arranged or love?????

You see our society has not become open even this modern age. The conservative attitude of parents still remains as far as marriage of their grown up children is concerned. They just cannot tolerate the fact that their sons/daughters is going to get married as per their wishes and choice or say their sons/daughters going for 'love marriage' and if their children do not obey them many of the parents severe ties with their children. I think if the parents show some kind of broadmindedness in this regard, things could improve. Hopefully, as the time is progressing parents would become more liberal, after all their children have to get married one day either through their own arrangements or through their own choice.

Hello my friend riyasam Ji, Example sited by you there is [b]"some sort of egoclash between the parents and the prospective bride or bridegroom..........."[/b] remains only in the begining, whereas, it remains with couple for life long. I always prefer arranged marraiges, as we are very happly couple even after 42 yrs of married life. May God bless them and have a great day.

Mine was an arranged marriage.Even in an arranged marriage one faces the same problems.In-laws really hassle you so much so that it all starts with some bitterness.

Arranged or love, when tings not going to happen it wouldn't and when it would it would. There is no formulae for a successful marriage or a healthy relationship between the two. I think, its wise on live separately after marriage when still thee relationship between the bride and groom's family is good or okay. But in our society, its difficult. A lot depends on the husband who has to take the decisive step, however bitter it may be. A time will come when the children will start to live separately from their parents as in western society after they get their job. I think that's the only way to reduce this bitterness. But i do not think the clash, so to speak, would end ever. Being diplomatic and letting go helps but not all can do that. Its tough mabel, very tough!

I had a love married and there was much problems from my side of the family. My inlaws welcomed me with open arms into their family. My family finally came to terms with the marriage but my relationship with my family did not improve much after that.

Yeah in love marriages there are so many problems but in arranged marriage there is no problem not at all so I prefer Arranged marriages.

I think that the love marriages are only for the mentally matured people who do not get married attracted towards the physical appearance alone. The physical attraction towards even the most handsome person will wean away in time. May be it is only a mater of time. People must have solid reasons to select a life partner or else it is a mill stone round the neck throughout their life. And if they are not confident of choosing the right partner better leave it to the experienced and most concerned parents who know what they are doing and who have only one thing in their mind ,the welfare of their children.

Yes there is another way. Parents need to mind their own businesses, and quit interfering in their children's lives. My choice of a partner was not what my parents would have had in mind (my husband is actually a few years older than they are, and he lived out of the country at the time, so they did not meet him until about a year after we got married) but they didn't say anything, and when he finally did come to Canada, they grew to love him in no time. They knew that if they were to cut me off from the family, ti would be their loss, not mine, because they would be the ones doing the cutting.

I don't know what you mean, either the parents arrange the marriage the couple find their own marriage partner, I had a girlfriend her marriage was arranged by the parents but she got to see and decide if she wanted to marry each of the suitors that came.

Look I think definitely we can't say beforehand what will happen. It is said marriage is big gamble like thing. So sometimes it work, sometimes it does not. But from practical point of view, you get to know the person at least some part. In arranged marriage it is set beforehand whom you are going to live life with, you know him or not well.

It is better to start the love first then arrange the marriage so that there is a big chance for a marriage to succeed. There are those who are in love but still their marriage did not succeed. How much more if there is no love and then forced to get into marriage just because it was forced and arranged by parents. Although there are very few who still were able to make a good marriage out of that setup, I still believe a person has the right to find his or her own love. It is a right of every person and that right should not be deprived of anyone. Being a parent does not mean having the right to choose the person our children will going to love and marry. But of course we can always guide them and give our precious advice.

i cannot arrange the marriage if theres no love

Hi friend, I like arranged marriage only. Having arrange is the best and no problem in making arrange marriage. For me best arrange marriage,love marriage also good but some problems after getting married for bride or bridegroom side. In love marriage if both parents sides are agreed and right signal for marriage no problems will in future and never in life. arranged and love marriage were good. have a great day.

Hi Riyasam,I had been married for almost 5 years now with 2 year old kid.I had a love marriage,our background,culture,customs and traditions everything was totally different.I was so lucky I have loving supportive family.They never objected to my marriage although there are few who objected but my parents are really very understanding they let me go ahead with my decisions.Same goes with my husband parents too.I am so happily married now.My in laws don't stay with us, so it is not all a problem for me.They do come and drop by to see us and stay with us for a week or two.

It is really good if both are in love and the parents and relatives of both side would agree to the relationship. That is the thing to consider for partners who want to get married. There might be reasons why both side clash?

Do you know if the divorce rate is higher or lower than arranged marriage in a love marriage? Many people here are not getting married at all they just live together. The problem with this is the laws have not caught up with this trend and so it complicates their lives and the lives of any children they have.