Older women with younger men -- yay or nay?

Philippines
August 6, 2010 3:11am CST
Guys, are you okay with dating older women? And girls, is it okay for you to date a younger man? And I'm not just talking about a year older or younger. Like, 5 years and beyond. My sister's 32 and she seems to be playing sweet music with a guy that's almost 10 years younger than her. I don't know, I'm just not comfortable with that kind of age gap. If it were just a year or 2 years gap, I'd probably be okay with it. But with the guy at the age of 21 or 22, I just find it odd... But that's just me. How about you, are you okay with dating someone who's way older or younger than you?
10 people like this
47 responses
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
Are you familiar with the quote "All is fair in Love"? And love is blind of course. Maybe this applied to people who are very much in love but don't care less about the age of their partner. For me this is ok, but it's still sneered by our culture. We belong to the Asian culture and mostly Asians still cling their culture to the past. As long as two people are very much in love regardless of their age, I couldn't care less.
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
I'm not sure if this view is tied to our culture. I guess personally, I'm not comfortable because I feel the guy, being really young, may not be so much into the "relationship," if ever that's what's going on between them. Anyways, thanks for responding.
• Philippines
7 Aug 10
i always attracted with older man.i feel so weak and so soft as a woman, and to have older man will make you feel safe always, and the thought of they will might look for younger one will be lessen because you are young enough...mostly men if they are at age they look for younger women, as their pride,so i'd rather choose with the older one.
@Galena (9118)
7 Aug 10
it's a great shame that you've let people make you beleive that women are weak. we are not.
@serubhai1 (204)
• India
6 Aug 10
Hi Moonchild, I guess the right answer will be that "its the frequency which is supposed to match and not the age". But that will be hypocrisy because you see-I am also not very comfortable dating someone 10 years older then me cos' someway or the other "Mrs Robinson" of the "The Graduate" fame comes to my mind. ( Not that I have a regular line of older women all queuing up to be my date) I agree with you. In the case of your sister, a 21/22 yrs boyfriend is to invite disaster because I do not think the guy has matured yet. But say a 30-40, 35-45, 40-50 seems to be OK as both the protagonists would have had enough experience of life and its complexities!
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
I like the "Mrs. Robinson" bit. I guess I'm just concerned that since the guy is too young he might not be serious with all this. Anyway, thanks for the response.
@sender621 (14921)
• United States
6 Aug 10
I see nothing wrong with a relationship between an older woman and a younger man. i also don't see anything wrong with a relationship between an older man and a younger woman. Age should have no claim on who fall in love with. As long as you are committed and faithful to a relationship, it should not matter who is older or younger. All that should matter to you is love and happiness.
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
Thanks for the response. You have a point, age should not matter and what's important is their commitment and fidelity. I sure hope they are committed to each other...
@Galena (9118)
6 Aug 10
I don't see any reason why not. my mum is 12 years older than my stepdad, and they're really good together. people aren't all the same, so you can't say that a certain age of man or a certain age of woman will work or won't work together. you can't say that men should always be the older one, or that women should always be the older one. compatibility is based on more than age.
• Australia
7 Aug 10
That's probably the best response I have ever read. You are very right. my current girlfriend is 2yr older than me. We are both capricorns. Shes born in 79 and I'm born in 81.
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8142)
• Canada
19 Jun 11
I don't think age makes a difference as long as it is okay with the two people. It all depends though on the ages of those two people. I don't think it's okay if the younger one is too young. I have a friend that when he was 44 years old he dated and got pregnant, his friend's daughter who was only 17 at the time. They ended up getting married and had another child a couple years later but of course they split up. He was 48 and she was 21 when they split. He got so insecure about her age that he wouldn't let her out of his site. He was afraid that she would find a younger man and he ended up smothering her and so she left. But I think if the youngest one is older than that it's okay. My sister is 50 years old and her live in boyfriend is 40 years old and that's okay at that age. For one thing she looks younger and he looks older so they pretty much look the same age and they certainly act the same age as they both act like they're teenagers again.
@ifa225 (11091)
• Indonesia
29 Nov 10
i want to date someone younger than me. ten years or less. if he really loves me and i love him too, i guess it would be fine. but if he looks an older woman just to get steady and want my money, that is a very big big no no
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
Dating someone way way older or younger than you are isn't really my thing. Though I have dated someone who was 3 years younger than I was. At least it wasn't that far off an age gap. People with a very far age gap should try to consider whether or not they get along well. Probably complement each other in ways.
