could you help me about my life....

January 30, 2011 5:56am CST
I've been confuse on which will I choose from the two: love or studies My parents have been encouraging me to stay on track with my academics and establishing my life but the side effect out of it is that I tend to get lonesome, empty or having a feeling that a part of myself is still missing. Could you give me an advice, is love really the solutions to patch up my loneliness in life?
2 people like this
17 responses
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
30 Jan 11
I had that same problem when I was your age. I chose to sow my wild oats and find myself and stopped school. 20 years later I realized that if i was going to acheive me goals in life, I must finish school so i went back to school at the age of 43. My advice to you would be to sacrifice a little now so that you can have better rewards in your future. School is full of interesting and motivated people. Who knows, you may be able to fill that empty gap there. Personally, I think you will. Take a day and visit one of the colleges or universities your interested in and see for yourself just how many people of your age attend that may help to fill that lonliness.
1 person likes this
1 Feb 11
well it's kinda hard to fail because of wrong decisions at a crucial time, I'll follow what you've said and choose studies as my priority. A little sacrifice right now won't do much and you're right, sacrifice now and earn in the future. thanks for your advice, I highly appreciate it...
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
1 Feb 11
Your welcome. I asked a friend of mine once that was attending college while I was bumming around "how do you stand not being able to go to parties and hang out." He told me those words I conveyed to you about sacrifice. Today he has a Phd and is doing basically whatever he wants. His small sacrife paid off for him while my refusal to sacrifice took me in a very long detour in life.
@EdnaReyes (2624)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
If you're still in school and feel missing something, I guess it's time for you to assess your school life. Are you the type of student who don't mingle with other students? Are you the loner type? Do yo have friends whom you can share your thoughts, your activities, likes and hobby? Try to look around, if you find your self alone,then I think it's time for you to mix around and gather friends. Having them may fill the empty space within you! Try it!
1 person likes this
1 Feb 11
well I'm sort of a loner type of a student and I have only a handful of friends about 3 to 5 five of them I guess but I'll follow your advice and see what will happen. Thanks......
• United States
31 Jan 11
If you find someone you love and want to be with, then do not let them go. You can go to school and have a loved one too. I'm like you, right now I'm focusing on school. But I too find myself feeling extremely lonely too. I haven't found the right guy yet, but if I do no way am I going to let me studies stop me from pursuing a relationship with him. But you also shouldn't let a relationship ruin your studies, you still have to find the time to do your work and study! Good luck!
• Philippines
31 Jan 11
hello omar! your parents only want the best for you and that's for you to finish your studies first. It seems though that if you will not balance your studies with some little fun on the side, you would get bored and lonely. You could balance both. I was able to finish my studies and still come out in the top 5% of my class and still able to hang out with friends. I was able to balance things, serious in my studies yet able to squeeze in some clean fun with friends. Getting serious in any relationship at this time, is not really advisable coz you will miss out on all the fun of getting to know other people. Potential people who might be great lifetime partners in the future. For the meantime, you should just focus on studies and some little fun while you're young. Time for some serious stuff like love, will come later, when you're more matured and ready for it.
31 Jan 11
I think that you should prioritize your studies. You could love somebody at the same time but we should always have a goal in life and that is to finish our education so that when the time comes for us to raise a family we at least have an option to find a good paying job to support our family.
@tiffnkeat (1673)
• Singapore
31 Jan 11
Without knowing your age or where you come from, it is difficult to dish out proper advice. Advice has to be given in context. If you are say 20 years old, then please, go and study. Love and wait. If you are 35 year old, maybe get married first. Study can wait.
@bird123 (10548)
• United States
30 Jan 11
Hmmmm??? I don't understand why you can't do both. Stay on track with building your foundation with academics. Won't life be better with a good foundation??? You bet! When you take a break from your studies, look for love. You might just find a love who will help you with your studies. A study partner would be ideal. Even finding just a study friend might help you out until true love knocks on your door.
