Are you in favor of relationship between young men and older women?

Philippines
July 20, 2009 10:17am CST
Even as a young girl, i always dream of marrying a man that is older than me. I think they are wiser and more capable of handling relationships than younger men. I was blessed to marry one, although not too old actually but a man that is wiser than his age. Now, friends who prefer younger men is not really a problem to me. As long as they are both adult when they enter into a relationship. But young adult ladies with teenage young men? I can't help but worry as to how the relationship will end up. I have a young adult friend who is very much interested with a high school student, my heart sunk everytime i remember them. Glad that i don't see them much together because i doubt if I can react nicely. The lady seem to be enjoying as much. But the young man seem to be distracted and not himself many days because he kept thinking that they are against all odds in this decision. They seem to be getting much attention too. I have the best hope for both of them for they are both close to my heart but right now im praying so hard as to how can i approach them as wisely and tactfully as possible... Yet bearing in mind that the truth will help them than harm them. How about you, what is on your mind regarding this?
5 people like this
37 responses
@doryvien (2293)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Strong relationships are built on trust, understanding, responsibility and maturity. Maturity doesn't come with age, and one's personality cannot be judged based on age alone, it should be a myriad of different factors that make up a whole person. A May-December love affair has worked in many relationships, and if some have failed, to say that the failure was solely because of the huge age gap would be unfair. It's all between the two persons involved, and any outsider's opinion will be irrelevant. If your friend is happy, then be happy for her. If they work together to make the relationship last, then they'll prove that all your doubts (and those of the others) are pointless. If and when the going gets tough, your friend will know how to handle herself, as you said she's the one who's older in that relationship. Am I in favor? I can't say yes, but I don't mind either.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
That was very well said, doryvien! Made ma an instant fan!
• Philippines
25 Jul 09
I think people have their own preferences. Relationship between young me and older women is ok when young men reaches his legal age. If the man itself decides it for his life, I think that is ok, even in the eyes of the public they not good to be together. Some people think that young man just wanted money and fooling the older lady, but it is wrong to judge what they are feeling inside , maybe they are feeling true love , maybe not, that is their own life and as a public lets just stop our malicious minds lol. I can say the relationship is ok but it never escape to be criticize by the public especially those people who are conservative.
@jdyrj777 (6549)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I perfer someone who is my age. I have limits of 10yrs. under and 10yrs. over my age. There are some pretty irristable younger guys out there that try to talk to me. Even when i tell them my age. They still wanna get together. Tempting.
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
Hi beaushell."friends who prefer younger men is not really a problem with me. As long as they are both adult when they enter into a relationship." This is a good point. It is actually the maturity that will really matter. I guess what really concerns you most regarding your friend's relationship with a younger man is his age because the man(boy) is still in his teens. For me what matters in a relationship is maturity and compatibility, especially in spiritual matters. I am very, very, happy being married to a sweet, thoughtful, loving and God-fearing man...and he is 12 years my junior. We both believe that it was God who brought us together. May you find wisdom and peace as you continue to pray for this matter. BTW, this is an interesting topic! Good day!
1 person likes this
@submerryn (1304)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 09
Even as my husband is three years older than me, people mistaken him for being younger as he has such a baby face features. I cant stand that already! I cant imagine myself marrying someone even younger than me! I respect Ashton and Demi but I cant put myself in that position. It would be nice to know that someone young is having the hots for you, but marrying them will be too much of a burden emotionally..
1 person likes this
@hcp_nj (109)
• India
20 Jul 09
I think this decision has been taken by the two parties about their future. No other person can better judge it. As far as age is concerned, it does matter in many times. But when anybody fall in love or having some desire for other, then age does not matter and both can be lived a happy life.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30998)
• United States
3 Aug 09
I really don't care about age difference but much does depend on the ages....both should be consenting adults. I have 4 daughters and it was tough raising them because there are so many 22, 23 yr olds that will be attracted to the 14, 15 yr olds....sorry but I can't go along with that. Same goes for the women attracted to these little boys.
