Ever think that mylot can be a stress buster and a place to dump our woes?

@Hatley (164094)
Garden Grove, California
April 8, 2011 10:38pm CST
I was responding to a discussion in which the person was absolutely overwhelmed by his or her job, domestic issues, being away from family and financial problems. I just realized, anyway this is how I thought, we often come to mylot instead of paying money to go to a mental health clinic. we find help to relax and suggestions on how to solve so many of the problems life throws at us, we find friends who offer good advice and sympathy and suggestions we might not have thought of for ourselves. Am I right or wrong, your take my fellow mylotters.
17 people like this
37 responses
@stephcjh (38808)
• United States
9 Apr 11
Oh yeah. I am sure it is for alot of people. I think it really helps alot of people here too. I try not to tell my problems to others in Mylot anymore though. I just try to deal with them myself. I am willing to be there or help others though.
4 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi stephcjh havent seen you for awhile. I know some are reluctant to tell their problems on here as they feel they do not know who they really are talking to and that I can also understand. with me I built up my mylot friends list from scratch . I feel now that I have got to know my closest friends here and have learned to trust and to share. I love feeling that I can help my friends too whenever needed.
@Gothicana (458)
• United States
9 Apr 11
You are totally right.I found a lot of help here and got good friends. But it makes more fun when someone post me back and tells me that i could help him or her
4 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi Gothicana right as its that back and forth that makes it fun for all of us. I also love it when someone posts back to me and telles my that I did help them. I have made so many friends and have enjoyed discussing back and forth, it keeps me happy and feeling young again. I can relax here unlike on other sites' where there is back biting and snippy replies
• United States
9 Apr 11
Indeed Miss Hatley - Don't ever forget that I stuck around because of your sweet and endearing words to me. I was at my wits end when you entered my discussion and made me re-think, re-consider and re-live again! I will be eternally grateful for your humble words you placed that day that I find totally priceless. You will be happy to know that since that day you left me those wonderful words I strive on a daily basis here on myLot to pay it forward. Because of you Miss Hatley I have been able to help the many with my own sweet humble words such as the one ones you left for me.
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi hardworkinggurl Glad that I could help and reminding you its Mrs. Hatley I am a widow for many years. I am always happy when I have helped someone else as I have been helped here too.Pay it forward is what everyone should do and its really easy on mylot to do just that. Someone helps me then I pass it on to someone else and the world becomes a bit nicer all around. Good karma is like bad, it comes back to warm you and hep you while the bad you do just comes round and bites you in the butt. lol lol lol
• United States
9 Apr 11
I will remember to use the Mrs. I like using the Miss because in my heart I find you to be such a sweet young lady and quite the lady indeed!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
oh boy you just made my day lol. thanks for the sweet words. I try to act young and that makes me feel young but today my knee was hurting due I think to the odd cold weather we are having here in socalled sunny Southern California. brr. got up to a whole fifty and its April 9th already. April is supposed to be spring like not brrrr. It does look like more rain again as if we needed anymore. for the first time in years the weather people say we h ave excess water now. so ma ybe we will luck out this fall and not have those wild fires. lol also now in April we are having chilly winds. go figure.
@saphrina (31650)
• South Africa
9 Apr 11
Hi sweetie. Mylot really is a stress buster. Here we have a lot of different people who go thru the same as we do. We are all the same, so much better to get advice from our friends here. Or just even someone just to hear our rants for a change.
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi saphrina yes I can always get rid of what was stressing me out when I come on to mylot. sometimes just sharing what is troubling me can relieve so much ups et and let me handle it with insight. sometimes just one person will bring u p the best solution to a problem and you will be going" wow" why did I not think of that. Yes despite all of us being from all over the world, we are all fellow humans with much the same problems so we will know that someone here on mylot can give us advice that will solve out problems. just sharing at times it such a help and may be all that we really need to do. ..
