Is there a right or wrong way to respond to discussions here?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
October 9, 2010 4:47am CST
I thought I can now call myself a seasoned mylotter after earning my 'PR' status in mylot for having been here for more than 4 years. I am one of the few pioneer members left who stubbornly refused to surrender. Simple reason, I like it here and feel very much 'at home' interacting with friends and would be friends in mylot. I welcome newbies to be my friends if you feel that I am worthy to be a friend of yours.
I am a simple person with simple thoughts and I write plain simple words to suit everyone. But that doesn't mean I am a lame duck and can be feasted on. I can be outright blunt with my unforgivable razor tongue and only demand apologies upon realizing that I have disturbed the 'hornets nest'. I can say a thousand apologies but that would not move those who are overly sensitive and could not see the sincerity of my words. But I believe in free speech and do sometimes engage in healthy debates like nothing better than a fight with no holds barred, and it might offend others.
But much as I thought I know the in and out of mylotting, I can still feel the heat of criticism that are thrown to some who are not giving well thought out replies to their respondents. I couldn't understand what other ways can anybody come up with in their replies when some of the facts are within the discussion. As starter of the discussions, we may or may not reply to our responders but out of goodwill many do reply but not in full text as the discussion. It is just a way of saying thank you for your response with some added words. I know I am guilty of posting discussions after discussions and giving short replies to all my responses. But I think I didn't leave out any responses without commenting. That is what I learned from my seniors here to acknowledge everyone if you need continuous support from others.
15 people like this
29 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Oct 10
Hi there Zandi,
I try to respond back to all those that respond to my discussions but as you said, sometimes it is just too much. Also if there is nothing new to say then it feels like you are just being repetitive.I usually take a break from responding when it starts to feel too much like work. Its polite to reply back but bottom line is that it is our choice whether or not to respond back. I've actually been in some pretty decent discussions that have taken on a life of their own when the writer of the discussion doesn't partake at all.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
I do feel that way too. Once I get to the third page of my responses, I have exhausted all my brain juices and needs to take a break and let it hang on there till the next few days. But a friend noticed that I am not being consistent in my comments and even on short responses I will give my long comments and not very descriptive sometimes. I have been here for a long time and that was the first kind of critics I get. But I do accept constructive criticism in good faith.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I think u do a fine job on here. U are right about freedom of speech on here. aS LONG AS U ARE HONEST W/OUR RESPONSES IF THEY DO NOT SIT WELL W/OTHERS I CONSIDER THAT THEIR PROBLEM. tHERE'S NO WAY EVERYONE IS GOING TO AGREE ON EVERY DISCUSSION. aS LONG AS PEOPLE ARE NOT RUDE TO ME I DON'T CARE IF THEY DON'T AGREE W/ME. i LIKE TO SEE EVERYONE'S RESPONSES WHETHER THEY ARE PRO OR CON TO MY OPINION. i DON'T THINK I HAVE EVER FAILES TOANSWER A RESPONSE TO MY DISCUSSIONS. dIDN'T MEAN TO TYPE THIS IN CAPITALS BUT I SEE I DID. i KNOW PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THAT BUT IT'S HARD FOR ME TO SEE THE SMALL PRINT.pLEASE EXCUSE ME to all that don't like the capitals.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 10
How ever you type your words I don't mind. You are one of my very dear friend in mylot and I do understand when you are in CAPS. I am curious to know whether you have any objections to how I reply to all responders. Sometimes I have to be very brief in my replies to my responses and that is not seen as descriptive or good enough to some people.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Oct 10
gOOD SUNDAY MORNING Zandi, i HAVE NO OBJECTIONS AT ALL THE WAY U RESPOND TO MY DISCUSSIONS . U know i have always told u how much i enjoy your discussions on here also. I don't always give lenghty responses either . Some people u can't please no matter what u do so i wouldn't worry about it. I think the main thing that's important is that u respond.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
9 Oct 10
Hi!
