Living with a Non-believer

United States
March 5, 2009 2:01pm CST
I was not raised in a church-going family. As close as I got to God was saying grace before meals, and that was generally only on special occasions, like holidays when family was around. I guess we were trying to keep up appearances or something along those lines. I have been attending church for about a year and a half, and recently became a member. I was baptized last year in May, and believe in my heart of hearts that Jesus is my Savior, my Redeemer, my Almighty Father in heaven. I am, however, married to a man who claims to be an athiest. I certainly have my doubts about that, as he will often make comments regarding heaven/hell, God/Satan. It's my belief that one cannot be an athiest and still believe that these things exist. None-the-less, I am just curious how I should handle the day-to-day issues that arise in life when I want to celebrate and praise the Lord for something, but my spouse has no interest in discussing these topics. If anyone has any suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it. I love my husband with all my heart, but I want to live my life for God - it's really hard to do both when my husband wants nothing to do with God!!
2 people like this
17 responses
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
6 Mar 09
Hi Lucky, I am so happy that you know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior! It is the most important and the best decision you will ever make! Pray for your husband and your family. Let them know that you belong to the Lord just by the way you live. Be loving, kind and forgiving. Tell them the wonderful things God has done for you and that you want them to feel the peace and joy that you do...the kind they cannot get from this world. God will use you to help bring people to Him. Just pray for His guidance and wisdom. He will help you. Don't ever give up! God bless!
• United States
6 Mar 09
I don't know if you ever listen to Dr Charles Stanley or not, but he is a great teacher of God. He is the pastor of First Baptist Church in Atlanta, GA and he is the founder of InTouch Ministries. His program is on every weekend on INSP and TBN. He has a great website to: www.intouch.org God bless.
@anthony89 (154)
• United States
10 Oct 09
Does your husband really want nothing to do with god. I do not even go to church anymore and I feel as if I have become closer to god. I have been called an athiest simply because I told people I do not have a religion anymore which is an idiotic thing to say because, God is God, and religion is religion. I believe in God, not religion.
• United States
9 Oct 09
pray pray pray pray pray, If you continue to love your husband as the bible tells you to and you pray to god to bring him to seek God I truely believe it will come! Just pray for him and Im gonna say a lil prayer for you too :)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Live as Jesus Christ taught. Let your husband see in you what's so good about being a Christian.
• United States
6 Mar 09
Lucky- Just because someone does not "believe" in the same God you do does not make them a "non-believer", they simply choose not to believe in the same thing you do. I have a very difficult time understanding this terminology of believer versus non-believer to be honest, and it seems to be found mostly in the evangelical Christian world. I am saying nothing against your chosen belief system, it's just something I've noticed in terms of the language. If you love your husband and respect him as a spiritual being, then you'll respect his right not to believe as you do. I would hope that he too would respect your right as a spiritual being to believe as you do. Without mutual respect I suspect the relationship could prove very stressful, and you will have to decide if wish to continue it. I'm not sure how your faith looks on divorce, but that may be one option for you. "Making" someone convert to your religion isn't right. I wish you well. Namaste-Anora
• Philippines
6 Mar 09
First of all i wanted to ask you something, did you meet your hubby and know for sure that he is atheist and you are Christian or , you just became a christian and Accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior when you are already married. Because this is the thing, Paul says in 1Corinthians chapter 7, he speaks about Marriage there. I am not judging you of why you happen to choose a NC, but since you are already there, you really have to endure the suffering my friend. Nobody can change your man but only God. I suggest that whenever your hubby is asleep, lay your hands over him and pray to God that He will touch the life of your husband. You see nothing is impossible to God. You have to be constant on praying for your love ones.Petition Him before God. I am sure that God will respond to you. Read the Bible as what Joshua 1:8 is saying and grow in the knowledge of God. Live a life as a good example to your husband. Even if you don't preach a single thing, but ones he sees the good things about you obeying God's word, it is a good testimony. Please avoid arguments about topics, be much gentler and understand him more. This is your cross to bear my friend because you accepted him in your life. He is just sanctified because you are a believer. Keep your light shine always. Press on and continue to Glorify God in whatever you do.
