I'm Sorry Everyone...... I LIED!
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
March 7, 2009 10:01am CST
Well, the other day I told you, no more FedEx Guy Discussions, well, I'm fixing to start another one, so I'm sorry everyone, but I LIED! I didn't mean to lie, I really was dead set on not writing another discussion about him, but it's crazy how sometimes things happen and you change your mind.
Now, a lot of you told me that if I want to "move on" then I needed to stop writing discussions about him and maybe you are right. But yet, here I am, writing about this guy again. 
Well, here it goes......
Last night I took my daughter bowling. I also took a teenage girl who watches the kids for me a lot too. Her parents bowl on a bowling league and last night they had to bowl. We got there about an hour before leagues was over and we had to wait until then before we could bowl. We just sat over by her parents(of which her dad is his boss) and hung out with them. Where am I going with this? Well sitting beside them at another table was, yup, you guessed it! Mr. FedEx. 
Now, I didn't make an attempt for him to see me, I kept to myself with the parents of the teenager. The teenager had left some of her stuff out in my car, so we went back to get it, when we came back inside the building, Mr. FedEx seen me and we waved at each other. I went back to talking to the kids and the parents of the teenager. A few minutes after I heard, "Terri....". I just kind of brushed it off like I didn't hear him, then I heard it again, "Terri....". So, I couldn't ignore him a second time. I turned around and he was looking at me, so I walked over and we talked for awhile. He told me about his long day and said that he was tired and was getting ready to go home and go to bed. I asked, "Do you need any company?". He replied, "No. Well, yeah, it would be nice, but no because it's really been a long day and I have a really long weekend ahead of me". He then told me about how on Saturday, he had some sort of non-profit organization thing to do all day and how he was the President and would have to get it all set up, then do the whole event and then tear it all back down. He said that, he would start on it all first thing Saturday morning and probably wouldn't get it all tore down until about 2 am Sunday morning, then on Sunday, he had to drive to pick up some vehicles that he was going to work on and then said that my co-worker (his friend) would be coming over Sunday to work on his truck too. So, all in all, yes, sounds like he is a very busy guy.
Now, while we were talking a lady who works at the bowling alley came up and put her head on his shoulder and started looking me up and down, he talked to her very briefly and then returned his conversation back to me. I think the lady got the hint because she finally went on back to work.
When Mr. FedEx was fixing to leave he said, "Well, let me give you a hug because I'm not sure how long it will be before I get to go back to your work so you won't be getting one for a while." So he gave me a big hug and then when he was getting ready to leave I said, "Since it's gonna be awhile, you are definitely gonna make it up to me next time I do get to see you, right?" He smiled big and said, "Yes".
Now, I went to get a soda from the concession stand and that lady that had butted into our conversation was working it. She tried to get the other lady to wait on me but that lady wouldn't, then she was kind of rude to me, just kind of threw me the soda, etc. Do you think the lady was jealous of me or what? Did she think I was moving in on her territory? I know that he isn't seeing her, but maybe he has before, I'm not sure.
I had started a discussion about backing off of him and letting him come after me. Do you think that maybe this was an example of him coming to me? I didn't make an attempt to talk to him, it was all him, he started the conversation.
I'm not getting my hopes up or anything, I just want your honest opinion about it.
Well, here it goes......
Last night I took my daughter bowling. I also took a teenage girl who watches the kids for me a lot too. Her parents bowl on a bowling league and last night they had to bowl. We got there about an hour before leagues was over and we had to wait until then before we could bowl. We just sat over by her parents(of which her dad is his boss) and hung out with them. Where am I going with this? Well sitting beside them at another table was, yup, you guessed it! Mr. FedEx.