The more we learn more we get to know how ignorant we are, so goes the saying. So we keep learning each day on mylot how to respond to a discussion in a better way and how to keep it alive by way of posting of our comments and counter-comments. I am not exaggerating, I find that you are one of the select few, one of the best 'discussion starter'. You always start thoughtful and meaningful discussions, which prompts others to come out with their views. We have been here for pretty long time and we keep enjoying our days here, uninterrupted. 
The more we learn more we get to know how ignorant we are, so goes the saying. So we keep learning each day on mylot how to respond to a discussion in a better way and how to keep it alive by way of posting of our comments and counter-comments. I am not exaggerating, I find that you are one of the select few, one of the best 'discussion starter'. You always start thoughtful and meaningful discussions, which prompts others to come out with their views. We have been here for pretty long time and we keep enjoying our days here, uninterrupted. 2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Oct 10
Zandi!
I would be very glad to motivate you. I can vouch for you that you express yourself in the best possible manner here on mylot.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
Your praises are appreciated and it give me extra motivation to come up with more interesting discussions in future. I don't know how best is best but I always feel that we need to express ourselves clearly and not to waste mylot space by posting nonsensical discussions. Yes, I have long tenancy with mylot and hope to retire in mylot.
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10874)
•
10 Oct 10
Congratuations for staying here for 4 years. I became a member 4 years ago also and have thoroughly enjoyed using the site, getting to know friends from all over the world and enjoying many discussions.
I think if there is a "right" way to respond to a discussion it would need to be truthful and respectful for the fact that people have different ways of seeing life and all its problems and trials. I think that is more or less free speech, and some people may interpret a response as an attack.
I don't attack people, but will freely share what I think and experience and if a person does think I am attacking, I will come back and try to re-explain what I am trying to communicate. I fully recognize though that this is difficult with the written word because one's facial expressions and gestures cannot be seen.
I don't think anybody on here has ever tried to attack me, but if I thought they were I would need to find out why and what was wrong. If it is their opinion that I deserve to be attacked, then there's no point in pursuing the matter further as opinions can rarely be changed if a person has taken a dislike to another person.
To me, it is just a person who has written something, and I never take it personally anyway. _Derek
_Derek
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 10
Still active after four years of mylotting, is a record of sort. I usually don't have a strong staying power to any one site but mylot has that magical power to make my stay a pleasant one. I am a toothless tiger and don't usually make the first move to attack. But when provoked I have to guard my territory and try to defend in every possible way. Sometimes when we speak the truth, people get offended. Writing short comments to responses get criticism. But there is no way we can satisfy everybody. My un-dented 4 years stay has been an interesting one and wish to continue my stay here as long as mylot is still surviving. .
@josiefruit (21)
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
whoah! First, though I'm newbie here I believe that there is no wrong way of responding any discussion because if there is it will be embarrassing to share your ideas.
Second, I am thankful that I decided to join discussions now because it helps you learn and help you build confidence in meeting people or making friends in a unique way (online).
2 people like this
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
I know mylot for about four years too. I just think and wonder how many years this pretty site has been alive... I guess it is quiet sometimes by now we should be happy in that fact, though i am a little tough in accepting friends request now, yet i am still willing to have fun and support new comers as i am not here also if those members before just ignore my presence here... All i just want for the newbies is they will learn to plant a virtual tree, you know for sure the idea of planting a small tree . . . As of the way of responding, well i am into freedom of speech, as long as i could not violate the guidelines then i can say everything i want! We are here to share, we are here to understand, we are here to say something we want to say! This is our time to be heard, and listen others
we should be happy in that fact, though i am a little tough in accepting friends request now, yet i am still willing to have fun and support new comers as i am not here also if those members before just ignore my presence here... All i just want for the newbies is they will learn to plant a virtual tree, you know for sure the idea of planting a small tree . . . As of the way of responding, well i am into freedom of speech, as long as i could not violate the guidelines then i can say everything i want! We are here to share, we are here to understand, we are here to say something we want to say! This is our time to be heard, and listen others2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 10
Mylot is an established social networking site and it has been here for quite a while. Was here a few weeks after its inception. So can proudly call myself a pioneer in mylot.
