would you consider this a conflict of interest

@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
March 25, 2010 12:23pm CST
So I'm looking at the list the school gave me of counselors. This is for my daughter who is suffering from anxiety. And I see the name of the nice marriage counselor lady that we're seeing. And I'm thinking, hm, well I know her, I trust her, interesting. And then it occurs to me, should my daughter be seeing the same person that we are? Is this a conflict of interest or some other possible kind of problem? Your thoughts?
2 people like this
8 responses
• Australia
25 Mar 10
1. You like and have confidence in that counsellor. 2. SHE would know whether or not there would be conflict of interest or potential problems. 3. Would Dearra know she is your counsellor? If so, it could affect HER and make her less free with confidences. 4. Would it be possible for Dearra to meet a couple of them (or at least have information/photo etc) and make her own decision? It is essential that Dearra likes and has confidence in her counsellor. My thoughts would be that a different counsellor would be better - one who could assess Dearra's problems without pre-conceived ideas of what could be having an effect on her. I am sure that any child counsellor would also want to talk with you anyway.
1 person likes this
• Australia
14 Jun 11
Hi Dawn. I miss my friends here but I think the slowness is worse than yuwie ever was. I am keeping well and busy, with not much spare time so I think myLot won't be a priority. I popped in here because I had notification that someone had responded to one of my old discussions. I might try to call back here later this week to catch up with a few friends. No I haven't been back to yuwie but Annie (South Africa) paid them a visit a couple of weeks ago. She wasn't impressed. I don't think I'll bother. Annie has had an operation on her spine and is recovering well but can't do much for a while. My eldest son has moved to New York, working for Bloomberg, so there is a possibility that I might get to America in the near future.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jun 11
Slowness has never been a problem for me, but I know it is for people in other countries. So many people have left too (again). If you make it to NY you will be much closer to Holly than to me, but maybe a nice layover in San Francisco? I popped back onto Yuwie a while back and popped right back off. Have you heard from Doran?
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Mar 10
I can always ask her (Dearra)...
@vandana7 (99214)
• India
31 Mar 10
Hi Dawn, out here family and family friends take on the role of counselors. I know very few who are divorced, and the one I know better didnt see any counsellor. Obviously, the elders have their set ideas, and will not be able to resolve the problem in their old fashioned ways. They tend to look at the monetary angle only. Coming to counseling for your daughter, I feel it is better if she meets this counselor. This is because when you take her to another counselor, the counselor is bound to get some hints on the situation at home, and might ask you to shed some light. You might not be able to clearly explain but the other counselor would know it already, and can therefore, address the problem in the right way. :) I do differ from Hatley on this. But then, I am not the wisest. :)
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Jan 11
Whoops, I missed this response.
@GardenGerty (157996)
• United States
26 Mar 10
I would think that Dearra needs her own counselor, as she has her own problem. Now if, in the long run, if the counsel Dearra sees says she needs to be in family counseling she might be the best choice for all of you.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Mar 10
I think so too, probably...
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
25 Mar 10
I don't think it would be detrimental to you or your daughter at all, she is a professional. But it may be beneficial in a way. The counselor would already have a little background about your daughter's parents and their relationship, that could possibly be helpful. It may seem like a bit of a conflict of interest but nothing awful or negative. Like you said - you know her, like her and trust her and it's nice to be able to say that about someone who your daughter's going to start seeing.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Mar 10
True, it might help. I'm not quite sure why I feel weird about it...
@1anurag1 (3576)
• India
26 Mar 10
i think if she is a counselor she must be related to some psychiatry and i think if you are happy with her then you could atleast take a chance. but i think also that she is not just specialized in marriage problems and also if the school has chosen her for your child then you could take a chance atleast.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Mar 10
I can at least ask her...
@rosegardens (3034)
• United States
26 Mar 10
Most likely the counselor will not accept your daughter as a client since you are seeing her for a different reason. I think that it would be a conflict of interest if she is already seeing you. You can ask her for her recommendations for a good child psychologist. I'm sure she knows one or two.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Mar 10
I could probably bring this list from the school and see if she knows any of them...
@GardenGerty (157996)
• United States
26 Mar 10
I would think that Dearra needs her own counselor, as she has her own problem. Now if, in the long run, if the counsel Dearra sees says she needs to be in family counseling she might be the best choice for all of you.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Mar 10
hi dawnald I dont think so as when the school system when my son was little insisted we see a counselor, psychologist he saw us by ourselves then my son by himself, and he did not feel this was wrong. He did agree' with me that my son did not have adf whatever that the school officals thought that any kid that fidgeted had, and he did not need to be those pills, what he needed was to be moved into a gifted childrens program. once there he really bloomed , he made straight a's andnobody complained about him being hyperactive or anything else. The counselor was just talking to us about my son's school problem, our marriage was fine, thank heaven for that.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Mar 10
I wonder how my brother would have done if he had been put in the gifted program. My parents didn't want to do it because he would have had to be in a different school from the rest of us. He ended up not finishing high school. I think he was bored, wrong friends also...