Why so much day care for children?

@bamakelly (5191)
United States
April 17, 2009 8:12am CST
This might have been a topic for controversy in the past however I want to bring to light the idea of so many working people out there that leave there children in day care from the time of infancy. I have heard of some parents doing this and I do understand that these days there is a need for two incomes. I think that people ought to wait on having children instead of letting the day cares raise their children. After all it is the day care teachers that see their children's first steps, first words and other achievements half of the time. I think it is a backward system. Now I am sure that there are going to be some dissenters in the group that don't like my comments however I didn't want to bash anyone I am just trying to understand what is behind just not being at home with the child and being in their life. When it comes to two parents in a household I think that something could be worked out so the children can come first.
6 people like this
20 responses
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
I can only talk about me. . . i mean, i can only share my own experience. When I gave birth, my husband and I decided that I would stop working and take care of our daughter instead. I have no regrets that we have done it because I can see that my daughter is doing well both with her mental IQ and emotional development.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you for replying. There are some like yourself that do decide to stop working and stay at home to care for their children. I commend you for your actions. And I can see that it stands to make sense that your daughter is doing just as well mentally and emotionally as a child that was in the day care system.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I agree with you. Part of the fault can go to the womens' movement who told women the lie that they can have it all. If mothers would stay home to raise their children, there would be NO unemployment! We would have well adjusted children, there wouldn't be so many divorces. People don't realize how much it costs to work. Daycare, clothing, lunches, transportation, car payments and insurance, bus fare, car maintenance, buying convenience foods because there's no time to cook, I could go on and on. When I had my children I could not imagine leaving them to go to work. It would be horrible. I think there is a real disconnection between parents and children nowadays, no bonding and no real relationships because of mothers working. I know there are some who absolutely have to work because they are alone but they would love to stay home. In Germany, a mom is paid by the state to stay home the first two years. We should consider something like that.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I am not putting down mothers for doing what they have to do. I am sorry if I sounded offensive in this manner. However I am trying to get a point across as to how parents are doing these things.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I am moving to Germany!lol. I didn't know that the country paid a mother for two years and you are right. The government could do well to help out the mothers in the world. You are so right and I continue to like the way you think in regards to some of the other discussions of mine that you responded to. It is so true about how so many years ago we as women were told we could have it all. But the fact that sacrifices were going to be made was not figured into it was it? Like the point of my conversation here. The fact that you just can't be two places at once. You can't be at work and also raise your children at the same time. It is also so true about the disconnection between the parents and the children. I have seem all of this first hand in my own personal connections with others. There seems to be no time spent with the kids. The parents are busy working and the children are off doing their own thing. Are the parents reading to their children or is that just left up to the day cares? Thanks for replying friend.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 09
I am sure there would be more stay at home moms if the economy didn't force them out the door. Even when they aren't single parents, women still have to work in order to keep up with the bills. I am not talking about the extra things. I am talking about the basics such as food and clothing and a roof over the children's heads. Without all that, nothing else will matter. Women shouldn't be put down because they are doing what they have to do. That's ridiculous.