Now, I didn't make an attempt for him to see me, I kept to myself with the parents of the teenager. The teenager had left some of her stuff out in my car, so we went back to get it, when we came back inside the building, Mr. FedEx seen me and we waved at each other. I went back to talking to the kids and the parents of the teenager. A few minutes after I heard, "Terri....". I just kind of brushed it off like I didn't hear him, then I heard it again, "Terri....". So, I couldn't ignore him a second time. I turned around and he was looking at me, so I walked over and we talked for awhile. He told me about his long day and said that he was tired and was getting ready to go home and go to bed. I asked, "Do you need any company?". He replied, "No. Well, yeah, it would be nice, but no because it's really been a long day and I have a really long weekend ahead of me". He then told me about how on Saturday, he had some sort of non-profit organization thing to do all day and how he was the President and would have to get it all set up, then do the whole event and then tear it all back down. He said that, he would start on it all first thing Saturday morning and probably wouldn't get it all tore down until about 2 am Sunday morning, then on Sunday, he had to drive to pick up some vehicles that he was going to work on and then said that my co-worker (his friend) would be coming over Sunday to work on his truck too. So, all in all, yes, sounds like he is a very busy guy.
Now, while we were talking a lady who works at the bowling alley came up and put her head on his shoulder and started looking me up and down, he talked to her very briefly and then returned his conversation back to me. I think the lady got the hint because she finally went on back to work.
When Mr. FedEx was fixing to leave he said, "Well, let me give you a hug because I'm not sure how long it will be before I get to go back to your work so you won't be getting one for a while." So he gave me a big hug and then when he was getting ready to leave I said, "Since it's gonna be awhile, you are definitely gonna make it up to me next time I do get to see you, right?" He smiled big and said, "Yes".
Now, I went to get a soda from the concession stand and that lady that had butted into our conversation was working it. She tried to get the other lady to wait on me but that lady wouldn't, then she was kind of rude to me, just kind of threw me the soda, etc. Do you think the lady was jealous of me or what? Did she think I was moving in on her territory? I know that he isn't seeing her, but maybe he has before, I'm not sure.
I had started a discussion about backing off of him and letting him come after me. Do you think that maybe this was an example of him coming to me? I didn't make an attempt to talk to him, it was all him, he started the conversation.
I'm not getting my hopes up or anything, I just want your honest opinion about it.12 people like this
32 responses
@athinapie (1150)
• Philippines
7 Mar 09
Kinda complicated there my friend. Anyway, yeah you should really let him come after you. Don't put yourself down. You are too precious for that.
4 people like this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
7 Mar 09
Not complicated..jeeze so easy to see. He won,t come after her, he isn't interested and the sooner she sees this the better she will be off. He knows she likes him and he REFUSED her invitation to keep him company..look at the excuses he used
5 people like this
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
8 Mar 09
DancingRedFeather1 have you always just been a blunt person are what? You see that she is so hopeful so why cant you just see what she sees.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
8 Mar 09
bfarrier1, singlemommy specifically asked for people's honest opinions. DancingRedFeather has done just that. I respectfully say that your comment was unkind, uncalled for and adds nothing of merit to the discussion at hand. Please keep your responses and comments to the topic at hand.
athinapie, I didn't think she was putting herself down. These two people have an opportunity to get to know one another and I think things are going ok. Hhe seems a bit shy and I reckon he was letting singlemommy know what he was doing and who would be there so she could possibly turn up.
singlemommy, I reckon you should not be in a rush, just take things slowly and don't rush into anything. Good luck
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
8 Mar 09
I'm a guy and I can tell you that he isn't interested in the way that you would like it to be. If I'm interested in a woman, trust me I would give her my number to call me or ask her permission to give me hers and I wouldn't just give you a hug and pat your back..lol..I'd probably give you a quick kiss too!
Sorry my dear but he isn't interested or else he would have made a play for you.
If a woman would offer to keep me company if I am interested in her..I wouldn't use the *busy* excuse..I will find time and even invite her to wherever I am if it is possible.
Us men are hunters and when we see a beautiful woman we want..we go for it.
3 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
8 Mar 09
If you had read all my past discussions then you would have already known that I had his phone number, but you've only come upon the last couple discussions.
I never said that I knew NOTHING about him. No, I don't know where he lives, I've never been there before. I never said that I knew his life story, but yes, I've known him for a couple years, we've always chatted and talked but only the past couple months, we have talked more than we used to.
I work with his friend, so therefore his friend talks to me about him a lot, so I've learned a lot about him from his friend.
