"I'm a stay at home wife"
By SomeCowgirl
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
United States
May 8, 2010 11:37pm CST
Today just a few minutes ago actually I was talking on this chat site that I moderate. A person asked me "What do you do?" and I said "I'm a stay at home wife." Now I come over here to ask you all, what's your definition of a stay at home wife? I don't mean a stay at home mother, I know what that is, but what about a wife? Even before having children the wife has to take care of her husband. I do that a lot, feeding him, putting sun screen on him, making sure he has his water, and everything he needs before leaving for work. When he's home I bring him things, I'll fix him things to eat, things like that.
At home I clean (a little I procrastinate ALOT), I earn online (I'm trying to earn enough to fill up the tank) and I play video games, or watch t.v. When he's home I tend for him... So I ask, do I really have this title by your definition, or what would you call me?
A lazy slob?
8 people like this
25 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 May 10
Cloud31, I was not asking whether I should be called a wife but whether I should be called a "Stay at home wife". 
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
11 May 10
Stay at home wife is much better than housewife. None of us is married to our house. We work hard at what we do.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 May 10
Who could still use a little disclipine when it comes to actually getting things done, but hey I guess we all need that sometimes, don't we?
How about a domestic engineer?
domestic goddess?
Happy?@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 May 10
I sound like I'm desperate for a new title!
It's really a self appointed title as is so....
It's really a self appointed title as is so....1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159058)
• Boise, Idaho
9 May 10
I think that a good wife is one that takes care of her husband and inables him to his job well and backs him up totally. Now a stay at home wife is just one that stays at home. Some of them have their own small business and make extra money that way. Others are just into crafts and decor.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 May 10
If a stay at home wife can be a good wife as well, what would she then be called?
1 person likes this
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
9 May 10
As cloud said in her comment, housewife... You're too sweet that you really take care of your husband. come wives don't do such, I wish I could have a wife as good as you. Staying at home and doing all the work really is boring so it's okay for you to do some video games and TV... Even do you have no real daytime job at least you're helping your husband by your online earnings.. But does he not tell you to lessen your time online or does he support you on doing it?
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 May 10
My husband actually tells me to play video games as while I don't do nearly enough online or offline, he says I need to not get so stressed out. I know I can do a lot better, I tend to my husband because I love him but I am also lazier then I really should be.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 May 10
yresh,
I miss you as well, I hope we'll bump into each other at moez sometime soon. I am not that good at making money but there's a certain member of moez that seems to be pretty awesome at it himself.
@yresh12 (3212)
• Philippines
10 May 10
yeah.. MIss libby to is a "stay at home wife"
Yeah I'll be online tomorrow.. I just got terminated with my writing job..
Haha...
At least I know how to write stuffs a bit. I was busy doing it and I couldn't catch up. They were looking for part-times then after that that my employer change it to full time. that's why I got so busy.. huhu...
Am looking for another job right now and just waiting for reply. I would be able to chat and talk on moez this week.. hahaha
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
13 May 10
Well I would give you that Title yes
I mean a lazy slob is someone that does nothing at all which is not you
Your Hubby goes to work you tend to the House and that when he comes home he gets spoilt after a hard Days work so you are also doing a job, he would have to pay a Fortune for someone like that lol
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
13 May 10
Yes and he'd still get nagged most likely, and I do all that for free! 
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
10 May 10
You are a wife, (insert your name), a friend, a daughter. I am not sure I'd call you a 'stay at home wife', why not just a wife? I'm a wife AND a mom, and there's nothing 'stay at home' about me. I am also employed, my employers just do not monetarily compensate me. Therefore, I find it silly for people to consider people who do not report to someone where they work for money to be 'stay at home parents' or 'unemployed', because as I just stated, I neither stay at home nor am I 'unemployed'.
My definition of a wife is probably easily found in wikipedia, an online dictionary, or an old school book - a woman who is married is typically known as a wife lol. I most definitely would NOT call you a lazy slob. WTF? LOL!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 May 10
I'd consider your work outside of the home to be volunteer, you volunteer your time without compensation.
I am a wife, that is for sure, and I do stay at home, I work online but like you I don't report to anyone, i do get a little compensation of course but we both do just for mylotting. Not yet a mom so can't say I'm a SAHM.