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
well for one thing some people have to work all their lives there husband's will never make enough money to live on, if they waited for better days they would never have children, children cost money to raise, single parents have to work or be on welfare, some people have darn good jobs like being a lawyer or doctor and their patients would suffer or they could lose their business or jobs if they took too much time off of work, and if you are a person who just loves to work you continue you to so do, it would be the same if somebody decided to force you to go out to work to make more money if you preferred to stay home, it is a personal choice and frankly should be left that way as far as I am concerned.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you for responding winterose and I do understand that people have to work all of their lives. It is just the fact that children sometimes have to pay for their parents' decisions to not be in their lives and send them to day care from morning til night. I have seen all of this go on first hand. The child is left in the day care center literally crying from six a.m until six p.m. while the parents were going through a bad divorce. What a shame. I do understand that it is a personal choice but parents in this country are busy doing their own things and I can see from my observations that the children are not connected with their parents the way that they should be. I guess you could say that I got some more time on my hands to witness these things because I am a stay at home mother. Parents also leave children with relatives all day long or even all summer season long and pick them up at the end of the day never to see or know their accomplishments and there is the continuation of no connection between them.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
I have also seen first hand mothers who stay at home and neglect and abuse their children, it works both ways, children in professional daycare centers learn to social early and that is an important function they also do better in school because they are being taught from a younger age, and they are less likely to be shy introverted children.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
18 Apr 09
I understand your point of view. However my son has never been placed in day care and he is five years old. He is pretty much an extroverted child. And I think that he adjusts just as well being at home with me and is ready for kindergarten both socially and academically speaking. I do see that children can experience neglect at home as well. I guess it just comes down to the individual parenting techniques and the time spent with the children.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Hi, bamakelly! I do agree with you! I don't want my child to stay in a daycare from start to finish. I want to be able to spend my time with all of my kids. I am a stay at home mother. I have let my kids go to daycares. Just the two of them. But, it was only because I had no choice. One because I was working a full-time job for eight hours, 5 days a week. And the other time was when I was in a Family Life Skills Class. The last time was when I was pregnant with my third child and I had to go to a pregnancy class. I was offered to let my kids stay in the daycare at the church. I have also let my family members keep them. Just some of them. I don't want anyone spending too much time with my child, than I am. I want to see all of those special milestones for my own eyes. I chose to stay at home with my kids because I want to establish a bond. I also want to have one on one time with them. I want to be a mother to them. I could never undersatnd how a parent can just let their kids stay at daycare all of the time and not take time to spend with their child at the home. I know that some parents who may have the day off will still let their child go to daycare. I see it all. That is why I devote myself to being at home with my kids. I don't want the daycare to raise them. I want to raise them. Daycare is my last option. I am my child's first caregiver! You are right, bamakelly, parents should not let daycare be an antidote of raising their child.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
17 Apr 09
But on the other side.. Some parents have no choice but to leave their kids at the daycare. They may be a single parent, for whatever reason. And they don't have anyone that they can trust to keep their kids. So, they choose to let the daycare keep them. Which I understand, because the child is not old enough to keep themselves. So, the parent has to work to pay bills, because they probably have no one that they can just stay with. All this is understandable. But, if I had to let my child/children stay at a daycare, then I will make sure that I at least take some time out with them each and everyday. I will still do my best in teaching and helping them. I don't knock any reason down. We all have to do what we have to do in order to make it. But, I will not make an excuse for a parent that neglects their child.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you so much for your complete understanding. There are going to be different opinions on this matter for sure. I am glad that you see where I am coming from. I have been able to enjoy the moments in my child's life where he has learned things and is happy to present me with each achievement right there in front of me not teachers that are watching him round the clock in the day care centers. You have a great way of looking at things and sound like a caring and loving mother. It is just not a good idea to let these centers raise them and see all of the child's accomplishments first hand even before the parents do. Sometimes I think that parents just want it both ways.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
17 Apr 09
i realizw what u are saying. it is a shame that people have to work & leave their kids. i didn't have a choice myself, it was just me to support them. i was lucky that the grandparents helped w/mine. i still missed alot of special times but i had to work.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
17 Apr 09
i was very fortunate.i'd love to keep my grandson but don't know if that would be a good idea if they let me. i already spoil him rotten. lol