Also, the girl who watches my kids for me. Well, her dad is his boss, so I've heard a lot about him from her and her family as well. BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW HIS LIFE STORY nor DO I CLAIM TO KNOW IT!!!
2 people like this
What I meant is..If I was a guy..@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
8 Mar 09
you know what..very strange how you have started this discussion..the more you are posting the more you are not such a stranger with this guy and am wondering if you are just playing a game.
Before it seemed you knew nothing of the guy..now you know his life, and now have his phone number..really now..what else you going to tell us..that you know where he lives and been there before..?
It doesn't sound logical all you are saying now. Because if you know his life and have his number..ah heck am dropping this discussion..2 people like this
@rsa101 (38027)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
Welcome back then and seeing this post would again pop out in the open was not a surprised to me anymore. I was doubting that the story about this fedex guy would continue on as long as this fedex guy would not really tell you his intentions about you. But from where you describe in your post he is only interested in you as an outlet for his busy days. I sense that he just is interested in you as a conversational partner and nothing more. If he would be interested in you he might have invited you in his activities he is into and maybe would really find time to be intimate with you in one of those busy times and when he would unwind his time with.
With regards to the girl, I am suspecting something more intimate with her since you describe it that she leaned over him which shows that there maybe something happening more deeply between the two of them. Although I am not 100% sure about this but the way you described her with him makes me think like they do have some more closer relationship that you having this flirtatious relationship which you are describing.
3 people like this
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
7 Mar 09
My honest opinion about this is, I think this fed ex guy likes the attention you show him. I truly think that if he was interested in dating you, he would have asked you out by now.
Like I responded in one of your other posts, I know a fedex guy that my girlfriend was interested in, he also had other women at some of his other stops that he was flirting and fooling around with, plus he was married.
I know it is flattering when someone shows you attention, but I think this guy is just doing that flattering with no intentions. Since he obviously lives close to you, why didn't he invite you to the event he was hosting as a guest of his? It doesn't take that long for someone to ask you out if they are really interested in you in that way.
This other woman at the bowling alley probably flirts with him every time he comes to the bowling alley, and was not a happy camper when she saw him talking to someone else. Did he introduce the two of you to each other?
Like I said before, trend lightly.
3 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I actually DID wonder about that, while I was reading my thought was that he'd invite her to his non-profit event... but he didn't. So I don't know. I'd be likely to invite someone to something like that, IF I'd have the time to be a good host.
I haven't read other responses yet BUT I am of the mind that the lady at the bowling alley means little to nothing... and should mean little to nothing to anybody lol. She's not even relevant to the situation.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Well, I can understand why he wouldn't invite me to such an event, especially if he is going to have to do all the work setting it up, tearing it down. He would be able to enjoy my company if he has to do this and has to do that the whole time, know what I mean? A first date should be being able to sit down, talk, and get to know each other better.
I'm sure that he probably does flirt with other women, I flirt with other men, so I don't really see that as an issue. I do know for a fact that he is SINGLE, so I'm not too concerned about that.
The other woman at the bowling alley must not have meant anything, he kind of brushed her off and that was something that I did take note of. When she laid her head on his shoulder, he could have put his arm around her or something, but he didn't. He didn't tell her bye before he left, but he did me. He gave me a hug and told me bye. Maybe they have a history together or they have known each other for years, only they know. Personally, it isn't any of my business unless I start dating him. Then, yes, I would like to know if they dated but whether or not they did or not still isn't relevent because he would be dating me, not her, so who cares how she felt about the situation.
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Umm, you are almost a senior here, so I have to ask, where have you been? Many discussions here are about personal issues, both negative and positive, and they get many responses. This one alone has three pages of responses, so to say that no one is interested in personal type discussions is incorrect. Sometimes people don't have people to talk to about their problems in real life, sometimes they don't want to discuss certain things with their personal friends and like the anonymity of internet. Still others just want another opinion after talking with people in their life. Regardless of the reason, many people have put their many issues out here in MyLot to get opinions, and they get many. If you aren't interested in such things, its okay, don't respond. But to say that no one is is just an extremely gross generalization, and isn't true.