@voldrox (7200)
• India
9 Apr 11
Hello Hatley, That is one of the best things about this place. It helps so much. Instead of paying money we get paid. There are so many nice people out here who are going to listen and help. This place works so much like a stress buster, yes. It is so good to have such nice friends here, even feels good to help others.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi voldrox if I am not mistaken not too long ago I saw you offering some excellent advice to a fellow mylotter in a discussion I had also responded to.I have enjoyed helping others and specially if someone posts back and thanks me for helping solve some problem for them. I myself have often been helped by advice given by a concerned fellow mylotter. And I never had to go to an expensive mental health clinic either.Yes its wonderful to have such nice friends on mylot.
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7200)
• India
10 Apr 11
Hello again Hatley Yes, maybe Hatley, but i don't remember it well, hehe. I enjoy helping others too, and i am sure you do too. At some point of time we do feel little helpless and at such times it is so nice to come here and listen to what others have to say. Some people have already been where we are now and they can share so much with us, even make us feel comfortable. I appreciate your responses and i love to read them. Yes, those mental clinic centers must be expensive.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Apr 11
hi voldrox yes I am sure they aree and I think mylot does a pretty fair job of filling in for minor and some major problems. of course we will'not take the place of anyone's family doctor but other woes we can help and be helped too.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Apr 11
Hi Hatley -- I've posted discussions about personal problems in the past and think of myLot as Therapy 101. Like you said, myLotters responded with advice, suggestions and support. This is probably the biggest group therapy in the world!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi joyceshooery yes that is really it, therapy 101 without any charges and with lots of help and friendly advixe. Never thought of it but yes it is group therapy of a sort and a bonus of having fun and getting enjoyment along with all the rest. I know I often come here when I am stressed out and read my friend's discussions and realize I am not alone in feeling pressure.also I realize that compared to others problems, mine are not all that bad either.
• India
9 Apr 11
joyceshookery nice response friend mylot is the biggest group therapy in the World. I like your response but this is not my discussion so I can rated it or not I not known but I like it.
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi surekharathi yes she had a great response and just find one of her discussions and give her a plus on that. okay.lol lol
@bunnybon7 (47130)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Apr 11
you are right. and i was just reading earlier that socializing with others keeps your mind alert. from aging and all that. that is another thing it does here. i cant socialize with others most of the time except here.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (47130)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Apr 11
finally its letting me post here. for hours it wouldnt.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (124708)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Apr 11
Cheap counselor I'd say. I like getting different peoples take on my situation. That aspect is always good for me. You are right about each item you listed. I think it is very healthy and I don't know what I ever did with out before I found this site. I wish I could remember how I found out about this site. I have never been the same since. lol
@celticeagle (124708)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Apr 11
I wish I could remember how I came upon Mylot. I find it very thereuputic.
@dorannmwin (36634)
• United States
11 Apr 11
I believe that you are definitely onto something here. I originally came to mylot as a way of earning some money. However, as I started to spend more time on the site, I found that regardless of the fact that I was earning a little bit of money for the participation that I take part in on the site, being on mylot actually fills a much greater need for me. It is the missing element of adult interaction that I find is fulfilled based on my time on mylot.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Apr 11
hi dorannmwin thats really how I feel too. I can type and in a few moments meet my mylot friends here.I can respond to my friends who are having problems and share withthem and even help. and I have such a wealth of advice from all of you. here I only have ] a few friends who can understand me as many here are senile or have other mental problems . those I do try to help but I sure will not burden them with any of my own problems. Its the back and forth of adult conversation only on the net instead of over the back fence. And I also have found so much more than earnings.Like you say its the adult interaction that I also miss. more or less stuck here by my painful knee I find that interaction right here.
