The neighbor is not very nice

@suspenseful (40199)
Canada
April 10, 2010 8:44pm CST
My husband is disabled and can get around only in a motorized wheelchair and often because his hands do not work that well, he needs a van. We have a sign in front of our house (that has a ramp - very obvious to the people across the street that he cannot go on the lawn. There is plenty of parking space on either side of the sidewalk even when the van is there to pick him up, but the neighbor across the street parks her car so that the van cannot even get in front of the sidewalk. In fact, we had to park on the road itself when we came home from Church twice last Sunday. Today the neighbor had her car parked just on the right side of the sidewalk (from my view looking out the front room window), and a "courtesy" car behind it so that the whole sidewalk was blocked. If my husband had to go somewhere (lucky it was Saturday) he could not. And at supper time, our friend who helps us came over and there was this orange car probably a relative or family member of the neighbor across the street that was parked right in front of our sidewalk. We do have a sign, but it was knocked down. Our friend says it was put in when the ground was frozen and only could go in so far, but I am sure it had a little help at being knocked down. It is essentially a no parking sign for anyone except the owners of that property (yes, us) Our friend knows the Towing Company and he is going to get another sign and also fix the sign so that the neighbor across the street knows that they are not supposed to park there. Why even when our sons come to visit, they do not block the sidewalk. So do you think the neighbor is just an unmitigated selfish creep, a Darwinist who believes in Survival of the Fittest? Or what kind of person would be like that? Would you be as angry as I am if this happened to you?
13 people like this
29 responses
@eileenleyva (27765)
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
You are actually kind in telling your story objectively. I sympathize with you and your husband. The inconvenience could really get nerve wracking. But neighbors Grrrr! are really nuts. They look at you and would wish you troubles GRRR! But let it pass. Find a gentle way of sending them message about your predicament. If they make way, well and good. If they don't, pray the law of karma befalls on them. God hears the truth. Then wait. Your prayers will be granted. Believe me, ha ha!
4 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
28 May 10
We did have the city come up and put out a sign telling them that no one is to park there. That stopped him. Anyway the neighbor is right across the street from us and I do not see him or her walk around with a cane or a seeing eye dog. So they are well aware and so are their family when they come to visit. But I guess they needed a sign.
@GardenGerty (147369)
• United States
11 Apr 10
It is really nice of your friend to help you with this. I think many people do not think or even pay any attention to the inconvenience of their neighbors, until it costs them some money or some embarrassment.
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
12 Apr 10
That is so true. We have people who drive in and park in the handicapped spots when they are not handicapped or are going to pick up a handicapped person because the van had to have some gas while the handicapped person was shopping in the store. i have noticed that there are also places that we cannot go - our friend's houses because there are too many steps and if there are a couple of steps they have to get a plank large enough for the wheelchair to go over. So once they realize that they cannot go and visit their friends, they will realize how hard it is for someone in a power wheelchair.
@laglen (19771)
• United States
11 Apr 10
I vote for inconsiderate and self absorbed. Have you ever talked to them and explain? I know you said you have the sign and iy should be obvious. But sometimes if you call them to the mat, I would be very polite (I know that at this point that will be hard) and point out the new sign and ask them nicely if they wouldnt mind keeping the side cleared that you need. It might work. Good luck!
3 people like this
@laglen (19771)
• United States
22 Jun 10
well at least you have the sign up....
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
26 Jun 10
And people who cannot read.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
21 Jun 10
Our friends explained and they listened, but both my friends are taller then I am and so she would not stand a chance. I am also likely to blow up and so it is easier for someone else to talk to them. anyway we now have the sign in the front yard, but we have to have the tree trimmed as the branches are hiding part of the sign and that cannot be done until Fall.
1 person likes this
• India
11 Apr 10
He's such a mad goose! Doesn't have common sense and not even some basic manners. He's not fit to be your neighbor! Just talk to them, if possible. Put a big signboard too. There are such people in this world who don't care for others and just think of their own comfort; Who doesn't have any humanity at all. Such selfish stupids must be taught some lessons!
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
13 Apr 10
It is a she. She is such a snob. Our friend went to talk to her to tell her that her car was parked in front of our sidewalk a week ago, and the neighbor denied it was her car. Well it was either her car or that of one of her children. Anyway we have the sign fixed so no one can park to block the sidewalk unless it is the van to pick us up to go out.
