Rehearsing

@dawnald (84069)
Shingle Springs, California
April 4, 2010 7:23pm CST
When you are getting ready for an important discussion with somebody, do you rehearse it all ahead of time in your head? Or do you just have the discussion? And what do you do when the other person totally sidetracks you from where you wanted to go with the discussion?
5 people like this
27 responses
@vandana7 (72960)
• India
5 Apr 10
Hi Dawn, I am not very organized in my thinking. Even if I am, it is easy for others to steer the conversation to their desired outcomes. :( But of late, i.e., about 4 years or so, some strange energy seems to have entered into me, I tend to stand firm, and insist on what I want. I come out with my reasoning, which has mostly been irrefutable, but I was afraid to mention as I was afraid it would hurt my papa. May be I dont care anymore. :( I have now decided I deserve some happiness, and security. I still feel selfish but somethings cant be helped. I have a meeting this evening - 6 pm. I am preparing papers for that. But before that around 11 am, I have another meeting. Hope things go on well. :)
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
5 Apr 10
Good luck Vandana! May God be with you and guide you and see all thing s go well for you.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (72960)
• India
5 Apr 10
Thanks kala. The morning meeting went on smoothly. I will leave for the evening one in another half an hour. I am crossing my fingers that nothing goes wrong here. Generally it doesnt. :)
2 people like this
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
5 Apr 10
You must have left by now.Hope evrything went on well.
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Apr 10
I usually take notes, write it out first and take them with me to the discussion to keep it on track. I will say that is not the subject matter and attempt to get it back on track and tell them I will abandon the convo if they won't stay on point.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
I have never done that. I usually just let them bla bla bla. Which can be really frustrating.
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Apr 10
I've written letters before and just given it to them. Then, I got to say everything I wanted to say and can refer back to it at any time if they stray from the point. Sometimes it works best if you walk away after handing it to them. Sometimes it works better if you watch them while they read it, so you know they actually read it.
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
I do that sometimes, but in e-mail...
@GardenGerty (116659)
• United States
5 Apr 10
I do rehearse, I do make notes, and then, if I am waiting a day or two while doing this note taking and rehearsing, I usually dream about it as well. In the dream I am always side tracked. Other important conversations just impulsively escape from my lips when I do not even realize that it is happening.Sometimes that is good as then I get it said, and they do not have time to sidetrack me.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
I don't think I'm going to get sidetracked actually (except maybe by myself) just talked around...
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
Hey dawn! When I really need to explain something,I like to think about what I say. I don't like to say something that he/she might misinterpret.
2 people like this
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
5 Apr 10
THat is a good strategy yresh12.People alwys choose to misinterpret and this is one way we keep our focus.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (85988)
• India
5 Apr 10
I do rehearse and that too in front of a mirror, so that I know my facial expressions too. Whenever I give talks I prefer it without referring to notes and for that it is necessary that I prepare thoroughly.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
I do that with presentations. This is more of a personal talk...
@kprofgames (3099)
• United States
5 Apr 10
For a serious discussion I do. I feel I have to so I'm getting my point across. There are times that something takes a turn, but have a lot of proactice in bringing back around to the point.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
Sometimes I can get it back on point, just depends on the other person and how strongly I feel about what I'm saying.
1 person likes this
@hofferp (4737)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Yes, I rehearse, but the conversation NEVER seems to go the way I rehearsed it. We usually end up somewhere else. Sometimes, I can finally get back on track and get said what I want said, but sometimes, it takes another time and place.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
yup me too
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 10
Hey, D! I probably should rehearse, but I don't. Then the horrible "I should have said" thing comes up when it's over. I can be sidetracked, but rarely. I bring things back to the point at hand, usually by suggesting that we get to the side issue later...
2 people like this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
Sometimes I can get sidetracked, just depends...
• United States
5 Apr 10
I used to but now I don't I was painfully shy so I Nede to rehears what i was about to say. Now I just say it the way I feel it shoud be said and listen to the response.I am less shy and now I know thee isn't just One perfect way to say things.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
I still need to sometimes. Otherwise it can be too many things and I'll forget some of them...
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 10
Oh That's different. I will Always make little notes so I can remember what to say and to whom.
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
5 Apr 10
No I would not rehearse it but wait for the appropriate time to have the discussion. If the person kept sidetracking then I would tell them so. I would not know what else to do. I would feel so helpless.............
