Is engaging in online relationships while you are married cheating?

@mehale (2200)
United States
April 18, 2009 12:20pm CST
Ok, this could be an interesting debate....if you are either married or in a serious relationship, would you consider it to be cheating if your spouse or significant other was engaging in an online relationship with someone else? This would include chatting, online S*x, etc. Would you feel as if you had been betrayed? I mean lets face it now days this stuff is everywhere on the internet! I think it is actually cheating...I mean if you are in a relationship and you are happy with your significant other then why would you need to be involved in another online relationship? What do you think....is this ok, or is it cheating?
16 people like this
37 responses
@bubblyapple (2653)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
I believe that if you are in a realationship, whether online or not, you are in a relationship. You shouldn't be involve with someone else online or otherwise. If you have real realtionship and an online one then that is cheating. It doesn't matter if the online thing is just a fling or not. Still, technically speaking, you are cheating your partner one way or the other.
@mehale (2200)
• United States
18 Apr 09
That would be my feelings on the subject as well. I know that it bothers me when I find him in places that are not very innocent, but he says that he is a man and that is the way men are....they need this HHHMMMMM...maybe I should turn the tables on him and let him catch me where He says it is ok for him to be but doesn't think it is ok for me to be.......LOL
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
That would be funny! But something that is calling for more trouble! LOL. I don't see why men have such double standards. They could do things because they are MEN and that's part of them or so they claim.
2 people like this
@pal7604 (98)
• Sweden
18 Apr 09
ABSOLUMENT! This is not ok!
2 people like this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I don't think it is ok either, the thing is that now days with the conveniences of the internet more and more people seem to be getting a bit lax in the moral department! It is nice to see that quite a few people do still agree with me though!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
18 Apr 09
I suppose that would be included in the statement that said if you look at a woman with lust and even though not doing anything you have cheated in your heart or a man if you are a woman. Friends online would be all right, but not if you are going to talk hot and heavy about s*x and things like that, ask perverted questions, and if he talks to her like he does to you in your intimate moments, it is cheating.
@mehale (2200)
• United States
18 Apr 09
I tend to think the same way. It IS a very fine line, but when the talk turns dirty, it would seem to me to be very wrong...
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
19 Apr 09
Hello mehale, It depends. If you don't know the other person, and seriously engaged on online chatting with that person, I consider that as cheating though you don't talk about serious stuff. For example, if you meet someone online and start to chat with that person non-stop, days and nights and forget about the existence of your partner/spouse and prefer to chat with your online friend rather than spending quality time with your loved ones, that is a serious matter. But if you are always chatting with a friend from your real world and do not engage in a serious stuff, I consider that as normal.
2 people like this
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
19 Apr 09
When you are married, having any kind of relationship with another person is cheating. Some might think that, just because you are online and nothing is really happening, it's fine. But it's cheating, nevertheless! You are sharing intimate moments/thoughts with a person who is not your spouse. And that is wrong to both your partner and you. It may satisfy you for the moment, but, I believe, the more you do it, the more you have the need to do it. And it will sometimes lead to the actual hooking up with that person. If I ever found my husband doing it, I would be upset, hurt, mad, angry, and ready for a divorce! BUT, my husband doesn't get on chat places. He mostly hunts for parts for computers, cameras, etc., and buys on Ebay. AND, he hates talking/writing emails online!
@smartjack (520)
• India
18 Apr 09
it is cheating towards both the person.
2 people like this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I have to agree with you. It would not be fair to either person!
1 person likes this
@signum (545)
• Australia
18 Apr 09
I think it's cheating, however if both people in the relationship do it and feel ok with it, then it's not so bad. Personally I would not do it, and I would be extremely hurt if my partner did it.
