When does a stalker become a stalker?
By TLChimes
@TLChimes (4822)
United States
June 22, 2009 11:09pm CST
There are a few of us on here who "stalk" each other. We follow what others are discussing, talk to each other on other sites, email, and then there is the phone calls and meeting at the pubs. But that is all in fun and by mutual agreement.
But when is it not fun any more? When does that person following you around becomes a scary little creep? When is annoying turned to just plain wrong, criminal, or scary?
Shadow, as I call my stalker, has followed me from site to site, copied my words, and argues against me with out me ever knowing. I had figured that maybe she had found someone new to follow because after other folks started to catch on she went all ninja so we only openly crossed paths once in a while. Totally ok by me.
Well.... comfort is such a false thing.
Only two members of mylot know who I speak of and only because they know of Shadow from another place. This said I am not going to reveal Shadows name... no TOS risk there. But I will tell you of some of the things I mean because I want to self check. Should I consider certain behaviors wrong?
I post a blog on another site containing a copy of a letter I sent to every official I could. She questioned that, argued that there is no way I'm having those issues, and that solving the issue is easy because there are laws. She even questioned if a school I mention was even real because she couldn't find it on the web. (for shadow's info: http://www.detroit.k12.mi.us/schools/school/217)
I posted a blog showing the way Detroit houses look from the inside. It's a video I took. She said on her blog that she "came across it" on the web.
If I state something she has to post links to why I'm wrong but not in my face (often)but in similar discussions. If I say one thing she has to tell the world how my point is so wrong. She is offended by everything I say even when it is in no way to her. And if someone (not even knowing of the issues) agrees with me or sticks up to me then I poisoned them against her. (paranoid much)
I avoid this person in every way. I find out the things she does because it shows up where someone can see it and let me know. I don't pick fights. I think many of you know how I am. Yet she keeps up with it.... over a year now.
I report, blog, ignore, and called out.... nothing has worked.
What do you all think?
Am I as uneducated, clueless, and wrong as she thinks and tells folks? Am I a liar and a cheat? Do I ask to be stalked? Is she a stalker? I check my mirror, does her's lie to her?
What's your favorite flavor of ice cream.
5 people like this
18 responses
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I love maple nut but rarely find it so my backup is butter pecan.
Indeed, this person is a stalker and she is very ill. It seems you're the focus of a good part of her life and I wish I could tell you what to do about it. I hope she doesn't live anywhere near you!
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (157563)
• United States
23 Jun 09
All icecream seems to be my favorite. The regional dairy store I visit has some light icecream that is pomegranate cheese cake.
3 people like this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Dragon.... There is a great lake between us so hopefully that's enough. I love butter pecan!
Gert... I have never heard of that but I love the sound of it.
Did you guys know that Japan has some very... um... interesting flavors? (Ewww) Like wasabi shrimp.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jun 09
Stalkers are no longer fun when they start doing things to hurt you, no matter how small. I've had/have my share of stalkers. The only positive thing I can say about them, is that they make me more careful in how I say things. Other than that, I just laugh at them. Out loud, silently, whatever. I no longer engage them or defend myself against them. I can't stop them, so I play with them instead, and trust me, even if it's only 'theatre of the mind' for ME, it's enough to keep me from going postal! lol Somebody loves you kiddo and wants to BE you! Be flattered, but as long as you can look in your mirror and not see a lie, you're way ahead of the game. Good on ya! And hey..............I'm really good at dealing with stalkers, so if you need any help, just email me and let me work my own brand of magic! lol
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jun 09
Oh hells bells, I put my response under my response! LOL That's what happens when you respond from email and are too tired to pay attention. lol
This old broad is going to bed. (I'm serious about you emailing me though. No worries)
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 Jun 09
mmmwwwaaaahhhhaaahhh...I'm stalking ya
Okay just kidding here. Sounds like the person your talking about is a genuine stalker though. I could see if maybe the person ONLY stalked you here, but if the person is literally following you everywhere then yup--a stalker. I've had my own stalker for three years here and no hasn't bothered me elsewhere but is a real royal pain in the "A" to me...leaving insulting, obnoxious comments to my discussions...He has come back numerous times under different user names but I KNOW it's him and no doubt he's back and watching my activities and lurking once again but hasn't shown himself up again.....yet. There are a few cyberstalking sites one can make an initial inquiry to and of which I've done...I'm "collecting" evidence and my next possible move would be to report to the FBI--I'm just biding my time and waiting to see if he comes out again
Okay just kidding here. Sounds like the person your talking about is a genuine stalker though. I could see if maybe the person ONLY stalked you here, but if the person is literally following you everywhere then yup--a stalker. I've had my own stalker for three years here and no hasn't bothered me elsewhere but is a real royal pain in the "A" to me...leaving insulting, obnoxious comments to my discussions...He has come back numerous times under different user names but I KNOW it's him and no doubt he's back and watching my activities and lurking once again but hasn't shown himself up again.....yet. There are a few cyberstalking sites one can make an initial inquiry to and of which I've done...I'm "collecting" evidence and my next possible move would be to report to the FBI--I'm just biding my time and waiting to see if he comes out again2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jun 09
Soft please.............twisted choco/vanilla. In a sugar cone.
It's the only way to eat real ice cream! LOL
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jun 09
My doctor is actually the one who recommended soft ice cream to me. LOL Wanna trade doc's? I'll educate yours in no time! ROFL
Hi Raz!