2 people like this
@pinky_laces (77)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
hello single mommy.. please dont get mad on what i am going to comment.. its like if i were you i will do this.... im sorry to say this but it doesnt show that you're letting him come after you... when he was reciting kinda those busy things you should have stop him and tell him "oh u dont need to explain..." u shouldnt have asked him about someone to accompany him in bed coz it shows like u want to be with him... and u shouldnt have asked him for a day that he's free to see you...things like that... u have to show him that ur not interested with him... like when he saw u at the bowling lane, just a simple hi and hello will do... then, show no interest of talking to him... when he told u it would take lo ng to see u again, u should have told him: "oh, no problem with it...i dont care" (mean??)for me thats how to make a man go after you... dont show any interest...
3 people like this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
8 Mar 09
I want to follow up on what pinky said. Her heart is in the right place, but I don't think you need to act as if you don't care at all. I mean, since he already knows that you like him, doing that will make him think he did something wrong, and may mess everything up altogether.
Instead, you should act nonchalant about everything. It was cool to talk politely with him when he spoke, but yeah, shoulda left that comment about company alone. When he said that it may be a long time before he sees you again, you should have said okay, like it wasn't a big deal, but saying "I don't" care is a tad much.
He knows the door is open, just act nonchalant and let him walk through it on his own, instead of trying to push him in that direction.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Yes, you are probably right. I tried to keep it to a friend hi and wave last night, but he wanted to talk to me, so I gave him that opportunity. I'm sure I won't see him for awhile, so last night will probably be the last time I talk to him for awhile. I guess I will have to wait and see how he treats me the next time I see him.
2 people like this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
7 Mar 09
You didn't lie. What you said was until there was anything else going on with the man you wouldn't mention him again.
Well something has happened. Yes he even made it a point o call out your name and get you to talk to him. ANyone else would have left it o the wave and went on.
I'd say he's at least interested a little. ANd yes he appears to be a very busy man.
Too bad you seren't able to help him outwith the fundraiser he is working on this weekend.
He obviously doesn't care about the lady that tried to run you off by comeing over and putting her head on his shoulder. If tere was anything there he would haveated like it. She is intsted in him to.
The problem wit her is that she is throwing herself at him. Men don't like that.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I'm sure he is interested in me, if anything as a friend. The other lady, well, I don't really care about her. Maybe she was throwing herself at him but he obviouly wasn't giving in to her. Maybe she's interested in him, maybe she's an ex, I don't know, but the friendship that I have with him isn't any of her business.
If he had asked me to help out with his event today, I probably would have. It was a event about hunting though, so I'm sure he would have thought that I would be bored if I attended it being that I am a woman. Plus, it would be hard to get to know someone if you are running an event and busy the whole time.
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
7 Mar 09
He likes you. You like him. The other gal likes him also. It sounds like he shared all this information with you about his schedule, plans and activities because he was trying to figure out when and how to get together with you for a date. Like he was thinking/talking out loud. You should have given him your phone number so he can let you know when his schedule opens up for a date.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
7 Mar 09
All I am going to do is laugh about this.... *I* don't know whether he's interested or not because I am not singlemommy and I wasn't there. It seems like there is much more to this situation than this ONE post, because she says 'I lied, I wrote about FedExGuy again after I said I wouldn't'.
Not all guys act in the same manner (obviously if you know enough of them) so I won't even pretend to know. Of course I guess it depends whether she's interested or not and it seems like she is. Approaching someone is a personal decision, I guess if you have the nerve, you get an answer, right? Whether it's one you really want to know or not is the real question.
3 people like this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
7 Mar 09
Really girls!! You sure don't know much about men! If a man wants you, you don't have to chase him or give him your number..if he is interested HE WILL GIVE YOU HIS! A man can ask you for your number by politeness not wanting to make you feel bad in front of him and NEVER CALL YOU!
