Don't you know its unhealthy to be so fat? Say what!

@Hatley (164171)
Garden Grove, California
January 28, 2010 11:52am CST
I was reading some comments in a magazine about how fat people keep getting told by strangers that they were overweight. Well my question to you is what right does a stranger have to tell you anything about your weight? I mean come on, we have mirrors, we go to doctors, we know we are overweight. So why does a stranger have any right to question us or make fun of us? Do we have to wear a board around our neck saying" I know I am overweight. Yes I have a doctor. Yes I have a mirror." Why must people always judge us, how many skinny people have to hear, did you know its unhealthy to be so skinny?"
18 people like this
59 responses
@vandana7 (75804)
• India
28 Jan 10
Hi Hatley, I am also overweight. :) But I am ok with most others calling me fat, except a few of my friends or relatives who are a bit sarcastic. So when they say it, I tend to react (not that I have on this issue, but on other issues). I am concerned about my weight, and I am trying to bring it down. Hopefully by year end, I would be down at least one kg. :) I am 61 kgs. now. :)
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
hi vandy me too. I don't like people telling me its not healthy as if I was too stupid to know that. I did not mind my hubby teasing as he was not unkind. Also he knew I was under my doctor's care too.
@ajithlal (14618)
• India
31 Oct 12
I also think that people should not use words like fat, etc and I think people who use it are people who does not care for others. I think it is always good to diet and exercise and be in shape. I also need to lose couple of kilos and need to work for it.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10422)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Hi Hatley I've been skinny, fat, and everywhere in between, and yup, my mirror and my doctor were all I needed to let me know how I looked and what was healthy and what wasn't. People are rude and thoughtless. Trouble is, these things often come back to bite them in the behind! Karen
3 people like this
@ajithlal (14618)
• India
5 May 12
I think the real beauty comes from the heart and not the physical appearance. I also think it is rude to comment people on their appearance and it is not good if the person hears the comment.
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
29 Jan 10
Hi Hatley! It's really rude to do that. It's not nice to make fun of someone no matter what the reason is. I have a very close friend and also a cousin who is overweight. Sometimes they would ask me if I think they should loose weight. I would ask back, "Do you want to loose weight?" They would usually say Yes. I would ask them why they want to loose weight. Most of the time their answer will be because they want to be sexy and be beautiful. I would tell them that if they want to loose wieght then do it for their own good not because other people are telling them that they have to. I mean they are both beautiful and I'm always telling that to them. I even think my cousin is kind of overreacting because I don't think she is overweight. I always tell her she is just voluptous and I think it's sexy. She's comparing her self to me. I used to be skinny. My waistline was only 23 then and she wants to have the same waistine as mine. I kept telling her it is impossible because we have a different bone structure. She is a big girl and I am petite and I told her she wouldn't look good with a waistline of 23. She's really beautiful and I don't know why it seems she does not want to believe me. I told her she does not need to be skinny like the supermodels to be beautiful. I even told her she's not a ramp model so why would she want to be skinny. It's not like she's going to loose her job unless being skinny is part of the qualifications right? My friend though gave up on sulking because of her weight and I'm happy for her. Sometimes whenever we are together children would make fun of her. I don't know why even children at their very young age could be like that. That's the reason I told my self I would make sure my children will not be like that. I could not blame their parents because nowadays children are more exposed in media (t.v. programs, internet, etc.). If you are going to watch T.V. programs and even commercials sometimes their topic for fun would be the gender, race, weight of the person, etc.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Jan 10
Unfortunately, I think that some people feel the need to put down and make fun of others to feel better about themselves. I never understood this way of thinking, but I have encountered it so many times in my life that I know that there are truly people out there that believe this way of thinking makes sense. It seems obvious to me that if you want to feel better about yourself, then you should try to change the things that you are not happy with in yourself. Apparently this is not as obvious to everyone, though. After my last pregnancy, I did not lose the weight that I had gained during my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I tried to lose it, but there were complications from my C-section and other factors that were working against me. The doctors were not concerned with my weight and said that I would lose it in time, but I needed to be patient. There were one or two people that were a little rude to me about the weight, especially one particular time I was not moving fast enough for this couple when I was walking out of the store. As soon as they realized that I had a newborn baby with me, though, then they seemed embarrassed and even held the door for me as I left.
3 people like this
@LaurenInLA (2271)
• United States
28 Jan 10
A stranger has absolutely no right to come up to anyone and make any sort of comment on a person's pysical appearance. It's amazing to me that people feel so free to comment on a person's weight. Would they walk up to an unattractive person and tell them that they are ugly? In terms of skinny people, just yesterday, I heard of a term that I've never heard before, normal weight obesity. It seems that you can be a normal weight for your height and still have a body fat percentage that puts you at risk for diseases that are typically associated with obesity.
