Husband is older than her father,what's your oppion?
By zhouxi
@zhouxi (1752)
China
October 21, 2009 6:40am CST
I saw a TV program yesterday.it reported a woman,she didn't allow to back her own home to see her father and mother by her parents.because she married a man who is older than her father.she missed her parents deeply,so she asked the pressman accompany her husband and daugter back her hometown together.what's the result?her parents didn't open the door for her and refused them.they are shamed of the marriage.if you are her parents,what would you do?
10 people like this
49 responses
@Lucky09 (1763)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
hi zhouxi^^;;
there are really many strange things happening in the world.
first things i would like to know is what is her age and the man's age..
and what is the main reason she got married with him?
was it really love? or was it blindness covered by money and ignorance?
i cannot blame the parents' reaction because maybe they've never dreamed and expected their daughter to get married with an old man. Though maybe the parents could have atleast talked to her so they can know the reason all behind and maybe persuade her to change her mind.
first things i would like to know is what is her age and the man's age..
and what is the main reason she got married with him?
was it really love? or was it blindness covered by money and ignorance?
i cannot blame the parents' reaction because maybe they've never dreamed and expected their daughter to get married with an old man. Though maybe the parents could have atleast talked to her so they can know the reason all behind and maybe persuade her to change her mind.1 person likes this
@Lucky09 (1763)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
the woman is forty? then i think there is no problem with that...
i thought it's like a girl of 20's marrying 40's-60's 
so i would understand the parents but no..she was in the right age when she married him. they are married for years having a child so it means they really love each other.
hhmmm...i think the parents just expected too high from their daughter and the parents are not that way understanding...
so i would understand the parents but no..she was in the right age when she married him. they are married for years having a child so it means they really love each other.
hhmmm...i think the parents just expected too high from their daughter and the parents are not that way understanding...1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
21 Oct 09
[b]I guess I can understand the parents' concern, but if the couple actually are otherwise well-suited, surely complete rejection is going too far! Don't they love her? Often "May-December" marriages are happy. Why not just accept their choice? How would it hurt anyone? After all, it can't be changed by such rash behavior! 
Maggiepie
"OBAMA IS AN 'UNDOCUMENTED WORKER!'"[/b]
Maggiepie
"OBAMA IS AN 'UNDOCUMENTED WORKER!'"[/b]1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
21 Oct 09
[b]I definitely think they should. Why are they so angry? Do they think he might die before her? So what if he does?! Men often die younger than women, anyway, & no-one knows how long one will live (except for condemned criminals...
). But I see no reason to reject her altogether! If they do, they won't be able to see any grandchildren.
Maybe when the first baby comes, they will rethink their position...
Maggiepie
"OBAMA IS AN 'UNDOCUMENTED WORKER!'"[/b]
). But I see no reason to reject her altogether! If they do, they won't be able to see any grandchildren.
Maybe when the first baby comes, they will rethink their position...
Maggiepie
"OBAMA IS AN 'UNDOCUMENTED WORKER!'"[/b]1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
26 Oct 09
Hello zhouxi,
I have mixed feelings about this. I understand that if a woman marries to a younger man or too old man, people will start talking about the issue. It seems abnormal to most of the people. I, myself married to a man a few years younger than me but then again, age gap is not a big issue for us or for our family. If the same thing happens to my son (if he intends to marry a woman older than him), I have no problem too as long as he doesn't choose someone who is considered too old for him or even older than me!
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6340)
• India
21 Oct 09
The story is quite embarrassing to hear.I won't blame those parents.At least nobody will accept this type of marrying a older man.Some girls and even boys develop crush towards matured people.That can be understandable but making a decision to marry them is very odd.That old man should have thought twice and should have refused the offer.He was really greedy,I think.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98701)
• India
21 Oct 09
Hi srganesh, I beg to differ. It is upto a grown up to select whom they want. Personally, yes, it would feel odd. If I had a daughter it would be difficult to accept I suppose. However, personal considerations differ. Who knows why the girl feels insecure with people of her own generation. May be the guys she knows are just too immature, or doing things that she doesnt appreciate. It can happen that intellectually and emotionally she bonds well with somebody much older. Look at the positives, chances of being divorced are far lesser. The guy is going to be more mature and hopefully more experienced in helping her out of her problems. May be the girl is disappointed with her father and is seeking a father figure. Who knows? I wouldn't think so much about it. As to the guy refusing - u bet he would have tried. It would have been the girl who would have tried to convince him that she would somehow manage. Especially in these matters as he would have to confront the wrath of the entire society. Dont u think?