He is not interested in a date..since he gave her a friendly hug cause it is probably a long time before he will be delivering a parcel where she works..for heavens sake girls..wake up. He knows where she works..so if he wants her he can call at her work..he isn't interested in her for a date and made all kinds of EXCUSES! Trust me men don,t give a dam about what they have to do next day if they are interested in a woman..I know..many times men have moved their schedule for a date with me or arranged to see me as fast as they could and they gave me their number for me to call them..so if a man doesn't give you his number..HE ISN'T INTO YOU..I think I will have to write a book..on IS HE OR ISN'T HE INTO YOU! 4 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Mar 09
He has my number, I have his, so no need to exchange something that you already have.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
8 Mar 09
I posted most of what I wanted to say on someone elses reply. She just had me fired up about her negativity and rudeness, so I thought that was the appropriate place to reply at the time.
But, I wanted to follow up.
I just want to say that it seems like you're trying too hard. I think you should relax and let things happen naturally. If it's meant to be, it will happen.
I'd also like to suggest that you not offer to be his "company" so easily.
Let him come to you. I hate to sound so old fashioned, but playing a LITTLE hard to get once in a while might be a good thing. I'm not saying to turn this into a manipulation game(that could be the basis for a whole discussion)but maybe just back off a little. Don't play games, by "ignoring" him either. Just be friendly, say hi and follow his lead.
What do you want from him? Have you asked yourself that question? Do you want to be his booty call or do you want a more serious relationship. It's up to you to determine which direction this relationship goes, or doesn't go. If you're okay with a casual relationship, then proceed accordingly. If your after something more, than your behavior has to reflect that too.
Just my two cents!
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
8 Mar 09
I just responded to the post that you left on the other person's comment. I really enjoyed reading your comment.
I have backed down a whole lot and tried to make it where he had do come to me. Just like at the bowling alley, I just waved and said hi, I made him come to me and even made him say my name more than once before I turned around and walked over to him where he was sitting.
Yes, maybe I shouldn't offer up my company so easily. To me it was just a flirt, I would have never left with him that night. I had too many children and I am a very responsible person.
I do know what I want from him and it isn't just a booty call. If I wanted a booty call then I know where I can get one of those.
I want someone to have a relationship with. I would love for it to be him, but then again, if I never get to start dating him then I can't totally make that decision. You learn so much more about someone once you start dating them and spending more one on one time with them.
Right now, I'm just sitting back and enjoying the ride. If something happens then it does and if it doesn't then I'm happy just having him as a good friend.
1 person likes this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Usually when another woman shows jealously then that means the guy is interested in you because jealous one can sense it!!! When he said that he wanted company but couldn't have any because of his schedule then that means he is available but he is just too busy and like another chatter said he was trying to think of a way for him and you to do something together but he didn't want to just throw you in the mix in a rush he wants to make sure he has plenty of time for you. So I think that sometime in the future he will ask you out, if you two see each other again. Maybe you should go bowling more often! 
lol just keep playing it cool and don't act too interested your doing fine. Something else I get a feeling of is he is making himself somewhat unavailable on purpose for some reason kinda like he is protecting himself. Your co-friend knows something about it because he kinda warned you awhile back that he was unavailable. Some guys get so into a relationship that they really get hurt bad when it's over and then they start protecting themselves against women and maybe that's why your friend said he's unavailable. Either way you know he likes you because that other woman showed her jealousy. Good luck. 
lol just keep playing it cool and don't act too interested your doing fine. Something else I get a feeling of is he is making himself somewhat unavailable on purpose for some reason kinda like he is protecting himself. Your co-friend knows something about it because he kinda warned you awhile back that he was unavailable. Some guys get so into a relationship that they really get hurt bad when it's over and then they start protecting themselves against women and maybe that's why your friend said he's unavailable. Either way you know he likes you because that other woman showed her jealousy. Good luck. 2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Ok Dancingfeather, like I said before, maybe she should be blunt and ASK HIM DIRECTLY. Gosh, with all the speculation even *I* would want to know by now. I more or less feel that most of the speculation is probably wrong, including both your and my view, but that's only because I know the route of most speculation - it is only based on half the story.
2 people like this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
7 Mar 09
h for heaven's sake..it doesn't mean that at all. The other woman is interested in him and sees her as a RIVAL..not as he is interested in her.
Not true..he was making excuses because he isn't interested in her as more than an acquaintance.
