of living in my car. That's my advantage a car. However, I've been there with friends and family. She doesn't sound like the greatest friend around as is if you are afraid of her and she embarrassed and humiliated you. Add the stress of more embarrassment and humiliation and you could probably break down. Another reason is that she will be upset with you for asking in general. IF she does say yes you will have to come up with a way to pay her back quickly. If you had a job offer or something on the rise and she was just gonna spot you til your paycheck, it might be different. Asking when there isn't a prospect of paying her back I think will put too much strain on the relationship and especially you. Just my thoughts.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Well, she really isn't a very good friend. She knows I am struggling and could care less.She is very money hungry and if there is nothing in it for her, she won't bother with it.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
You should never ask a friend to lend you money if you cannot pay for it quickly. It will be very embarassing indeed if you cannot pay back what you owe to your friend within a short period of time. Besides, your friend already said know before and that is a sign that she is not willing to go through all the troubles and possible embarassment in case you end up not paying her what you owe. The best thing to do here is brave the "crap" bus system and try to find work. Yes, it will not be easy to find work these days but at least you are trying. Who knows, you will be able to get a decent paying job and be able to buy yourself a car.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
11 Feb 09
sounds like to me someone need to start beening thankful.at least you have something some people don,t have anything to call their on.ask her she can,t say but no pray about it before you ask.maybe god will move her heart to help.
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
it doesnt sound to me like she is a very good friend, because if she were, she would be offering you some money and not waiting til you ask her, so i dont think its worth asking her anyways.
@BlueGoblin (1831)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I would try to drop some hints about needing money and maybe she will feel inclined to give you something. I would not do this in an obvious way. I would make some slight hints here and there. Asking for money is not something you should do. I don't think it is polite. However asking for a loan or promising to pay her back at a later time is fine. Judging by her response the last time I don't think she wants to help you. I think she likes holding her money over you and making you look small. She wouldn't be my friend with actions like that.
@jimbo88 (231)
• Indonesia
10 Feb 09
Try to ask with her.Perhaps she can help you. Remember her money, I think it is possible to borrow some money to you.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Hello Young Lady: Well, I wish I could stick my hand through the computer and hand you some money but unfortuneately that's impossible. There has to be some body or place that will assist you. Also, you may have to get innovative in thinking through what you can do to earn some money. Desparate times calls for desparate measures.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Generally borrowing any type of money is usually not a good idea if you dont know exactly when you can pay the person back. Money is the root of all evil, and borrowing it just makes it worse. I really do hope the best for you
@cutepenguin (6448)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
I wouldn't ask. You've asked before, and she said no, so asking again will only make you feel badly. Maybe you can ask her for help in another way, like to get a job or find some other work. It is so hard when you don't have a way to get a job, and you can't afford a car because you don't have a job. It's so circular. I'm sorry that i can't offer a more helpful suggestion.
• Pakistan
10 Feb 09
buddy in this situation i would rather suggest that you shouldn't because if you need money badly you should concern your family relatives in this regard.Your friend will have some way or other,some thoughts for you.
• India
10 Feb 09
well after reading your lot i feel it would be useless in asking your friend because i think she dosent have a helping nature, she only likes to show off to others that how much she has with her.but still if you feel confidence that she will help you and if you are ready to face any thing she says then well you could try out asking help to her.