3 people like this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
hi laureninLA I agree a stranger has no right to give advice to me or any other overweight person. I had never heard of that term, normal weight obesity. but I had known that you can be a normal weight and still have fat in the wrong places like your waist line.
@dawnald (84201)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Jan 10
It happens to skinny people too. But no matter which it is, commenting upon a person's appearance that way is just RUDE. Sometimes I think nobody has any manners any more. Or maybe they just think you're stupid? Well really, I doubt most of those people are deliberately being insulting, they probably just think they're being helpful when they're really being clueless. I remember Dear Abby or Ann Landers had a comeback, something like this, "why ever would you want to ask such a question", accompanied by an offended look. If that doesn't get the message across, the person is just hopelessly dense!
2 people like this
• United States
28 Jan 10
I am glad that you mentioned that it does happen to skinny people, too, Dawn. For quite a few years I was very skinny, although I ate like a pig. I was very active and have a naturally high metabolism, so I found it very difficult to put on weight. I had so many people say that I was anorexic or bulimic, even though they did not know me but felt that they had a right to judge me anyway. It was very frustrating! I felt that I had to keep defending myself to these people, but how do you prove that you are not anorexic or bulimic? After a while I tried to just ignore it, but after hearing it so many times from people I even had members of my family asking whether or not it was true.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84201)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Jan 10
Fat, skinny, hurtful is hurtful... If some people realized how hurtful they were being, I think maybe they'd just SHUT UP!
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 10
No they wouldn't!
2 people like this
@dorannmwin (36652)
• United States
30 Jan 10
That's where the problems in this society come into play. The people that have eating disorders aren't told on a regular basis that they have a problem with their weight because our society smiles upon the people that are thin to the point of being unhealthy. Never have I heard a doctor say to anyone that they are too thin, but they don'thave a problem at all with telling someone that they are overweight. You don't really see people staring at an individual that is really thin, but people certainly will stare at a person that is overweight.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Feb 10
My doctor actually told me that I was over a certain amount underweight, which was just as bad as being overweight. He kept bugging me to put on weight, and I had to go through my "diet" with him just the same as I would have if I had been overweight, although obviously the diet was different because I was trying to gain weight not lose it. They did tests to make sure that there was nothing wrong with me other than the fact that I had a very high metabolism, and I was very active. I also had to go back for check-ups to make sure that I was at least maintaining my weight, although he definitely wanted to see me put on weight. No, I did not have an eating disorder, but there were some people that just assumed that I did and were very nasty about it. I know that heavy people have a difficult time, and I am not trying say that they don't, but people can be just as cruel to others that they think are too thin.
2 people like this
@maezee (40929)
• United States
29 Jan 10
LOL GREAT POST. I've never had anyone say this to me before but I can imagine it happening and I've heard of it happening to other people. You're definitely right in everything you say. We don't need judgement from strangers, period, and that's all it is. A condescending way to judge us. It's not as if these people actually really care about our health (the majority of them don't anyway), and are usually saying this just to get on our nerves.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
hi maezee I havent had it said to me for a long time, thank goodness but it really makes me angry. for one thing the person always assumes we do not care, we do not know how to lose weight, we are overeaters, and on and on.almost all the time they judge wrong and just make fools of themselves. I once told a person who was heckling me I will lose weight,but will you ever lose your rudeness. she left in a hurry.
1 person likes this
• China
29 Jan 10
It's not polite to make fun of the fat people,I think,one who is too fat or too skinny are all unhealthy,but others have no right to question them or make fun of them,it is just their private.so they don't have to wear a board around their neck also.
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
xiangchengboy you are still missing the point, the point being that the judger does not realize most of us know just what is unhealthy without a stranger telling us, and we are really doing something about it. so my point is dont be rude and judge me as you will just judge all wrong as you do not know me at all.
1 person likes this
@bingchen (1126)
• China
29 Jan 10
certainly this people have not right to value us.but what he said is right.too fat would be damaged with my health.especially we could easy have hypertension.so i think that too fat is not well for our health,we should keep weight,at the same time i dont like so skinny.it seems not well for them.we should do some exercise and eat some nutritional food to keep good health.i think that it is important for us.whatever someone say anything.do what you want is most important.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
hi bingchen I really do know that being fat is unhealthy and thats why I really hate for anyone to judge me, as I am under mydoctor's care and am really working on losing weight. I do not need strangers to tell me facts that I already know. I have had a lot of training in nutrition as i am a diabetic and also have my own dietitian so nobody needs to tell me all this. Thats what tees me off. I already knew fat is unhealthy why would I need a stranger telling me that. Did the stranger also know I was already starting to lose some weight? No of course not., then he should mind his own business.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
28 Jan 10
i never approach a person to say that he/she is overweight... it is just plain rude and it is just not appropriate to do that especially to a stranger... i don't know why people can be so rude and do that... i think people should start to mind their own business and stop butting into other people's business... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
hi lingli__78 yes its extremely rude and not at all helpful. I know I am too heavy, and mirrors don't lie and I am under a doctor's care so what more can I do. It thank goodness has been a long time since some stranger has been that forward with me. I told him that I could lose weight but could he lose ugly, and that person really hurried away.These people can dish it out but cannot take rude remarks in return.