Oh, haha and the lazy slob part no one has called me, I've felt that way about myself though.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
9 May 10
Hey Cowgirl! I am not a wife, but I am a stay at home girlfriend!
So what? I don't have to answer to anyone! I put in my many
years at work and I have money coming in and it isn't anyone's
business what I do with my life day to day! If I want to do
nothing (which is pretty much what I do these days) then that is
my business! I am on Disability and am not dealing well with
things right now! So, I also have a procrastination problem!
The only one getting angry is my boyfriend! He sort of understands
my depression issues so he puts up with it! I also try to take
care of him, but honestly he does most of everything and I do
feel badly that I can't seem to get my act together to help
him right now!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 May 10
Sometimes we are all in a sort of fog, I am sure the fog will lift in no time and you will be back to your old self again. It sounds like your bf is a very lucky man to have someone like you.
I feel blessed to have a man like my husband, I just dislike sometimes that I do not do what I can do for him more.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 May 10
Admittedly though he does do some things like clean up after I reheat left overs, or something like that. He also pretty much always makes the bed. There's more things I could be doing for sure.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
11 May 10
Hello SomeCowgirl. Selfishly, I think I would like to have somebody who does everything you just described. And I wouldn't worry about any title or name fitting for her. It'll just be 'my loving wife'.
Jeez, do I sound cheesy or what?!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 May 10
Not really cheesy bounce58, but more like old fashioned. It's admirable, and I'd love to be able to stay home and continue to do all these things. Hopefully I'll be able to, of course with more emphasis on earning online for nothing else then for money to save to help pay off bills sooner.
@evepin (721)
• Philippines
10 May 10
hmm, i think housewife is a good term, or home maker? in my opinion, "stay at home mom" is used to define two kinds of moms: either working or not. i am a stay at home mom myself, i also call myself a home maker or a housewife. funny though is when i traveled out of the country and there's this portion in the travel card asking for an occupation. i asked my mom about it and she just said put home maker. so there you go. don't stress about what you should be called. it is a rare opportunity to be a full-time homemaker given the current economy. what's important is both you and your spouse are comfortable with your setup.
cheers and happy mylotting!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 May 10
This was more of a fun discussion then anything too terribly serious and the last part about being a "lazy slob" was just a comment nothing really all that serious, and no one actually called me that. I am happy to be able to stay at home, but we're not going anywhere. I am trying to up by time online and what I do as well to hopefully increase my pay.
If I could do that it'd be worth it to stay at home, if not then It's better I look for a job and then later if I can quit the job and concentrate on having children.
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
10 May 10
you are entitled to that eposition title somecowgirl..stay at home wife definitely defines you as you have enumerated the things you do for your husband and home..and its a title which is equivalent to those other fancy position titles of working wives..it's not easy to do the job of a full-time stay at home wife..and no one has the right to call you a lazy slob either..being a stay at home wife is a full time job..a round the clock job which cannot be substituted (lol) just like when you are absent from work in the office, someone could do the work for you..but not the work of a stay at home wife..you've very much earn the title of a full time stay at home wife cowgirl! im happy for you!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 May 10
I appreciate and thank you for your response to me deriellevc73, there are still more things I could be doing though.
@dhezrn (98)
• Philippines
24 May 10
Hey there.. Be proud that you are a stay-at-home wife. You take care of the household and your husband. Nothing wrong with that. You're not lazy at all. In fact, I think stay-at-home wives have the hardest job of them all, especially when the kids come in. Don't worry about it. As long as you're happy and you're husband is happy, nothing to worry about. :)
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
24 May 10
I still need to find a job and plan to, and then when the kids come around I might quit my job to take care of them. With a wish like that, I really need to get my eye on the ball and try to earn and save as much as possible.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
9 May 10
Work at home is more difficult that work for someone else. I would call you "estate manager" or "home trust manager".
You are doing shopping, cleaning, laundry, cooking and serving. Probably you are also doing accounting and paying bills.
