Is it right for a grandma to make fun of her grandchild?

@cream97 (29166)
United States
November 23, 2009 8:00pm CST
My mother-in-law can be so evil at times. When I was staying with her my son had on shoes that were tore up to the front. His toe was showing through the shoe.. Don't laugh, myLot! At that time we could not afford to get him a new pair of shoes. We, as his parents were having a hard time in buying him new shoes. Well, one day my mother-in-law mentioned to me about his shoes. She told me that something told her to go and tell me and my husband that our son's shoes was tore up. And then she said that she was not going to do that because we had already knew that his shoes were tore. She decided not to ask us about this because in her right mind, she knew that we were aware of our son's shoes being torn to the front. I know that when she brought this to my attention that she was trying to be funny. My question to myLot is, why would a grandma think this is funny? If she sees her grandson shoes like that, shouldn't she at least try to offer to buy him a new pair, instead of attempting to make fun of him? I know that my mother-in-law was trying to make a joke out of it. But I paid her no attention. I just simply told her that we were going to get him some new shoes very soon. Which we eventually did. When my son got his new shoes he said grandma look at my shoes, and I did not hear her say a word.
8 people like this
16 responses
@peedielyn (1210)
• United States
24 Nov 09
My step-mother is like this only she picks at the physical things. I will be honest I have 4 great kids and unfortunately my girls got the looks of the bunch. I am not being mean or rude, but my boys' are both in awkward states right now. Anyhow, without going too deep, I raised my youngest all by myself. No change of custody or anything and tended to show her a little more favortism than the others. I bonded with her from day one and always had her with me. Well, one day we were talking about the genetic traits that my kids inherited from me. My son kota, is heavy but has my pointy chin, and my son enoch happens to look just like me. They all have my eyes and my oldest girl has my hair color. Well, when it got to my youngest (who had a crossed eye before her surgery) she immediately dug into her. She said things like she looked like a reta*d because she's a pigeon toed, bow legged dork and her head is too big for her body. Those of you who know me from facebook, have access to what my kids look like and you tell me what my dear Biskit looks like. I have good looking kids but that day she tore into the little one with no remorse. I later heard her talking about how she felt sorry for my kids because they would grow up looking like me. She said things when I was a kid that I was too skinny and no real man would ever want me and that I had big lips (only racially charged) and my daddy never paid a sitter cuz he could lick my lips and stick me to a window. She's always attacked me like that and when I blew her comments off she started on my kids. I know how you feel and the more you ignore her the less she will do it. Or be like me and bite back. I always tell her that I hope no one paid her pennies for her thoughts because they would be wasting their money. Or you could have said "Thank you captain OBVIOUS". Good luck to ya!
3 people like this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Hi, peedielyn. Your stepmother is a witch from the pits of Hades! She is very cruel and nasty!! Her attitude stinks! I know that you have beautiful kids. She is just plain old jealous! I have a stepmother and I have never seen her act this way. She did told my daddy that she did not want my picture in her home. So, my daddy took the picture and brought it to his sisters house. My aunt had extra pictures of me on her wall.. I am glad that you remain mature for someone like your stepmother. She should be careful how she speaks about someone else's offspring. She never know, her kids can actually come out looking deformed.
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
29 Nov 09
[b]Are those your kids in your avatar? If so, there's not a thing wrong with the way they look--they're adorable!! What sort of person is this woman??? I wouldn't let her anywhere near me or my kids (if I had kids)! She's awful! Who needs her? Good grief! Maggiepie "GLOBALLY ACCEPTABLE 'TRUTH'" IS UNAMERICAN![/b]
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
7 Dec 09
Yes, her kids are very adorable. Her stepmother is just mean and nasty! It is so sad for her to be this way with your kids. She is just jealous, that is all. Don't pay her any attention!
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
24 Nov 09
Some grand parents are indeed cruel. My grandmother used to make my mother cry with what she used to tell her. I remember my grandmother being very contemptous of us children as a little boy. I guess it depends on the person.
@SomeCowgirl (32264)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I don't think she was making fun of your son. I think that she was maybe telling you that you needed to buy him new shoes, or making fun of you because you couldn't, but either way it sounds like she was being mean. I don't think it's right at all for anyone to make fun of a child, but especially if a family member is making fun of a child, that is just very sad indeed! A shoe is a shoe and as long as it protects the feet it is fine, also shoes can be expensive, so sometimes you have to wait to get a good pair of shoes until you have the money!
