brother
family
family moving away
living in a different state
long distance
moving away
sibling
siblings
sister
sisters
Going Away
By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4693)
United States
March 28, 2010 6:41pm CST
I've been pretty sad all week. This past Monday, I found out that my sister-in-law got a job in Tennessee. My brother and sister-in-law have been living here in Michigan (only a few miles from where my husband and I live), but now they're moving south. I have five siblings (four sisters, one brother), and my brother and I have always been the closest of any of the siblings. So naturally, I'm very disappointed they're moving. I already have one sister who lives in Alabama and another sister is moving to Connecticut when she and her fiance get married. My parents and in-laws live here in Michigan not too far away so I guess I've been spoiled with having a lot of my family close by. I've been married now for almost nine months so I'm learning that this is just a part of life. Am I being unreasonable by thinking that my brother and his family should stay here? I mean, he's my only brother! (LOL) Maybe I'm being a little selfish. I'm glad my sister-in-law got a new job. Those are difficult to come by nowadays! The economy is a little better in Tennessee also. I just want the best for them, and I thought them staying here was good because I wanted them to always be just down the road so we can hang out. The good things is that my sister-in-law's family lives in Tennessee so at least they will be close to some family. They will also live only five or six hours from my sister in Alabama (compared to the fifteen plus hours away if they were still here in Michigan). I'm trying to look on the bright side that we all still live in the same country, but I'm having a hard time with siblings starting to move away because I always loved having them around. What do you think?
2 people like this
10 responses
@carmenzhj (120)
• New Zealand
29 Mar 10
of course you do want your sisters and brother to be as close to you as possible. Sometimes you don't get to choose where to live or where to go. It depends on the job. Well look at it this way, maybe in the long run it give you excuses to travel around the countries. :) Even your sisters and brother has decided to move to somewhere else, you never know there might be a day they will move back. Don't forget phone is so common now you can use it almost every where.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
20 Aug 11
Yes, you're right. My brother and sister-in-law now living in a different state definitely gives us places to go and an excuse to travel! I wish I could get away more and had more time off work, but we'll get there. My brother and his wife bought a new house about a year ago, and we still haven't been to see it yet. It drives me crazy, but I'm hoping to get down there within the next couple of months if all goes as planned! Thanks for your encouragement - I truly appreciate it!
@yresh12 (3212)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Hi jj..
It would be a great change. You should be happy that your siblings got family of there own and you'll, there will be someone looking out for them. As they are thinking someone is looking out for you.! hekhek
We can't change whats gonna happen but no matter how long or how far you are apart,you will and will always be in each other's heart.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
20 Aug 11
Ah yes, you're right. I really should be happy that they're close to my sister-in-law's family now. My brother loves his new family, too, so that's great. He was normally not the most social, family-type guy when he lived at home or in the area, so at least he loves his wife's family so they'll be able to spend time with everyone. You're right, I'm very happy for them now, but it was just hard seeing them move away at the time. Now I have places to visit when my husband and I go on vacation!
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
29 Mar 10
Here is one way to look a it, at least its not in California. I know exactly how you feel. I like my family close by too. I have two sisters, one lives in Florida and the other in Virginia. I don't like them so far away. I ask them to come back home, but they have lives where they are at. Now me-I'm a homebody, I can't imagine just moving out of state away from my family. I have my son and part of his family next door. My daughter and her family across the street. I love it, although sometimes it can get aggravating, specially if they have family drama going on. My daughter moved across the street a year ago, I was thrilled. Now I don't know how long she will be there. Her hubby has moved out and filed for a divorce. Its a big mess, she doesn't know if she is going to keep the house. I hope she does, its a nice house and she has the best neighbor across the street, hehe.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Wow, your family really is close by - you're lucky! That's so nice. You know, if worse came to worse, maybe your daughter would move in with you? Or would that be bad? I know what you mean about needing your space, but if she needs to be close by and can't afford the house, it could be an option. That's sad she will soon be divorced, but hopefully it's for the best. Anyway, I guess I never thought about all the family drama - and let me tell you, mine has had enough to last us all the rest of our lives and then some! I'd almost rather have the drama to have my brother and sister-in-law near, but they left almost a week ago, so I'm actually starting to get used to it. My sister-in-law had a job when they moved down, and it sounds like my brother might've gotten a job this week so that's great! Good for them. I just have to try to be happy for them also knowing that my husband and my home is here in Michigan where are jobs and families are. I'd say we got the best end of the bargain! My parents live a mile and a half down the road, and his parents are only an hour away - not bad!
@SViswan (12051)
• India
29 Mar 10
I'm not sure if it's good or bad for you. It will give your brother and sister-in-law some time to themself and to grow. I'm sure the situation there is different. In India, arranged marriages are the norm...and the first few years are spent in learning to adjust to each other. Having well-meaning relatives around do result in problems. I had my sister live close by when I was married....I have just one sister. But in retrospect, I wish things were different because she was young...I was newly married and my husband and I were just learning about each other...we had a child pretty soon and we were coping with a lot of things all together. Each one of us expected support and love from each other but no one thought of what the other wanted.