1 person likes this
@Nadinest1 (2021)
• Canada
11 Apr 11
You are so right. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only person feeling this way about something, so I post on Mylot. Just looking at the number of topics here on Mylot, we can see that there is every aspect of people's lives. When something is going bad, write on Mylot, when you are happy, write on Mylot...when you have a concern, write on Mylot. It doesn't matter....come here and find your answers. We are all friends and are here to help.....just like therapy.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Apr 11
hi Nadinest1 you have put it in a nutshell. but seeing above I am hoping others do not feel that by shareing our problems we are just being drama queens as thats not how I look at our discussions that open up to share our good and bad feelings. therapy wants us to share both good and bad and that was how I was looking at mylot as a place of getting emotional therapy.Not a place for boxing or prize fighting, just friends sharing and caring and even earning a bit.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29146)
• United States
10 Apr 11
Hi. Hatley. Yes, myLot is a great stress buster. It is a great place to for us to vent about our issues that we may go through in life. We also can heal from any hurt and pain that we are experiencing. It always helps to talk about a problem, instead of holding it in. I am one to know this! I love writing because it relieves my sadness, stress, irritation and frustrations. I get many comments that are relevant to my situation and I feel good afterward too. As we help others with their issues, we help ourselves. Hatley, you have most definitely helped me for three years on myLot. I have been so depressed at times and your words of encouragement and love has helped me through. I may be stubborn about taking your advice, but you can never forget that I always take heed to your advice. I wanted to personally thank you for being a great friend. I don't have as many true friends that I can say are. You are a wonderful person and you have solved many of my dilemmas that I have been dealing with in my life that is outside of myLot. I love you so much for that. I am still dealing with many issues, and I know that I can always find a true and real friend in you!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Apr 11
hi cream I am deeply touched and want to say thank you, dear friend. I am glad that I have been able to help you.I know your responses to my discussions have also been most helpful. I do so value all my mylot friends and always hope to be able to help you as needed and as I have been helped here.its also good to come here and know that instead of thinking I am alone in some problems, others also share these. That makes me realize I am with friends here' always.
• United States
10 Apr 11
Oh I find that it really helps to unload on here. We have so many family issues and I cannot speak about them to people we know, I just feel like if I do I am gossiping because everyone knows them. Here I can vent about what ever it is. Get advice, support and kind words when I need it without the fear of being a gossipy B*tch. I am thankful for this site as I can do this. Also for people like your self who often reply in a way that makes me feel better. I was off of here for a while do to being overly busy but lately I have been coming on more to just to relax.
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Apr 11
hi opinionatedLady its the oddest thing that the people we should be able to vent to and get help are often the very last place we can get any help. I often turn to mylot as we can share and find help and give help without being chastised for even thinking of venting or ranting. The kindness we should have got from family we more often get right here.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22205)
• Bhubaneswar, India
9 Apr 11
Dear Ms. Hatley Of course... This is the beauty of this family. We may have different opinions, our own preferences but yes, when it comes to sharing the problems and finding the solutions, most of us around jump on to help each other. And yes, these problems can range from anything. I had been feeling quite low towards the end of March, and I posted two gloomy discussions... I found a way out and Thanks to the family here... I am back to the better me.
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
high thesids I had just responded to a mylotter, and I could not figure out if it was a he or she, but this person was overwhemed with life in general, stressed out with job worries, domestic problems, being away from family and financial problems. this mylotter also said he or she had noone to talk to and share with. So I suggested he or she had started getting help by coming to our my lot family. and really all the responses were great with all kinds of good suggestions to combat his or her problems.this spurred my own discussion as I realized our mylot family does sort of take the place of a mental health clinic and instead of shelling out money we can get paid for seeking advice from others here. lol.
@louievill (28264)
• Philippines
9 Apr 11
You are absolutely right Miss Hately, being in Mylot is I think in a way therapeutic, it relieves stress cause at least we have a venue to vent out whatever bothers us or what we usually keep inside so long as we do not violate any rules and to top it all you get paid or compensated, imagine getting a free therapy and getting paid , now tell me what site would do that
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi louievill yes thats fantastic when you think about it, we get to use mylot to vent and rant and get solutions to our problems and make friendships and earn all at the same time too. and no charge for our mental therapy at all. cannot beat that as long as you abide by mylot rules and you remain always courteous and kind to each other. lol
• Canada
9 Apr 11
The internet in general is that for me. I never got into writing in a diary, because I was the only one who would read it. I was not interested in talking to a wall. Blogging is OK, but one has to have followers. MyLot and sites like it offer the best of everything. We can write, and people will read it!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi danishcanadian yes the internet had done that for me too. I never was into diary writing either. and when I retired and found myself with all day and nothing to do but make my bed and clean the apartment, and stare at the walls I surfed and found mylot. This gave me a new zest and I could make friends, help others, and share my own problems and I was not ever alone again. Also I made enough money to pay my internet bill with, an added plus.I even gave the person who confessed she and her husband read their teen daughter's private diary an earful. I mean her diary was for her a place to write down her feelings in private. the parents broke that privacy and were so wrong.I asked her if she realized that the diary has a key for a purpose, to keep ones thoughts private.
