Reaching Out....

Personally sometimes I think it is the Trust issue, and the fear of rejection and someone not wanting to accept you due to your faults, or the job you do in life, etc. Also I think as we tend to get older there is not always the need to want New friends and people in our life due to we get too set in our ways and afraid to let someone in for Fear they are going to want to get too close, and end up not being a Good influence for us. I know I am very selective now, and usually end up not allowing people in until I feel it is acceptable.

I must agreed with what you had mentioned here. You are right that when we grows older, we will seems to be hard to enter into any new relationship. Most of us, seems unable to open up easily with strangers. Maybe when we are getting older, our mind started to fill with all kinds of information, so we feel more guarded. We want to make sure that our life always stay in order and well-maintained.

I am getting so set in my ways now, and have many things going on in my life. Nowadays I just like quiet time, and I work alot, so I value my downtime. I can't really explain it.

I have changed a great deal over time. I think that our experiences has a lot to do with this. My grandmother had a friend from highschool until the day she passed. I also saw a lot of socializing when I was younger but as I get older, I notice that it's not the same for me. I am very outgoing and social when I am "out" but when I go home...that's like my safe haven. I don't have a lot of people over..I think it might have been a year or more since I have had one of my friends here. My b/f is the oppisite..lol...he has a friend to his man cave almost every night. He loves to have someone to play music with.

Actually, ever since I find it hard to reach out. It doesnt matter on what age I am. In my 21 years of life, I only had 1 relationship and thats was last year. After that I dont know if i will have another one. Maybe I will, But i think thats gonna take me long again. I dont understand why some people around, after the another theres always a replacement. I dont believe that it will always be based on the looks. Or maybe some are just natural flirty, I guess!

As one grows older there is a decrease in all the faculties including wanting to have a hoard of friends and wanting to keep in touch with all the relatives including distant cousins. I think it is a natural process as is the case with for example not wanting to dress to kill, or go for every new movie that is in town.

Like you I an very friendly with the people I meet by chance but I am not quite so ready to jump into serious friendships as I was when I was younger, I have become rather cynical and subconsciously wonder what these people really want from me. I am am so glad I still have many of the same friends I have had for the past 30 or 40 years They are true blue friends whom I trust with my life.

Hi Cel! You may be right that as one grows older, one does not want to enter into a new relationship, untill and unless s/he is an extrovert. Many of us are introvert and do not open up easily with strangers. I also do not easily enter into a new relationship with an unknown fellow (in real life).

I love to have friends but people are not friends like they use to be i have found out the hard way. I have found out that people i thought were my friends wern't. I really don't have much a chance of meeting new people i stay in so much.

yes its much harder. especially if you cant get out much due to heat, like here, and having breathing problems, plus not being in a home place you always have known people. here people dont seem friendly like in ohio or maybe its my age. mostly with me, its just to much work to try again.

I think it was in an episode of Seinfeld that they said something like: once you turn 30, you can't make new friends. You're just stuck with the ones you already have for the rest of your life. For me, that's true, I don't have any patience to meet and understand new people, and I'm not even sure I like some of my old friends that much. It has something to do with the Internet as well; for instance, when I find a new band that I like, I don't have to tell all my friends and to ask them to listen to the same music... I can just go online and find tons of people who already do and who understand me. I remember my grandmother who was completely different. She'd have these parties of 40+ people all the time, and every time she met somebody new, she'd instantly invite them over.

I have been thinking about this recently myself. I am not nearly as friendly, in general terms, as I used to be. I don't know whether it's that I'm less trusting, or just that I'm content right now. I have never been a person that has huge numbers of friends, though. Still I've noticed I've changed in that way. So it's not just you!

Well I think I have been that way all my life. =) When I was a kid I would become friends with other kids but most of them moved away, changed schools, were exchange students, etc.. In my childhood I lost at least 10 friends this way. It became very difficult to make friends and in high school I was ridiculed and teased all day every day. In my adult life I have had some friends but most took advantage of me emotionally, monetarily and sometimes physically. Often having me help them move but never paying me back or inviting me to parties or outings outside of helping them. Another friend called me up every time she had a bad run in with a potential boyfriend and she would avoid my calls the rest of the time. Some would need money for some expense all the time and they never paid me back or wanted to hang out unless I paid for something for them. My previous boyfriends had me on an emotional string to do things for them because I felt so desperate for attention and connection with someone. Now I finally have a really good boyfriend who understands me. He is kind, sensitive, loving, intelligent, loyal and funny. All the things I could ever want in a boyfriend and he has had a similar experience with friends as me. We have been together 6 years and counting. I have broken connection with all these past friendships and don't seek to have more friends. I am friendly with people I see and I do have some outside activities I do with others but I don't expect to ever have other friends. My exceptions are my boyfriend and my best friend through my childhood which I don't think I would have survived without her.