I can't believe how many women don't know when men are interested or not.
The guy isn't protecting himself..he probably is in a relationship!3 people like this
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
8 Mar 09
OKAY,this is my honest opinion and I have been your fan for a long while now but you need to let the fedex guy GO he is not interested in you or you would have knew by now and I am not trying to be mean because I really was rooting for you and I will be until you find your prince charming.You need to concetrate on you and your kids and when its time for a man to come into your lives you will know it.Your kids should be number 1 in our life and I am sure they are,but there is alot you can do without a man,ASK me I know? Men can be jerks.You think about you and your kids and your life will be more fullfilling than you will know. Take Care and God Bless!
2 people like this
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
10 Mar 09
Keep your faith and dont give up,and your friend is right the man for you will come walking into your life when you least expect it and you may know him for awhile before you even realize it.Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Yes, I know you have been rooting for me and I've appreciated it. Maybe you are right and I should give it up. In fact, I have, but just like last night, he came to me, I didn't go to him. I haven't approached him in over a week, but yet he comes to me. I had told everyone that was going to be my new approach.
Yeah, maybe it was friendly. I'm sure he was just trying to be nice. My take on things is that I'm happy just being his friend. Yes, I would like it to be more, but it hasn't developed into anything.
I know men can be jerks. Every man that I've ever been with has been a jerk in some way or form. Some worse than others.
I do put my children first in everything I do. It seems my life is them and I need to find something that is for me as well. I'm mommy 24/7 and I would love to just find some part of my life that is for me. Maybe that came out wrong, but I NEVER get breaks from my kids. I have my children ALL the time unless I'm at work. Work is my break from my children and believe me, it is no break. I have no family that lives around here, so I have no one to call up and say, "Hey, I need an hour to just clear my head" or anything like that. It's hard, but then again, no one ever said that motherhood was easy, right?
One of my friends told me yesterday that when I least expected then God would send me the man for me. I've had that mentality for a while now. I don't expect anything to happen for me, I don't expect anything good to happen for me either. But if I say, "It isn't going to happen", is that losing faith in God? Because then I'm doubting that he will send me someone, right? I want to just keep an open mind about things, yes, I don't expect it and if it happens then I will be surprised.
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
8 Mar 09
Hello singlemommy, I have not been following your FedEx Guy Discussions from the beginning but I get the idea I think. I cannot say for sure because I have not ever met either of you but it doesn't seem as if he is all that interested.
I'm not saying he doesn't fancy you, because he probably does and that may be the part of the problem.
He seems to be a guy that is protecting himself and has no real desire to get involved with anyone. He may have had a bad break-up I don't know.
The reason I say this is because I have come across men like this in the past, in fact for the guys who fear relationships the more they like a woman the more they will distance themselves.
It's only a guess and I may be way off the mark, but I think the best thing you can do if you don't want to directly ask him how he feels, is to just be yourself play it cool and if he comes towards you don't always be readily available for him, keep him waiting for a change! Nothing attracts a man more than a woman that is not prepared to be at his beck and call, that much I know! Good luck!
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Yes, well, I did make him call my name a couple times last night before I responded to him. I acted as if I was busy in a conversation with the other people I was there with. Who knows, I'm not keeping my hopes up but who knows.
1 person likes this
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
8 Mar 09
I have not read all your posts so forgive me if I have got some things wrong. Not all men are aggressive like DancingRedFeather proposes as not all women are aggressive like she is. She seems to want to dominate the conversation. A lot of men are shy and introverted like me and a lot of women are the same like you. I am sure he is able to converse and even flirt with some of the women on his route but might have difficulty making that big leap about the asking out part.
It is obvious as he has no present girlfriend that he might be as I say or maybe he is gay, I do not know, but I have to agree with DancingRedFeather on one point that he cannot read your mind. I know women think they are sending out signals but a lot of men, unless they are players like DancingRedFeather hobnobs with, nobody has given out a handbook for men to know what these secret signals are. You know what players are, those guys who seem to be going out with every girl in town, but nobody catches, and breaks their hearts, while nice guys watch from the sidelines and wonder why when they get up the courage to ask these same girls out they get turned down. After a while some of these nice guys give up asking women out.
