Getting un-intimidated
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
October 27, 2010 12:11pm CST
Divorce paper time again...
About 2 months ago, I figured R had had enough time to get back to me on things, and I told him if he didn't get off his duff and respond, that I would just go and file a bunch of final papers and that would be it.
Well he didn't respond to the court, although we did have a chat about things.
Anyway, I went and looked into next steps and I got intimidated. And I put all the divorce paper stuff on hold, and avoided dealing with it for a while. Only thing I really did during that period, was ask my sister if she would look things over for me, and she said she would, as long as I was aware that she doesn't know a freaking thing about family law.
Anyway, you can only procrastinate so long. Well, I can only procrastinate so long.
Yesterday I went back and looked at things, did some searches to find out if there were some do it yourself guides that were easier to follow than the one I was working with, and BEHOLD I found one.
And it turns out that I probably don't have to worry about how to request a court date or any of that stuff. Because of the fact that he didn't respond to the court, I can simply request a default judgment by mail.
There is still an long list of forms that I have to fill out, and one detail that I'm not clear on that I have to clarify, but at least I'm not intimidated any more.
Mostly not anyway. lol
I could actually be done with this in a month, though I think I'm going to go for January 1st. Make a clean cut and a new start with the new year.
Dawn pats self on back...
5 people like this
19 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
27 Oct 10
Good Job, Dawn!
I did my own divorce and I know that it can be confusing and intimidating. I was lucky in that I had an excellent book that pretty much walked me through the process. Even at that, I got confused at times and did the whole procrastination thing. It's not a bad thing. It gives you a little time to make sure you are doing the right thing. I had moved out of the house so it was all just a matter of the paperwork anyway so I took my time. Actually his lack of involvement in it will make the whole process go quicker and easier for you. Hey dawn, I'm a blond and I did this. There is no doubt in my mind that you can do this.
I did my own divorce and I know that it can be confusing and intimidating. I was lucky in that I had an excellent book that pretty much walked me through the process. Even at that, I got confused at times and did the whole procrastination thing. It's not a bad thing. It gives you a little time to make sure you are doing the right thing. I had moved out of the house so it was all just a matter of the paperwork anyway so I took my time. Actually his lack of involvement in it will make the whole process go quicker and easier for you. Hey dawn, I'm a blond and I did this. There is no doubt in my mind that you can do this. 1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
27 Oct 10
Cynthie pats Dawn on back too! Well done.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
Not too many pats until I get them all filled out and mailed!
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
27 Oct 10
The important thing is that you got your head around it all and have made a decision.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Oct 10
Good for you, Dawn! 
Things are so much better when there's one less thing to deal with (or at least when things are made easier!). I don't doubt there's a lot of paperwork involved - with tons of legal mumbo jumbo to boot . . . quite overwhelming I would think. Sounds like you found some light at the end of the tunnel - woo hoo!! And January is just around the corner . . .
Things are so much better when there's one less thing to deal with (or at least when things are made easier!). I don't doubt there's a lot of paperwork involved - with tons of legal mumbo jumbo to boot . . . quite overwhelming I would think. Sounds like you found some light at the end of the tunnel - woo hoo!! And January is just around the corner . . . 1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
The paperwork's nothing compared to dividing and selling and moving things...
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Oct 10
No, we will split things, but there are some things that will need to be gotten rid of, and each of us will need to buy some new things too.
@MagicalBubbles (5103)
• Canada
27 Oct 10
Good job!!
You wont regret it. My divorce day was the happiest day of my life and Ive never looked back. Gawd, Im so happy I filed for one!!!! It was 30 yrs ago but I still feel a rush of contentment when I think about it. Good riddance is what Im thinking.
Can you tell Im REALLY really happy I got divorced?? haha
It was 30 yrs ago but I still feel a rush of contentment when I think about it. Good riddance is what Im thinking.
Can you tell Im REALLY really happy I got divorced?? haha1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Oct 10
Hm, last night I felt like crying, but just depends on the day and the mood.
@MagicalBubbles (5103)
• Canada
30 Oct 10
Imagine James Brown's song "I FEEL GOOOOOD" da da da da da da da I knew that I would now!!
I feel REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT.....I get a natural HIGH when I think about it.
Did I say that I feel good? lol.
Imagine you feeling this way in a few years!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
27 Oct 10
Hip Hip Hooray!! Oh yes all the legal mumble jumbo can be quite intimidating. You just have to take a few deep breaths in between all of the pen inking as it can be quite extensive. At the end of the day you will feel good.
Keep on trucking. 
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
27 Oct 10
The truck is in front of you Dawn - not behind
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
28 Oct 10
By putting the papers away your busy little brain worked while the papers just got older and crispy. Now your brain is ready to cope.
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
28 Oct 10
Hi dawn,
well done to you girl and it won't be long now for a fresh start and will be a happy one, new start to a new year, I admire you for you, hugs.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
28 Oct 10
Good on you Dawn...I am not a procrastinator by nature but some things that are just way too difficult I have been known to put on hold. Men go typically in denial over things that are just too difficult or painful to deal with instead of taking that deep breath and getting on with it. It will probably be a long and tedious process but the sooner it’s started the sooner it will all be done. Big pat on the back for you
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Oct 10
Not as long as tedious and I had originally thought maybe...
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
28 Oct 10
Yey! Good for you! Glad to hear it!
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
29 Oct 10
I hate paperwork!
Although my job involves a lot of paperwork, I wouldn't really want to see anymore in my personal life. So, I could just imagine the dread you have going through all this divorce proceedings.
Anyway, goodluck! And may the new year bring you luck.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Oct 10
It isn't even the paperwork so much as the idea of possibly having to see a judge, among other things.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
Well, I can feel how sticky it must be to be in such a situation especially at the very start, but I can see that you are actually about to arrive at a resolution. Congratulations for having crossed the most difficult part which was getting started with it.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Oct 10
yeah just going to the courthouse and doing the initial filing took me over 2 years to get my nerve up...
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
Ah, but then I wouldn't have these three charming and funny children to write about!
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
I don't think it's a matter of not compromising here. More like if you don't acknowledge what's happening, maybe it won't happen.
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
27 Oct 10
I would assume at this point the kids know.. how are they taking it? Are you working on moving out? Who's getting the kids?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
1. not exactly, next thing to unprocrastinate
2. docs say he moves out, but that's another next step
3. shared custody, but they'll live with me during the week
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
I'm pretty sure it's exactly what he's doing. I"m pretty good at that myself...
@katland05 (136)
• Guam
27 Oct 10
dawn hi...
Your a strong woman & will make other woman who are scared to take this step easier for them to final their own divorce & move on to their new life... I know a few women who are scared & don't know if they can take this final move to make a new life by themselves, that is why they stay with their partner even when abuse is involve... Take it slowly when finalizing your docs for divorce, its better done slowly & done correctly than in a hurry & something was forgotten... Hope everything goes your way, have a great day mylot friends...
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
Oh I'll look it over carefully. My sister offered to look it over for me also...