1 person likes this
28 Jan 10
Hi Hatley, I'm sorry to say but that is part of the human nature, people always love to say things about other people before they themselves look in the mirror, I was few pounds over weight and family and friends always say something about it my weight, well now that I have lost weight they don't even complement me . Tamara
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
28 Jan 10
It's their problem Hatley. They are ignorant but always hide behind "I'm just concerned for your health"! Pah - have another slice of apple pie and don't stint with the ice cream!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
hi pikey yes exactly. everyone always knows more about one's health than we do. Okay yes I will have another slice of apple pie , and a big scoop of ice cream too. lol lol
@jdyrj777 (6541)
• United States
30 Jan 10
Lol!!! So right you are. A few years back overweight people were called healthy instead of heavy. At least around my hometown.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 10
hi jdyrj777 oh I remember those years and was glad that nobody gave me a bad time although then I was only maybe ten pounds overweight anyway. then I grew up had two babies in 11 months and gained with each and have fought weight gain ever since. I know I would never go up to a skinny person or a plump person and make a rude remark like that. I do not judge as I do not know their stories.
@jdyrj777 (6541)
• United States
25 Mar 10
I know a guy that is trying to quit now. He says he cut way down. BUT the thing is he is using a patch. He has been using the patch for 2 years or more now. I believe he is addicted to the patch now.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Mar 10
jdyrj777 I have seen people wear those for ages and wonder if that patch itself could be an addiction, maybe they would do better to try a different method. oh that about pillow coming down over your baby's face would have made me quit smoking too had I been a s moker.
@jb78000 (15163)
28 Jan 10
that is just plain rude. why would someone accost a complete stranger and give them unasked for advice?
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jan 10
It is very rude and can be extremely hurtful to the person, but unfortunately it does happen and more often than I would like to admit. I knew someone that was quite a bit overweight and had a handicapped sticker for parking. One day, I was with this person and there was another couple being very rude and saying very loudly that if the person I was with lost some weight then they would be able to walk and would not need a handicapped sticker. Besides, they said that obesity should not be considered a handicap. They were being so mean and nasty that they had the person that I was with in tears. I yelled at them saying that obesity might not be a handicap, but the fact that this person only had one good leg and the other was a prosthetic leg did indeed qualify as a handicap, and that very much entitled them to a handicapped sticker. I also said that it was a good thing that stupidity was not yet considered a handicap or they would definitely qualify for a tag themselves.
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15163)
28 Jan 10
nasty idiots
@GardenGerty (125620)
• United States
29 Jan 10
Reminds me of a response I heard that I thought was funny. "Yes, I am fat. I could lose weight tomorrow, and I would be cured. However, you, on the other hand are stupid, and there is no cure for that."
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
30 Jan 10
Hi friend! Too much of something is very bad, fat or skinny. Those who are so fat often faces many difficulties on various situations. And those who are so skinny also suffer from some physical imbalances. The best solution is to keep in a well-fitted physical form, neither fat nor skinny. We should regularly take exercises, eat healthy and balanced foods and take enough rest. Then we can live a long and healthy life.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
24 Mar 10
Well friend, We live in a society which abounds with people with different genres. There are people who don't care respecting about others feelings. You reminded me of my boyhood memories (8-10 years old). I was a fat guy then. Some people used to taunt me saying, 'Hey fatty', 'dumbbell', 'pumpkin' 'flour-sack' etc. They used to scorn/mock me. I always wanted to teach them a very good lesson. When I used to complain about it to my mother. She would say, "Don't fight or quarrel with someone. Have patience and carry on your regular tasks. One day they will praise you when they'll know that you are such a good person." And it really proved to be true. Soon when I stood first in my school exam, everybody was thundered to hear that and they stopped calling me 'fatty'. So, my request is please don't take it to heart and act normally though it's not right to call someone unknown 'something'. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 10
hi farid you mom sounds like one smart lady. She is very right of course, much as I may get angry, time will tell ,and scorners will see we are good people. Still its wrong to judge someone you do not know as you will almost always judge very wrongly. and if you do believe in Christ and God judge not lest you be judged.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
25 Mar 10
Hey friend, At present, I've firm faith on Allah and I get from Him what I need. For example, if I want people respect me, I get it automatically by the grace of Allah. I don't know why, when someone scorns me by mistake is going to be punished by Allah. He has promised man that those who'll rely on Him and have patience are sure to be rewarded in this world and the world hereafter. It's not right to judge a person wrongly. But those people who scorns other without any reason are sure to repent as there are chances of their sufferings. Allah is always with the good guys. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
1 Feb 10
People are always telling me, "You're sooo white." No, really? I didn't know that. I was born a red head, my hair fell out and came back in blond. My skin stayed like I was a red head. People say stupid things to many groups of people. Yes, I had friends that were skinny and people were always making comments about how skinny they were. I had friends with disabilities and people said stupid things. I have black relatives and people say stupid things.