2 people like this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
26 Nov 09
Hi, Somecowgirl! See that is the thing, she didn't need to tell me that my son needed a new pair of shoes. I already knew that. I saw how his shoes fitted him. You are so very right, she was being mean. She was just trying to make me feel bad by letting me know about my son's shoes. She knew that I knew... She just wanted to bring the topic up just to see how I might would react.
3 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32264)
• United States
29 Nov 09
I've got family members who try to goad me on to see how I will react. It's kind of sick if you ask me that family would do that.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
29 Nov 09
It is sick and it is dumb too! My mil is well known for pushing up crap just to see what I am going to say and how I will react. I don't like her testing me!! People in this world love to do this, I wonder what satisfaction do they gain?? Because, I look at them as if they are childish and ignorant!
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
24 Nov 09
Well nothing is wrong with a grandma making fun of her grandchild if its done in a way that they both can laugh about it .My grandma and I had a lot of fun together but I think the way she did it was wrong and if the child had heard her it would have made the child resent her.If my grandma had made fun of me she would have atleast tried to get me a new pair
2 people like this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Hi, ronnyb. And that is the thing about it, my son loves her dearly. In his eyes his grandma can do no wrong. But he does not know what mommy has discovered about her. She can be pickyfied when she wants to be..
@advokatku (4036)
• Indonesia
24 Nov 09
Be wise and patient, my friend ... what say your mother in-laws are only a sense of sympathy and prayer your in-law on your condition unable to buy new shoes for your child. I am sure, if your in-laws can afford to buy new shoes, she would buy new shoes for her grandchildren, unfortunately she was also not able to, so she could only pray for you with a way to make it as a joke. Believe me, a grandmother must be very fond of his own grandson
2 people like this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Hi, advokatku. Grandmothers are supposed to be sweet and kind. But not all grandmothers are made out to be so lovely. Mu mil can be evil when she wants to be. Everything seems to be so funny to her. But she needs to take a look at herself in the mirror and she will see something funny that she can the laugh at.
@coolcoder (2019)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I'm not seeing where you think she was trying to be funny. From what I get, she simply decided not to ask you about your son's shoes; maybe because she thought it wasn't any of her business. I don't see the joke that you thought she was pulling. Can you clarify?
2 people like this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Hi, coolcoder. Here is the deal. My son's shoes were tore to the front. My mil knew that they were torn. She brought it to my attention to see what I would say. THEREFORE, she was trying to be funny. I know that she was. You may think that she wasn't. Trust me I have been around her, long enough to know how she rolls. Anytime that brings something to my attention she is looking to stir up trouble. And other grandmother would have offered to help out or they would have said nothing. This is my clarification for you. I hope that you understand where I am taking this discussion.
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
25 Nov 09
That can be verbally abusive and your son shouldn't have to put up with that. Being an adult, I would think that your mother-in-law has a bit of a mean streak and your son is the one who'll pay for it in the long run. I feel very sorry for your mother-in-law and I hope that soon she realizes what she is doing. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
2 people like this
@salonga (27858)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Your mother in law is some kind of b!tch, sorry to say! Instead of doing something to provide new shoes to her grandchild she even could afford to laugh at the torn shoes. How dare her laugh at that poor state of her very own grandchild? Well, I believe that torn shoes is not even funny. It is actually a touching sight. If I see my grandchild wearing torn shoes, I will not waste a time and would immediately buy him a new pair. Well, if you grandmother would reason out, she does not have the money either, they she could at least have just kept her mouth shot instead of ridiculing the child or making fun of him.
2 people like this
@yecal10 (144)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Sometimes life sure can be challenging. Well, congratulations in getting him the new shoes. I know you were glad when you could afford it. As far as her, what can you do but forget it. Maybe she felt uncomfortable.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164338)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Nov 09
cream97 I really don't know but she might have been embarrassed and did not want to show it andjust laughed to cover it. sometimes people laugh, and at the stupidest times, and I think its because they are hard put to know what to say. I agree she seems to have a really warped sense of humor,to laugh at a child because he has a ripped shoe. that is sure not what most grandmothers would do or I hope not. Surely she knew you were having financial problems so why did she do that, it would have been better if she had offered to help buy him new shoes or even best just bought them for him. but I do not really know your mother in law's financial situation, Cream maybe she is not as well off as you might think?
