If your computer suddenly gets the power to speak

Talking Computer - Who know what all has it got stored up in it's mind over the years?
By Bala
@balasri (26537)
India
March 31, 2009 6:56am CST
what will it tell you first?Any interesting guesses?
15 people like this
54 responses
• United States
31 Mar 09
If my computer could speak it would probably have the language skills to make a sailor blush LOL it would no doubt tell me.... "get the *bleep* off me woman!*bleep* dont you ever get it a *bleeping* rest? Go *bleeping* find something else to *bleeping* do with your *bleep* time!"
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
I can hear Zu talking there.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
Please don't act so innocent Zu.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 09
LOL I wonder where my computer got its language skills from
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
31 Mar 09
Mine would more than likely scream at me to get a life! I of course would then have no choice but to turn off it's anti-virus software as punishment.....
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
Won't it become more violent an unpredictable.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
So you are fully armed to meet your PC face to face.
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
31 Mar 09
Fear not Bala! With the protection software off, the viruses will render it weak. It won't stand a chance!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
12 Apr 09
'I need a break'! is what my computer is going to tell me. I use it for almost everything I can think of! And when I am done (and most often even before I am), my son or husband needs it. My computer is over worked and I guess I should be getting it a gift on 'Computer Day' just to show my appreciation!(even though my keyboard and mouse decide to give up on me when I need them the most)
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
12 Apr 09
When they become to the level of talking I think they will understand how indispensable they are in every sphere of work and put up with our torture.
2 people like this
@mayka123 (16555)
• India
31 Mar 09
My computer may tell me to stop interacting so much with friends and do more work!!!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
Is the color of computer green?
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (16555)
• India
31 Mar 09
The screen seems to be turning green just now
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
My guess is proven to be right.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 09
Hi Balasri, interesting question you have posted! My computer would most probably complain that it's working 24/7, and demand that it be given days or hours off.
@balasri (26537)
• India
1 Apr 09
Happen to be the general complain the computers are supposed to make as per the other responses.We are hard on our computers.Aren't we?
@benny128 (3615)
31 Mar 09
mine will tell me to get my hands off its mouse wink wink
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.Really a great one Benny.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Apr 09
Well mine would probably go into shock since im never on it as much and second of all it yell at me and tell me quit being such a pervert :D
@benny128 (3615)
31 Mar 09
he he he glad you liked that response he he he
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16556)
• India
31 Mar 09
my computer is in the living room where there is no ac.and i think the computer requires a cooling effect ,as i keep it on for long periods of time.and also i donot clean my computer regularly(laziness) and due to the pollution,the outer surface gets dirty very fast.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
So what do you expect it to say to you?
@balasri (26537)
• India
1 Apr 09
May be you have been trying to make it warm hearted and made it alive in the process.
@riyasam (16556)
• India
31 Mar 09
i think it would say,i too need some rest,you are heating me up too mch.
• Canada
5 Oct 09
if my computer suddenly got the ability to speak, it would probably sing me a Croatian folkslong. LOL I've downloaded enough of those into this computer that it probably will know the words to them off by heart, without even thinking about the original program files. LOL
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
6 Oct 09
You seem to have a great vibe with your computer to say that it would also like those Croatian folk songs.My computer has a different taste and it stealthily erases the songs I download which it doesn't like.
@lynnchua (3412)
• Singapore
30 Apr 09
Get your hand off me and stop eating and drinking right in front of me that make me feel hungry too.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
30 Apr 09
Why don't you try feeding it a little in that case Lynnchua.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
13 Apr 09
Speak with a mind or without a mind? I think my computer still can speak but it doensn't have mind inside it so, it can't be scary. If it would create an artificial mind then it could be a problem. It will definitely stop me from watching movies and work more on mylot! LOL
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
16 Apr 09
Must be an intelligent and wise computer.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
17 Apr 09
May be.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
16 Apr 09
Must be otherwise, how would it understand my motive of using it. The next thing it would do it that it will stop working when it gets tired, isn't it?
1 person likes this
@ralphido (842)
• India
31 Mar 09
well.. my computer is rather funny for a machine.. Last week it got broke.. some trouble with the motherboard... and few days later i got it back fixed... when i first started up the system... a rather hilarious message awaited me.. it said.. "Keyboard not Detected! Press F1 to Continue..!!" Now if the computer could speak, it would be a very joyful and refreshing companion to have around you...
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
1 Apr 09
That is a god one both Ralphido and Pleiades .