If you like him and he is too shy to ask you out, maybe you should do so. This is the 21st century and you women are saying you wanted equality but when it comes to the affairs of the heart you still wait for Prince Charming to come riding along on his white horse and sweep you off your feet. Not all realtionships start with Mr. Macho harrassing the women, grinding down her defenses until she says yes, this only happens in RedFeather's world and old movies. Just a lunch date would suffice, not a complete evening date as that might be too much for a first encounter. But you say it would be embarrassing if he said no. Well yes it would, but that might be what is holding him back too. At least you will know. Someone has to make the first move.
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Well, he does know that I am interested in dating him. His friend who is my co-worker has told him that. Now this friend has also told me to ask him out but I told him that he already knows that I want to date him so if he wanted to date me then he will ask me out. Maybe by him not asking me out by now means that he isn't interested in anything but a friendship, which is actually okay with me. I'm glad that I have him as a friend.
He has told me that he is going to be busy until the end of this month, which I can totally understand. He has no set time on when he gets off work every night, he is in a bowling league, a dart league, he works on vehicles for pleasure and for extra money, and he has an organization that he is president of. He had all of this going on well before he knew that I was interested in him, so I can't hold that against him if he doesn't have time at the moment. Maybe once things slow down then he will ask me out, but even if he doesn't then I'm still content just being his friend.
I know he isn't like all the other men that I've been with, he's different. I'm not sure how to explain that, but all the other men that I've been with had one thing on their mind and this guy doesn't. Don't get me wrong, he's a man, I'm sure it is on his mind, but he could have acted on it and then went his merry way, but he didn't. I feel that he respects me enough not to hurt me like that. I'm his friend and maybe he doesn't want to mess up a good friendship by sleeping with me when he has no intentions of having a relationship with me.
I'm not necessarily waiting for Prince Charming to show up on his white horse. I don't believe any man is going to do that. But I have always done the asking out in my past relationships and this time I want something different, I want him to ask me out because then I will know that he is truly interested in me.
1 person likes this
@sunil_008 (1269)
• India
7 Mar 09
I think you should let him come to you first. since you have an weakness for him so don't let that emotion heavy on you. i think things will be okay with you soon...
2 people like this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
8 Mar 09
GAWD, I want something to happen between you and Mr. Fed Ex just to shut Red Feather up!!! No offense Red, you very well may be right, but on the other hand, everyone that feels the opposite may very well be right too. The way you keep posting the same thing over and over makes it seem like you are the authority on men, and trust me, even Dr. Ruth doesn't know it all. All men are different. He may not be interested, and then again he may just be shy or hurt from a past relationship. All I am saying is you shouldn't rule out the possibility that something could happen, despite what has gone on. You are making it so cut and dried, and relationships of any kind are never like that.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Okay Dancing, I ALREADY HAVE HIS PHONE NUMBER!! So, he couldn't give me his phone number last night because I already have it.
1 person likes this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
7 Mar 09
Trust me there won't be any *soon* with mr.Fedx..he isn't into her otherwise he would have taken the opportunity to accept her invitation to keep him company and he would have asked her out..he didn't he gave her a hug because it may be a LONNNNNNg time before he delivers any parcels to her company..so if he was..he would have given his phone number for her to call because men who are interested..GIVE THEIR PHONE NUMBER and let you decide if you want to call him.
He hasn't and he won't..trust me.2 people like this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
Congratulations! You make it! You are true to yourself by being honest to yourself. This I feel is the strongest strength in one and personally I feel you do not owe anyone an apology. I can empathise your emotion and I trust you have absolute faith and belief in yourself.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Hi singlemommy Well since this is the first FedExGuy discussion I have happened to see (I've been not around much here lately), I'm not sorry you wrote another one.
First of all, do you WANT to move on? Just from reading this discussion and your side of it, it seems like there's something there. Are you interested in FedExGuy? It sounds like he might be interested in you so I wouldn't write off anything yet - unless something bad I don't know about happened with him.
