I gotta crow
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
May 6, 2010 11:42am CST
Dearra's had so much trouble with anxiety this year, and it all seems to center around school and having to do presentations. It got so bad that she was on her way to getting an ulcer, and we've had her on stomach meds for a while now. They didn't help at all the week she went back to school though, and she had to do a presentation. So, clearly, it's not just the stomach, and so we got her into counseling. She's been learning breathing exercises, among other things.
Well she neglected to mention to me that she had a presentation this week in history class. She told her dad though, and so he had her practice it a few times in front of him and he gave her some pointers. Yesterday she went to school and the nerves were coming and going. She was afraid she might need to go to the nurse, but she managed to calm it down. Then in class, she almost talked to the teacher, but then she decided there wasn't time for her to do hers. And then, suddenly, it was her turn and so she just got up and did it. She did it very well, apparently, and got lots of compliments from the teacher and her friends!
Hooray, Dearra. Hopefully this will be a first step toward overcoming her nerves! 
8 people like this
28 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
6 May 10
Brava Dearra! I was exactly the same in school. I would get upset staring in Late Augst and I wouldn't calm down until Thanksgiving. Thankfully I had only to do about three Presentations in my school career. but what is weird is I never got that nervous when I had to play a violin solo? Weird.nyway tell Dearra Aunt Sarah is so proud of her.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157555)
• United States
6 May 10
They are doing everything earlier and earlier in their school careers. My kids did some in middle school and even more in High School. I have seen even second and third graders doing presentations with note cards and the whole thing. I had to help some special needs kids. It is enough to make some kids really anxious.
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
7 May 10
If I had to do a presentation when I was in 2nd Grade I would have dropped out.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
7 May 10
I feel for Dearra because I went through a similar anxiety during my working life when I was employed in a bank. I hated the job and the fact that it included public speaking and presentations etc did not help! I used to stress out so much about it. My husband is going through a similar thing with his job; he is quite reserved like me and he is required to talk publicly at a lot of conferences at his job at it stresses him out too. It’s great that your daughter is being taught coping techniques at a young age, they will come in very hand right through life, I think. I don’t believe we are all meant to be public speakers and that is okay and seeing that it is unavoidable learning how to deal with the anxiety is really beneficial. Glad to hear she did well!
2 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 May 10
Heck, I think they started her off with the presentations in kindergarten. And she was nervous but OK until this year. Hopefully this will put her back on track. I don't think she'll ever be totally comfortable with them, but if she can just DO them, that would be great...
2 people like this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
7 May 10
She must have been so great!
I usually get those stomach cramps too, butterflies that feel like bats instead of butterflies!
Whenever there was an upcoming major exam, I also get indigestion which is really very stressful for me. One time, I had to go in and out of the room that the teacher suspected me of cheating.
I wish I never had to go through those physical symptoms ever., They're annoying and embarrassing.
I usually get those stomach cramps too, butterflies that feel like bats instead of butterflies!
Whenever there was an upcoming major exam, I also get indigestion which is really very stressful for me. One time, I had to go in and out of the room that the teacher suspected me of cheating.
I wish I never had to go through those physical symptoms ever., They're annoying and embarrassing.2 people like this
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
7 May 10
Oh Dawn that is great news and update. I can only imagine what you all must go through. I had two coworkers who would mention, from time to time about their troubles with anxiety and would often talk about some pill they need. One wrecked her car twice in a month.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 May 10
We've got her in counseling, and I very much hope that it won't ever come to needing to put her on medication.
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
7 May 10
Sounds like that is working eh? I wonder if any asian method of meditation would be help to your daughter or even any patient who suffers from anxiety? I have known professionals in martial arts who have trained themselves to control their mind to the point of heart rate control, pain control, even prevent bleeding from their bodies. Many started at early ages in their lives, maybe is worth looking into?
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
6 May 10
I'm so glad Dearra "did the biz" as we say over here. Well done Dearra, we love you!
How old is she?
By the way, as regards my treadmill results (I felt like Dearra did when I'd finished on that lol) I am awaiting a letter from the hospital via my doctors' surgery as my notes couldn't be discussed over the 'phone.
Fair enough!
How old is she?
By the way, as regards my treadmill results (I felt like Dearra did when I'd finished on that lol) I am awaiting a letter from the hospital via my doctors' surgery as my notes couldn't be discussed over the 'phone.
Fair enough!2 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 May 10
She's 13...
Here they would discuss it over the phone, but they'd verify your identity up one side and down the other. Actually they'd have you make an appointment before they'd send a letter.