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you for your response. I do agree that it is a shame that people have to work and leave their children. Some people might not have a choice. I am just glad that I can be at home with my son and teach him things. You are lucky that you had the grandparents help you out. I am not really sure how much help I would get if I was in a tough situation like that.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 09
Unfortunately, most people will never be able to stay home to raise the children. If people waited to have children until they could do that, they would never have children. And no, that isn't an option. I was a stay at home mother and I loved it. That isn't to say that working parents don't have a wonderful relationship with their children. There are drawbacks to both sides of the coin. My grandchildren do go to daycare, well two of them. My daughter has to work in order to pay for things like, well, housing and food. These babies have been able to learn so much faster because of it. When my daughter took my granddaughter out of daycare when she was pregnant with the second baby, my granddaughter still learned but not nearly as much or as fast. The third grandson has been home with his mother from day one and he is getting close to the two year old mark and can say very few words, has no concept of how to get along with other children etc. I am very suprised that this is even a discussion because frankly, both sides of the coin do what they do for a very good reason.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
First let me make mention that this discussion was opened just like a lot of other discussions. That is why we are here. To either raise awareness or try to get the opinions of others. I am not saying parents are all wrong for working and wanting to take care of their families. But I also think the answer is right there for you. You say that if people waited to have children they would never have them. The point is that wouldn't you want to be able to afford them and be able to be in their lives also. Sometimes people have to think before they do the things that they do. The children are in these day care centers practically from the onset of life. As for the differences in how advanced a child is in his education I can understand that a child in a day care has some more interaction with others and could learn things there but it doesn't mean that a child at home with his mother can't be just as advanced. My son is a well adjusted child. He is five years old and he knows just about as much if not more then fellow children his own age. It has to do with the parenting and how much the parent spends with the child. I spend time with my son and read to him. Today's technology allows for things like educational television. My son learns from our computer that we have in our home. He likes to even teach himself things. This coming year he will be attending kindergarten. He will not be home with me however it is the law that he goes to school. That is the point where the children can begin interactions with other children in a more educational type of environment. My child has friends in the neighborhood. He can get along well and converse with others just as well as other kids that are practically raised in the day care centers.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 09
Yes it is an open discussion just like all others and therefore I stated my opinion on the matter. Not everyone has the option that you apparently do. It doesn't mean that those children aren't happy and well adjusted children because they attend daycare. My granddaughter and grandson are just fine in that setting as well as being at home with their parents when they are not working. They are happy and smiling all the time. They haven't suffered to be in a daycare setting. As I stated in the earlier post. I was a stay at home mom with my children. I loved being there for them. Was it absolutely necessary for me to be there every second of the day? No. I chose to do it and I had the option to. It's great when a parent has the option but I find it very offensive that you would judge others because they didn't choose the same path as you did. And no, if most people waited to have a child until they didn't have to work, there would be very few new babies in the world today. Blame the economy if you want but not the parents who do it because that is how they feed their children.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I have the option to stay home but that doesn't mean that life isn't easy. My husband works full time but we are still struggling. I don't really have a means of getting to work because I live in a pretty rural area. Nevertheless in the long run I am happy to be able to be with my son and teach him for myself and he can be just as well adjusted as any other child. If you have taken notice there are some other respondents that see exactly where I am coming from and don't find my opinions offensive and can see exactly where I am coming from.
@GardenGerty (157050)
• United States
17 Apr 09
There are some parents still doing the stay at home thing, you just do not hear about it, it is not a big business. I know parents who work opposite shifts so that they do not use daycare. I even went so far as to have the daycare in my home, so that I could be home with my kids. My daughter stays home, and budgets like crazy to do so. I know others that make similar sacrifices. I believe that with the current employment downtrend you may see more parents at home with their kids. It is sad to say, though, that there are some kids that are better off in daycare than in their own homes. I favor home based daycare over large daycares, because kids still need to know what it is like to be at home and in a home. My comments also may be controversial.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you GardenGerty for your reply. I think that a home based day care might not be a bad way to go. The children can be in a learning environment along with being in the house. Kind of the best of both worlds. It just seems that a lot of sacrifices have to be made when it comes to children and parents either working or not.