@bird123 (10548)
• United States
11 Apr 10
Bake a cake. Bring it over to your neighbor.Give them the cake and ask for their help. Tell them there are strange cars blocking your husbands van from time to time.Ask him if he could keep an eye out for you.Tell him your husband is badly crippled and if he has to get out, he can't. Get his phone number so he can help your husband if he needs it.End with appreciation, gratitude, love and kindness.
3 people like this
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
I like your way of thinking. Nice idea, instead of getting piss you were able to turn the scenario in a positive way. However, sometimes you can't think of this if you are covered with anger. How I wish I could be you, I like the way you deal with this problem. I bet you are a happy person, full of positivity in life. =) keep it up.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
15 Apr 10
The neighbor is not the type you bake a cake for. I am more inclined to have the tow truck handy. Besides my friends talked nice to her and she would not listen. I am also a person who believes that not everyone is nice and pleasant. We had another neighbro like that we lived in Saskatchewan and no matter how nice one was, he was always nasty.
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
11 Apr 10
Wow! I like it! But I'd still keep that tow truck number handy; some twits never learn, you know.... Maggiepie YOUR TOPIC DOESN'T HAVE A HOME? TRY THE "OPEN MIKE" CATEGORY! DISCUSS ANY & EVERYTHING--2 TOPICS OR MORE AT ONCE!
1 person likes this
@xasasa (323)
• United States
11 Apr 10
I think the neighbor is just being selfish. Although you may want to talk to them to make sure that they understand why they cannot park in that spot. At least you have a friend that I help you get the no parking sign set up.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
15 Apr 10
She probably is and she is also a bit of a snob. Now I could easily say that my maternal great great grandfather had a special contract from the Queen of England at that time, but I would not. The whole point is that we want the sidewalk in front of our house cleared for the van and if we are going nowhere for the home care workers. And if some park in front of a place with a ramp, they are in a sense saying "we do not care about the disabled and if he or she has to go somewhere, they have to knock on our door and ask us - so we decide their fate."
@Polly1 (12646)
• United States
11 Apr 10
the neighbor sounds like a selfish nincompoop. Good luck on getting the sign put back up right. Some people are just rude and inconsiderate.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
13 Apr 10
The sign has been fixed. Our friend told us that if the sign does not keep the neighbor from parking in front, he is going to call the Towing Company and have them put one of their signs there. He knows the owner.
@mr_pearl (5019)
• India
11 Apr 10
Of course, I would be angry like anything... But being angry wouldn't solve the matter, right? So I would do that next thing.. I would simply call her up and tell her that what she is doing isn't legal and good; it is annoying. If she didn't act properly after that, then I would simply inform the cops or whoever can take care of the matter... I am really sorry that you have got such a neighbor... Moreover, it has nothing to do with Darwinism. We are all humans. Darwin was all about different animals and the competition among them for survival... Well, I think you should talk to your neighbor first.. and if it doesn't get good, then you should call for help... That is what I think, at least...
@mr_pearl (5019)
• India
17 Jul 10
I am glad that you don't have any problem anymore... Your neighbor seems as if someone who believes he/she is the best and should be treated likewise... Such people can listen to only authorities... So if there is trouble again, call for help... :) Take care...
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
16 Sep 10
I really should do that, but I do not like to make trouble with anyone. Same here with mylot, there was a problem between a couple of members attacking another one verbally and calling him names. I should have written to myLot right away, but did not. Seems for some reason, I do not want to make things worse then they should. Anyway we got it straightened out. I think also she has teenagers and they may have borrowed her car and parked in our spot, but I did not look. Anyway they have bad luck with cars, they are always borrowing one from the repair shop.
