Now the team mates are Backstabbing me !

@subha12 (18452)
India
April 29, 2009 3:11am CST
Few days back I started a discussion about a team mate who is bossing over. He also back stab people. I have heard that myself. Now today morning, he is telling bad things about me to the project manager. He is trying to prove I am worthless. Its very bad . I know nobody will hear the correct point as he is always more vocal.Its making me mad!I know you will tell me to change the job. But due to market condition it is not so bright idea now.
1 person likes this
14 responses
29 Apr 09
Don't you have any employee union or HR department where you can make a formal complaint? This is not something to be taken emotionally, but should be tackled rationally with letters and emails and proofs. If others are backbiting in your workplace, you have to clear the air by using effective communication skills to bring them to your side. NO! Please dont change your job. Write out a letter addressed to your boss, and CC a copy to everyone who matters in the office about your grievance. You can mark a copy to this person too, so that he knows that you are not going to take it lying down. If you need help with this, PM me and I shall help you. Never ever let people walk over you for no fault of yours! Good luck :)
1 person likes this
@mimimeow (295)
• Hong Kong
29 Apr 09
that's a pretty cool way. I like it. But have you or any of your friends try this before? It works?
1 person likes this
29 Apr 09
Yes indeed. It is a proven, professional way to tackle discrimination of any sort in the workplace.
@mimimeow (295)
• Hong Kong
29 Apr 09
subha, any way you & your colleague united against him? It's like a group of people standing up complaining about 1 certain person, I don't think the management can ignore it. At the same time, stick with your own duties and leave no chance for that person to tell bad things about you. We all support you here~~
1 person likes this
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
29 Apr 09
I think you should take a stand for yourself. You have to outsmart him. It is really important in your organization to make people understand the real sense of work. If they want to prove themselves they need to work. Things can not work out on supressing someone.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
29 Apr 09
thats a very bad situation,try to ignore and just do your work,try to engage yourself in some other activities which relaxes your mind. happy posting.
1 person likes this
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
29 Apr 09
Yeah subha, it's really helplessness to have such a disgusting person as colleague. You are right it's not wise and a bright idea as well to quit the job during this recession at the moment. Okay, what you should do is to show others how good you are in your job but not as what the worthless person he had remarked. Well, cooperate with other teammates in the office to strengthen the unity so as to counter the said person with evil in his heart.
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@dyasper (16)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
You have to stand up on your own. If the person is a known backstabber in our office then im sure your not the only one who is affected. Talk to other persons who he has bad mouthed and stand your ground. Make yourself heard and let the higher management know the truth.
1 person likes this
@med889 (5958)
29 Apr 09
Hello subha12, I know how it is because I have been through and it was really frustrating for me. I could not change job because I could not get another so quickly so I had to endure and little by little I saw that the situation was improving to the better, the person began to feel maybe that what she is doing is totally wrong.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I know it is a very bad time for you to look for a new job, but you have got to do something about this. I put up with that crap in the workplace for years and had to take a stand and move on. I would be looking for a new job while taking a stand where you are at. Tell them how you feel and that you do not appreciate it.
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
29 Apr 09
oh Subha, I am sorry this is happening to you. It is never easy to be pointed out and especially when untruths are being told. We want justice for ourselves, I understand. I think the best thing to do at this point is to keep your calm and show yourself to not be the way he is portraying you. People will catch on to what he is doing and their bad opinions will be formed of him and not you.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39914)
• Canada
1 May 09
I am sorry that is bad, other than that we don't know what to tell you anymore.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
1 May 09
I would think you team mates are enjoying what they are doing. It is just fatal attraction. While you have my sympathy, I do feel that the more they try to prove you worthless, you need to prove your worth. The truth is always a fact. Quit and you will fall into their trap. Think thrice.
• Singapore
1 May 09
Hi Subha, I would like to tell you that it's no point confronting that person. He will just badmouth even more. What I want to tell you that would help you is to be strong on the inside. Be a good person, help and continuously add value to others. Be the person who other colleagues can talk to and get along. Even if others criticise or badmouth you, you do not gossip about other people to other colleagues, but instead be the person whom others look up to and respect even though you may not be the supervisor or manager in charge. To get respect and trusting friends in your workplace, continue to add value to others by not gossiping about them. But instead, praise them when you really see them develop and progress at work. It's human nature that people like to be encouraged and praised and disliked being criticised. Be the supporter. Even the person who once badmouth you, would think twice, and respect you. Do not be bothered by those badmouthing about you. As long as you know you have done right, and being a person whom people can trust, you just have to stand your ground, be calm, be firm. Things will go your way. Stay positive and create positive energy around you. Spread the joy and love. Good Luck!
@p1kef1sh (45638)
29 Apr 09
Confront him Subha. Make him justify the things that he says. If he can then you will have to change. If he can't he must apologise and make it clear to your colleagues that he was wrong. He is bullying you and that is despicable. If your workplace has any anti bullying rules you should consider using them. Do take care.
@mnk202 (339)
• United States
29 Apr 09
Hi subha12 I can tell you it is a bad situation you are in. I have been there before and when I first went thru it myself I did not know what to do because I felt the other person had the upper hand. I don't know why but I did. Then I had gotten some help from a few friends and they definitly let me know that I was great and a good worker and did not deserve to get pushed down or out of my job. So what I had done was asked the big boss for a meeting with all of the workers that way the other person could say what they had to say and I could also hear it and be there to speak for myself in front of eveyone and get it handled. Don't let your guard down and prove to this person that you are a worker and a human being and that you have rights and your not going to take this. There are many ways to handle it and if you would like to get in touch with me for help with other ideas or just someone to talk to please let me know.