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
There's my problem, waiting for the right moment. There is no right moment. THEN I get sidetracked...
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
5 Apr 10
Have you thought of writing it all down in a letter form? That may help..... ?
@Hatley (164226)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 10
hi dawnald I have done it both ways but usually I will rehearse it ahead of time in my head, then will usually not always goof up anyway. I do this a lot of times with other nurse when I need to make a doctor's appointment or find out why my perscription was still not filled. I want to cooperate with her but at the same time I do not want to fluffed off either.Several times she has cut me off at the pass so to speak so I have to wait and ultimately it does get done, I just do get a bit impatient as I feel they are a tad nonchalant about getting our prescriptions filled as soon as they could. I can imagine your discussion was a lot more serious than mine though dawn.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
I make a list when I go to the doc's so I won't get cut off....
@Hatley (164226)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 10
hi thats the best way as they never give you much time so so many times I forget something I should have asked. my friend Nelda bought me a small note book just so I could write notes to ask my doctor so guess I had better use it.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25050)
• Australia
12 Apr 10
You can rehearse all you want but it only works if the other person responds exactly how you imagined they would and they never do (doh!), rehearsing is a waste of time. You should write down salient points and make sure you cover them. Remember too that a discussion is a two way thing and you want some feedback every now and then...so say what you want to say but remember that you have to listen too. I'm way too late for this one, eh?
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Apr 10
Nope, they never do. lol Never too late. :-)
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (6703)
• Philippines
7 Apr 10
There are times when I do rehearse things on my head before the actual conversation or discussion, specially when I'm pretty upset and decided to put a stop to everything. When they try to sidetrack me I'll tell the to shut up first and listen then if it's his/her turn I'll listen. Most of the times it doesn't end good
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Apr 10
or when there are points I really need to make... No, often doesn't end well. People refuse to cooperate with my agenda. lol
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
7 Apr 10
If it’s an important phone conversation I’ve gone as far as writing out a ‘script’ that I have read from without the other party knowing it. When it’s a face to face meeting I do rehearse it and I will write myself notes with the points I want to cover with that person because I have been in the situation where I’ve walked away and remembered something I should have said or asked and I’ve wanted to kick myself! I only have a need for a practice run with certain people and situations, if it involves a close friend or family member I can usually tackle it without rehearsal!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Apr 10
this does involve a family member lol
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
7 Apr 10
Happens to me all the time.. but yeah sometimes I do think about what I want to say..or ask..and it does get sidetracked into a totally opposite direction that sometimes takes awhile to get back to what I was wanting to talk about..It is good to rehearsh sometimes or go over in your heard what to talk about so their won't be any long pauses/silent breaks in discussion..
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Apr 10
I could bring a big stick just in case...
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
6 Apr 10
I would generally keep in mind an ultimate goal for the discussion. And then I would just have it. If I don't, I'll just drive myself crazy, trying to come up with counter arguments. I'll try to remember my points during the discussion, so I won't get sidetracked. If concessions have to be made, I'll make sure that my wants and needs are also given importance.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Apr 10
I try to come up with counter arguments too.
@neildc (17251)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Apr 10
i would if i think the discussion will be a good one. but most of the time, i really should. if the discussion will be done here on mylot, i probably should since we are using the language we all know but is not easy for us, who are not natural english talking people. sidetracked by other people, we will cross the bridge when we get there.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Apr 10
I'm thinking more of an important conversation!
• Indonesia
5 Apr 10
I just set up the big ideas or outline what I I think and what would I do in mylot. Looking for ideas of interest the discussion posting a lot of people? and prepare themselves to others by posting comment on specific targets.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Apr 10
On myLot - not a bad idea.
@katsmeow1213 (28910)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Yes I do rehearse discussions.. sometimes even insignificant ones. They rarely go the way I expect them to. Either the other person doesn't ask the questions I expect them to ask, or they don't respond the way I expected... or they sidetrack me. When that happens I tend to give up and try again a different time.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
Funny how other people are never on the same wavelength!
@zandi458 (27948)
• Malaysia
5 Apr 10
It depends on what kind of discussion, how deep is the topic otherwise I'll just approach the discussion with an open mind and talk spontaneously without a prepared script. The more I rehearse, the more I become jittery.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Apr 10
It's the other way around with me...