I'm not old and past it - it's official!

Spain
October 12, 2009 7:38pm CST
I'm 57, not in the best of health, and quite a few kilos heavier than I should be. However, a couple of days ago, a good looking guy made a serious play for me. I turned him down, because I love my husband, he's everything I want in a man, and nobody else stands a chance. Still, it gave me a real lift to think that I could still attract a man without even trying. A friend said I should have been offended, and that the man concerned must have thought I was available, but to me, it was affirmation that I'm still all woman. I felt 20 years younger. How would you react in this situation?
6 people like this
25 responses
@LdeL0318 (6411)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
Yes I do agree with you. It's still flattering to have someone attracted to you. In fairness to the guy, maybe he doesn't actually know that you are not available. He wants to express how he really feels.
3 people like this
• Spain
13 Oct 09
It made my day, and the guy was very gracious in defeat. I haven't told my husband - not because I have anything to hide, but because I wouldn't want him to worry about it. I'm almost 20 years younger than him, and I don't want him to feel insecure.
2 people like this
@LdeL0318 (6411)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
Yes, sometimes it's better to be quiet on some things.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (139117)
• United States
13 Oct 09
Like you, I would be flattered, but faithful. It is nice to get the blood moving with someone flirting a little, as long as they know when to stop. I do not think I would be offended, and frankly, my husband would be flattered that someone else appreciates me as much as he does. Health is not always necessary for appeal. I sometimes consider myself as not in great health either.
• Spain
13 Oct 09
Hello, GG. I'm with you there. The guy took the turn down well, and my husband isn't the jealous type, although I didn't make a big deal of it, as I'd hate to make him feel insecure. It's nice to know I've still got what it takes though, and it was a better tonic than anything I can get on prescription!
2 people like this
@manong05 (5028)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
Offended? why? I find that strange. To be able to attract men at this stage in life is a compliment. He might have noticed something more than just outer beauty, something deeper. I say that is a wonderful experience and many women will envy. have fun
• Spain
13 Oct 09
I do have fun, and I think that is probalby why I attracted this guy. Too many people these days just don't know how to enjoy themselves. As I said, I have no intention of taking up the invitation, but it's nice to know I coulf if I wanted to.
2 people like this
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
13 Oct 09
I react the same way as you did.Knowing nothing will come of it makes it very flattering.Everyone needs to feel a boost every once in a while.Enjoy all the looks you can and never be offended by a complement or something that makes you feel 20 years younger.We are entitled, to this once in a while. As long as you stay with your man that you love its all good!Another can flatter away ,its always fun to know your not so bad anyway ! ENJOY
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Hello, and thanks for your lovely response. I'm not at all offended, but my friend seems to think I should be - possibly because, as Thea said above, she doesn't get much male attention herself. And yes, I have enjoyed the attention.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (13038)
13 Oct 09
I think there are alot of people that seem to like the knowing of someone who likes you as this is a big boost,but just like you i would never do anything either as i am also married,not always happily married but still married.Well done.
2 people like this
• Spain
13 Oct 09
As you say, marriage may not always be happy, but it is a commitment. I certainly enjoyed the boost to my confidence, though. I wouldn't take it further, but it's nice to think I could if I wanted to.
2 people like this
• Canada
13 Oct 09
Good for you, Sandra1952!! I think you should be thrilled at how it made you feel. We can all do with a good boost to our self-esteem. I mean, certainly, you did the right thing in how you responded and, as someone else already mentioned, I would imagine the man didn't know your personal circumstances. However, I don't see any reason why someone finding you attractive would be cause to be offended. I say enjoy the compliment!
2 people like this
• Spain
13 Oct 09
I did enjoy the compliment, and I know I didn't send out the wrong signals, so I have nothing to reproach myself for. It was totally unexpected, and a real boost to my ego.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18313)
• Greece
13 Oct 09
Hi Sandra, good for you still pulling the men in, nothing wrong with that at all and why not get a boost out of it, especially when it's a good looking one. You'd be fighting them off over here. Was it a Spanish one by any chance? Presumably your friend wasn't getting the same kind of attention if she thinks you should have been offended, I'd say enjoy it for what it is my dear, just wowing with your natural charm and beauty. I don't find it particularly flattering when I take a look at the actual fan club, but I must admit to a litte frisson last week when a good looking one turned up, all dark and brooding, in the cafenion, and fixed his eyes as it were, but I'm not meant to be looking back. Living out here though I've definitely shed a lot of years though as if they all want to go round presuming I'm at least 10 years younger than I am then let them get on with it.