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
5 Jul 10
Well I did not go out. I have to stay and look after my husband. He cannot be left alone because of his als (might suddenly stop breathing, gets panicky,etc.(So our friend went over and talked to them. I guess they did not listen, so he got a sign from the city, fixed it up, they listened but only between the hours of 8am and 7 pm which was the times that most city says that parking is limited. So our friend who knows a two truck company called the city again and they put in a fresh sign with no parking at all. (Unless of course you happen to be a disabled wheelchair vehicle( and now we have no problem.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Apr 10
You have a real nasty neighbor there....They have no concern for you or your husband...So if i were you i would take every means of getting the neighbor to obey some neighboerly rules...I would make it my business to call, write or do whatever was in my power to make my neighbor stop acting this way..My friend had a neighbor that was like that and he tormented her and almost caused her to have a nervous break down...Finally she barracaded her drive way with the uglyist crap she could find, and also called the fire department & city control, to make him stop....He was an evil neighbor who was spiteful and hated everyone who did not do as he said..Finally he got so angry he ended up shooting & killing the neighbor across the street from him...People like this , you cannot talk to or reason with, they KNOW what they are doing , so my advice to you would use all legal means possible....You might could even call protective custody and when they come out & see he is in danger if her car is there, maybe they would take action..Good luck...
@carmelanirel (20948)
• United States
11 Apr 10
I'd be angry all right, but I have a question, did you tell this neighbor you need that space opened and the reason for it? Though you posted signs, some people just don't understand until you actually speak with them. If you had, then she isn't being nice and I wonder if maybe because you need it open if it is even legal. I think the first time she gets her car towed, she'll get the idea..
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
4 Jul 10
Well they did see the men come in and put the ramp in and so it was obvious that there was someone there who was in a wheelchair. And they knew that I could walk. They also have seen my husband getting weaker and weaker, and going from the cane to the walker and then to the wheelchair. Why the neighbor across the lane on the other side knew and we did not have to tell her. Anyway our friend had a good talking to her. So now there is no problem.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Jul 10
That's good, I'm glad the problem got solved..
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
16 Sep 10
Same here.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
11 Apr 10
I became very upset just reading about what your neighbor is doing! However, the best way to know whether or not they understand (even though you've made it plenty clear with signs and such) is to go over and talk to them. I can't imagine they are that unobservant not to know your husband is disabled, but perhaps they're overlooking something. I'm not defending what they're doing in any way, but maybe they just need to be sat down and have this all explained to them. Clearly they're not allowed to be doing what they're doing. Have you ever talked to them about the situation? If you discuss it with them, and they still don't comply, I would say that you should get the authorities involved. What if you're not home, and your husband has an emergency where he needs to use the van? It would be their fault if something happens to him because the van is blocked in or he can't get to it. I just hate it when people are rude and inconsiderate. It seems as though your neighbors may understand what's going on but see it as an inconvenience to park somewhere else. Is yours a small street? Have they been your neighbors for very long? I guess without knowing all the details, I can't say for sure, but I would say your best bet is probably to discuss it directly with your neighbors first and then go from there. Your husband obviously needs all these things, so I think then that it would be your neighbors who are being unreasonable. I hope this situation works itself out, my friend.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
5 Jul 10
It is sort of hard to explain to people as if they are little kids. We have had our friends go over and tell them to move their car because my husband has to go, and it was not until the sign was put up that they knew that the area was to be free 24 hours a day and not just for the few hours my husband had to go someplace. They were in the neighborhood before we moved in. But we have not had much contact with them. Most of our contact has been with the neighbor on the other side of the lane. And they will, the bad neighbors, do anything unless there is some authority behind it. For instance, our friend asked for a no parking city sign, so the city gave one with a limited time and even though he crossed out the limiting part, the neighbor still parked at those times. So our friend got the city to put a no parking 24 hours a day, they came out with the city truck and now we have no problem. so talking and explaining to them would have not done it. I guess we had to get the city to put up the sign.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
18 Jul 10
You're welcome. I try to be nice to people even though I have a bit of a temper and fly off the handle, but when I was young I was taught you had to be nice to older people, and to those who were crippled, or were slow. I guess someone with a ramp in front qualifies for that - not the slow part, but I did work at a place for the mentally slow for a little while and it was quite sad as some of them were there because their mothers caught German Measles. Back to the subject - rambling. The city did put up the sign and it does work a little. The neighbor does try to park a little further over, but when the street is crowded and everyone is visiting everyone, then there is a bit of a problem.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I'm glad to learn that the whole situation worked out eventually. However, it's really sad that just talking to your neighbors wouldn't do it. I can't stand it when people aren't considerate, but I also have to take the time to make sure I'm being considerate of others. This discussion is definitely a great reminder that a little courtesy goes a long way! Thanks for the explanation. Again, I'm so glad everything worked out eventually.