@MsTickle (25214)
• Australia
11 Apr 11
While I agree with you to a certain extent my dear friend there is another side to this aspect of myLot. I think a lot of posts cause the members to be stressed and full of woe or anger. I'm talking of the posts made by members who are constantly negative and moaning about their health, their life, their family or their job. When they attempt to be positive they come of sounding like a martyr. A post like this is fine every now and then but in a place like this there are so many negative people with negative issues. The thing is that many of these problems are self inflicted or caused by themselves and rather than face up to this they come here whining or complaining or ranting, looking for sympathy and they get it. There was one woman here, years ago, a prolific poster who was abusing her children and blaming the children and the majority of responders felt sorry for her!!! This is just another take on things my dear that really brings me down.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
12 Apr 11
Whoa MsTickle. I take offense to your response. It's people like you who judge others like you do and yet think you're so high and almighty. You put me down once and it was once to damned many and is why I removed you from my friends list. If you couldn't handle the truth of my situation you were free to move on to others but you didn't, you read the beginning and got too interested to move on and then come to tell me how embarrassed you were. What a hypocrite you are! Then you had the gall to tell me how it embarrasses you and my family and you felt it was disrespectful to my family, parents, my husband and my marriage. You’re no friend to anybody who’s having a hard time in their lives. God forbid YOU may need help!
2 people like this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
12 Apr 11
mstickle, I am so in agreement with Cats. How dare you judge the friends who keep each other going by listening to each other express their fears, their sadness, their frustrations and anything else they need to talk about. You obviously have no clue about the kind of friendships we share here on mylot. If you did you wouldn't be so critical. If these discussions bother you so much then don't read them. If you can't keep yourself from reading them then at least have enough respect not to respond.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25214)
• Australia
12 Apr 11
Cats, everything you don't agree with offends you. To the two of you. I'm entitled to my opinion. Please do not judge ME by YOUR standards. You have both attacked me because I stated my feelings on the matter. You made it personal, not me. Shame on both of you. Now leave me alone please, I'm happy not to have to deal with the likes of you two...yes leenie, I do ignore and I choose not to respond to the discussions of constant whiners.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11931)
• Guwahati, India
9 Apr 11
Hi hatley, You said it. However tensed or stressed you are if you can dare to log in to mylot and start a discussion about your problem there will be suggestions. And they are more and more. Though they could be different in deliberation but all would tell the same thing which would take your tension off and you are at least for the time being happy now.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi krajibg yes mylot is a sort of therapeutic place to find solutions to what is bugging you and a place to let off steam, to rant and vent among 'friends. and also we even get paid for coming here and confiding in our friends all thats been going on in our world and what are we going to do about it.Some will just encourage, some will sympagthize, and some will give us a swift kick in the pants if we need it, to spur us on and up out of any pity party into solving those problems.Sometimes one can get so bogged down and sorry for oneself that he or she cannot see how much we are just plain felling sorry for ourselves and not really doing a darned thing to help ourselves out of our troubles.this kind of advice in a mental therapy place would really cost you but here we actually even get paid for it. lol
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11931)
• Guwahati, India
10 Apr 11
And still lot more. Where one would get so many at a struck?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Apr 11
hi krajibg You are so right, mylot is just one of a kind and I am so grateful I found mylot when I did and met all you wonderful people.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17683)
• United States
10 Apr 11
Hi Hatley! Nice to see you! Hope your feeling much better. Yes, it is nice to have a place to come when I feel stressed or just want to "talk" to my friends. It is a place that I have been for a long enough time that I feel comfortable and enjoy the conversations and like to know how the people I care about are doing. And it is definitely a great place to come when advice is needed! There is such a wide variety of people of all types, ages with so many different opionions that you are bound to get the "help" that you need!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Apr 11
hi opal26 I am feeling pretty good tonight and just had a lovely warm shower and decided walking down to get a pain pill when the walk makes my knee evern sorer is just not worth it so will stay up here and if they want me to have it let them bring it to me. lol. I love to come here and just relax. I respond and find out whats happening to all my friends and if I can help in any way I sure will try.One of my dear mylot friends is all upset tonight and cries I give up and I told her shes always 'been my model of courage so never give up, if someone has hurt you just ignore them as not worth your tears. I cannot mention names but you m ay know whom I mean. we can all do whatever we can to cheer her up.After all we are all one big mylot family here.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17683)
• United States
10 Apr 11
Hi Ladies!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Apr 11
hi opal it was so cold in here I turned on the heater,now suddenly its too warm. oh well. I agree with all of you I love our conversations too.
