Do your husbands still look at you all the time after married and think...--

@mermaidivy (15395)
United States
July 9, 2009 8:01am CST
you are pretty? I have an issue... before we got married, my husband used to tell me how pretty I was all the time, whenever I put on a nice dress, he said it looks pretty and stuff; when I walked in front of him with dressed up looking, he would look at me and said I am pretty but not anymore... he does very rarely these days, I need to ask if I look pretty then he will say yes before he looks at me... or just say yes for the sake... that makes me quite upset actually... he doesn't say I am pretty anymore and won't look atme when I dress up but he will look at the random girls all the time... I think it is not only my issues, it seems like I have heard of it from some girls before too... I just get unhappy by that, I want to be pretty because of him, I want to be praised and told I am pretty in his eyes but not I ask if I am pretty and he just says YES just because I ask... Do you guys know what I mean? What do you think?
5 people like this
22 responses
• India
9 Jul 09
yeah, i agree with you that men after being in a relationship for a long time forget to keep complimenting their partners. i am not sure why, but this happens in most of the cases. as i male, i can tell you one thing, even though we do no tell it explicitly outside , but within our minds, we say to ourselves ' wow, she is looking great today'. i think we tend to forget to mention that explicitly. maybe,since we are together, we immediately take you in our arms and love you. before marriage, you definitely do not have that liberty always and hence, the need to explicitly mention that. this is just a hunch from me.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
9 Jul 09
• United States
9 Jul 09
i been married for 11 years and my husband still tells me how good i look , don't get me wrong he still looks at other girls all men do it's in there nature . sometimes guys think that we know what they are thinking and that we should know they we look good or pretty to them and they shouldn't have to tell us. try telling him he looks good when he does give him the complents and then just maybe he may give them back to you.tell him that you feel that you don't look pretty tp him any more and that it bothers you and see what happenes.
• United States
10 Jul 09
maybe he is it's just he does it sneaky and you don't notice , because some times my husband does that but maybe just talk to him you never know , if he says he looks at you all the time then ask him why he don't say anything unless you ask him
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I have just told me this morning... he said he always look at me but it is not true.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jul 09
Let me say it next time, I never asked him back about it.
@UK_Shree (3603)
15 Jul 09
Well I am not married but if I was in your situation I think it would bother me too. Just out of curiosity, how long have you guys been married? I guess if it has been a long time, that would not be so surprising, as it seems men usually pay the most interest at the beginning. I do think you should speak to him and let him know how you are feeling as it is obviously upsetting you, and understandably so.
@UK_Shree (3603)
20 Jul 09
I can completely see your point of view, and if I was in your shoes I would be upset too. Maybe you should speak to him. Also, how often do you dress up, make an effort to look good etc. I know that in real life we can't all look glam everyday, but maybe you are not making the amount of effort he would like you to?
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
That's the problem, we have only been married for less than a year... :-( :-( I can't believe that happen already actually, that's why it really bothers me you know...
@dlr297 (5409)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I have been with my husband for a long time and yes he does make a comment when i dress up, but i do not do it very often, he is so used to seeing me in jeans and a t-shirt. that when i put on something nice he does notice.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
9 Jul 09
Maybe because I always wear pretty clothes so he doesn't really care...
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
9 Jul 09
So should I wear old plain clothes, only wear pretty colorful clothes when I go out?... I thought he would like me to be pretty all the time, I guess he has been spoiled...
@dlr297 (5409)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I do not think that it is not that he does not care, it is just that he is used to seeing you that way.
@meyows (438)
• India
16 Jul 09
Marriage is the end to love. When I became his own property why do he look at me he can not do that.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jul 09
What do you mean?
@meyows (438)
• India
17 Jul 09
I mean I am not pretty. Even if I am my husband don't care. Because he tried to impress me before our marriage. Now he is showing me his true character. As I married to him I can't leave him, he thinks so.