@Cutie18f (9557)
• Philippines
31 Jan 11
Loneliness is just a feeling that you cause yourself to feel. Of course, you cannot eat love in the future. You can't cook love in the future. You need to prepare yourself for the future. You don't want to depend on other people or become unproductive when the time comes. You want to be independent and productive. So, give priority to your studies first. Love will always be there. You will find loads of it after studying. Forget about loneliness. It is just a state of mind.
@ruthsm (222)
• Thailand
30 Jan 11
Yes, I would say that its love that you need to solve the loneliness in life. BUT love is not only translated by having a relationship with an opposite gender. Make friends, get involved in social club or humanitarian activities, spend more time with family, develop your spiritual life and get closer to God. I'm sure these will fill all the emptiness you're feeling right now. I hope you consider your schooling more important at this time. This will later give you more chances on enjoying the "LOVE" that you have in mind now. Be patient, you'll get there sooner than you think! Do I sound like your mom here? Peace!
@slayer23 (35)
• Philippines
31 Jan 11
well, not necessarily. it's just a state of mind. you don't have to look for love. but in case you already have, you could always have both things, love and study. it's just a state of mind omarkiller1. just keep yourself busy.
• United States
31 Jan 11
I feel the exact same way! I cannot say how much I hate school. High School was the worst for me. If it's anything after high school I say follow what you feel but also be realistic about your future and think it through. If it's high school then I have to say you need to get that done with. I suffered through high school, I can't say how much, but I got through it. If it is high school or even middle school then I say if your stuck in that situation, just fill your love with a love. Spend time with your family, and whatever else you love. For me thats my family, TV, movies, and music.
@aris76 (13)
• Indonesia
31 Jan 11
I think U could walk on the two choices, love N' study, because love could encourage U to finish Ur study. Love will spirit Ur life N' make Ur life more valuable.
@moirai (2843)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
This is a hard question... love or studies? I guess I'm one of those people who grew up believing that one should have a good foundation in terms of education. There are a lot of people around who have succeeded mainly because they have worked hard developing themselves through their studies. At the same time, I am not discounting the fact that there are also a lot of people out there who have succeeded even though they were not able to finish their studies. These are people who were able to develop themselves through other ways. Now what about love? Personally, I think love is something that just comes to us. It is not something that we search for actively. It just happens, in its own time. If I were in your place, I think what I would do is just continue to try to develop myself through studying. Then if or when love comes, I will try to find a balance between the two. I hope you'll be able to figure out what's best for you. Good luck! =)
@89986128 (33)
• China
31 Jan 11
certainly not if u feel lonely u can go to some of ur friends' to have a chat with he or she to patch up ur loneliness ,u can also to gossip with ur parents when u feel lonely . something more i want to tell u that love is not the way u patch up ur loneliness ,love is that when u want to stay with a person ,u want to see after he or she ,it is simply not to patch up ur loneliness in life .if u love for wearing down time ,u r wrong ,that's all
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
30 Jan 11
I truly hope that you will stay on track, omarkiller....and complete your studies, and set forth a career path! Having a good education, good moral standards will serve you well in life...they are something that will propell you thru life...and happiness will follow! I think you will also find, that you will be less lonely when you are secure within yourself! You can base your life on a good education, but LOVE is never a sure thing! Learn to love yourself, and the beauty around you, and often things just fall into place. Take care!
• Italy
30 Jan 11
To be honest I don't think that love is the solution, instead I think, or at least that's what I would do if I was in you, I'd look for friends rather than a boyfriend/girlfriend. Love is going to keep you busier than you need, while studying will give you a future, love will give you nothing but nice feelings. So I'd look for nice friends to hang around and have a lot of fun, but still making time for your future.
• Thailand
30 Jan 11
you should study first and find other hobby. you can always find love when you finish studying or when you get a bit older. you doesnt seem appropriate studying with quite some age already. after your studies you can just find love . remember love is everywhere