How to keep the love last for a lifetime?

India
November 7, 2010 4:47am CST
When you enter into a relationship, you want it last for a lifetime. How can you achieve it? You must have the strong desire that it must last for a long time. You must be willing to work hard to achieve it. Then it is easier now. You have to love your partner more than yourself-that is all. You want to make them happy with all the possible ways, all the times. To put it in simpler words, you have to do all what they like and should not do anything that they don't like.Looks very simple, is n't it? I's easier to say it than to practice it in real life. What are your views?
11 people like this
45 responses
@chookie1971 (2271)
• Australia
7 Nov 10
To have a long lasting love does take a lot of work. I believe it is takes falling in love every day with your partner. Then there is trust and communication. Without these then there is no relationship. I have a little book with quotes. I remember some of them that have inspired me. One is, love is like a fire. You need to attend to it to keep it burning hot. Another one is love is like an empty box. To get some thing out of it, you have to put something into it. There is a reading in the bible that I do love as well which does inspire me. The passage is corrinthians 1 chapter 13. If you have your hand on a bible then have a read of it. It talks about love. I have been with my partner for between 16 and 17 years. Married for 15 years next month. I love my partner with all my heart. I talk to him and I trust him. I do pray that I will spend many more years celebrating my wedding anniversary with my man because I love him.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (98515)
• India
7 Nov 10
Chookie - that is so sweet! I too wish your wishes come true.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Nov 10
@Chookie I wanted to add congrats to you and your husband for your accomplishments. In day like today where so many couples are quick to call it quits my hats to you for your lasting and loving relationship. God Bless.
1 person likes this
• India
7 Nov 10
chookie1971 . thanks for giving a good start for this discussion. These quotes "love is like a fire. You need to attend to it to keep it burning hot. Another one is love is like an empty box. To get some thing out of it, you have to put something into it" are really good. '
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Nov 10
I completely and absolutely disagree. I think when you enter into a relationship your first task is to see if you're compatible in the first place. I absolutely do not agree with just jumping into expecting "forever" to manifest out of nothing. Once you have figured out whether or not you are compatible with this person, then it's time to move on to thinking about whether you should be with them or not. If not then you break up and move on. If so, then you TALK to them about what your life together should be. I for one absolutely do not believe a relationship should ever be about doing ONLY what pleases your partner. YOU are important too and there is absolutely nothing wrong with making sure SURE find happiness yourself. You should both be happy with each other simply being yourselves. If you're not then you need to find another relationship.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Nov 10
I'm not sure what that last sentence means.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Nov 10
I agree that you must know if you are compatible or not. I agree Richnai that as Gloom seems to be saying that only satisfying your partner is no a way to happiness. And so yes, compromise sometimes will be the best solution when you have a couple with a contrasting idea about something. But this is what compatibility is all about, finding out what your partner's likes and dislikes are so you don't bump heads some time in the future.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Nov 10
@richani I am joining your forces and commenting with other boxes, just wanted to add cheers my friend as you stated it well. Relationships are not about what you hate about the person but how can we work together to achieve true happiness...
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
7 Nov 10
I think that the trick is for both partners to wake up each day and decide to make life a little happier and easier for the other person even if it means just doing one little thing for their loved one. I know that when my husband does little sweet things for me they are the times I store away in my memory. Talking is so important too, without communication it is too easy to eventually drift apart. If both parties commit and decide that neither is ever going anywhere that is the best start especially during the tough times.
3 people like this
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
7 Nov 10
hi paula how are you?
2 people like this
• India
14 Nov 10
Well said paula, every one should make the partner happier every day. Of course communication plays a vital role in a relationship. When you get some conflicts, you need to sit, discuss and sort out the problems as early as possible.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
8 Nov 10
I am well thank you...How are you?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
You may call me an idealist but I believe that a love could really last for a lifetime. What the relationship needs is God's blessings. If both parties fear God, they would know that what they have is a gift that not many people get. So in understanding this, both would have to care much not to lose what they have. Both then would work hard to understand each other, their quirks, and differences should be resolved and not be left hanging. Commitment to one another should remain. Other ingredients include respect, trust and forgiveness. Most of all, they must keep on loving each other. "LOVE" is an action word that each partner should not get tired of doing. That's a very nice question.
3 people like this
• India
8 Nov 10
yes, snowhybiscuis , that is a good point. I think We can love God and respect God. No need to fear if you are close to God.This is my opinion. However we can work on a relationship and live a happy life together for a lifetime if we really need it and work hard to achieve it.
1 person likes this
@sheban (28)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
Hello richnai, you're definitely right. We both should be God-loving, rather than God-fearing. To snowhybiscuis, I really love your comment about the topic. I'm praying that I'll have a relationship like that. Your words are reminders for everyone. That's one of the keys that many people nowadays are not keeping.
