Why do some people thing "no" means "yes" or "maybe"?
By reinydawn
@reinydawn (11643)
United States
June 26, 2009 7:09am CST
This has been happening a lot here with me lately. I'll log in and see that I have a new friends request (or so I thought). When I do get a new friend request here, I always check the person out - unless it's someone who I've seen posting to my discussions, then I'll just approve them. But, usually I check them out, and see if I can find out what they're after. I hate the "friends" that bombard you with their "GREAT money-makers" within minutes of approving them. If they have tons of money-maker ads on their profile, they're usually denied. If they joined 2 days ago and have 800 friends, they're denied - there's no way they could have come across that many people that they're interested in their discussions in just a short time. If none of the discussions they've started or replied to appeal to me, they're denied. So, some people get denied - actually quite a few do.
But then, just recently, I'll get a 2nd, 3rd and even 4th request from the same person! I mean, I already said "no" so give it up. One person was very persistent and on the 4th request I approved him/her and sent them a message wanting to know if they really wanted to be my friend of if they were just trying to accumulate as many friends as possible. I haven't heard back and will be deleting this person. There've been no replies from this person to my discussions, or any discussions started by this person.
Do you keep pestering people to be on their friends list or do you forget about it if you don't get accepted? Have you seen the same people over and over again asking to be on your list? How do you handle it?
5 people like this
11 responses
@candy2306 (576)
• India
27 Jun 09
hi reinydawn, i guess that friend have checked out your profile and got really interested! i guess it's no harm to add that person as your friend. i'm sure you also have apolicy of your own, and you hand pick your friends. why are you judging that person by check thier profile only? it sounds like judging a book by it's cover.
looking from that person's view, i guess he/she purposely want to annoy you! well guess you either accept him/her or get annoyed.
2 people like this
@candy2306 (576)
• India
27 Jun 09
yup, guess you got a point there! no one prefer to get scammed anyway.. i guess you should delete.
2 people like this
@agrim94 (3805)
• India
26 Jun 09
Hi reinydawn,
Well i always send friends request to people who respond to my discussions as a thankyou token. Till date i havent send anyone any link unless we talked about it and i was asked. I too have been bombarded with the links here as soon as i have accepted the friendship. But with time i have learnt not to feel bad about them. i thought ok this guy like me is here to make some money and if he feels happy in sending me the links then what i loose and also i do get some good leads sometimes from the links i receive. Also i dont think that you should respond to all the discussions your friends post. Only respond to what you feel like and if someone is offended by this then it is not your fault. About 1st, 2nd and so on request from same guy then may be he is sending so many requests to every one he sees that he himself doesnt remember if he has sent it to you or not. if you are annoyed then there must be a block button on his profile or something which would not let him send you any requests.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
My time is somewhat limited and I really don't like spending it trying to filter through crap that people send me that is probably against the guidelines. All there here to do is get people signed up on their sites, and I'm here for more than that. THOSE are the kids of people I want on my friends list.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
27 Jun 09
I just add whoever wants to be on my friends list. I really do not care who want to be on friends list.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
27 Jun 09
I used to do that too, but then I'd get too many people wanting me to be their refs for other sites, or clog up my discussion list with so many stupid discussions that I had to really hunt to find my real friends real discussions. Nah, I'm pretty selective now.
1 person likes this
@doctorsubbaiah (412)
• India
26 Jun 09
I didn't come across that situation. Most of the requests come from the participants of discussion whether started or responded by me. his is the new thing to know. Now a days I have been seeing so many discussion started on money-making only which are of little use in their attempt.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
It really is a shame that people just think it's great to bombard us with stupid sites. It really shows a lack of respect.
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
29 Jun 09
I havent noticed repeat requests for friendship. However i have made it a policy for myself that unless i know the person (someone who was banned came back with a new account, a referral a real life friend) I dont accept a request from anyone with less than 100 responses or lots of activity thats not geared towards the make money area. I also tend to go through and weed out people once in a while anyone not active for so long and under a certain amount of activity gets deleted.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
30 Jun 09
I really need to do the whole weeding out thing...
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I barely ever request to be friends. I will only request a friendship if I have been interacting with someone quite a bit, and then I think, "Wow, I am talking to this person a lot why are we not friends?" Then I will send the request. So I obviously would not pester someone to be on my friends list. I only ask on rare occasion and then I really don't care after I make the request, obviosly I hope they accept but if they don't I just let it go.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I'm pretty much the same way. I like to have some common ground with people, although if they're new I like to give them a chance too.
@GardenGerty (157545)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I am inclined to just accept anyone. Then delete them if they bombard me. I may take a housecleaning day one day soon and clear all of the people out. I also get friends who megapost junk that I cannot relate to, or that is sexually inappropriate in my opinion, and out they go as well. I have one person on my list that probably posts thirty posts daily, and I cannot relate to many or any of them. If I accept and ignore them it keeps them from constantly bombarding me with friend requests. I will also turn off notifications.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I need to do some housecleaning too. I keep saying that when I see others have done it. One day, when I have a minute or two (or 60 or 90 is more like it!).
@dhedows118 (891)
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
When someone denied my friend request I let it go. If someone doesn't want me to be part of their circle of friend then so be it.
I also don't want the fact that others are just sending out their great money-makers which most of the site aren't working or not legit. It's just a waste of time
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I think of my friends here about the same as I think of my real-life friends. They're someone I like and want to spend time with!
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
26 Jun 09
I very rarely request users ever since I started here.
Recently I requested a oouple and they accepted almost immediately. If others have not accepted or have denied then I respect their decision and certainly do not go and request again.
When I receive a request from a user who I do not want on my list because I assume they will just send links then I neither accept nor refuse. I leave them pending then they cannot bother me again 
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I'm strange sometimes. I don't like having it look like I have friends requests that I haven't addressed - the numbers beside the tab up there. So I'll try to either add them or deny them right away. I haven't asked too many people to add me as a friend either, but when I notice I'm hitting a lot of the same discussions, I like to add them.
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I usually approve everyone unless I see a reason not to.
There is one person that I approved some months ago and he kept badgering me about personal things, more like a stalker. I asked him to leave me alone, but he kept at it. I deleted him as a friend, and he send me a friend request many times after that, which I denied. I'll bet he sent it 10 or more times.
I guess he finally got the message, or maybe he was kicked off the site for doing it to others.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
In the beginning I approved everyone too, but now I'm a bit more selective. I find that some people start stupid and mundane discussions and they would get in the way of my "real" friends discussions. I'd be going through pages of "what is your favorite color" to get to something worthwhile.
I haven't had a stalker yet though...
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I think that new people think you have to have everyone on your friends list so they will respond to your discussions. Well, I don't respond to everyone, but only the discussions I have something to contribute to. I also think it's a 2-way street. If I'm adding you and responding to your discussions, you should be doing the same for me. That's why I make sure we have the same interests first.