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
3 Aug 09
I have no problem with age differences in relationships, no matter which ways it goes, but with a teen involved, I don't think it is a good idea. I think that teens are still learning to be adult people! If they are both adults, I don't think the age difference is such a big deal, but I think teens need to grow up before they are ready to handle someone older than they are, whether male or female. I am not sure that your approaching them would be of any help to the situation but if you are friends with both of them, as it seems you are, you might want to talk with each separately and tell them how YOU feel about it and what you think you are observing. There might be things there that they aren't aware of.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
21 Jul 09
I don't believe that age has to be important in a relationship. It depends entirely depends on the people. Typically, Asian women look for different things in a man than Western women, so they often marry men much older then themselves. Myself, I would find it difficult to be mattied to an older woman. However, my mother was two years older thay my father, and their relationship lasted a lifetime.
@meapas (2433)
• India
21 Jul 09
It depends on the maturity level of the people concerned. If they are mentally well matured they will handle the relationship better. Age difference has nothing to do here. Generally it is seen that people become wiser after the event. meapas.
@dpk262006 (56784)
• Delhi, India
21 Jul 09
Hi bea! I agree with you that it will be difficult to get along with a younger guy if the woman is older to him, specially in the long run. In a relationship, physical aspects are also important and when the woman will get older, she may not be able to fulfill all desires of his guy and then his guy would start feeling frustrated and may repent on his decision.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
21 Jul 09
i have relationship with young man,there is not hope that i would be marry him,in fact,i have dream about it,because i often avoid the marrage, so i hope that i marry with young man in my dream,marrage become the manner between us,so i hope to find young man become my husband,not love him,seperation between age,i think there is not easy to love between them,so there is impossibe for us to love between us, and i don't believe that real love have exist at the reltionship between older lady and young man.
• United States
21 Jul 09
I feel its up to the person if they truely love one another then so be it but then again some of these relationships do not work out either but then some do. I my self perfer some one more my age
@derek_a (10898)
21 Jul 09
If two people love each other, then age doesn't usually come into it. I have friends who have married older women and have stayed happily married. I have friends who married women of their own age and soon after divorced. And vice-versa. It is lies and deceit that can destroy a relationship. Honesty will always bring the couple closer together. - Derek
@tundeemma (896)
• South Africa
21 Jul 09
if the society can accept that older men should date younger women i don't think the society will not accept that a older woman should date a younger man. there are several couples like that in our society and nobody is harassing them because the man is younger than the woman it all depends on what they want with each other
• United States
21 Jul 09
I have met several couples, where the the younger and older married. I don't have a problem with that. I wish you well, and hope that you are happy. My marriage obviously did not work out, but then that was a very different circumstance. My aunt married a younger man, and she was very happy.
• India
21 Jul 09
no
@irene_27 (545)
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
I live in a country where our culture is a bit conservative so a relationship between a young man with an older woman will cause a raised eyebrow. Personally though, I don't find anything wrong with that sitaution. I believe that calendar age is just a number. I mean maturity is not directly proportional to calendar age. This is in the same breath that a person's maturity or his capability to handle a relationship isn't dependent on how old or how young he is. In a relationship, it doesn't really matter if the woman is the one older or younger as long as both parties are compatible to begin with and truly love the other.
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
adult ladies with teenage men? not that bad. i guess its because TEENAGE GUYS are more romantic than adult ones. why? its because they are much more impulsive and more aggressive when it comes to relationships. sweeter because they are much more expressive. just like when you were in high school, your boyfriend/girlfriend is more expressive because they tend to show immature behaviors when they are in a relationship.they send cheesy letters, send you flowers even if there is no ocassion and all that stuff. im not saying that this is the sole cause, but it could be a factor.
• China
21 Jul 09
As a matter of fact, i like the girl who are older than me , bcuz they are mature ,wiser and give me infinite care . for myself, many of my older female friend do not like the boy who are younger than them, younger man always have no more sociey experience and no enough money and etc. i support the idea that if the couple feel good with each other no matter how the differece between their culture or ages.