Some parents are royal pains. Causing problems everywhere.
By writersedge
@writersedge (22563)
United States
October 17, 2010 10:23am CST
When I first joined Civil Air Patrol, I walked in the door and they said, "Do you have any children?"
"No."
"Good, you can be testing officer."
Why? Because no matter who they chose to be testing officer, that person was accused of cheating to give their child an unfair advantage.
Years later, I couldn't go to Civil Air Patrol during testing nights, so the Commander said, "So-n-so will be testing officer. If any parent has a problem with that, the parent can watch the test being graded. If the parent still has a problem with the testing officer, the parent can take their kid and go to a different Civil Air Patrol." The test is a fill in the dot and the answer key was done (not sure if it still is or not) done two ways, a number and a letter beside it or overlay. I liked number and letter better because an overlay can be a pain.
With the New Commander, lots of parents were told to take their kids elsewhere. Why? You couldn't time their kid out. Everyone was at fault and not their child. No matter what you did concerning their kid, it was wrong. We had to always have 3 adults in the room when we had a child timed out in another room, etc. Every time you promoted a child and that child had more priviledges (and reponsibilities) than another child, then the parent was right there being a pain.
So if the kid and parent(s) couldn't follow the rules, they were told to leave. Now we have parents doing similar things in the schools. Also you can't teach this, or a parent will be in claiming we're doing Satanic worship (parents who are anti-teaching anything with a Halloween theme). In a public school, you can't tell them to take their kid(s) and go home. Parents have complained about the Pledge of Alligance, so often, that I'm the only one saying the pledge in many classrooms I sub in. So one teacher is attempting to eliminate pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns, witches, ghosts, and everything from her classroom.
What next? No Thanksgiving? No Christmas themes?
You reprimand a kid and the parents are right in the school. "Johny was wrongly accused by the teacher." Oh for the days of the experimental school! The parents signed that the school could videotape the classes. One child told his parents, "The other kids start it and I keep getting accused." Of course the Mother came running to the school at the end of the day. So the teacher took the videotape out, rewound it and showed the kid, time and time again. Another student sitting peacefully, reading a book, the Mother's kid trying to take the book away. The teacher telling him to stop and him saying, "I don't have to!" Next the children all sitting in a circle singing, and he slaps the kid next to him for no apparent reason, the other kids were looking at the teacher singing. The final one, the students were watching and listening to the teacher read a story, the parent's kid got up, got a cup, filled it with water, came back to the group and dumped it on another kid's head. That kid had been doing nothing but paying attention. That Mother gave her kid such a dressing down. Especially for lying to his Mother.
The Mother apologized to the teacher. If she had to try to run a class and deal with a kid causing trouble all the time, she'd go crazy. They were going to have the Mother come in and talk to her about her child's behavior anyway. Ask if there were problems at home or what the problem might be. Give him two weeks to straighten out with behavior modification or get help from a pyschologist or counselor, then tell them he must go to another school. But he became an angel the very next day and from then on. They had sent a note home to talk to her, but when she walked through that door originally, the "Mother Bear" syndrome had kicked in and without those videotapes, the situation would have ended much differently, I'm convinced of it. I think he did those things because he thought he could get away with it. Maybe he even knew his Mother would fight for him.
I think every class should be videotaped. Then no one can be accused of things they didn't do. Likewise, they can be held accountable for the things they do.
When the parent has a real concern, fine. Any of those kids he picked on, their parents would have a real complaint. They didn't call or come in. If it had continued, I'm sure they would have.
Do you think some parents are ruining the school systems? Do you think videotapes in the schools and on the buses would help?
2 people like this
6 responses
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
18 Oct 10
There were a lot of kids bullied when I went to school. I had to keep taking kids out of their lockers that the other kids had stuffed them in. My cousin was a bully. He had his timing down to a science. When the teacher wasn't looking, he'd bonk some kid in the back of the head, when the kid went to retaliate, he would get caught. I was only in one class with him and I hated it. I found another section of the same class and got into it. I wasn't bullied because I was sooo different that people were afraid of me. But people were mercilless to my brothers. One bus driver was so sick of it, he called my parents and said that one of my brothers could just "wail on so and so." My parents had told us to turn the other cheak. I did that once, only once, I got clobbered on the other side of the face and then nailed the person to the wall. Ended the bullying for me. If you didn't have a reputation as a fighter in my school, the kids were terrible.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
18 Oct 10
My husband had the same type of thing happen to him and he did the same thing back. Ignoring often works.
Sticks and stones
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
17 Oct 10
YES!!!! That way there will be proof that this teacher took my son out of class for no good reason..And no I hope that I am not one of those, "royal pains" because when I told what happened with my son, I had a parent/teacher who said what this woman did was wrong. I am more than willing to admit my son does wrong, (I live with him, I see more wrong than his school does), but to not come to me when he did something inappropriate and then to take him out of class to reprimand him was totally not right..
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
18 Oct 10
What would you have rather had her do?
It works both ways. You would have already been called in for whatever the bus incident was. She wouldn't have had to talk to your son. In some schools, it's better if the teacher talks to the student out of class to talk than talk to the Principal. Depending on what it was and you don't even know, they're pressing charges against kids, automatically, for stupid things. Pranks even. So unless you know the entire story and all the options, I would be careful. You may be right and you may be wrong.
I don't know if you're a royal pain or not. I'm still deciding. I've only gotten small pieces of the entire situation and so have you. Yet, you're jumping to the conclusion that the sub was wrong.