@Pleiades (846)
• United States
31 Mar 09
*LOL* That's priceless! That remindes me of a story. A tech was helping someone with their computer issue and told the man to "hit any key". Moments later and the man finaly speaks up, "I'm looking all over my keyboard and I can't find the 'any' key. Where is it located?" *Pleiades
@Pleiades (846)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I see we all suffer the samething. My computer would say, "Get a life...he's not into you. You're not going to get life's naswers from me. The house needs cleaning. There's a huge wide screen TV and Xbox 360* downstairs with your name on it...practice Mortal Combat to kick your son's tush. Uuummm...don't have your children stand on my friends (my scanners on the floor). For heaven's sake...don't interrupt me when I'm doing a virus scan! Can't you see I'm THINKING!?!?!? Geeze! You expect me to do everything! I'm going to have a nervous breakdown here one day and then where will you be? Nowhere so there! Best treat me well. Get some better music in my system...I can't stand that Barney *BLEEP*! I don't care who loves who...I want to hear songs about violence and vengence! Yeah! That's the stuff that will get my hard drive whirling! Oh...and thanks, though...for turning me off at nights. I need my sleep too." *Pleiades
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
3 Apr 09
I think that I have waited enough to give you the BR which I have decided to give you the moment I read it.Excellent response.Please accept my BR.
@balasri (26537)
• India
3 Apr 09
The pleasure is mine.
@Pleiades (846)
• United States
3 Apr 09
I will accept your BR with pleasure! Thanks for providing me with such an entertaining discussion to not only participate, but to read. *Pleiades
• United States
31 Mar 09
Wow! That would be scary. Mine would probably call me an idiot and turn itself off for good. Back in the day, I knew what was what with computers. That's been 10+ years ago. Today, I'm doing good just to maintain an e-mail, facebook, myspace, and now MyLot. Just last night I had to call my internet service provider becuse I didn't have service. Turns out that I had accidently hit the standby button on the cable modem. Yep! I'm a genius, I know. The only other thing that my computer would say to me is....GET A LIFE!!!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
3 Apr 09
Thanks EliFromMN.Tough to figure out who is having a tough time with the other.You or the computer.
@Pleiades (846)
• United States
31 Mar 09
*lol* I too use my computer for emails, Facebook, Myspace and Mylot...we have that in common. *Pleiades
• United States
1 Apr 09
awesome me 3 and I also play on pogo and shoot pool when im on
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
It'll tell me to get a life. lol! I'm in front of the computer almost all the time. I'm addicted to it :))
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
18 Apr 09
Welcome to the club my friend.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
31 Mar 09
Ha ha! That's a good question my friend... now let me think! It would probably tell me to stop overworking it, and to get a new keyboard that doesn't confuse it so much as the current one. It keeps typing the wrong words, lol. Brightest Blessings, my friend.
@balasri (26537)
• India
1 Apr 09
Oh ,so the problem is with the key board.I thought I am responsible for the atrocious typos made.I will keep an eye on my keyboard.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
4 Apr 09
Thanks for the tip off Darkwing.I will exorcise the keyboard before I could do any exercise with it.
@Darkwing (21583)
3 Apr 09
Yes, you watch it closely my friend! It can be a mischievous little devil when it wants to be. It keeps shifting the letters around and everything until you're too confused to type any more!
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
It would probably have a lot of complaints, most of them too technical for me to understand but, the ones that I would know would be 'upgrade me~!' or 'clean me every once in a while~!' I try to do the latter since I could not do the first one as of yet.. (^_^")
@balasri (26537)
• India
2 Apr 09
Nice to be reminded anyway.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
12 Apr 09
You said it right Ratyz.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
Seeing it everyday should at least do that without the computer saying anything
@Dasari100 (3791)
• Anantapur, India
7 Apr 09
To be frank most of them get mad because people are their who gets mad when their computer doesn't work any more but they don't have patience anyhow they need to have patience to control their mind.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
7 Apr 09
I think that I am a very patient man.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
31 Mar 09
"Get off me! Leave me alone! Back off! It's not my fault! Stop yelling at me!" To this I would reply, "You know what you did!" And then they would take me away for a rest...
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
31 Mar 09
Wow Paula.You seemed to know what you are doing.
• Israel
1 Apr 09
He'll tell me to stop teasing his CD-ROM :P
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
1 Apr 09
His Rom must be very attractive and handsome I think.
7 Apr 09
After the hours of work fidiling around with it and trying to get it to work and kicking it and poking it with screw drivers if i could speak it probs tell me to go do one!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
9 Apr 09
I don't think that you can expect anything less than that.
1 person likes this