Ticked at my Neighbor Part 2.
By ANTIQUELADY
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
United States
February 9, 2011 5:42pm CST
some of u will remember part one i'm sure so this is the end of the story. I waited 2 days to say something to her so i would not act too ugly. I wrote her a note not to be a coward but didn't want what happened to happen but i should have known it would. She copped an attitude w/me by email actually trying to blame me for letting her grandson bring the toy to her house. Guess she forgot he had been doing that all his life. I told her in the note her grandson was welcome to come here anytime but he would not be allowed to take any toys away from here again & that he needed to learn what no meant. I think that's what ticked her off , oh well might as well let her join me, right?She promised that the gun was being brought back the weekend from nashville but guess what?? Haven't seen a sign of it. She informed me that he would not be allowed to ever come here again & that she would be bringing all my grandson's toys home that hers had been playing with ever since he's been big enough to play. when mine would outgrow something i would carry them to her house for hers to play with.She is punishing hers for something she did. I don't think he will understand why he can't come here anymore. do u??
7 people like this
20 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Hey AL~ Don't even try to let her turn this around on you because
that is exactly what she is trying to do! She is trying to make
it seem like it is "your" fault when all you were trying to do
is be nice to her grandson! It isn't worth your getting
upset about. She isn't going to admit that she was wrong, which
she was and she isn't going to make her grandson return the
toy! How you decide to deal with her from this point on is up
to you. It isn't going to be an easy decision, but she is the
one who put the friendship in jeopardy when she allowed her
grandson to keep the toy!
3 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Hi Opal, u are so right that's exactly what she did. I hate it happened for more reasons than one but it did & seems my friendship didn't mean a thing to her. That is a hurtful thing to find out after so many years, thanks for responding. Hope all is well w/u.
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Well, now you know why the child can not be taught what he can and can not do. The adults don't know what to do either. They have yet to grow up
The child will not be taught to understand because
the adult does not...
I hope you wrote back telling her it is not needed for her to give back toys that were "given" to him!!! She is taking things way too far. She is a person that blows things out of proportion. It's sad because you know she has messed up many relationships this way, not just yours and hers.
Move one from this and know you did nothing wrong, not at all. She did.
Her blowing up like this is her way of trying to make you feel guilty for doing nothing. She is trying to make you give in to her and her grandson.
I recommend that you do not do this!
The child will not be taught to understand because the adult does not...
I hope you wrote back telling her it is not needed for her to give back toys that were "given" to him!!! She is taking things way too far. She is a person that blows things out of proportion. It's sad because you know she has messed up many relationships this way, not just yours and hers.
Move one from this and know you did nothing wrong, not at all. She did.
Her blowing up like this is her way of trying to make you feel guilty for doing nothing. She is trying to make you give in to her and her grandson.
I recommend that you do not do this! 2 people like this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
10 Feb 11
I goofed. I meant move on from this...
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Some times we find out things in strange ways about people ....
I'm getting better in small steps. Thank you for asking...
Have a good day dear...
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Good morning & thanks for responding. I did tell her that i did not know why she even brought the other toys up. I just hate she is going to keep him from coming over here & know he will not understnad because he loves to come & i am very fond of him. I think u hit the nail on the head. The only way i will talk to her is if she calls me. I have had enough of her, believe me & have seen a side of her i had not seen before in the 20 years i have lived here. I hate to lose what i thought was a good friend but think i was wrong about that to. Hope things are good w/u today.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
10 Feb 11
Hmmm....yes, I don't think he will understand why he can't come over. Seeing how she is reacting, I'm sure she would order him not to go over or say that you have banned him from coming over. He also will not learn that he isn't allowed to take the toys belonging to others back home.