1 person likes this
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Hello, Thea. No, it wasn't a Spanish man, it was an English chap we know quite well. He knows I'm happily married, and he wasn't drunk at the time, so it's a real boost. We've had a stressful time back in England, so it's lovely to get back here and find I'm the belle of the ball - even if an unlikely one! I think you're right about my friend. Like you, I've shed the years since I lived here - it's the lifestyle, the sun, and the healthy diet. Someone did a double take when I told them I was 57 - they said they had me placed in my early forties, which is another boost. However, when a good looking man tries to seriously chat you up, it's a wonderful tonic, whatever your age, and there's no harm in it, as long as you're just window shopping and not sampling what's on offer.
@thea09 (18313)
• Greece
14 Oct 09
It's true actually you know, you look younger on your latest picture than the avatar one. Basil is a lucky man.
1 person likes this
• Spain
15 Oct 09
Thanks for that. I'll be putting myself in for Miss World if the compliments keep coming!
• United States
6 Feb 10
Flattered would definitely have been my reaction, too. While I was helping my parents out this Summer, my mom and I were at the store and an elderly gentleman was flirting with my mom, who is in her seventies. At first, she did not realize that he was flirting. When she finally realized what was happening, she turned red but handled the situation very graciously. After he had gone, my mom was laughing and said that she could not believe that such a "distinguished looking gentleman" would be interested in her, especially since he could not have been more than sixty (this is funny, because people often do not think that she is more than sixty, either). I could tell that it really made her day, though. When we got home, we of course had to tease my dad about the encounter. It did not bother him at all, though. He just said that obviously other guys would find my mom attractive, because he has excellent taste. Besides, ladies have always found my dad attractive, so it has never bothered him when gentlemen have noticed my mom, as long as they have been respectful about it. If either of them were to get jealous when somebody looked at their spouse, then they both would have gone crazy by now, because they were both hot when they were younger (alright, that does not sound right to say that about my parents, but it is true - I have seen the pictures!).
1 person likes this
• Spain
6 Feb 10
Hello, PA. Your parents sound great fun, and they sound as if they are still very much in love. Yes, I was very flattered, and it made my day. It's nice to be considered attractive whatever your age, as long as there is respect there as well as liking.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 10
Yes, my parents are a lot of fun and still very much in love after fifty-six years of marriage. I do not believe that there are too many couples that can say that today, which is very sad. They both have a great sense of humor, and that (combined with their love, of course) has helped them through a lot of tough times. I am very proud to have them as my parents.
@dawnald (84316)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Oct 09
I would have been extremely embarrassed and would have slunk off, but secretly I would have been flattered. Especially if he wasn't looking at the twins while he was hitting on me!
1 person likes this
• Spain
15 Oct 09
Hello, Dawn. I wasn't embarrassed, and my twins are not so well developed as yours, so I know that wasn't the attraction. I just felt really good that I could still reel 'em in at 57.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84316)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Oct 09
I would have too...
• Malaysia
13 Oct 09
57 is not old. We need to watch our body mass index. Also do a regiment of exercise.Have a normal diet, avoiding too much carbohydrates and fat. That should keep you a a healthy 57.
1 person likes this
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Thanks for the response and the dietary advice - although the exercise regime is out, as I have a lot of joint problems which would be aggravated by certain forms of exercise.
• United States
6 Feb 10
Sandra, certainly there are certain forms of exercise that you are still able to engage in and more importantly enjoy. That will not only help to keep you fit but also happy and ... erm, satisfied.
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
hello Sandra1952, i'm so happy to know that at your age, someone got attracted to you without even trying. then you must be beautiful not only from the outside but also in the inside as well. you can really see the real beuty from within. and you are indeed right, that when you go older our health is getting bad no matter what we do. just watch your diet. stay safe.
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Hello, Robert, what a lovely thing to say - thank you. Funnily enough, out here in Spain, I find I lose weight without even trying, as we eat a lot of fruit and salad, and swim and walk every day, so I'm getting there, and this has given my self esteem a real boost.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
Yeah, there are a lot of slim people in Europe. It's a good place to reduce weight.
@mysdianait (66224)
• Italy
13 Oct 09
Now who suggested in the first place that 57 is old and past it? It's not (I hope lol). I bet that was a real booster and I know that it makes you feel good all over. I think you handled it perfectly and I love your comment above where you say you will not let hubby know to save bother Well done!