1 person likes this
@johnpillai (2082)
• Germany
7 Nov 10
I have a very long love path. Time to time I used different kind of technique to bind that man with me. But the technique which I use now works well: I terribly need that man not only as my lover but, also the father of my two children. As I need him not only as my lover but also a perfect father and a happy family member I use some techniques as you told. 1. I make him happy with all the possible ways, all the time. 2. I never do anything that doesn't like (in front of him). But If i find any thing right in the view of God, the things which he doesn't like I do them when he is absent. No one can stop me doing them. In long run he understands that I do so and accepts it.
2 people like this
• India
10 Nov 10
Hi, Johnpillai , nice to know you use several techniques to keep your husband in love with you. Most Indian women are exactly like you. You ladies seem to know these techniques from birth, lol.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
7 Nov 10
Hi johnpillai, nice to hear.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
Here are just some random thoughts on making love last a lifetime: Say I love you often, Say I am sorry, Say I forgive you, Make your spouse a priority. Kids will move out eventually, Have a time just for the two of you at least once a week. Talk about shared memories, Say something nice everyday, Brag about your spouse to your friends when you spouse can hear you, Focus on the positive, Compliment one another. Be happy with the small things and go a little extra for your spouse. Years ahead is better when it is shared with someone you love, and who cares the same about you..
2 people like this
• India
14 Nov 10
hi, abmacasinag, yes, saying "I love you", "I am sorry" can help a lot in a relationship.The couple should realize that they have to live together till the end, through thick and thin, good and bad.They both should compliment each otehr as you rightly pointed out.
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
8 Nov 10
I think mostly it takes the choice to do so. Also I would add to your very good list, that if a dispute arises and becomes a vicious circle of contention, one person dropping their end of the dispute will break the circle/cycle. This is hard for many to do, due to flawed, i.e. imperfect, human nature. - It's also very good to have common interests but at the same time allow each other some space. Everyone needs some time or interest away from the other.. or I should say most. - Also, as with all other good relationships we should be sure to cut each other some slack (knowing that we our selves are far from perfect or without flaw).
1 person likes this
• India
7 Nov 10
love is a beautiful feeling which bonds the two individuals.Any relation is started with a intention to maintain for a life time.any relation to last for a long time there should be a good understanding & respect to each other. trust should be maintained always as once broken it cant be got back easily so we should maintain it love is something which creates a beautiful world for us.
• India
10 Nov 10
hi, ganeshprabhuk, you are right that love is a beautiful feeling which bonds the two individuals. It's also true that for any relation to last for a long time there should be a good understanding & respect to each other.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Nov 10
True love Can last a lifetime but each person Must put in effort to put each other first. To celebrate the similarities and respect the differences.I am finding it helps a lot if you are best friends first and then lovers. If you both understand each other then it Will last.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
7 Nov 10
Commitment is one way to keep love lasting a lifetime. without it, love can change and fade away. Before we know it, the relationship has ended and we can't get it back.
• India
8 Nov 10
hi, sender, I agree with you that commitment is very essential for along lasting relationship. I also think that there are more things to work out to achieve a long lasting relationship. this is my opinion, though.
1 person likes this
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
7 Nov 10
Hi Vijayanth!. I think if we wanna have your love last forever we need to have a mutual respect. we need to respect each others need, passion, and wiling to hears. Love hers the way you wanna love, cherish the way you wanna cherish, praise her for little she do. From what I see from my parent marriage its all about desire but small thing inside it and together in facing hard moment.
2 people like this
• India
14 Nov 10
Hi, nangisha, I agree with you that mutual trust is very important in a relationship. Small things can also have an impact on a relationship, so attend to small matters too.
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
7 Nov 10
Hi anna, how are you? When we enter into relationship, the relationship itself is starting with the promises. So we have to bind for that, apart from that love will bind each other, respecting feelings, compromise, patience, amicability, intimacy, proper understanding also sacrificing (some of the things for their partners) etc., all will make us to long last our relationship.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
hello Jo
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
I haven't reached halfway of my life yet...and I think I've a few and must learn more. Based my experience, trust is very important, but we could deny the fact that we may doubt and get hurt sometimes no matter how much we trust and love our partner. I think, the relationship would last when both are willing to stay together and love each other no matter what.
• India
14 Nov 10
hi, starlight_starbright, yes, trust is very important in a relationship as you said. They both must have a strong desire to stay together for ever. They should love each other unconditionally.