If that was my son, I would have talked to him and told him what happened and that he was allowed to play but not bring back toys and if he did it again....the toys would be returned immediately. It might take a while for the child to get the picture, but being consistent and returning the toys a couple of times would have done the trick.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
I know he want understand & that bothers me alot. He loves coming here. She is just making it hard on him for her doing wrong. Thanks for responding.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Thanks for responding ,Zandi. Seems like that is all i can do but i do hate to see the little one kept from coming here when he loved to so much. Hope everything is going your way.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Thanks to both of u. I guess the little boy gets his tantrums from her. I knew her husband had them but never thought about her acting this way. PEOPLE, PEOPLE
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Feb 11
I certainly do understand. This is very sad. It sounds like you have interacted with these people for many years. She is in DENIAL! She doesn't want to realize or own up to the fact that she needs to do some parenting and doesn't have the skills to do it. And she is acting immaturely to say she will just bring all the toys back and not let the kids come over anymore. How silly! Too bad people have to be so self-righteous and not take responsibility.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
good morning, thanks for responding. It has been very sad to me that this turned out the way it did. guess i shouldn't have said anything but felt as if she had no feelings for my grandson when she did what she did.I never have liked ANYONE MISTRATING MY KIDS & SURE DON'T LIKE MY GRANDSON TO BE MISTREATED. tHAT'S TIME FOR A FIGHT, LOL.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
12 Feb 11
So true, i would never have thought she would have acted this way. Guess her true colors come out when she was crossed. The little one has always liked to come over here. I'm sure it was my grandson's toys but do think he's fond of me to. Why should she have to buy toys at her house until now of course. HE'S BEEN PLAYING W/RYAN'S TOYS ALL HIS LIFE.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189820)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Feb 11
Sometimes it takes something like this to learn who people really are. Ofcourse you should have said something. You can't just let people walk all over you. Why doesn't she get her own family toys anyway? Why does he feel a need to always come over to your place? Yes, that is the time for a fight.
1 person likes this
@Christmas2006 (1661)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Its hard to blame the child with the role models he has setting the examples. I think under the circumstances that she probably will not be truthful with the boy about why he can't come to your house so he may be satisfied with her answer. I had renters with 2 little girls and I ended up evicting them because they would not pay the rent, those little girls loved me but after I evicted them, they wouldn't even speak to me, they were to young to understand the circumstances and I have no idea what the parents told them, I am sure it wasn't we lost our house because we didn't pay the rent! Can I add almost a years worth of rent to that!!!
It's really sad when you have "ruffles" with the neighbors! been there done that, usually it was after my feathers were 'plucked' but somehow I always ended up the 'bad person' for what I did, which was finally standing up for my self!
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
It's a shame the examples that adults set for their kids. She was the same way by her son. She got mad at the people he did wrong when he was a teen. I don't think the little one will understand why he can't come over here anymore. Shame on her for punishing him. thanks for responding.
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
10 Feb 11
The very first time it is convenient for her to have him come play at your house, he will be there.She has not been able to enforce normal rules, so why would she be able to make this one stick either? The little boy would not understand if things were told truthfully to him, but she will try to tell him something he will believe and accept.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Hi GG, Thanks for responding. The little one is welcome here anytime & i told her that in my note to start with. He will not understand why he can't come, i know that. Have a good one.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
PEOPLE never cease to amaze me w/the crap they pull. thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Your neighbor is acting so very childish, Antique. All she needed to do was appologize for letting him take the toy home and then bring the toy back. Just because you were kind enough to let him bring the toy to her house does not mean he gets to keep it. She should have seen to it that he brought it back to begin with. To bring back toys that were given to him and ban him from visiting your house is going to needlessly punish him and no, he won't understand at all. He will probably think that you don't want him around.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
11 Feb 11
Hi Antique,
All is great in my world. Ya know, I was thinking about this. I forget how old that little boy is but I think that the next time he was over, I'd make a point of speaking to him if I saw him outside playing and make it clear that it isn't YOU that doesn't want him over. It's definitly the grandmother's fault here. I've raised kids and I have grandkids. It is natural for kids to want to keep other kids toys. It's up to us adults to teach them about these things. If he pitched a fit...so what...just make him return the toy. She didn't. Actually, I'd probably print off both discussions and put them in her mail box.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Thanks for responding, Sid. She is acting very ugly to punish that little boy for something she did. I just don't understand people acting like 2 year olds themselves. Hope all iw well w/u.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
12 Feb 11
He will be 4 his birthday. Good idea, if i had a printer i would, lol. I never blamed the little one. They do have to be taught right from wrong. He's not being. Glad everything is good w/u.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
20 Feb 11
I'm so glad you stood up to her regardless of how you did it, you did. She needed to be told and because she got upset about it, that tells me she already knew what she did was wrong, she didn't like being called upon it but that's too damned bad. Her grandson took something that didn't belong to him without permission and that's not right. As for her grandson, she'll have to do the explaining to him, not you. You did nothing wrong. As for her attitude, she'll get over it. If she can't get over it then she'll get under it.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Good morning, Cats. I really hate that she copped the attitude she did but she is in the wrong about this. U never know who your friends are. It's very sad to me to lose what i thought was a good friend but guess i was wrong about her to start with.
