I think I am still in shock.
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (189880)
Boise, Idaho
June 25, 2011 2:07am CST
I am not even sure what day this happened. I think I am still in shock. Let me explain.....
My granddaughter has had a bad year. She married a young fellow last summer that we all thought was the answer to all our prayers. He was actually a worker(he previous boyfriends were no counts)and seemed to have a level head. Mir(my granddaughter) was happy and he seemed to be also. But then about two months ago now she called crying and said that her new hubby had only been scamming her. Each time he said he was happy he says he lied. He was miserable. What a chump!He went home to moma.
So they divorced and Mir was crushed. She kept the apartment and was trying to find work. Didn't happen. She was getting stressed about the bills. She barrowing alot from my daughter and I. I have just had to put my foot down and no more money! She attempted suicide about a month ago. I was so weired out. Then afew days ago she called to tell us she had burned down her apartment. YES!! Not actually to the ground but blackened it to unliveability.
What next? How much more can she handle? Redcross paid for a motel room for her for a week and the fire department gave her some money for necessities. So coming up Monday she will be homeless. I wish she could come here for awhile but our housing won't allow her to. And usually her, her mom and me don't do well under the same roof for long.
So do you believe things happen in threes? What more could possibly happen? Have you had any family member in a bad way lately? What up?
5 people like this
10 responses
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
1 Aug 11
Wow!! I hope things have improved for her since you started this discussion as this would be a Bad way to be. I know back in my lifetime there were times I ended up homeless and none of my family wanted to help me. Personally now, thank goodness I am married as none of my family would still ever want to help me. But it can be hard when things are going on around you like this to not let yourself feel stressed, and to have her feeling depressed. All you can do is Pray and believe God for helping her thru this time and one day looking back you hope it will truly be worth it all.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
1 Aug 11
Personally you can only Pray for her and this situation and hope someday she wakes up and realizes what she is doing to herself and others before it is too late. I have seen many people actually like this and it is SAD. I honestly just wish somehow they could see what they are doing to themselves and to the others around who Love them.
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Aug 11
Ya, she's a user. She won't work and I am pretty discusted by her. She calls or comes over only when she needs money. She is really manipulative and can make out like its a nice visit and come and talk to me and be really into it. She called the other day and I told her we didn't have any money and we haven't heard from her since.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
I think their relationship did not work out well. I am worried about your grad daughter because of how she is acting. She is not mentally stable at this point... i think she needs to be with someone and maybe since she is to be without a home, maybe you do need to invite her to your place for the mean time until she is ready and is over the situation she was in... never mind that you do not get along.. i mean you just need to hush a little while she stays with you and while she makes herself better.
I am worried she is actually trying to hurt herself and that meant she needed company all the time... who knows what she will do next
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Oct 11
No. We can't have her living here. Not enough room and problems from before. She needs to seek help. I am glad she is on some meds now.
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
9 Aug 11
Gee I am sorry to hear that this is happening for your granddaughter and your family.I am trying to think what could help you in this situation, as it is a hard one to know how to deal with. I have a major situation going on with my son, as his ex girlfriend and mother of his 2 girls, did him real bad dirt. Sadly she is a user and a Drama Queen, I wrote a discussion on this already, and still it is not over and done with.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Aug 11
Tough love is about all we can do. I told her afew weeks back that her mom and I didn't have anymore money to loan her and we haven't heard from her since. Sorry to hear you have a similar problem. I may have read your discussion.
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Sep 11
hi celticeagle why cannot her own mom help her rightr now? that would seem more logicakyes things do happen in three and fours at time. my son and I in sept of 2008 were in a two bedroom apt which was taking every penny my son made for rent plus some and finally the jerks he wo ked for laid him off. and the jobs that had been out there were gone. they were laying off computer programmers not hiring. so it has taken almost three years for him to get even a part time job. we were evicted, homeless finally he put me here as he feared for my well being I was 81 then, so here I am not where I wanted to ever be but was our only choice as we had no other family and no money .so we had the domino effect first the lay off, then eviction and the person who said she would sponsor us for three months to an apt in Antioch Ca changed her mind at the very last second so thus me at this tiresome retirement center my son in gov sponsored housing with three other men in a 2 bedroom apt. he still has not made enough for us to rent another apt.so we are now stuck where we are.could be much worse, but it could also be a lot better too .
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Sep 11
Her own mom has problems of her own. I hope you get where you want to be at some point.
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Jun 11
Well, thank the Gods that you don't because it is HORRIBLE.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
29 Jun 11
I have been struggling with my son for the last three or four years. It has been one thing after the other with him and there was a time when I was spending every bit of extra money I had trying to get him on his feet...it was really just making it worse. I think the hardest thing that I had to deal with was realizing that it was out of my hands and there was nothing I could do.
I know it sounds crazy but I do think that bad things come in threes. It sounds like she has had enough to add up to three.
I know how heartwrenching it can be...hang in there.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Jun 11
Her car broke down too. I firmly believe that if she had been out looking for work all this time instead of everything else but she probably would have been working and the candle would never have been lit and the place never would have burned. I had to drive by there to believe that was the same place we had Christmas in. It was horrid. All black and curled. We have really had to be tough on her. She calls constantly for money and we just don't have it. She should be helping us!
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
25 Jun 11
This is awful! I feel bad for Mir and that was no way for her hubby to do her. I guess he wasn't ready to leave the nest. Being married and having responsibilities was more than he could handle.
As for Mir, she was hit hard by what he did but she was willing to make a go of it anyway.
May I suggest, that her 3 bad things have happened...he left, no job, house burning, no place to live. That being covered Ask her if she has been to any of the Temp services. They will send her to work. It may not be anything she has ever done but they will put her to work. She just needs to tell the person there how badly she needs a job and she will get one.
I did this after not working for several years and they got me a job. They also keep my son in work here in Tennessee where there are very few jobs in the small towns we are near.
Good luck and blessings
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
I am puzzled to think that someone would get married even if they're not happy with it. Why did the guy get married in the first place and what did you mean when you said that he just scammed her? Was she wealthy?
Further, I know that these are depressing times, but how come she decided to but her apartment? I mean, why not just rent it out to someone or accept bed spacers to help her with the bills?
I don't mean to sound rude and all, I know that she must be going through something bad these days but her actions are not those of someone who's still sane. I mean, how hurt could you get if you just married a guy for 1 year and you act out like that after everything is over. It's just overly emotional.
I don't really know how to talk to her about these things, but I think she needs her senses to be straightened out first. I think she needs to just accept the realities in life and just suck it in. She will not find a job if she's unstable.
As for you, I don't think that giving her money would help. Neither would letting her stay in your house help either. What would you do if she starts burning down your house? I would keep my family away from people like that. It's better if she found her own way than to put my family's life in danger.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Jun 11
always. i have 3 kids about always in a bad way and its come to a point, i cant seem to help them any more. having run out of money and barely making it ourselves. its a lot the economy. its killing us and our families. 
i hope she finds someone to help soon. your grand daughter that is. 
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Jun 11
I might as well have three kids. My daughter and her two kids. I call them all 'my kids'. I am in pretty much the same bout as you are. My granddaughter needs to get work and I firmly believe that if she was working this never would have happened. SHe wouldn't have had the candle going because she would have been working. She spent all this time before the fire wasting her time and now she is going to homeless.
@celticeagle (189880)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Jun 11
I am glad to hear that you have your true GOd Jehovah and have so many things to consider before doing the worst thing.