Anyways, it's always nice to have family close by but if their moving away is going to be better for them, be happy for them and wish them luck. Now, you can visit over vacations and that will be nice too:)
And you are right...you will be in the same country. I know how much I miss my parents...they live in another continent and I can't visit them when I want to ...neither can they come and visit whenever they wish.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
3 Apr 10
That definitely makes it tough when you can't just decide to hop in the car and drive to see some of your family, but as long as they are doing ok...that's what I'm learning! It could be worse. An 8- to 10-hour drive really isn't too bad! Thanks for your advice. 
@GardenGerty (157485)
• United States
29 Mar 10
It will allow them some time to work together as a couple, if they are not surrounded by family. She may be missing her family. I have some of the same sadness, as my daughter lives in Minnesota, not in Kansas or Oklahoma with our family and not in Nebraska near my son in law's family. I am lucky if I see her twice a year. On the other hand, he has a good job, they have a comfortable house, their friends are awesome, and their church is a big part of their life. I keep telling myself,"This is the best for them."
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
20 Aug 11
A suppose as a newly married couple, it's great that they could have some time to themselves. They're about an hour from her parents, which is nice for her. I know how I'd feel if I were far from my parents. We live only about two miles from my parents and an hour from my husband's parents. My husband's sister, her husband, and their daughter are all moving an hour away from us (they lived in Florida for several years), so I suppose that's a nice trade, if we had to trade in the first place lol...my brother for my husband's sister. All his family lives within three hours of each other, so that is really great for holidays and things like that. Yes, I suppose you're right about my brother and his new family needing to make a life of their own. That's what I wanted when I got married too.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
28 Mar 10
It will be an adjustment since y'all have always lived near each other. But, with technology these days you can stay in touch at the touch of a computer, sending emails, chatting, sharing pics. My sister and I have not lived in the same town in over 18 years, and until this past summer I was living 1600 miles away from her, we now live in the same state, I moved back last July. The harder part of living away from relatives is living apart from my daughters. My youngest is only an hour's drive away, but my oldest is 1300 miles away in Virginia, I'm in Texas. It is even more difficult now that she is pregnant for the first time, and her hubby is deployed. I brought them up to be strong and independent women and they are, she is dealing with it fine. And I'll be going over there closer to her due date. My sister is 7 hours away, which we are not used to living near each other so it's really no big deal. My daughter's and I stay in touch by phone and posting pics on facebook and myspace. It will get easier in time, just don't loose touch, and it will be a little easier to adjust.
2 people like this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
Hi there, I'm assuming by now you have a new grand baby! Congrats!! Yes, it is definitely hard to live away from family, but I've adjusted as you certainly predicted would happen! It's very interesting because a year ago, my brother and sister-in-law were moving away, but I just found out about a month ago that my husband's sister, husband, and daughter (my niece) are all moving back to Michigan in less than a month! I'm so psyched about that, that I don't even think about some of my family living far away. And after all, it gives us places to visit! I think it all worked out in the end, but it was just hard at the time. Thanks for your response and your encouragement!
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
29 Mar 10
Awwhh such a sweet heart you are! Its a lovely feeling having the family around and we only realise this when they are far apart. We are three siblings. My other two sisters are abroad, happily married with children. Even though they visit once a year I find it extremely difficult to cope with the distance. Parents are in a worse situation. They do not tell this often but we know. The family is growing shorter with most of all other siblings living far and off, life is not the same. But some things in life we have to come with terms with no matter what. Sooner the better. You are not being selfish. Its your fondness and love that's speaking.
Lots and lots of love.
1 person likes this
@craftyhomebody (443)
• United States
29 Mar 10
i think that they our grownin up and making a life for them
and there familys and going to where they can do the best job
at taking care of there familys. yes it is hard when everybody move away
and you our the one that stay's you will also be the one to take
care of mom and dad when they get older. but you need to look on
the bright side you have alot of places to go visit an relax and if
the drive is only 5 or 6 hours away that can lead into a reunion
once a year, fun for all
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
29 Mar 10
I understand how you feel. We are in Michigan too and the last few years have seen us lose many friends to other states because of the current job situation in our state. Last week my neice moved to oregon for a job and next month 2 more nephews will be going, taking my great nephews with them. I hate to see them go, but am grateful they have a chance to take care of their families. With the internets help we will stay in close and daily contact.
These are the times when we have to remember, that loving someone, means we want the best for them, even if it means watching them move on.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Wow, I couldn't have said it better myself! "These are the times when we have to remember, that loving someone, means we want the best for them, even if it means watching them move on." That is it in a nutshell - thanks for your great words of wisdom, my friend! The economy in Michigan is definitely one of the worst in the country, so I'm not surprised so many are moving away. I guess I just didn't expect such close family to go too! I know it's for the best and have to keep telling myself that. I look at it as a good thing with people moving out of state because at least it's fewer cars on the road! We live 20 miles north of Detroit, and the traffic is so congested at times that I don't even know how I deal with it! My poor hubby drives in it for a living so he must be about ready to go insane. LOL! Thanks again for your kind words, friend.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
2 Apr 10
Hi, i understand how you feel. Well distance can always bond a strong relation, you can stay apart and your presence will be always felt in your siblings and your heart for ever. So dont worry friend!
1 person likes this