1 person likes this
@yoyo1198 (3641)
• United States
9 Apr 11
I tried to post to this discussion last night (early this morning really) when all posting attempts were going nowhere and now I've forgotten what it was that I wanted to say. Anyway, I've seen where myLot members have depended upon advice given within their discussions. They then thank everyone for that advice and do indicate that they have been relieved of stress. We are fortunate that we have such a forum with many varied experiences to draw upon. I've had many life experiences where I can offer my two cents and hope that it helps others. I have also recieved help with my own issues and have had ideas given just by reading of others. I'm glad that I have a myLot membership.
1 person likes this
@yoyo1198 (3641)
• United States
10 Apr 11
You know, with the combined experiences and knowledge that those of us who are older, we do have a lot that we can share with the younger members, those in their twenties, thirties and even forties. We've probably already been there and done that many times over for them. Even at my age, I find that listening to people older than myself is beneficial almost every day. I've talked to my elders in nursing homes and learn from them constantly.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Apr 11
hi yoyo although I am not in a nursing home but a retirement center which is very different as we have mostly ambulatory people here and bno body is ill and in bed. retirement means they might need a little help but are not in need of nursing at all. but even I learn from others my age and some in their nineties too.All of us need to be needed no matter at what age.
@dragon54u (31623)
• United States
9 Apr 11
You are so right! myLot is a great comfort to me, whether I tell my problems or not. I can read about others and their travails and joys and it makes me feel better. For instance, I recently lost my mother and my friends here helped me so much! I don't have any family close to where I live except my dad who my mom divorced more than 40 years ago, and people here really, truly helped me deal with my grief. People here are great for advice on nearly anything, too! I really like this place!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 11
hi dragon54u I am the same way. It is a comfort to me. I came here from being newly retired forcefully. It did not help that ultimately the mangage and her assistant were fired for illegally firing an employee solely on basis of age.they both admitted I had always done my job and done it well but look shes almost eighty. I was phoned and asked to come back but ironically I was in the hospital with a smashed left shoulder. and after the surgery I never recoveredl more than thirty percent use of myh left arm. thus no working in the library ever again. I could not shelve media or even lift things. so I stayed retired and mylot was the blessing to me as it is now days.It serves me as mental therapy for stress and loneliness and the need of all elderly peoplr to have a reason for living, something worthwhile to do.
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31623)
• United States
10 Apr 11
We all need to feel worthwhile! Sometimes we don't know the impact we have on others--you've made me laugh as well as made me feel better. Sometimes I even think of something funny or wise that you've said when I'm not at my computer. So you are useful to many of us!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164094)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Apr 11
hi dragon and while I can write out my feeling I am really shy in person so am glad that I have made you laugh and smile with me. right now I am trying to keep my cool while my poor roommie deals 'with her alzenheimers. I remind myself over and over that when she says or does something really screwy its not her but the disease thats affecting her memory and sometimes her mind. and I thank God that my own mind is still intact. So I am glad I am useful here at my lot. When I come here all the tensions of daily' life retreat and sometimes when I look at some of them I go, why are you upset over that, its trivial.A month from now it will not matter.
1 person likes this