@dragon54u (31619)
• United States
11 Apr 10
I would be angry, yes. But don't let it get the best of you. How old is your neighbor? Younger people are focused only on themselves and it's the rare one that actually thinks about the consequences of their actions. They may not realize what inconvenience and danger their parking habits can cause. If I were you, I would have a friendly talk with them and explain that you need that area clear in case of emergency and if your husband needs to go somewhere or get into the house when you return from somewhere. If that doesn't work, call your city's zoning department and file a complaint. But do talk with them first.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
12 Apr 10
We are about the same age. She has adult children and my friend did talk to the neighbor but she, the neighbor is such a snob that she thinks that she is so important and so high classed. The trouble is that we got the wrong sign. And even if it said between nine and six on weekdays, surely seeing that we have a ramp would mean that at any time my husband might have to go to the hospital or there would be an emergency, that the sidewalk in front of our house would have to be accessible. And what about Saturday? Our friends who keep the van at their place might have wanted us to go shopping with them or go to the restaurant for a cup of coffee or we could have gone to the Mall and since our other friends are usually busy to come over and look at my husband so I could go to the Mall or take a walk - you see, stuck. So in reality, the sidewalk should be clear all the time.
@Hatley (163978)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Apr 10
I think perhaps the neighbor is some darwinian experiment gone astray and made into a jerk of the first water. I would be just as furious as you are. we once had a neighbor like that that kept parking in front of our driveway so we could not back our own car out just because she either had a lot of live in relatives or company that filled up all her parking spaces.we finally had to call the police who asked her very kindly to move her car and park it on their side of the street.And we were not dealing with the problems that you and your hubby face either. so were I in your situation I would be indeed angry.Can you get a tow away zone sign, as then you could just call the police, after all there must be some provisions that can be made for a person who is disabled like your husband.
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
13 Apr 10
I would think it is common courtesy that if there is a ramp in front of the place, even if there is no sign there, that the place has to be cleared. We finally got the sign fixed but if she does not listen- the neighbor that is, our friends have connections with a towing company and they will get a sign that if any car is blocking the sidewalk , they will be towed. Why even our sons will not park in front of the sidewalk as they know at any time my husband might have to go to the Als center. He did have to go to the hospital in a moment's notice to get his tube put in. I wonder of kaspera, if you could get the staff to set out a parking spots for the staff and with a sign "for staff use only, others will be towed away." That might help.
• United States
12 Apr 10
I work in group homes for the developmentally disabled. I once went to a group home, and had absolutely nowhere to park. I had to park in front of the neighbor's house. I was not blocking their driveway, and I knew I could not block the group home's driveway, so I parked in front of the house. Anyway, the neighbor of the group home called the police. They saw two huge vans in the driveway, plus another staff van, a staff truck, and another staff car. I had nowhere to park. Luckily, my manager explained this to the police,as I was out of cell phone range and radio range for our vans. Everything ended up alright, but I was very irritated with this neighbor because my car was not blocking anything. It was just in front of their house.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29122)
• United States
11 Apr 10
Hi, suspenseful. Yes, your neighbors know exactly what they are doing. They know that they should not park in that spot where it is prohibited to. Put another sign up so that if they decide to knock it down again, their car will be towed. They must respect that fact that your husband is disabled. They should only park their car in their space near their house. Some people are just mean and nasty. They don't care about others but themselves and it is a crying shame.. I hope that they will respect you all. They should feel bad to ever treat someone whom is disabled badly.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
5 Jul 10
There is only parking on our side of the street. But these neighbors have a large garage and most everyone here has garages at back and besides there is plenty of space between our houses so that all they need to do is more their car up just a bit. It is not like it was at our older son;'s condo before he bought his house, no room fro anything. So the neighbors had no excuse. We now have a sign up saying no parking, but we would not have had to do it if the neighbors had the sense to look out their front door.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
18 Jul 10
You're welcome. We hate going through all this trouble. I am the person when someone tells me that they want me to do something, I will try to do it. But this neighbor we had to go again and again and me, I hate asking people to do something that should have been done in the first place.
@cream97 (29122)
• United States
11 Jul 10
It is such a shame that you have to go through so many channels just to make a situation more easier. Your neighbors should be ashamed of themselves. Thanks for the BR!