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 10
hi writersedge that reminds me of a young white woman in one of the apartment complexes we lived in. she was sitting on the stairsteps' crying and I stopped and asked if I could help. she was married to a black man,a very handsome black man but he was very black.someone had made a really vile comment to her, and it just seemed to have broke her heart. we in the complex all liked the couple and saw now wrong in them, they were very much in love. I told her to ignore those kinds of people as they were totally ignorant, stupid and rude. I think it did help some as she did quit crying. people.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
24 Mar 10
My Mother used to have a saying, "Don't waste your time on idiots." If two people are happy and good to each other, I don't care what color they are; they're a good match. If people aren't good to each other, I don't care what color they are; they're a bad match. Sounds like they were a great couple, so she shouldn't even waste tears on idiots. Glad you came along and said something to make her feel better. Often people who say things are ignorant, prejudiced, or even sometimes jealous (esp. since he was very handsome). Keep saying things to make people feel better. IF more people took the high road, this would be a better world to live in and we might even have fewer wards.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
24 Mar 10
That was supposed to be wars, not wards.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61143)
• United States
29 Jan 10
the roomie was in Walmart and some guy came up, put his hand on her shoulder and said "Two words, gastric bypass." She said "I had it last month" and pulled up her shirt to show him her scars... I hope that shuts one of them up!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 10
OMG how frig'n rude! I'd of said a choice word or two for that insult. People are people and that is that KWIM? Sorry your roomie had to deal w/ a jerk.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
ohmy ElicBxn I am so glad she said what she said to this arrogant a@s! How can people justify trying to preach to us who are either overweight or too skinny. they do not know our 'story. I told one woman who was saying did I know fat is not good for you? I said, did you not know that being rude to me could get you a fat lip?" She turned and almost tripped as she ran to her car. I think she really believed I was going to hit her.Of course I was just being rude back. But it did make me laugh.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61143)
• United States
29 Jan 10
good for you! I guess I just don't look as approachable as the roomie, nobody has ever done it to me - and that's funny because she's the big gal - maybe its the gray hair?
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I think people should mind their own business, too, and they should try to look at things from the overweight person's point of view. It could be maybe this person has tried all kinds of diets but just hasn't had any luck with them. This person may have been to all kinds of doctors to help them. You just never know what their situation might be. We're all human, too. We all like to eat. The person making this remark should think that might be him/her someday if not already. I think the reason why people make these remarks is if they are overweight themselves they might be trying to make themselves feel better by putting the other person down. The same is true for skinny people, too. We used to have a store in our local mall that sold t-shirts and I remember one time I saw a t-shirt in there that said "I may be fat but you're ugly. I can lose weight". I thought that was funny, lol! Kathy.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
30 Jan 10
This is very true! Kathy.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I never have been significantly overweight and I always felt sorry for people who were in that shape. However, I would like to tell you about an experience I had one time. I went to sing and play the guitar at one of our local nursing homes one time. When I first got there, one of the nurse's aides came out and I assume she was on break. I don't know for sure. Anyway, she told me I looked like I had gained weight. This upset me something awful because I've always been really conscientous of my weight. I didn't say anything back. I just stood there and looked at her for the longest. She apologized but I was still upset about it. I guess I was just so taken aback. I've forgiven her for it since but I talked to the activity director about it. She (the activity director) thanked me for telling her and I guess it was discussed next time they had a meeting. As I'm sure you already know, the residents and staff are supposed to appreciate the volunteers. Kathy.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 10
yes they are like the volunteers at the library and we really did appreciate them as when we were short handed they pitched in to help me get the books shelved and the other media put back. its just not koshter to make personal remarks like that to a volunteer, lord they do not have to come they come because they want to.
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
24 Mar 10
That's so rude but people won't understand that
• United Arab Emirates
24 Mar 10
Some things are personal but they still poke their
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
24 Mar 10
Noses in what's not their business,it's our life
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 10
hi shayne you are so right as sometimes people are so into telling everyone even if they do not know you what they think you should know or do, and do not even realize that they are being nosy,rude and just plain obnoxious. True it is noneof their business at all, none at all.