As far as the meeting at the bowling alley, I feel if you're approached by someone or overhear them mentioning you, it's not an 'accident' and he probably meant for you to hear and talk to him. My take on the lady working at the bowling alley? Forget her. First of all, it's not up to her (or anybody) who talks to whom. It's not her business and it doesn't matter. ESPECIALLY if he is not dating her. Second, if she's jealous, that's HER problem, not yours. Enjoy his company, and be happy about the fact that it seems he enjoys yours Just MY two cents!
Well since this is the first FedExGuy discussion I have happened to see (I've been not around much here lately), I'm not sorry you wrote another one.
First of all, do you WANT to move on? Just from reading this discussion and your side of it, it seems like there's something there. Are you interested in FedExGuy? It sounds like he might be interested in you so I wouldn't write off anything yet - unless something bad I don't know about happened with him.
As far as the meeting at the bowling alley, I feel if you're approached by someone or overhear them mentioning you, it's not an 'accident' and he probably meant for you to hear and talk to him. My take on the lady working at the bowling alley? Forget her. First of all, it's not up to her (or anybody) who talks to whom. It's not her business and it doesn't matter. ESPECIALLY if he is not dating her. Second, if she's jealous, that's HER problem, not yours. Enjoy his company, and be happy about the fact that it seems he enjoys yours Just MY two cents! 2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Thank you so much for your two cents. I totally agree with you that this other woman doesn't have an opinion on the situation. It is none of her business even if she is a past girlfriend. He wanted to talk to me and it was a conversation between the two of us.
I've known him for over two years now, but we just recently, this year really started talking and flirting. I work with one of his close friends and I've gotten a lot of information on him from his friend. His friend told me just yesterday that I should ask him out, but I'm scared to. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I'm scared of rejection. His friend has told him that I wanted to date him, but he said that the FedEx guy did say that he liked me. Whether it is a friendship like or not, I'm not sure, but maybe it will turn into more. I told this friend yesterday that I didn't want to ask him out because he already knew that I was interested and if he was interested he would ask me out. The friend said, "Yeah, I told him that you were interested, but I joke around with him a lot and he may think that I'm joking".
I am happy with the "friendship" that I have with this guy. He seems really nice and you can never have too many friends. I don't have any family around where I live so having friends is a big plus for me. I'm always wanting to meet new people and make new friends, although being a single mother, that is hard to do. I don't get to go out often. I have a two year old so taking him bowling, etc isn't easy. Luckily, I found a sitter last night which gave me the opportunity to go bowling. I had a great time and getting to talk with Mr. FedEx made it better because I enjoy his friendship.
1 person likes this
@weepinwillow (107)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
Hi there. I have read some of the discussions that you've had. I think that we shouldn't be reading so much into this, although there are some signs there, it's good that you keep living your life and be happy. Just wait until he comes over more. I think here he did some act, but he should keep coming back for more. I can see he's interested, but in what particularly, we don't know yet. Maybe it's good that you keep yourself visible. But let him do the work. It's hard to really generalize men. Maybe he's the type who likes the chase, and not an impulsive one. You should take it as it comes, and enjoy what's there as it happens. That girl sees you as a rival, don't give her your piece of mind.
Good luck singlemommy, I hope things will turn out for the best.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Wow, with all the opinions I'm getting, I'm ready to get to the next chapter already.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
9 Mar 09
Honestly you sound like a little high school girl in love. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just simply saying be careful so you don't get your heart broke. I know you say your not getting your hopes up, but I have been there...be honest with yourself, no matter how much you don't want to get your hopes up they go up anyways.Just be careful!
Just be careful!2 people like this
@dmrone (746)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Let him know that you are interested, but let him make some moves of his own. Let him show you that he is interested in you. Once you show him you are interested then let him go from there. If he is truly interested in you, he will let you know, but don't sell yourself short.
2 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I have let him know that I am interested. He knows that. That's why I didn't make an attempt to talk to him last night. I let him do his thing. I felt if he was interested in me, then he would make it a point to come talk to me and thus, he did.
Maybe it was a friendly chat, maybe he is just trying to get to know me better, but either way. It was a good night.
1 person likes this