@Lore2009 (7379)
• United States
3 Sep 10
Stereotypically, I'd think the guy would be way too immature for me if he was 5 years younger. I dream about men who are a lot older than me, but then, there can be some 'boy' who will be a lot maturer. So, it would depend on the person, but most likely, it would be a NO for me!
@MsTickle (25192)
• Australia
14 Aug 10
I'm glad you're not my brother...it's really none of your business how old your sister's guy is. People don't meet and ask the age of each other and decide to be friends if the age is "right". The people's age is not the reason they like each other and get together. Some men, usually younger men, are attracted to older women but most of the time it's an attraction of another sort. My second husband was 8 years younger than me and attracted to older women. Turns out he was really irresponsible and his culture put a wedge between us. There was another boyfriend who was 9 years older and too set in his ways to take the step for us to be together. Then there was a fellow who was again 8 years younger. We were just very attracted to one another for some reason, he was attracted to many different women...lol. There was another guy, also 8 years younger and we got along like a house on fire. We split up because of a misunderstanding about something that had nothing to do with our ages. My point is, in most cases, age is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Others might make a fuss about it but it means nothing to the people involved or it could mean a lot and be part of the excitement of being together. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. It's no one else's business but the people concerned.
@goldeneagle (6773)
• United States
9 Aug 10
My wife is six years older than me, and it has never caused a problem...I have pretty much always dated older women...
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
whichever, true love does wonders and defy norms...
@meirhu (363)
• Israel
8 Aug 10
My oldest son is living with his girl friend for 20 years now and she is 18 years older than him. I have never been with an older woman. The mother of my small children is 22 years younger than me. I think that that was OK because I'm polyamorous. Love is NOT easy to come by. Take it where ever you find it.
@sjaswon (635)
• Jamaica
7 Aug 10
I am not comforting with a older woman who is always complaining at me every time.
@candymarie (1368)
• Canada
7 Aug 10
I'm alright with dating someone much older than me, a 25 year old female. I dated a guy younger than me before, just by 2 years, but that ended badly. Was it because of the age? I do not know, all I know is that he treated me like sugar-honey-ice-tea after our breakup, to a point where he said I should do the world a favour and kill myself. BUT, my roommate, whom is a 19 year old male, is currently seeing a 35 year old woman...I do NOT know what to say.
• United States
7 Aug 10
YAY! Once upon a time...I had a relationship with a man 14 years younger than I. It was only a physical relationship, which was exactly what I required at that time. I didn't have the desire for giving up my emotional state. The "no strings attached" and probably the man's age were the reason for allowing this type of relationship to begin with...which lasted a year and a half, I must add.
@gabs8513 (48702)
• United Kingdom
7 Aug 10
Hello Moonchild I don't think I would be comfortable with that either but I suppose it depends on the feelings People have for one another I mean if it is just for fun no I would certainly not be comfortable with that at all I don't know it just does not seem right somehow
@jdyrj777 (6538)
• United States
7 Aug 10
Age is just a number and whatever someone else is doing is their business. Personally for me i perfer the male to be close to my age. However i have met a few younger males that for some reason wanted to give me some lovings. I would love them back not. Not look for a relationship. But, hey, if a young stud wants to give me some loving why should i deny him that???
@ladyhope (377)
• Canada
7 Aug 10
I don't think age is a problem either way. Whether the man or woman is older, it doesn't matter. People can't control who they fall in love with.
@derek_a (10881)
7 Aug 10
Having been married before to an older woman and now to a younger woman than myself, I would say that it's OK. Although having said that, if the age gap is very big, then there could be a few problems, especially for the older partner who may feel that he/she is too old and feel insecure about his/her partner's youth. With me the age difference is 9 years with my wife being the younger partner. With my last marriage it was almost 3 years, but when we broke up, it was nothing to do with age as it wasn't obvious at all, and it doesn't seem to be so now either. I would say that if somebody feels comfortable with it and loves the other person then go for it! Some marriages with big age gaps are very successful.. One can never tell regardless of age. _Derek