@Rodlkm (123)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 09
I can understand where you are coming from. Guys like myself tend to take things for granted over time. Insensitive you might say, but unfortunately true. The only time guys start telling you that you are pretty is when they have another `agenda' in my mind. I am still trying to constantly remind myself of this same mistake and I guess I do owe my wife many apologies for not reminding her that I love her and that she is pretty, if not prettier than on the day she said `Yes' to me. Thanks for reminding sister.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
20 Jul 09
You tell a lot of what I always think about! Not only the pretty thing but also lots of little thing like if I have been doing some certain things, if I forget once, he gets aggravated... you know what I mean, I don't mean to forget but... I didn't know what don't take things for granted means before and now I understand it. Thanks for your response! :-)
@Rodlkm (123)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 09
You are welcome sister. I am sure that things will definitely improve as long as we put our efforts into it.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Yes, I'm happy to say even after all these years of being married that my husband still thinks I'm pretty. In fact he's been calling me beautiful a lot lately, which always makes me feel good. Maybe you shouldn't always dress up for your husband. That way when you do so it might just make it that much more special. Just a thought.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Mayve I should do that... don't dress up pretty all the time... just give him suprise once in a while... it's not what I like though :-(
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
15 Jul 09
Don't worry mermaid, it is not just your problem alone. It is indeed an Universal problem for women. Yes, men don't praise their women after marriages. It does not mean he is not loving you.It does not mean he does not care for you. he does not express much after marriage. he used to praise you a lot during dating(Infact he would have exaggerated many things) But at the same time you should try your best to stay as attractive as possible. best wishes.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I do everyday, I'm not not doing it so he doens't praise me, he just doesn't anymore...period
• Philippines
14 Jul 09
i think your still pretty in your husband outlook...never ever believed that your husband doesn't like you anymore...i know that he is still love you..., maybe he just too much busy and too much things in mind..just keep the communication well and running...communication is the way to keep the relationship strong..
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Yea... communication is really important... I have talked to him about this these days...
@daliaj (5674)
• India
10 Jul 09
I think this is how many of the guys react once they are married. Your's is not a strange issue. I am lucky that my husband still appreciates me and my dressing. Men give a lot of importance to beauty I think. There are a few women who won't concetrate to maintain the beauty, physic, or dress selection once they are married. It should not happen.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I concentrate on my beauty a lot, I like to be pretty and told that I am pretty... I'm just upset he doesn't tell me anymore...
• Philippines
15 Jul 09
Hello there MermaidIvy! I have been married for two years and for me I can say that were both sweet to each other and I always hear my husband call me hey sexy! or hello my lovely bride even if we are already married , he always say that to me whenever he gets home after work. He buys me clothes that I like to wear and even if he is against makeup, I still can buy it when I ask for it and i can see that what ever makes me feel happy, he does feel happy too. He is the one that asks me whenever i get myself perk up and beautify myself. He is always asking, honey, why are you putting makeup or why are you prettifying yourself for? it is just only me who will look at you, not anyone else. Sometimes I would feel shy when he tells me that. He said that it does not matter if i look pretty or not, he would still love me the same. It really makes my heart grow big whenever he says that and he looks straight into my eyes whenever he speak of it.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
That's very nice, I'm glad to hear that, my husband is not like that at all, I'm sure ou are very happy with your husband :-)
@tundeemma (894)
• South Africa
10 Jul 09
i think women are to be blamed when they do not receive such attention from their husbands after some years of marriage and that is because some women do not want to take care of themselves anymore simply because they felt they have arrived in a man's heart and home, so women should continue to look good always and they will receive much more attention from their husbands
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I do it everyday but I don't get any...
@airakumar (1553)
• India
10 Jul 09
My husband loves me very much and his eyes tell a lot. He often say "I love you!".."You are looking so beautiful"..You are so pretty"....all these words are still alive. He still stares me sometimes like a lover boy. He is so romantic person. He is a one woman man full of love and passion. Its been 5 years of our marriage now. He still loves me very much like before. Rather I would say more than that. I am so lucky woman.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
That's very sweet!!!!! Yes, you certainly are a lucky woman!