@haiershen (1080)
• China
26 Oct 09
if i were her partents,it is very hard to be acceptable.as all of our partents would like to their daughter have a good married,yes, all of us in the word said that real love do not need to consider about the age, but in this case the gap for them is too large to accept.all the partents are love their child very much, maybe as the times go by,the couple are still with a good relationship.the finally result is their partents would be accepted.good luck and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@sblossom (2168)
•
26 Oct 09
If I’m the parent I would accept it and give the girl best wishes. I think she has the right to choose any one as her husband including an old man as if the choice is made by her.
I think as parents they should have open mind why they give themselves also their daughter the pressure. The idea of marriage is already very old.
Also I think the parents don’t know how to show their love to their children. It maybe a reason of that the daughter chose an old man because she grew in a non-tolerant family and not get enough life in the family.
1 person likes this
@Ruralchook (538)
• Australia
25 Oct 09
Of course its very disturbing. I certainly wouldnt approve and would do everything in my power to stop the relationship to start with.
But if they continued and I saw they genuinely loved each other it would easse things maybe a little. But I certainly wouldnt disown my daughter for it, her partner might cop a hiding and be banned from the house though.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
21 Oct 09
I would find it very uncomfortable....but would still welcome my daughter home. My friend's husband is the same age as her dad.....he also won't speak to her husband but does speak to her....so if and when she wants to visit her husband can't go with....it's very hurtful to my friend.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
24 Oct 09
Hello zhouxi. It is hard to be acceptable in our culture, but still there are some lovers with a huge age gap. I used to have a couple of colleagues, whose age gap is the same as you are talking about here. It is an international or interracial marriage, with more than twenty years gap between. But they are a nice couple with two beautiful kids of their own.
1 person likes this
@michaeldadona (5684)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 09
As thing already done, I don't have any choice or any other alternative except to accept whatever nature 'gift'...hahaha!. What else to say!!! I must mostly and warmly welcome them with my nice and sincere greetings - Come in...Come in...come in my daughter and my son-in-law. I must do great 'play up' like an actor seems whom already ten (10) times awarded 'The World Best Actor'. Nature gives me a new 'mandate'...hahaha!
1 person likes this
@prakrithi (83)
• India
21 Oct 09
hi....acc to me i would advice her before making some decision of marrying such a
old man....second thing if she doesn agree den i would stop speaking to her dats
it...no parents wants their children to marry a old man wen that too she s so
young....first i would be angry on her but if she s convinces me somehow den i
would try to speak to ma daughters husband also!!!!have a nice day!!!
1 person likes this
@mariovalentino69 (88)
• Indonesia
21 Oct 09
i think it's crazy thing my friend.i think there many men around the world younger
1 person likes this
@mielshare (265)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
I don't see anything wrong with that kind of relationship as long as you love each other. On the part of the parents it is really a little bit shameful but we can't do anything about it because that person is chosen by daughter. Maybe that older man can make the daughter happy in a way that her parents cannot do.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
22 Oct 09
when my children become adults. over the age of 21, i don't really care who the marry or fell in love with. i want them to be happy. i want them to make choices for themselves and learn from life like i did. who they want to love and marry is none of my business. as long as that person loves them back i am happy
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
23 Oct 09
Dear friend,
For the parents it is really a bad time and moreover I hope if they are going well it would be better. But the girls parents really might have worries on this as it would bring much of uncomfortable in social values. But if these married couples are well going I hope it upto them.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
22 Oct 09
If I am her parent, I accept her. Because marry older than me is not an option to angry with her. That is her choice and everyone having the right to choose what she feel to love more and comfort more from that person...There is no other thing to me but accept. Cause older man is much lovable and caring than young one...Have a nice day!
@happy6162 (3001)
• United States
23 Oct 09
If they love each other then I do not see anything wrong with them gettting married. I think the parents are being childish and should just except the marriage and welcome both their daughter and her husband.
1 person likes this
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
23 Oct 09
in fact, i do cant accept someone who's older than my father to be my husband.
but if i were her father, i think i'll be angry at first, and persuade her not to do it. but if they got married, then i'll think maybe it's true love. and then i'll accept it slowly. 
1 person likes this