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Nov 09
She probably knew you and your husband were having a hard time and was just trying to make light of the subject so you wouldn't be upset that she noticed. And she didn't buy him new shoes out of fear she may offend you in doing so. I could be wrong in this but that's my take. But because you didn't take the bait and were offended, she probably saw that and may be the reason she didn't respond to your son on his new shoes, out of fear of offending you even further.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Hi, CatsandDogs. I would like to see it this way, but I am afraid that I can't. You see I have been through so much crap with my mil. She has put me through the wind and back. I know when she is trying to be funny. I wonder, why would she tell me about my sons shoes when she knew that we already knew. She made the comment: Something told me to go and ask me and my husband about my son's shoes... And then she tells me, that she says that she is not going to do that because me and my husband already knew about our son's shoes. You see, something is telling her to be mean to me... My mil has some mental issues going on. She does receive a check a month..
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Nov 09
In that case, if she can be so damned forward, why can't you? Seriously. If she can say what's on her mind, why can't you? You need to put her in her place where she belongs once and for all instead of walking away keeping the peace. She's going to continue to walk all over you if you don't put a stop to it. Also, it'll clear the air too of anything that might be taken the wrong way. In that case, it's time to have open ears and listen to each other. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
27 Nov 09
You are so right! I will tell her how I really feel. And I have done this so many times. She just goes back to being mean over and over again. I won't stop letting her know what is on my mind. I have decided a while back, that I would put her in her place every time she gets out of line with me. And I have been doing so. And I will continue to do so. I wonder, just when will she change her ways around me? Is this how people that have mental disorders behave? She is the only person that acts like this.
@madteaparty (2761)
• Japan
28 Nov 09
Probably she just wasn't trying to laugh at your child's condition. Maybe she just didn't know what to do in that situation or how to help. In case it wasn't like that, I think that of course grandmas shouldn't make fun of their grandchilds, but usually grandmas love their grandchilds very much, so probably she wasn't trying to do anything bad.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
28 Nov 09
Hi madteaparty. Making fun of my children is very bad in my eyes, especially if the person that is doing it, is supposed to love them so. My mil did know what to do in this situation. The resolution would be to buy him some new shoes, or she could have given me or her son the money to help buy them. She wants to get my kids gifts for Christmas, so if you can know to do this, then she could have been able to buy my son shoes to wear. I am sorry if this sounds harsh but it is not my intention.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
28 Nov 09
If she did not know what to do in this situation, then she should have kept her lame comment to herself. If I did not know what to do in this situation, I would have kept quiet. It is all about using simple common sense, and apparently, my mil did not use hers.
@lelin1123 (15639)
• Puerto Rico
1 Dec 09
The only thing I can say about this is the grandmother should have brought the shoes for her grandson. I know I have brought many a pair of shoes for my granddaughter because I don't want to see her without. Her foot is growing very fast so between her parents and myself we are always buying shoes or sneakers for her. She should have offered to buy them for him. Shame on the grandmother.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
1 Dec 09
Yes, I agree that she should have offered to buy shoes for him, lelin1123. Instead of her mentioning this to me she should have been helping. Yes shame on her for not offering to buy him new shoes. My mother's mom is always giving my kids clothes and shoes.. She would never pick at her grandkids. If she saw them in need, she will go out of her way to give them what they need. I don't know what to say about my mil. She is fool!
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Hi Cream, It's sad that you have a Mother-in-law who is not only selfish but thoughtless. I know how it feels when your little one needs shoes or anything for that matter, and you just can't afford it. When my Son was little, I used to buy his at this 5 and dime type store. They were cheap and quite suitable. He would wear them out before he grew out of them. Places like K-Mart and Walmart have perfectly fine shoes. I have bought many shoes from there and places like that. For me it is about comfort and cost. I know, sometimes or should I say often times we don't even have the money for that. Kids are great. They know they will get what they need as soon as mommy and daddy can get it. Shame on Grandma for not helping and making fun. Leenie
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
26 Nov 09
Hi, leenie50. Yes shame on her for not helping out. I have never heard of five and dime store.. Yes, I shop at Walmart for shoes. I usually go there to get Starter shoes as the name brand. My son has worn Starter shoes twice from Walmart.
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
That type of grandma is not a good one. She should be embarrassed to see her grandson wearing a torn shoes and bought her a new one? If I am the grandmother? I would pity my grandson, not make fun of him but buy him one. I would be sad if my grandchildren are not having good shoes.
@pxm204192 (160)
• China
24 Nov 09
donot let you think about somebody some worse about somebody,perhaps your relationships make funs for the monotonuous ordinary life,and let the tiduous living make some fun of them,after all, they have a beautiful initiation to good for their children.