@GardenGerty (157555)
• United States
6 May 10
I am hoping she is able to build on this success and go on to be a fantastic presenter. It seems she has the support of you and Richard both, and that is what she needs no matter whether you are together or apart. School is winding down. Yay!!
2 people like this
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
7 May 10
Great news Dawn and top marks for her dad. When I first started presenting workshops I practiced the first couple in front of a mirror.
Let's hope that one victory will boost her confidence for the next one.
2 people like this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
6 May 10
This type of nerves is so common, Dearra just seems to have a worse case than others. I still will throw up prior to going into a situation where I am insecure.
The first college class I had to teach was given in a large room with a stage, I had to speak from the stage to a class of about 40. Well after I got through in the restroom, I looked in the mirror and gave myself a pep talk. After all I knew much more about the subject then my students did and they had come to listen to me for three hours so I just needed to treat them the way I would want to be treated.
So that is what I did, instead of speaking for all that time I started out first sitting on the edge of the stage and then asking questions of the students. It worked out well and by the next class I was much more comfortable and able to skip the restroom stop. Of course I did have more freedom then Dearra had for her presentation but it seems to me she could learn to treat the situation as though she was having to listen and then tell herself the presentation in a mirror several times for practise.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 May 10
We're trying several different things. Hopefully they're helping...
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
6 May 10
Say, that's great! Good job, Dearra! Since it's the end of the year, is it that she's not as nervous because she's been through it a couple times already? It does take practice to find out what "formula" does the trick to work out those nerves - and it's different for everyone. I had to go through it in skating (I know, everything relates to skating) . . . but I also had to go through it with piano during piano recitals, having to go through a mandatory speech contest every year for my language school, among the various "presentations" for school. I actually took a speech class in college - on how to give presentations - and from then on I actually liked giving presentations (but unfortunately never had the opportunity to give any public speeches anywhere . . . though it helped me be more confident in speaking to a group of people). Anyway, good for Dearra . . . it's a BIG step towards overcoming her nerves!!
2 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 May 10
Could be that it was history, not Spanish, or that the counseling is helping, or that her dad had her practice. Whatever, I'm glad she got through it AND got some praise for it. :-)
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
6 May 10
Hurrah for Dearra, I hope it is indeed the first step to overcoming her nerves.
I know exactly how she felt. I do know that having done the first she will
already feel better and more confident.
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 May 10
Congratulations, Dearra!! It's so nice to hear such incidents where kids come out stronger:)
I'm touched and I hope this continues and Dearra continues to shine at school...and I can see she has got supportive parents who are helping her out in this aspect :)
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 May 10
I don't even remember having to do them at her age!
@olydove (1209)
• United States
9 May 10
That's so awesome Dawn. I'm truly happy for Dearra that she was able to overcome her anxiety with your help and good thinking of course. You and your husband took the right steps and helped her through. Good job for you two parents as well Cpmgratulations
Excellent news for sure please pass on my congrats to Dearra also it takes a whole lot to overcome any anxiety.
Excellent news for sure please pass on my congrats to Dearra also it takes a whole lot to overcome any anxiety. 1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 May 10
We're not totally there yet, but it's a huge first step!
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
7 May 10
Way to go Dearra! I am so glad to hear that not only did she have the courage to get up and do the presentation but also it went really well. That might make it a little easier for her the next time she has to do one. Sometimes, the anticipation (or trepidation) of having to do something is worse than actually doing it, and it sounds like once Dearra calmed down because she thought she wasn't going to have to give her presentation that day actually giving the presentation wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. If she can focus on the fact that she does really well when she is actually doing them, then maybe she won't get as nervous beforehand, although that is a lot easier said than done. Still, I do hope that she will be able to hold on to the positive aspects and be very proud of herself for her accomplishment!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 May 10
Yeah, welcome back!
It is the anticipation, I am sure of it. Hopefully the counseling and the breathing exercises, not to mention the praise, will help!
@sunnycool (12714)
• India
7 May 10
Should i welcome back you from a Short or a long break 
1 person likes this
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 May 10
Hi Dawn,
I am teary-eyed after reading this sharing of yours how dearra made it. I am so proud of her. You inspired her and guided her much to have the confidence to face the class and do her presentation. This is a very touching story. I may sound OA but that's what i felt. I am carried away. please extend my hugs to her. congrats dawn and to your hubby you had a great inputs and pointers for her.
by the way, happy mother's day dawn!