• United States
17 Apr 09
I really don't have any issues with daycare. I'm not sure why so many have problems with day care either. Daycares don't raise children, families raise children. Children only spend a small amount of time in daycare. Daycares help busy families teach their children and help children work on skills that busy parents may not have time to work on. If people waited to have children, well, we wouldn't have children! It's just not an option anymore to have two people stay at home. Daycare costs a fraction of a person's income compared to housing, food, car payments, insurance, doctor visits and everything else. Parent's aren't just dropping their kids off and forgetting about them. Daycares provide a very valuable resource and I don't understand why people knock it so much. Those that have an issue with it, tend to feel threatened about their parenting skills I've found. They're offended that someone thinks that they're just as good at taking care of their kids as they are and I really don't see daycare as that. I see it as a place of learning and socializing and working on valuable skills to prepare them for preschool which prepares them for elementary school.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
19 Apr 09
The issue that I have with day care is that a lot of them come across as babysitters for parents while they are at work. I worked in one once. It is not any kind of school. The children play, get fed and take naps. There was an incident where there was a little boy that cried all day long each and every day. Children raised at home with a stay at home mother can have all the rewards a child needs just as much as whatever a child might gain in day cares. I by no means feel the least bit threatened by day care. As a matter of fact I feel the up most confidence about my abilities as a mother in teaching my son and caring for him. My son is an extroverted well adjusted child and he plays well with others. He is a normal child. Sure he might be a little selfish and not want to always share. I have seen the same actions from children that were in the day care system since practically the onset of birth. The child is a few months old and there is the parent already dropping him off at the center. There is a very important bonding time between mother and child. I think there are even incidences where the parent might even have a day off from work and still takes the child to the day care center. I watched a program once where I saw a father do this just so he could spend his day the way he wanted to. It's not right.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
17 Apr 09
It seems to me that I read a study about children raised in child care and those that had a stay at home parent. The out come of the study was it's not how much time you spend with your children that counts it's the quality of that time that makes a difference.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
18 Apr 09
This makes a lot of sense savy. That is also a great way of looking at things. The time we spend with our children is so precious. There is quantity of time and quality. The quality that we offer our children is something they will remember forever whether the parent is working or not. I am getting a lot of great responses and trying to look at both sides now. Thank you so much for entering the conversation.
@sassy28 (834)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I was able to bring my kids to work with me, actually I still do. When they turned two I started them in a preschool. They went for half a day, that gave them time to adjust to other kids and also gave me a break.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Oh that sounds like a good idea sassy. It works out quite well for you then. I thank you for replying to my post today. There might not be a lot of people that will agree with my view point but I just feel serious about the issue of day care centers raising children from morning to evening.
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Hi bamakelly...My family is one of those families you speak about. We are a bit luckier than most because our "day care" is my parents' house. And their house is 10 minutes away from my office so I visit with my son at lunch and feed him each day. My husband and I just got married a couple of years ago. We met and fell in love late in our lives, well beyond the usual ages for child bearing years. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. We consider ourselves blessed to have a happy healthy 9 month old now. If we waited too much longer I might not have been able to conceive as I am older. I have guilt every single day even though I know he is being well cared for with my parents. I am currently looking for ways to make money without having to work in an office each day but it is difficult. My son does come first in our lives - I work so he can have healthcare, food, clothes, shelter, a college savings plan, etc. I do only want the best for him.
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you dd...I try not to feel guilty but in my heart I want to be there for every single second of my son's life. Thankfully all the big milestones he has done in front of us - I guess he saved them for us: the first time he rolled over, stood up, took a step, grew teeth, etc. Thanks so much for the kind words.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 09
You should not feel guilty about making sure that your child has everything he needs. No one should have to feel guilty about their parenting choices when it comes to work or stay home. It is usually not a choice that people have but more a necessity in life that makes people have to work and leave their children in daycare of the care of others. It is a shame though that it truly isn't a choice but a need. If it were a choice, I am nearly positive that many more parents would stay at home to raise their children. Working moms are just as good at parenting as stay at homes. It's all in how you handle the time that you do spend with your children.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 09
I stayed at home with my first 4 children and worked part time at night when my husband would come home so my children would always be with a parent and not a babysitter. we had to watch our pennies but it was worth it for one of us to be there. my youngest child i was home with for 3 years and then my husband decided that she should be in daycare and i should work fulltime because everyone else did it. we argued about it. i put her in daycare and she is a totally different child than the other 4 are. i was miserable with her being in daycare and my husband and i eventually divorced. not due to just the daycare issue but it didn't help. i don't fault others for their decisions but i always felt for myself that i wanted to be home raising my children. yes financially you make sacrifices when two incomes will afford you a better home, car, etc, but to me it was more important that my kids had me around. the 4 are adults now and they all feel like they had a happy childhood.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
19 Apr 09
You are so right in what you are saying. I understand your point and I truly appreciate where you are coming from. The idea that every one else does it doesn't mean that you also have to work full time and send your child into the day care system as well. The day care system didn't seem to work for you. It works for the other parents because they need a babysitter while they work. I can appreciate that people need to work to put food on the table but some can sacrifice and stay at home. Lowering standards such as having one less car or one less pair of dress shoes isn't going to hurt these people. There is just no replacing being at home with the mother and I commend you for your choices. I am awarding you with best response NuttyMomma.
