new friend is crazy
By savypat
@savypat (20216)
United States
March 4, 2011 1:38pm CST
I got a new friend and we started to get together to shop and go to lunch, we met at the gymn and seemed to hit it off. But then the warning signs showed up, she was wealthy and wanted to buy me everything, I wanted to get to know her as a woman
and a intersting person. So I insisted I pay my own way, pretty soon she started to accuse me of saying bad things about her. That stopped it right there, I don't talk about people like that and I only wanted friendship, not her money. But this left me feeling very bad, I really wanted to know her and do things that women friends do but when a misunderstanding takes place that soon in a relationship, I just don't have time or inclination to continue. I guess I'm just more of a loner.
2 people like this
18 responses
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
4 Mar 11
You know, some people are just jealous even though they have money. Money isn't everything. Maybe she was jealous of you because you are a real down to earth person and lives your life the way you see fit. Maybe she can't be the person you are and acts out in stupid ways. I believe that all rich people should live like poor people for awhile to get some self respect and know what it's like to have to work for something. That way they will learn appreciation. Don't get upset and don't change who you are.
@Nadinest1 (2016)
• Canada
2 Apr 11
When you have a true friend....there isn't any crap. Accepts you for who you are, happy to be with you and will help you out any way they can. This stuff about you saying bad things about her....is all drama...you don't need these kind of friends. There are others out there.
Be happy with who you are...I am more of a loner myself as well.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
5 Mar 11
Now that's one person you should stay away from. It is sad losing a friend just because of a total nonsense but you can still find more people who are nicer and more stable psychologically.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
7 Mar 11
I don't think that you should make one bad experience sour it all for you. There are some people that get jealous for reasons that we just don't understand. When we notice that this is a trait that a person that we were trying to build a friendship with has this kind of a trait, then that is probably not a person that we need to have a relationship with. This doesn't, however, mean that you can't have a friendship with someone else.
1 person likes this
@polaris77 (2040)
• Bacau, Romania
5 Mar 11
It's a pity that you were deceived in your expectations of finding a true friend and I'm sure it really hurt you to see that the person you thought would be your best friend behaved in such a crazy manner,but I don't think you should accept the idea that you're more of a loner;I think that if you keep on searching you will eventually find at least one true and reliable friend.
1 person likes this
@aprilten (1966)
• Philippines
5 Mar 11
I guess your new friend is so used to 'buying friends' and became confused when you didn't want her to buy things for you. So she probably wanted out. And the way for her to do it is to turn you off by making stories about you. If I were in you place I will distance myself from her. I don't think she's going to be a good friend after all.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
5 Mar 11
She obviously has a problem with her ego and needs to be able to give. Without giving, she is insecure and imagines that you don't like her enough to let her buy you things then she starts thinking you don't like her and imagines you're talking behind her back.
People like this are sad. All their self esteem is tied into their wealth. Without being able to show how wealthy they are they feel there is no friendship. It's very sad.
You were right to stop the friendship but it's such a sad story. I feel sorry for the woman.
1 person likes this
@absolutevision (19)
• Malaysia
5 Mar 11
I've noticed that rich people generally feel slighted when their gifts are rejected. They cannot understand that a person could be embarrassed to receive such expensive gifts and be concerned that we may not be able to afford to pay in kind when it is our turn.
Money means nothing to them as they have ample and they do not place that much importance in it. Regretfully, sometimes in their need to be sensitive to our budget they step all over our pride by wanting to pay for our share.
The painful part is that they cannot walk in our circle but would rather we walk in their cirle. And they have no compulsion about ensuring they remain in their circle i.e. if they like your company and they think it would strain your wallet, they'll just insist they pay.
I've got a friend that's just like that and we have had many a quarrels. But I guess all those heated arguments about with her helped me understand a little better how she feels on her side as well.
So now, I feel a little better when I accept her generosity as I think of it as me doing her a favour.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
5 Mar 11
She has probably not had anyone that has denied her offerings. Some people don't know any other way than to buy what they want. It might have made her question herself to the point that she was paranoid. It's a shame that she acted that way and cost herself more than that money could buy. I sometimes feel like I am more of a loner too.
1 person likes this
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
5 Mar 11
hi there.
maybe she was just so used of doing that to some of her friends and that when you refuse to accept her gifts, she was kind of offended and started thinking that you are some kind of against her and what she is doing. but we just have to be more open - minded and be more understanding. she is probably brought up like that and there are just so many other things that she hasn't realized yet, so are we, we all have our own differences and we are all not perfect. it's okay, you just wanted to get to know her even more and you just wanted to make friends but if she takes that negatively then it is still okay, it's not like you're going to lose something if she doesn't like it that way.
1 person likes this
@hieuhanh (96)
• Vietnam
5 Mar 11
I have a friend , we together in 3 years , I believe her so much , but finally , I find out that she very selfishness and not loyalty ..
I mean that you shouldn't so believe at anyone , just believe yourself . Don't talk to anyone all about youself...
Be carefully :-) don't worry , just thing this is a lesson for you , you will more comfortable .
Have fun !
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160097)
• United States
4 Mar 11
Pat, I just think you are reserved and cautious, and that is okay. You know your own value as a person and you are not going to be bought and people do not have to pay you for your friendship. I hope you can eventually connect with someone who is friendly but does not have a hidden agenda.
1 person likes this
@webearn99 (1742)
• India
5 Mar 11
She's just being a woman and a human. Some people are introvert and some are not! She seems to be a person with a lot of emotional baggage. You are better off without her. Your caution does not make you a loner, it will reward you with what you want, You only need to overlook some things in a person who you like. After all friends are not really made to order.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
4 Mar 11
Sometimes with new people we do have to be a bit careful because we are not sure what their personality and or character is like. I don't blame you for stopping it right there because you were simply being courteous and not trying to use her.
She should have been grateful really as some people would have jumped on the chance and actually use her for her generosity. I think it is okay to be a bit reserved with new people until you get to know them.
I don't feel that you have done anything wrong here.
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
5 Mar 11
Well i am also somewhat like that lady in your story. But i am not that bad. I always cough up the money for me and my friends whenever we are out together. I love being with friends all the time and i don't mind at all paying the money. But it was really mean of her to say such things even though you didn't. It's a good thing that you stayed away from her now.
Cheers!
1 person likes this