• Indonesia
7 Nov 10
Reading this post's title, remind me of old song by Firehouse: I finally found the love of a lifetime. a love to last my whole life through. I finally found the love of a lifetime. Forever in my heart, I finally found the love of a lifetime. Yeah, your question is actually all people's question. It is you who know how to last your love of a lifetime.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
hello dear anna, It takes two to tango I learned my lesson,and now that i am in love again...i will think of myself first before him. And i will never let myself get hurt again...never happy Sunday dear anna
• India
14 Nov 10
Hi, jai dear, nice to note you are in love again.You can be the first in your life. Still, you need to consider him as the most loving person in this world. He is the one who is going to with you till the end, the kids may move out when they grow up.
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
7 Nov 10
Hi jai
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
7 Nov 10
Hi sweetie. Let me rather give you my personal opinion on this. It will save a lot of hitting an biting and i'm tired. For me a relationship is what both of us will make of it. It's not really hard work. Trust, respect, love and understanding each other is the base of any relationship. That's halfway. To make it succeed and ever lasting. Patients, personal space and love each day. You need to be together, to work together to make it work. People give up when they don't get there own way. And that is the mistake. You got give and take. Like exchanging, you know. Hell, hope that made sense. TATA.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
7 Nov 10
Thanx sweetie. I honestly hope they do get the point eventually. It took me almost 9 months to figure this out.'Hell, if i can do it anyone else can,
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
7 Nov 10
Hi saphrina and hardworkinggurl.... yeah it is like compromising and sacrificing( in some of the things) we have to be according to their wish, that only possible if there is real love.
• United States
7 Nov 10
I agree with you saphy as it is all about compromise and not about what you hate. As yes so many people today are quick to call it quits. To find that they then later carry bad baggage into another relationship and then feel all puzzled as to why it does not work.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
7 Nov 10
"Love" is the key word isn't it? If you both love each other, there shouldn't be any problem at all to last a relationship life time. If you simply don't love each other, what is there to continue this relationship for? So, no matter how many small fights you and your partner have, if you both love each other, it won't be an obstacle to worry about.
• United States
7 Nov 10
Today relationships harder than ever, as so many of us are always too busy to think for a second that maybe our relationships need continual work. I have had a difficult time in this area and finally I have been bless with a wonderful man. We both want the same things in our lives and work at it daily to keep it alive. We trust and communicate more as time goes by and both understand that it is required to keep us alive. We have been together for 5 years now and sure we have had our ups and down but at the end of the day we both understand that if we do not give in we could potentially ruin the love. It is not easy to practice it, as it must be a daily effort to maintain it well. As long as my boyfriend and I keep remembering why we got together in the first place I believe we will be okay.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Nov 10
I believe that making love last is a lot of work. You have to love that person as much or more than you love yourself. You have to express your love in small ways everyday and in big ways from time to time as well. I believe honesty, forgiveness, communication and understanding are all key ingredients to a loving relationship. I do not agree that you should always do what your partner likes and nothing they don't. I believe as long as what you are doing is not harmful to yourself or others, you have a right even in a marriage to pursue some of your own interests. I believe that if a relationship lasts a lifetime, each individual will inevitably change and grow in that relationship and individually, and if you do not allow for individual growth there will be resentments later on down the line, and with resentment comes emotional distance. My husband does some things I am not keen on at all, but I have never asked him not to or made him feel like he is wrong for doing those things. I think a big road block to a lifetime of love is that people go into relationships assuming its okay to mold their partner into what they want them to be, or that they can change someone they claim to love after they've been together. What you are really saying to someone when you try to change them is that they weren't good enough to begin with, and that you didn't love them for who they were but for who you thought you could make them. You have to learn how to respectfully disagree sometimes. And also, you must learn to accept imperfections, and even honor them as a part of who you are and a part of who your partner is. That being said, you must act in ways that honor your relationship, even when you are not with your spouse. You must always consider you marriage, and not do things that could endanger it in any way. Being faithful and true not only sexually speaking, but emotionally as well is also a must. Being faithful to the ideals of your marriage, and to the needs of your spouse is important as well. i could go on but this has become quite long and barely scratched the surface. I'm sure you will get a lot of great advice, I just covered a few of the topics I think others might not address.
1 person likes this
@Veagle (85)
• China
8 Nov 10
if you want to achieve a lifetime relationship you have to do such thing below: when she does something that make you unhappy,dont shout at her. when she are down,try to make her laugh. when she is happy,laugh with her. when she are angry,ask her why and then try to make her dont angry. when you are anger,dont flare your anger.
• Germany
10 Nov 10
@veagle: As soon as I read your response I wanted to visit your profile to learn your age. My gussing was right. you are 19. My husband was so when he was 19, not as ahusband but, as a lover. That was supper. I wish you to have a happy lovefull life.