@csrobins (1120)
• United States
20 Apr 09
I don't think it can be worked out with the way our lifestyles are today. There are too many expenses and not enough jobs that pay enough so that a parent can stay home and have more than one or two kids. I'm sure people woul dlike to do that, but it is more expensive for most families now a days to do that. One income for a whole family is difficult. The younger the kids are the less income is needed sometimes which can help a parent stay home when as it is most important during the younger years, but if the family cannot make it on one income because a type of job doesn't pay enough as another one might, or because they have excess expenses, then I think it is acceptable. Plus, what if both parents want to work? It can get boring staying at home and even adults need motivation and a sense of achievement that staying at home cannot always provide.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
when i gave birth i thought of giving up my work for i know that anything that happens to my child would be my responsibility and an unforgivable offense no matter what. however, amidst all the confusion, i just thought of trying to get a nanny and if i can't find one that would be the clearest sign that i should resign from work. i found a nanny and continued with my work. fate intervened with a change in management in my workplace and before i knew it i have to tell the nanny 2 months after i resigned that my hysband and i cannot afford her anymore. i became a stay at home mom until my child turned 3 which is his age now and needs to go to school. his godmother had been asking me to work in her school and i've turned her down 2x already because i felt my child needs me more. this last time she asked again and i felt torn. i want to be there, still, for my child. however, i have the feeling that his godmother would try to make my work schedule in her school flexible so i can be given more time with my son. this was the thing she always mentions whenever she would offer me work. i was torn between going back to work and staying as a stay at home mom forever. the only thing that made me realize that i have to try to take up the job offer is i know that when my child grows up he would somehow regret it that he was the reason why mommy chose not to work.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thank you Ritchelle for replying to the discussion. There are a few different views on the subject but I still can't see children being placed in these centers morning til evening. The children could possibly be hurt and upset. I have seen it for myself.
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
there was a feature done in crime and investigation network that tackled deaths of children in day cares. i think day cares in the united states were asked to secure licenses to operate. still, that show of crime and investigation network said that it is not a 100% foolproof. i guess, this is one of those things that we have to give it up to the great someone up there to take care of things. we cannot expect all women to give up their jobs for the sake of their children. even wives of public figures who do public service and have their lives open to criticism still work and do public service and leave behind their children for a while. we can only do so much physically to make sure everything is well. that is why they say we cannot live on bread alone. we cannot do it on our own. somebody up there should help us. all we need to do sometimes is ask.