I have to thank mylot of enabling me to meet many wonderful people who has not only become my friends but more like my real world friends. I have planted my tree here and has rooted healthily in that I have met and made friends with many wonderful people who have not only added to the wisdom of life but has made me a confident person in life.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Oct 10
my gosh zandi you were here before I c ame and you always did a
fantastic job of co mmenting back, what more does anyone want
from you? I liked your simple straight forward way of commenting
and I cannot understand why anyone would criticize your style'
of commenting whatsoever.I do not usually write a ton of stuff for
each comment my self.And I try to make my comments intelligent
and referring to the responses.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 10
I was here few weeks after mylot was born! But in between I have taken leave from mylotting and that may explain why I am still far behind you. Unlike you, I don't usually write so much in my comments. Firstly my responses usually exceed 3 pages and by the time I finish the first page, my brain start to be unco-operative with me and I tend to become repetitive in my words. It is human nature to want more than what others can afford to do. I have been commenting like usual for as long as I can remember and was surprised when I was ticked off for being too brief.
It is human nature to want more than what others can afford to do. I have been commenting like usual for as long as I can remember and was surprised when I was ticked off for being too brief. @sender621 (14894)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I don't think there is a right or wrong way to respond to a discussion here. As long as you speak from your heart, that is all that really matters.2 people like this
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
10 Oct 10
Wow, you have been here 4 years? I didn't know that Mylot has been online for that long -and I suppose, longer-.
I find it good when people answer to your comment, even if it's just a simple "thank you", as that's a way to know they have read my answer. However, it's very difficult to give a long answer to everyone, as you can run out of ideas quickly.
Well, I hope you keep enjoying this website for even longer
2 people like this
@sweetloveforeve (13106)
• Portugal
9 Oct 10
i always respond to people that answer my discussions^^ some people always always respond my discussions so i dont mind at all to answer them^^ and give big answers^^ anyway i think that everyone can answer as they want^^ is not a right or wrong way to answer it^^ everyone can thank or not people that answer their discussions^^ is their decision^^ but sure i prefer to answer it^^ is sweet that those people chose to answer my discussion^^
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 10
We are here to support each others discussions regardless of friends or not friends. Giving comments is an area where we are at liberty to say what we wish to write but some people think that comments given are not on par with the responses their get.
1 person likes this
@Bingster_6 (309)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
By the way , for add on, for me there is a right way in responding discussions, as long as it is stated from the guidelines of my lot, and if I were to judge, so far, I have come to this mylot, I've replied nice and descriptive discussions, although some are not so important already cause we have the right answers given by the responders.
2 people like this
@Bingster_6 (309)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Hello Zandi,
I'm really that lucky to have you as my friend, I learned a lot from your responses, and even though I'm having a hard time thinking the right words to type/say, I'm trying my best to let you understand what I'm supposed to express in my own simple words, though I'm not that good in stating english grammars, I understand that its nice to post a descriptive reply in mylot, cause we learn and learn, its like a food for our brain,again thanks a lot, and hope we'll keep in touch and enjoy mylot,thanks for helping a newbie and that would be me. ^_^
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Oct 10
I once was in your place, a newbie, and it took me a long time to be able to really make my presence felt here because I am a reluctant writer, I don't have confidence to pen my words fearing that others might mock me due to my not very strong command of this language. But didn't realized that an established writer is reading my every discussions and was impressed not my words but the ideas that I had. He requested to be friend and pm me asking me to read his blog. I was really impressed by his writing talent. I am trying to learn how to write and since then mylot has become my writing lab...