I know that some teacher's can be a pain, too. OK for their kid to do something wrong, but not yours. Looking at me up and down and like my clothes are no good, (how rude). But some teachers try to settle a situation before it gets out of hand by talking to both parties and getting the entire situation. Some teachers act just like some of the parents and jump to conclusions without hearing both sides or even knowing what the entire situation is. Sometimes all a person can see is what they can see. Maybe Jill pulled Johnny's hair first and watches me like a hawk. Maybe Jill keeps bugging Johnny when my back is turned, but Johnny only exacts revenge in front of me. That's why I like a teacher's aide in the room. One talked to me in the hallway once to tell me that I kept catching the victim and not the original purportrator. The Aide sat in the back of the classroom.
Until you've heard all sides of the situation, you might want to reserve judgement before you become one of those parents.
As a sub, I can't call a parent unless the Principal deems it an emergency, in which case he would call the anyway, not me.
Find out why the sub chose to talk to your son in the hallway. There are two sides to every story. Maybe the sub was wrong, but maybe the sub was right. I would rather have someone talk to me straight up in private than run to the Principal with every complaint so I can change. But every person is different. If a child only needs to be spoken to in order to change, then there shouldn't be a need to run to the Principal.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
18 Oct 10
So they're supposed to discipline your child according to what you believe. What exactly did this witness say?
What exactly is your school's policy on discipline?
Have you even figured out what exactly happened-orignally?
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
18 Oct 10
I've been playing "devil's advocate" here.
I think you may have a legitimate complaint.If she used her position as a substitute to harass or intimidate your son and you have a witness. Also if she broke any school rules in doing so.
She may be the Mother Bear in this scenario. But I wasn't there. Your reporting of the incident indicates that it's possible.
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
17 Oct 10
You know, video taping would be good. I would have liked it on the buses I drove, especially the last one. It sounds as if the classrooms have turned into what many of the buses were. I agree, parents can sometimes be a pain, but other times, they do not do a thing. Mine were that way. When I was picked on at church by one particular girl I was always told "You must have done something to make her act that way. Not!!
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
18 Oct 10
Yes, one extreme or the other, my parents told us to turn the other cheek. I was clobbered on the other side of the face. So I learned I had to fight.
I had an ex-boyfriend like your parents. When I told him that students beat my brothers mercillessly, he said the same thing. But I know they did it because they thought beating-up people with disabilities was funny. Esp. my Mentally Retarded Brother, he would flail (spelling)instead of block, he was so uncoordinated. At 7, he was mentally only about 3 years old and had about as much coordination as one. My brother was often covered with blood. My cousins had an MR child and they had to go to school. The kids in Massachusets spit all over their daughters coat, it was covered in spit when she got off the bus and the kids were still spitting at her when she was leaving the bus, out the windows and the doorway. Bunch of believers that only people without disabilities should go to their school, or in some cases, even be alive.
In my school, kids that were mean to other kids were put off the bus and had to walk home. No small feat, our school was in another town. But with the kidnapping of kids, they can't do that any more. Buses have gone back to the school, parents have been called to come pick up their kids while the bus went back on route and delivered the rest of the kids.
One bus driver couldn't catch the kids that were beating up my brother because they were sneaky about it and he was sick of seeing my brother covered in blood. He pulled over the bus and none of the kids would admit to it (my brother and I rode different buses for awhile). So he called my father and told him to tell my brother that he could pound whoever was hurting him. That was a wake up call to my parents. My brother, at that time, had had his growth spurt and could fight. After he clobbered a bunch of people, they left him alone. My parents were very upset that it had to come to that and that turning the other cheek didn't work.
I remember singing on the bus and mostly, most of the kids behaved. We had a couple of girls who wanted to fight, the substitute bus driver said, "Ladies. . .." We cut him off, we laughed so hard and started yelling, "Ladies, you've got to be kidding!" They were so badly heckled, that they turned colors and sat down. The rest of the bus ride was quiet and uneventful.
So one extreme or the other. Somewhere in-between are reasonable parents.
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
There are some parents who try to make excuses just to make it appear that their children are not causing problems in school when in fact it is the other way around.
In the end, they are ruining the school system.
Children's discipline should start at home.
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Oct 10
I would say here to the parent: "Come, walk a mile in my shoes." The parent, especially mothers, have this thing that says their kid is a golden child and can't possibly do anything wrong. It is sad in a way. The child knows what buttons to push and knows the mother will believe the child over the teacher. I do think that video tapes would help tremendously. I definitely think the parent needs to see it for themselves. It would cut down on kids misbehaving alot. But lets see this get passed as a positive thing in the school districts and not torn down by parents who don't want to believe this of their kids.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
18 Oct 10
ACLU would have a field day. Also do you know how much it would cost and add to the tax burden? They do have a couple of cameras outside where there were fights because no windows faced that way (behind a storage area that the kids figured out could be a problem. They were staging their own 'fight clubs'", but that is it. It did take the number of fights down in that area considerably.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Oct 10
Well that is good. It seemed like fictional story or something.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
19 Oct 10
There are cameras in the buses here. It puts a stop to a lot of riff raff. I think that parents often take up for their children because they can't believe it was "their child" and this can lead to problems. A video tape does take care of that. I actually put my girls in a very expensive daycare years ago because of the fact that everything was taped. It's safer for the kida and prevents parents from backsliding when their kids mess up.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
19 Oct 10
We don't have cameras on the buses here and that's too bad. I think the bus drivers go through a lot.I know my brothers were threatened on school buses and even punched. I think on school buses is a very good idea.
I think kids lie to their parents sometimes,too. I would want to believe my kid. I'd be really disappointed if I found out a child of mine lied to me (I don't have any kids).
But my neighbor didn't even believe her dog dug up my lawn. I couldn't afford a video, so I got a cat who chased him off the property. But, "My dog wouldn't do that." Give me a break.