1 person likes this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I have to agree that it would be cheating. Though I am not sure that both parties doing it would make it ok....maybe
• United States
18 Apr 09
i believe it is cheating , and yes i would feel betrayed , just think about it if you did it then he would say you betrayed him , see i think it this way it seems like he shouldnt do something he dont want you to do ,
1 person likes this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
exactly....if it would anger them if you did it then how in the world could they rationalize that it is ok for them to do so? I agree completely!
@uicbear (1900)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I think if your spouse or significant other is going outside your relationship to fill a need, then it's definately a sign that something is wrong. I'm not saying that having friends outside your relationship is wrong, but it doesn't sound like you are just talking about a simple friendship. If your mate can't come to you to talk and fill their other needs, I would say something is wrong with that relationship.
2 people like this
18 Apr 09
Yes I would and would feel very hurt and anger if I found my husband doing it. I would never even think of doing Anything like that to my husband he turst Me and if I did that I would be betraying that. After all people who do this kind of thing should think aboutthe feelings of Rhodes they love. You can get what you need from them and not from someone online. Role play with your love one if that's what you like.
1 person likes this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I agree, that would be a betrayal of trust that would be very hard to repair.....if it even could be!
@chopchop (16)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
It definitely is in my opinion. If you're happily married to the one you're really in love with, then why do that "thing" online? It doesn't make sense. I'm a rather conservative person and I view S** as an act of love. Why do it if there's no love? Well, that's just how I view things.
1 person likes this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
me too, I just don't see the point in having the physical side of a relationship if there is not any real love or emotion involved!
@larish (2191)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
Telling lie is cheating. If your significant others don't know about your online relationship then it is really cheating :)
1 person likes this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
Yes, that would be my feelings on the subject as well.
• United States
18 Apr 09
Well I believe it would be an emotional affair. I believe there are two types of affairs. Emotional and physical. They both do a lot of damage to a relationship. So why does your lover have to go to a relationship online to get their needs meet? If the relationship is not fulfilling those needs they need to seek counceling or get a divorce.
1 person likes this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I suppose so. there is usually some reason for the person to stray. On the other hand if they don't let their partner know that something is wrong, how are they supposed to try to mend the problem?
@acekala (163)
• United States
18 Apr 09
Yes its cheating. If your talking to someone else about s*x and personal problems thats not a marriage counselor or religious conselor than your not respecting your partner. The best policy is if you cant resolve whatever issue you have with your partner end it and move on.
1 person likes this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Apr 09
my thoughts too!
1 person likes this
@acekala (163)
• United States
19 Apr 09
Yeah it suprises me how many people think that just chatting up someone does'nt count as cheating. Alot of people think till you commited the physical act your in the clear. I belive the cheating occurs when the emotional bound is made with the other person, just my 2 cents.
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
Well of course cheating is not only in the act even if it is done through the mind you are already cheating on your partner. Although it is lesser of an offense the thing is if you are doing it then you are violating your partner in the process.
1 person likes this
@silverjam (969)
• United States
21 Apr 09
For me it is definitely cheating. And you're right, if you are happy w/ your spouse why still engaged in chatting? Even if they pretend to say that it's just for fun and nothing serious at all, still it's not good and conveys betrayal. If it's said to be just a friendly chats, it might still lead to something beyond that, so it's not ok and not good for people who are in relationships.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
I agree with you. It is cheating. Why would you do that if you are already involved with someone else? Even if it's online it's still cheating. Specially if you engage you self in online s e x.
1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
20 Apr 09
Hello mehale! When a person is committed and is engaging a relationship to opposite s e x (whether online or not) are still considered cheating. I won't tolerate that kind of act and if ever I will find my husband having an affair wherever, it would be unforgivable for me.
1 person likes this
@csrobins (1120)
• United States
21 Apr 09
Anything you cannot tell your significant other about is cheating.
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@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
some people might have trouble with the word cheating but even a 1st grader knows having an online relationship while one is married is wrong. many people go to great lengths to justify many things but it takes only putting ourselves in the position of a child can we simplify things that adults had made a lot of complication out of.
1 person likes this