@candy2306 (576)
• India
10 Jul 09
Guess we on the same boat! I used to get the sweet nice praises when we newly wed. Nowadays he is like not looking at me at much especially when I want him to give me some nice comments. I'm a lil happy here, coz when he buys me new clothes, he wants me to wear it immediately when we get home and show him if his selection looks pretty on me. Hope keeps doing that forever!
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
He doesn't buy clothes for me ever... you should be glad that at least he is buying you nice clothes and think you look pretty in that clothes...
• India
16 Jul 09
.. :-) I am glad my dear!
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
10 Jul 09
My husband and I have been married 10 years soon to be 11 years.. My husband tells me all the time how pretty and beautiful I am.. I think I look at my worse and he still tells me.. However I don't need for him to tell me this because I know I look good lol I know how he feels about me so like I said I have no need to ask him if I do or don't.. When you said "he would look at me and said I am pretty but not anymore" Are you saying he is telling you your not? If so he has some serious issues.. Cause if this your picture in your avatar than the man is blind... Just saying even if he didn't lol.. I don't think you need a man though to tell you if you are or not, You should know that already and I am sure you do!
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I meant he doesn't tell me I am poretty anymore, he only say yes without looking at me when I ask him if I look pretty today... I don't call myself ugly but I just want to hear my husband says I am pretty because I like to dress up, be pretty for him... he likes to look at random girls at the same time, that makes me really upset... you know wha tI mean... :-(
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
9 Jul 09
i guess i lucked out because even after 21 years of marriage, my hubby still says i am pretty and look nice when i dress up. maybe you should ask him what you can do to make yourself pretty in his eyes again.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I pretty much make myself very pretty when we gpo out, even when I'm home... he just ... I don't know... I hope he is not bored with me ALREADY...
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
9 Jul 09
Hellomermaidivy, I understand that. My husband rarely says that to me too. In fact he seldoms complimented me when we're courting each other and so, I am again, get used to his attitude. We have been married just like almost five years and the compliments are getting lesser and lesser. It is still alright for me if he doesn't say that I am pretty or beautiful anymore as long as he never sets eyes on other women. I am lucky too that my husband doesn't really look at other women whenever we are outside. Right now, I just want him to praise me more in other aspects like how delicious the food I cook, how good his wife is or how clever I am
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
9 Jul 09
You are lucky at least your husband doens't look at other women but mine does... ALWAYS
1 person likes this
@vivianchen (2646)
• China
10 Jul 09
Although i am not yet married, but i've heard from the people who married, saying that man are different before married and after married. That makes me afraid of marriage sometimes. But i know people are different, so i still want to believe that there is a man that will love me no matter before marriage or after marriage.. Do be sad, you can try to talk to your husband and tell him your feeling, he might have his own reason
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Well, I thought the same thing that you are thinking - there is somebody that is special, different but it isnot...you will see everything when you get married... I'm still holding on to my marriage though.
• China
10 Jul 09
just like you,i also want to be pretty because of my hubby,for me,my hubby and i have lived for 5 years,he also often say yes before he looks at me when i asked him,but he made my a little happy yesterday,he always follow me and want to took photo for me,because he said he found that i am very pretty yesterday,so i am happy he still know to appreciate me.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
That's nice...
• United States
10 Jul 09
I have around two years with my husband and everything changed is a drastick way. Before he would also tell me that I look nice or pretty but now I don't even feel like dresing up nice. I guess that I stoped getting all nice and pretty because he stoped carring and so did I. But I actually feel bad because this is really not the way I am but now if I dress better and do my hair and everything he would like it but he would start makig some coments that I don't like because he would end up asking if I am interested in making other guys look at me or something like that.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I'm still dressing up because I don't want to give up because of that, I just hope I am pretty in his eyes...