It is a full time job in my point of view.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 May 10
I wish I could say I do all those things but I don't. I clean, and I reheat. My husband and I only know how to make a few things so we don't normally do any cooking. We know enough to be able to survive on our own, but right now we still live with his parents. My husband balances the checkbook, I merely just add to the bank account by earning online.
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
9 May 10
Hi Hun! I would say that "Stay At Home Wife" fits your title to a T! It's perfect! You take care of your husband, cook, clean, and do everything a stay at home mom would so yea it's perfect! Then if you and your hubby ever do have kids all you have to do is drop the wife part and put Mother OR add And Mother to it! I really like that term! When my hubby and I got married I was 6 months pregnant, so I only got to be a stay at home wife for 3 months!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 May 10
We plan to have children so if the good lord graces us with them, I will definitely drop the title wife, or add the title mom... In our families, when you have a child usually the husband calls the wife "mama" ya know for the kids sake and all, which I assume is that way for pretty much anybody anywhere... but my grandfather still calls my grandmother either granny or mama for the benefit of all lol.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
9 May 10
Hi, SomeCowgirl. You are not a lazy slob. I don't seem to think that you are even classified as being this way. As for me, I am at home being loyal to my husband. I do make sure that my apartment is very clean. And, I try to have something cooked for all of us to eat. My husband is not one of those men that expect me to cook and clean everyday. If there are dishes in the sink, he will not fuss. He may just run some water and place the dishes to soak. In the past he would say something to me about this, but now, he eases off of me. He knows that I will do what is needed to be done while he is gone. And he knows that I am not lazy. I do mostly everything, cleaning, cooking, homework with our son and taking care if of our kids. I am a wife that stays at home that is loyal to my husband. He does for his own self. He will fix his own food on his plate. All that I may do is cook it or reheat any food on the stove. When he was very sick, I did everything for him that he was unable to do. That is expected of me as his wife. He does not expect dinner to be waiting on the stove. If there isn't anything, he will pick up something from the restaurant or he will make him a cold sandwich.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 May 10
Let me clarify as I think maybe people are assuming someone has called me a lazy slob. To be quite honest it's just the way I kind of felt at the time. My husband and I do things pretty much equally. I might do all of the chores, but he cleans up the kitchen after we eat left overs, and he makes our bed. We don't have any kids yet, but we've already discussed it. If I am not working I will do pretty much everything for the kids, and for the home as well I should because he'd most definitely be working harder then he is now, though he works pretty hard now.
I'm glad you guys have a system like we do.
@Tianna2 (1273)
• United States
9 May 10
Hi SomeCowgirl,
I guess stay at home wife fits your lifestyle, I think Housewife fits better though. I really think that whatever me or anyone else thinks you are really shouldnt matter that much though. If your husband doesnt have a problem with you staying home, thats all that really matters. I know some guys like the idea of having thier wives staying home just to take care of them, to tell you the truth, I'm kind of jeolous of you. I wish I could find someone like that, I'd love to stay home and do all of those things.
Hugs, Tianna
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 May 10
When I got laid off from work, I just went back to tending to my husband. I've not found another job but I do try to earn some money online. With my husband about to make a transition at work, I wanted to stay home until I could figure out what hours he'd be working and then search for a job.
Right now I just try to earn online, I think I do pretty good in that department but beat myself up about not cleaning as I should, I'm heavily a procrastinator there.
@mlloyd23671 (28)
• United States
9 May 10
in my opinion i would say that you earned that title if thats what you do. i amd an at home wife mother and i do most of that stuff... i have alittle trouble keepin up with the cleaning lol. but yeah as long as your making your husband happy and your trying to make his load alittle easier then i would say yes you've earned it.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 May 10
You have your hands more full then I do. I am not yet a mother so I do not yet have the added responsibility of caring for a child. I can understand not being able to keep up with the cleaning with tending to your children.
@elvira1 (101)
• Philippines
9 May 10
I'd say you're a dedicated, loving and responsible housewife. Being a working mother myself, I could say that yours is the toughest job ever. I don't think I can effectively do what you are doing for your family. I salute you for a great job.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 May 10
I am not yet a mother, though... so I can not claim that title yet, I'd say yours is tougher though as you work and then go home and work more, you don't get as much rest as I do for sure.