1 person likes this
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Thanks, Diana. I'm still smiling. Of course I don't think I'm old and past it, but I was trying to think of a title that wouldn't give the wrong impression of me or the incident. Anyway, it's nice to have so many responses and so much fun.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66224)
• Italy
14 Oct 09
We are never too old for fun Especially we if we go back to being kids as we grow older
@ronnyb (6117)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 09
lol great discussion I guess I would have felt like you but I am most impressed that you turned him down because it shows that you are quite self confident and didnt need a man to validate you and also that you do ove your husband very much.I dont think you should feel like you were available ,you should be feel good but you handled yourself well
1 person likes this
• Spain
21 Oct 09
Thanks ronny, that seems to be the prevailing opinion here. I certainly don't need or want another man, and I'm not a clingy sort who has to have a man around, but I certainly felt flattered and very, very feminine. It's nice to be desired at any age, and at 57 it shows I must be looking after myself if I can still attract admiration. I think my friend was just jealous that she didn't get the attention, although she'd probably die rather than admit it!
@KrauseHome (36629)
• United States
20 Oct 09
Personally for me, I would have been feeling good if this happened to me, but I am Happily Married as well, and so I would have taken it as a compliment and then let it alone. I do not wear a wedding ring due to personal choice so it does happen from time to time but I never hide the fact I am Happily married either, so I feel it can be a compliment sometimes for other men to still notice me as well.
1 person likes this
• Spain
20 Oct 09
Same here - it was a nice compliment, but that's as far as it goes. Still, it gives a great lift to the spirits, way out of proportion to what actually happened. I think because I'm happy with my life, that probably makes me more attractive, and most of the responders who've had the same thing happen are also happy with their partners, so it's a case of a happy disposition and perhaps also the unattainable aspect, which seems to be a come on to men, whatever the situation.
@crys7881 (267)
• United States
18 Oct 09
I would have been flattered just like you were!! lol and would have had the same reaction, I'm not married but I love my boyfriend more than anything! So no other guy would make me risk my relationship. Something similar happened to me a week or so ago actually. We ran into a store real quick for something and when we got to the car my boyfriend was actually mad! lol I was like huh? why? He said the guy was seriously flirting with me, I still think he was just being nice and talkative but my boyfriend thought otherwise! I don't think I'm reallt receptive to those type of things so I just blow it off and don't think anything of it, but my boyfriend sure did!!! But like you said, it makes you feel good!!
1 person likes this
• Spain
19 Oct 09
Hello, Crys. I think the point here is, like you, I didn't realise I was being admired. That makes us more natural in our behaviour, and so more attractive as a person, don't you think? It's a double helping of feel good factor as well that your boyfriend was jealous. In our situation, though, I wouldn't like my husband to find out about it and be jealous, as he's quite a lot older than me, and I think it would give his self esteem a bit of a battering.
@versio9 (329)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
good for you! we need such attention once in a while and there is nothing wrong with feeling great when a man appreciates you. you do not feel offended because you are confident and mature.
1 person likes this
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Hey, thanks for that! As you say, it's nice to be appreciated, and it's certainly made my week a wole lot nicer. It's great that so many people have responded as well - I've obviously struck a chord with this discussion.
13 Oct 09
Like you, i would be very flattered. It is nice to get such a compliment, and it will boost your ego! Good for you girl!..
1 person likes this
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Thanks for that. Any compliment is nice to receive, but one that makes you feel so good about yourself is the nicest of all, and there's no harm done, as I won't be taking up the offer.
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 Oct 09
Well, I'm 58, in quite good health, and love it when younger women make a play for me, which they do all the time. Mind you, I fall for women who turn me down too. I think its a compliment when somebody makes a play for you at this late age. It shows you still got it, babe !
• Spain
14 Oct 09
It's been a long time since I've been called babe - thanks! Yes, I saw it as a compliment, it's my friend who seems to have the problem with it. If I'm a babe, you must be a babe magnet, if you attract younger women. It sounds as if you're full of fun, and that's often more attractive than mere physical good looks.
@SallyAnna (143)
• United States
13 Oct 09
I've always been a huge flirt and love the attention. When I was younger I never thought much of it. However, NOW when a man shows an interest in me it really melts my butter. LOL
1 person likes this
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Hello, and welcome to Mylot. I love 'it melts my butter,' I must remember that one! I've always been a flirt, and so has my husband, but it's all innocent stuff. I'm still smiling now, days later, so it's a better tonic than anything I could have got on prescription!
@popciclecold (22468)
• United States
13 Oct 09
Hi Sandra, I am like you it would certainly be a lift to ones spirit. I'll be 61 next month, and I was telling a man That I would be retiring next year. He told me that for my age I looked good. I felt so inspired, not in a lusty way, but in a good way. Often I think of that, and some of the young women say I hope I look as good as you when I reach your age. It certainly is a lift. popciclecold
• Spain
14 Oct 09
Hello, and welcome to Mylot. Yes, it's given me a real boost, and, like you, there was no question of any improper behaviour. It's just nice to know that we've still got it as we approach 60. When I was a teenager, 60 seemed ancient, but now I'm almost there, it's a great place to be!