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
17 Apr 09
Nowadays child day care is becoming more and more of a regular site. Parents not only choose day care for their children because they have to work, the expertise that the people who work their have nowadays and the fact they can meet up with a lot of new children and learn social skills is an important trigger aswell. Once families started to become smaller there was less to learn social wise in the family itsself; there were less children to play with. Day care can be a solution for this. Also, when you are a single parent and don't have any relatives or friends who can help out, day care can be a blessing. I work in daycare myself but I can relate to what you say about the first steps and everything. I wouldn't want to miss that for the world. I am personally not a big supporter of bringing your child to day care more than 3 or 4 days a week as I wouldn't want to miss out either, but I do respect that some parents don't have a choice or trust that as long as their child is in good hands that all is well. I think the crucial point in this discussion is the quality of the daycare and the time you let your child spend there. You can also miss out on your childs first steps if you are out with a friend for a single day; there is allways a chance, you can only try to limit it.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
19 Apr 09
I, personally agree with you....but that doesn't mean that I disagree with the others who choose daycare. In fact, I'm going through this very same argument with my husband. I teach at a school and my younger son goes to the same school. I need to be there for another 2 hours after school hours. My son then refuses to stay inside a daycare setting (1. Because he knows I am around and 2. Because he doesn't like being cooped up inside after 3 hours in the classroom). I got a better offer at work which means more working hours. I don't want to take up the offer and put my child in daycare (like you said I'll be missing out on a lot of things and won't be seeing him most of the day)....my husband insists I take up the offer because it is good for my career (and he also doesn't want to put our son in another daycare...I need to handle him too) I was home full time with our older son and know how much I enjoyed it (though it was tiring ...he kept me on my toes all the time) Having said this, I also know that busy parents can't give that kind of time and attention I gave to my older son....and some people are not patient either. Then I feel it is better to let someone who is good at it do the raising of the child. In the long run, this might benefit the child more than staying home with a tired and cranky parent and losing out on so many good things.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16556)
• India
17 Apr 09
Truth be told, enrolling your child to a daycare center can pose both positive and negative effects on children. Ever since women started working regularly and being employed by certain companies, more and more children are being brought to daycare centers where they are usually cared for and taught while their parents are tied down with ways on how to generate income into their households. not all day care providers can provide you with the assurance of giving your child quality education and care requirements. Some daycare centers do not have enough staffs and workers who can attend to every child’s need that’s why in some cases, some staffs and employees of certain daycare centers end up to become very irritable and indifferent when it comes to dealing with children.
• United States
19 Apr 09
Unfortunatly we don't make enough to put our kids in daycare & we are not "poor" enough to get assitance & have no family physically + mentallycapable of watching them for us. Therefore I've been home for the past 5 yrs and within the past year I picked up a pt job that works around hubby's schedule so we can atleast say we have some grocery money comming in. But I think some people have kids and like myself don't realize how much work they are and how expesive they are til they get here. My SIL she can't stand being home and when she is home she watches tv all day and has her kids do everything. It's like she had her kids to be her lil maids so she can sit on her tush on her weekend. But fortunatly for her they have plenty of family around to watch her kids where I don't. SO I'm counting down the years til I can return atleast 3/4's time to the rat race & hopefully improve our lives with that including my sanity!
1 person likes this
@madasp (563)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I stayed home with my older kids until they were all in school. Now that we have our new son I've left the work world behind again until he is at least in preschool. It was a pretty easy decision for us that I would stay home with our older kids and when we found out we were expecting another we just automatically started planning for me to stay home again. As you said, my main reason to stay home is so that I am there to see all their firsts and enjoy every one of their learning experience. If asked why we struggle financially just so I can be home, my husband states very plainly that he doesn't want his children raised by anyone else but us. On the financial side it is tough, but to me its worth it. Another thought that I've always had, and in this economy with unemployment at an alltime high, I think that if more mothers (who have the option) were to pull themselves out of the workforce, it would actually do our economy some good
1 person likes this
@chastity7 (104)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Why, you ask, are so many children in daycare? because their parents like to be able to provide food for them. I myself used to be a stay at home mom for my oldest daughter, but then my house burned down, and we were left with nothing, they reposessed my car and we were in a mess. then we got pregnant with a son who had a rare tumor and incurred massive medical bills. they put a lawsuit against us and garnished my husband's wages. I had no choice but to get a job. Even as it is, we are barely scraping by, on two paychecks. The kids are fortunate enough not to be in 'real daycare' , their auntie looks after them for me, and I only work 4 days a week, but my point is for some, that is literally their ONLY choice. Apart from collecting welfare and whatever other limited resources are out there, that is my only option. In a perfect world, I would be home with my babies every day, unfortunately at this time that is not feasible. Also, alot of women are single mothers (or guys are single fathers), and their only option is to work. So if they are just going to work to 'get away from their kids' or something, I understand that being unnacceptable, but for some of us that have no choice and already feel guilty enough, I just make sure I spend every single minute I am home with them, and make sure they know that Mommy loves them and has to provide for them and I think also that instills a good work ethic in them, especially my daughters. I want them to know, this is not the 1920's anymore, and they can be mommies and wives, and still have a career too. So, to each their own, but I think everyone just needs to do what works for THEM.
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