@celticeagle (159105)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Jun 09
It is just crazy how people can infiltrate our whole way of life. This stalking eachother is sort of scarey. Not sure how and why. Perhaps wanting to poison on against another. I have recently had some pretty weird things happen between me and a person I thought was a friend. I can see where the weirdness starts. Not hard to catch.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
24 Jun 09
You may not have noticed but on a discussion of yours my shadow went after me.... until you agreed with me... then it went all "oh well maybe....."
I laughed because I knew what I had meant and that I could stand for my point.
This shadow and I were great friends one day and the next I was a lying evil nut case because I choose to not end friendships she didn't aprove of.
2 people like this
@superfangs (72)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I play this game maple story right and i ussally stalk this girl HinaChan shes my friend i was stalking all my friends on maple story it was beginning to be halarious then it got old and boring and my friends got annoyed with it and told me to stop and i didnt because it was tempting and then my friends reported me and i learned never again to stalk. but stalking can be scay and annoying and the next step is calling the cops esspelly when someone loves you they keep stalking and see what you doing and that happend when some dude was stalking my girl friend and that used to be mean sometimes slaking i fun at the beginning
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I am sure that this would qualify as stalking. There are a few others on here having a problem with it. It is definitely strange. I am not sure what you should do in this situation.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157563)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I would say shadow has become a stalker. We had someone like that on here for awhile, I do not know if she got banned or just left. This is intriguing to me, but only because I am not on the receiving end of those attentions. I would ignore her completely. You have enough to think about without her.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Mine is on here too. Showed up a couple of days after I did. She was attacking me twice in discussions and back peddled when two separate mylotters stepped in and agreed with me. Funny how that works. And neither knew that there is an issue because I never told them. The one knows now because she asked the Why of the attack. But the other stopped it with a simple "You are so right Chimes" LOL
Most of the time I let her go her way. I had thought she had gone away until a friend spotted her taking the two things I mentioned above and pointed them out. Then another friend suggested I point out that I know she's doing it. Again. So here we are.
2 people like this
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
23 Jun 09
When does a stalker become a stalker? When someone befriends you online and then follows you from site to site. When they copy every single one of your posts and re-post them as their own. When they harass you with messages belittling you in order to make themselves feel more important.
The saddest part is, your stalker is someone who has such a low self esteem that she has to harass other people online to make herself feel that she's smarter, prettier, more intelligent...when she's not any of those things. It's sad that she hides behind a computer monitor because she's afraid to make friends in the real world. It's sad that she watches you and sees that you make friends online who become friends in real life and then feels she has to message you and tell you that your friends are fake, because if your friends are real, then you're better than she is because she doesn't have any friends.
Most of our MyLot friends are familiar with your stalker. When I suggested you come on over here to get away from her, she couldn't type fast enough to catch up with you.
Oh but the REAL answer to your question - when does a stalker become a stalker? That's easy.
WHEN HER NAME IS ANORA.
1 person likes this
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
23 Jun 09
oops. My favorite flavor of ice cream is CHOCOLATE!!!
Raw horseflesh ice cream? No thanks.
1 person likes this
Love you sis!!! Cait says her Aunt R.T. Rocks!
And just for that.... you get a story. That's what I'm working on right now.... this one will be one to publish so I can sign it for you.@rowantree (1186)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I love you, Cait!
Really? I get a story? You promise? That is the best news I have had all MONTH!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Jun 09
If she follows you around and annoys you and if she knows she's not welcome, she's a stalker. Keep reporting her. One day, you will be rid of her.
I'm not allowed to have ice cream right now. Have some Rocky Road for me? :-(
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
23 Jun 09
Hi TLChimes,
i am so sorry you are having problems with this stalker, there are so many friends of my having the same problems too, what is wrong with these people, haven't they anything better to do with their time? i stay well out of it, I like strawberry flavour ice cream.
Tamara
2 people like this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
23 Jun 09
i think it become stalking when they are doing things that just isnt right. myself i always go and check to see if the people who are on my friends list has started any new disscussions,
but the person you are talking is stalking you. sometime we got to not pay attention to them until they cross that line
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I don't really pay attention until she shows up in my world... like when a friend found out she's stealing and working off of a blog I write. It's personal stuff and none of her affair.
But it isn't worth moving on because I have good friends here.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
23 Jun 09
Gee Chimes that’s a pain to deal with! You certainly are not uneducated and clueless. This person has problems herself by the sound of it! Surely she must have better things to do, well maybe not...
I would classify her as a stalker.
Oh...I love soft serve vanilla and chocolate sundae!
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
28 Jun 09
I wish I could give you some proper advice but I have never experienced anything like this.
I would continue to ignore and disregard this person. She's obviously slightly disturbed. We all know when we do something that's wrong...even if we justify it the very act of doing so means we know it's wrong. Continue to do the right thing as this person must know they are doing wrong. It's on their conscience, there is no need for you to have it on yours.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
24 Jun 09
People like that need to down others to make themselves look good or make themselves feel better inside. What I would do is tell her out in the open "I choose to ignore you" and move on. Let her rant at you all she wants but do not answer her because it's antagonizing her to continue on bashing you. Just let her have the so called "last word" if that suits her fancy just don't comment back to her and she'll eventually go away because one can't fight alone.
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
19 Jul 09
Hello my friend TLChimes Ji,
"EXCESS OF EVERYTHING IS BAD". We should remain within our limits, no sooner one thinks going out of line of control, should take recovery action. It is one allows to happen and then suffer at later stage. So I always think twice evn before meeting in pub or elsewhere.
May god bless You and have a great time.
@gypsywoman344 (214)
• United States
25 Jun 09
A stalker is a stalker when they have to follow you around when you have little or no communication with them.
Rocky Road/Heavenly Hash