@bluekush10 (48)
•
9 Oct 10
To me mylot is here for us to respond to things like discussions, in our own way.I don't think there is a right or wrong way to respond to anything on here, but there's an exception though, that no profound language is used or any type of discrimantion. Everyone has their own opion and I think that mylot wants to see our opions and how everyone looks at things.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157652)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I know that at this time I have some discussions that have gone begging. I have not taken the time to post back, yet. I will, but it will be at my convenience. It seems to be human nature to want rules to follow. "You must comment on all responses. You must have so many lines of text. You cannot give BR for so many days or weeks." When we start setting up arbitrary rules we are then giving ourselves permission to judge others and tell them they are wrong. I know that you do just fine here. I think we need to have some of us old time members here. It validates the site. Besides, as you said, it is homey to interact with friends and people from all over the world.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
I have done most of my homework but those who responded later need to take the cue as I need to take care of my new discussions. It is just impossible to please everyone here or be compared to others who might have a field day in replying to their responses. Getting more than 5 pages of responses is no small task and in order not to bypass anyone I have to give short but sweet comments.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
9 Oct 10
wow you've been a member for 4 years? I've been a member I think for three years but I'm not sure. I love mylot. Before I would just comment on a few discussions each day after having reached the first payout. This past month I tried to comment a lot to reach payout and now I'm addicted to the site again. I love expressing my opinions and getting paid for something so easy. I try to respond to everyone who leaves me comments but if they leave less then a two line response then I dont bother. If they give me a nice response on my disucssion then I do the same.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
Hi shaggin, you have been a long time member here too. You have to be here always to really feel the fun of socializing in a very unique way. I try to come to every responses to my discussions so they feel appreciated when I leave my comments.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
Oh..I didn't know that I have been a beacon that lighted up your life in mylot. Thank you. I would say your continued support to my discussions has inspired me to hang on here without realizing that I have rooted myself in mylot. A marathon stay in one place is a record for me. Well, we aren't supposed to be 'yesman' and a little battle of the tongue spice up the discussion.
1 person likes this
@AndrewFreyne (6281)
• United Kingdom
9 Oct 10
I don't think that there is any wrong or right way in terms of responding to a discussion here. Having said this I make sure that I'm always being truthful and honest to myself and respond to discussions sharing my opinions to the full. I try not to step on anyone's toes in the process though as I don't like offending or insulting others, this is not the way I am.
By the very fact that I am polite to others I most definitely expect the same from others! If I am offended in anyway then I will make this known to the offending party so that they at least understand that I'm not very happy in the way they have communicated towards me. I love My Lot myself and I do consider this a wonderful place to hang out.
I did take some drastic action a couple of days ago in that I removed all friends from my list so now I have no friends here. I think that people just ask to be your friend without actually wanting to know you, they just want you to become a referral for them or something of that nature. So, I have come to the decision now that if I accept a friendship then that is exactly what I am looking for, friendship pure and simple! A chance to chat and get to know the person well and so forth.
I like offering help here myself if I can. I have some skill with computers and I guess I like to be helpful here in that area.Andrew
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
Hi Andrew, I do notice your presence in few of my past discussions and thank you for your regular support. Politeness is one thing we should always apply here especially in a social site that housed people from every corners of the world. I write from my heart so what ever comes out to the screen are my uncensored words which at times does not go down well with others. What I think is good may not be good to others. Coming from different backgrounds create a different understanding on different people. I have to bear that in mind to stay polite at all times so I won't step on anyone's toes.
I hope you get new friends after deleting all your friends in your profile. It is really difficult to find people that can understand us well. I have many friends in mylist but most of them are dormant.
It is great to know that you are offering to help others with computer problems. I might look for you one day if I have problem with my computer. To be honest with you I am no computer savvy and when my computer goes down, I'll rush it to the shop.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Hello Zandi,
There's nothing wrong with it. it's just that some people are just to sensitive with things. just try to be neutral in responding to discussions. some are pretty much sensitive with issues. specially with the Philippine Issues. the one you comment about pinoys in malaysia really spark something, but at least we know what's the situation there. i believe we have the discussions and topics posted the way we wanted to.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
Maybe some people couldn't accept reality especially when it involves their countrymen. But we are matured people and should be able to accept facts on the real situation. I was in fear that the situation goes out of hand. I have awoken the sleeping tigers. You see how words that have never been read here suddenly comes to light. You have an excellent skill as the OP to neutralize the situation and thumbsup to you.
1 person likes this