• India
6 Mar 09
I can only suggest you is that as you love your husband very much and as you said he docent have any thing to do with god so well if he is doing some good work tell him that the work has been done with god's grace and well any thing which he feels he is not able to do it and you know the solution then also use god name his worships before him and well then later do the work and when its a success then tell him because of god this all could be done, also keep showing him some pictures of gods or stories of god may be in this way slowly he will be having change
@becdmd (705)
• Philippines
6 Mar 09
A question got into my mind as I read your post..why did you get married to your husband if he's an athiest? but at the last part of your post..you said you love your husband with all your heart even if he's not a christian... I've read a christian book about A woman after God's own heart by Elizabeth George, I want to share with you what you should do: 1. Make a commitment to help your husband (Gen; 2:18) 2. Do not give up praying for him (read and declare 1 Tim.2:4, 2 Pet. 3:9) 3. Respect him (Ephesians 5:33) 4. Love Him (Titus 2:4) this is also my advice, Continue doing good works, through your actions you will evangelize for your husband, in the end the heart of your husband will be opened and will receive salvation...Godbless you!(^_^)
@Archie0 (4667)
6 Mar 09
Well it is not hard to turn an atheist into a religious person, but only if he wants to as far as the suggestions and discussions you think that your partner does not invovle himself in because he thinks he is an aethist then you cannot force him, just as he cannot force you to not beieve god. So i think you should do your part of praying or any religious functions without getting his suggestions over him, let your both thoughts differ because this is not going to help either of you.
• United States
6 Mar 09
I think your husband has religions mixed up, I think he might be agnostic not athiest, athiests have no belief because they dont belive anything, they think they're here to live and die, theres nothing before or after. Agnostics on the other hand dont believe in anything because they are more open minded, they look at christianity, buddhism, hinduism, evolution, taoism, scientology (lol), and think wow, who's to say that either one of those are right, they all have holes in the theory, and no hardcore proof to show that they are right or wrong. Me personally I'm agnostic, and every girlfriend I've had has been a catholic church member, and religion never seemed to seperate us any. You have your beliefs, he has his, its natural, ask him sometime about what exactly his beliefs are, learn more about what he thinks before you start telling him all about yours, and whatever you do don't preach to him, I'm not saying that you do, but that is the most annoying thing a person can do to another, it basically says that you dont respect him.
@rsa101 (22679)
• Philippines
6 Mar 09
Well if I were on your situation, i would just leave my belief on my own and his on his own. If he continues to criticize you then tell him to stop and create that he is entitled to make his own belief and yours. It is time that he respects you as you have to respect his belief systems.
@xtedaxcvg (3190)
• Philippines
6 Mar 09
Well, all you have to do is put God ahead of anything and anyone else. I don't have to explain this or elaborate this because it is plain and simple. What you can do however is to gradually let your husband "know" God. Introduce him to the bible in a subtle way so he won't have time to put his defenses up. In time I bet he will finally discover, accept, and love God.
• China
6 Mar 09
well,you know the fish and bear can not be survied at the same time,and maybe i was too seriouse to see the question,and i want u to know that not everybody as you do ,even your best lover,he can belive the god ,and also can unbelive the god ,just the life style ,so u can not force he love it ,that's all
• United States
5 Mar 09
You just have to keep on living your life and believe what you believe. I don't have any non-believers in my family but I have friends who are non-believers. It was always touchy cause sometimes I would have religious music on in the car or I would say something about God that would cause them to say something, but we would always come to a understanding. Its hard when you care about someone and you want to share your faith and expirences with them. You just keep doing what your doing, you have your beliefs and he has his. He should not dismiss yours just because he wants nothing to do with God. You can't make people have your same faith or beliefs, they have to come upon that themselves. Keep praising the Lord, dont let him stop you just ask him to be respectful of your beliefs and you will do the same for him.
@Lore2009 (7386)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I find a lot of atheists are really believers that just hate 'god'. My ex was one too and it was funny to me how passionate he got when it was any type of discussion of religion... as if he was religious himself. I believe that spirituality is something between you and your spirit/savior and you can still do the things you want to with it without anyone. But it really depends on the way you express your beliefs... you have the freedom to express it the way you want to and so does your husband. Good luck~!
@barehugs (8985)
• Canada
5 Mar 09
I was born into a Christian family and as a teenager was very active in the church. everything went along well until I was teaching a class of young boys, and it suddenly hit me.-I didn't believe what I was teaching. So I quit the Church and took up a study of Spirituality. The point I'm trying to make is, its very possible to believe in God and not be a member of an Organized Religion. One can hardly be alive and not see God in every Flower blooming in your garden. " Be still and Know that I am God. I will be exalted among the heathen. I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Well, I have been living with one for 8 years and it is very frustrating, becuse you love them. But they probably will not change....He hasnt. And I understand why you are upset about it. As long as he doesnt have a problem with you doing what you need to for your faith, then it shouldnt be a problem, as long as he doesnt bring you down. MY guy talks about how he doesnt believe and makes little jokes here and there which I feel is disrespectful to me, buthe doesnt see it...But I just say continue on your path, and just be sure the relationship doesnt come before that and you should be ok =)