Near miss today.........

@celticeagle (158934)
Boise, Idaho
March 22, 2011 6:41pm CST
while I was sleeping. My daughter has a guy friend that is a real interesting character. A neighbor introduced the two of them about five years ago. They became a couple and he even moved in here for a few months. He got physical with my grandson I had words with him when I found out about it and he was soon out of here. My daughter has quit seeing him and gotten back with him several times over the last few years. He wasin the military and has shrapnel in his back close to his back they can't get out so he has alot of back problems. he fell off a hotel building downtown when he was in his twenties, is lucky to have any brains although I sometimes wonder if they didn't get them all back in his head. Well, this fellow has come back into the ranks again and is here nearly 24/7. Ugh! They are 'just friends'. Okay, so this morning I am awakened by my daughter yelling to him that 'they' are here. So I listen and EMT's come in and take him away. I find out later in the day from my daughter that his pulse got down to 38 or so and his arm was numb. So heres the queerie. I don't care for the guy since he hit my grandson. I am glad(?) my daughter can forgive such things but I cannot. I hold a grudge when it comes to people hurting my kids. But for whatever reason she keeps letting him back in her life. So, what if he passed on today? I would feel bad for him and for my grandson who has bonded with him now and my daughter. And I would feel badly that a humanbeing has passed. Normal right? But, I would also feel relieved. Hey, I feel it is a grandmothers/mother right. Heartless? Honest? Your thoughts.
4 people like this
14 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
23 Mar 11
I think u have every right to feel as u do. U are like me. I don't want anybody being mean to my kids & even tho they are grown i'd still feel that way. Messing w/my grandchildren might bring on a war, lol.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
24 Mar 11
I feel the very same way. hOPE U HAVE A GREAT THURS. JO
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 11
Ya, I have never forgiven him for that. And 'my kids' include my grandkids because I have been such a part of raising them.
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
that guy is such a tough guy to survive all the terrible accident he'd encountered. dying of a person though doesn't end the problem neither solve it, if your daughter allowed him to come back ove and over to her life there must have been something with this guy or less your daughter won't accept him over and over again, there must be something your daughter sees in him that maybe you couldn't see all you saw is that he hit your grandson which was definitely maybe his son and there's no problem about that he's the father and he has all the authority with his child more than you do, i'm not saying i'm agaisnt you but maybe you should seek for the both part i mean you and this guy, and why your daughter loved him so much
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Mar 11
It is a long story why she goes back to him and all. He follows her around like a puppydog. Sorta weird situation. He is tough. But I doubt he is long for this world.
• Malaysia
23 Mar 11
Well said, xien2xien! I believe every problem must be solved by seeing in all perspectives, and not from one perspective only...If the guy her daughter loved so much is indeed the boy's father, then I believe it is no wrong for him to hit his son provided that he did that in order to teach him how to behave... Nevertheless, I also believed that she is not guilty for hating him because indeed he hurt her grandchild...No grandmother in this world will let anybody hit her grandchild severely (assuming he hit the boy severely), not even his own father let alone strangers...It is granny's love after all...
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
28 Mar 11
hey you feel the way you feel cant be helped and I would say if he pied you would fell some sadness
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Mar 11
That I would. And luckily, for now, he didn't.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Mar 11
You have every right to be pissed and unforgiving about such a thing...
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Mar 11
I think so. I just felt bad on a human to human basis.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
23 Mar 11
No, I don't think you're heartless. I think you cared just enough - like you would about finding out that any human being passed on.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Mar 11
I wouldn't think so.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
26 Mar 11
I can understand why you don't want this guy in your family's life. I don't think it's heartless. I think that when we feel helpless that sometimes our mind wanders to the possibility of. That's all. It may seem heartless if you ponder on it too long but it is normal to wish the darker things out of your life.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Mar 11
Very understand of you. I do tend to over think things.
@GardenGerty (157546)
• United States
23 Mar 11
I think it would be normal to be relieved. I imagine that even though he has bonded with your grandson, part of you is always waiting for him to flip out and hurt someone again. I hope this scare has been helpful in getting him some care. I honestly can think of some people that I might feel relieved when they were gone. You are honest, but that is okay.
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Mar 11
Yes, just being honest. Sometimes I feel bad. Taking it a day at a time.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Mar 11
im terrible. sometimes i will forgive people for some awful things. But at least you are honest and i know most people never forgive certain things with their family. i might feel relieved though from being uncomfortable that hes around.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 11
True. Ya, I can forgive alot done to me but not to my family.
@webearn99 (1742)
• India
23 Mar 11
A bag of mixed feelings. Life's like that! Heartless? NO! Honest? Possible! Human? Yes!
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
I think how you're feeling is normal. I don't have kids but I have a kid brother who's young enough to be my son, and whoever hurts my brother really really gets on my bad side. Of course you should learn how to accept the guy (I know you already did) for the sake of your daughter. There's what we call here BV (short for bad vibes) wherein, no matter what you do, or what the other person is doing, that person just annoys the crap out of you.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 11
BV for sures. And 'the creeps'.
• United States
23 Mar 11
It is hard to care about someone who causes pain. Especially if they are not willing to accept/admit their wrong. I perhaps can forgive but not really forget. He is lucky that you just got him out of there some actually would get physical for hurting their grandchild. I would say things happen, hope he is okay and if he is okay he can someday realize that life is precious. To hurt a child is unforgivable, in my eyes really.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 11
Yes, things happen and I just live day by day. As long as nothing new happens (and he has said it wont), so we move on. He was okay and we will see what happens.
@livecenter (1136)
• Malaysia
23 Mar 11
I don't think that makes you heartless...Being heartless and being honest are two different things...He did not earn your love, and more he hurts your grandson...If he is going to be a good husband to your daughter, he wouldn't have do that...Nevertheless, it is your personal right to hate others, but do hate them with some sense of humanity...
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Mar 11
I did and that is why I was double thinking myself.
• United States
23 Mar 11
You could have cared for him more, but you were fine like you were. You did what you feel is right and that is what should matter
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 11
Why? Thanks.
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
IF you dont feel anything if he passed away today i think thats normal since you dont like the guy in the first place because of what he did to your grandson. This guy sounds trouble and your daughter should consider not to let him in her life again after this.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158934)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 11
It was several years ago, he hasn't done anything since, and she has forgiven him and so has Josh so I just live day to day.