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
10 Feb 11
Nope, he won't and how sad is that, because when he asks, YOU are the one that's going to be blamed. Some parents/grandparents just don't 'get it', that their little angels can have horns and the result is those little angels growing up with a false sense of entitlement and a poor moral base. Stay strong Jo, and don't let this woman's bullying or negativity get to you. As for your own grandson.......he's going to wonder why his friend can no longer visit, and in your shoes, I would tell him the truth so he understands that it's not his friends fault totally, and that yes indeed, adults (not you in this case) can be wrong and unfair, and unfortunately, that's life.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
10 Feb 11
Some adults like your neighbour just need to give their heads a shake at times, you know?
As for 'bothering' me with emails. JO! BOTHER ME! It's never a bother to get emails from my friends. Ok?.......Ok!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Glad to hear from u, sparks, how's hubs. Didn't want to aggravate u w/emails but have been wondering. U can't blame the child & i don't. I told her in the note that he was welcome to come anytime but that he would not be allowed to take any more toys away from here. It had rfeally bothered me that it's all turned out this way. It want bother ryan as much as it will me because they were very seldom here at the same time. I just know hers will not understand why he can't come here anymore. Thanks for responding. Take care.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
10 Feb 11
She is certianly being over dramatic, sad to say. I'm sorry you had to lose a friend over this issue, and I'm sorry she can't see that what she did and is still doing is wrong!
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Sure seems that way. Hopefully in time she'll cool off and see that she's being a brat and get over it and things can go back to normal.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
12 Feb 11
U know i don't see that happening, not sure i'd want it to.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Thanks for responding.I really hate this happened & wish it hadn't. I can't stand for adults to act like 2 year old & that's what she is doing in my opinion.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Good morning, thanks for responding. I really hate this has happened. We have been friends & neighbors a long time but i did not appreciate what she did on my grandson's account. U don't mess w/my kids. Both my sons are grown but i would take up for them in a minute if they were being mistreated by anyone.
@BarBaraPrz (51811)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
10 Feb 11
Some peoples' noses get so far out of joint that they can't see past them...
Your neighbor is being extremely immature, especially considering she's a grandmother and should know better.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Hi Barb, thanks for your response. It's a bad situation & i hate it happened but i didn't start it she did by allowing her grandson take something 300 miles away to his home. That was not her place to do that.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
11 Feb 11
Thanks for responding, Dawn.I wish it had been that easy.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
10 Feb 11
There are people who must always blame someone else for their mistakes.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Hi Bellis, u are sooooo right. I have never had a problem admitting i was wrong but know alot of people do. Thanks for responding.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
10 Feb 11
this woman is a real nut case. to bad her grandchild is learning such bad things from her as stealing, etc. she will see some day and regret not taking your advice. 
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
11 Feb 11
hI bON, Thanks for respoding. She has sure has surprised me acting the way she has. I thought we were good friens.Go figure.
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
17 Feb 11
Hi ANTIQUELADY
I really don't think he will understand but that is down to her to explain to him not you and that is her problem. I feel sorry for the poor little fella because he doesn't know that he has done anything wrong. It is a shame that you guys will have this come between you now and over some silly little thing that she did!
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
18 Feb 11
gOOD mORNING & thanks for responding. It is a shame that she's acted the way she has. I hate it but it's her choice toact like this. I just hate it for the little one because he loved coming over here. Happy weekend to u.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
12 Feb 11
hE WILL BE 4 HIS BIRTHDAY. i KNOW HE WANT & I THINK SHE'S BEING AN a** for telling him this. Thanks for responding.