2 people like this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
11 Apr 10
Ah, Suspense, you know how it is with some people: the world revolves around them. I say keep the tow truck number handy after you replace the sign. Maggiepie YOUR TOPIC DOESN'T HAVE A HOME? TRY THE "OPEN MIKE" CATEGORY! DISCUSS ANY & EVERYTHING--2 TOPICS OR MORE AT ONCE!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
26 Jun 10
I think they are the type who maybe want people in wheelchairs to move to a nursing home. in that case, evil.
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
29 May 10
Then they're just plain old garden variety evil. Maggiepie "It is the absolute right of the state to supervise the formation of public opinion." ~ Joseph Goebbels, infamous Nazi
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
28 May 10
We did get the sign put in by the city. That stopped them, and we do have the tow truck number. I do think that they seem to think once one is in a wheelchair, one stays in the house all day and does not get out. And they do see the van there when we have to go shopping, and I am sure that the guy there can estimate how much room one needs to park.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
11 Apr 10
Yes, I would be angry, too. I don't blame you. This is very disrespectful and inconsiderate of your neighbors. Have you tried talking to them about this? That's what I would do. If that doesn't work, the only thing I would know to do is talk to the police. Since your husband is disabled, he needs this space so he can get in the van. Kathy.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
16 Jul 10
The trouble is that total strangers park giving us enough room for the van and even our sons who live in the other part of the city, park to give us enough room, the guys who puts my husband to bed does the same, as do the ladies who get my husband dressed in the am (by the way it is one lady in the am, one guy in the even. They all do not come at once( does the same. Except for our sons, these are people who are not really friends =- acquaintances and who we only see at specific times. So if total strangers and acquaintances can obey the rules, why not her?
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
26 Jun 10
Our friends talked to her. And he also got a sign from the city and put it up, but that did not do much good until the city itself put the sign back up when it fell down. So the neighbor considers that we are not that important to take notice of.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
27 Jun 10
This is such a shame!
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15611)
• Puerto Rico
11 Apr 10
Yes I would be just as upset as you are. These people are so inconsiderate and rude. They must be young because I can't see an older person not being considerate. Maybe one of your sons need to go across the street and speak to them about the situation. Maybe they don't notice the sign. I know if I was in this situation I would take myself right over there and tell them that they can't park in front of my house.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
5 Jul 10
They are a little younger then us and have children in their twenties so they should not. I just hope it is not because they assume all handicapped vehicles open from the back end or that if you are in a wheelchair what are you doing still living in a house? Our sons live in another part of the city and both of them work and have families. Our friend lives just a block the other way and he had a talk with them. Also the city put up a better sign. I am not good at correcting people.
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7199)
• India
11 Apr 10
Suspenseful, your neighbours are some really careless people, it would make anyone angry, they don't understand, they need a lesson! They are only doing things they find convenient for themselves. Such neighbourhood is a headache. Some people!
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
22 Jun 10
I agree with you. They can see the ramp in front of the house and know that with the cost of improvements, we would not put in a ramp unless we needed it. And the only vehicles my husband could drive in would be the wheelchair vans so they have to park so the ramp comes out on our sidewalk.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
They are so inconsiderate. maybe can't read at all. lol. there are a lot of people out there who just doesn't give a thought about anything but their own. if it was me, i'd be walking across the street and remind them of their wrong doing.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
5 Jul 10
Our friend did it. I am not good at talking and scolding people (Unless they are little kids) So now we have the sign in front and there is no bother from them.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Apr 10
I'm very much angry with this person. I'm also baffled of what this person has done. As for me I'm Christian and one of the gretest rules He taught us was " to be a good neighbor." This person is not just selfish but rude. But it is best to stay calm, and control your anger as much as you can. If this person can't look at the sign I bet karma will get the person. I see this person as a lot of us should one greedy person. I may be as angry as you but you seem enraged at this person. -Rezz
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40199)
• Canada
5 Jul 10
I guess there are less Christians nowadays. Anyway we had to get a sign put up twice, and our friend went to talk to the neighbors plus their kids a couple of times. But really they did see the ramp in front of our house, and could see that my husband no longer drove a car so they knew that something was up.
1 person likes this