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Have you ever had to deal with someone dangerously paranoid?
By SomeCowgirl
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
United States
July 29, 2011 3:46pm CST
Before I start this discussion, let me first emphasize I am not picking on anyone, and that I understand we all have our own limitations, that not everyone is perfect, and that alot of us have mental issues. Even I have a mental issue, I'm bipolar. I've said that here before. My best friend is bipolar.
In any case, I have an uncle who is schizophrenic. It gets to the point where it's seriously dangerous and annoying to be around him. He gets an idea in his head and he can't comprehend that it's completely off the wall. He thinks people follow him, he thinks we've all been replaced, or our thoughts are being beamed down and thought for us. It's insane, he's literally insane.
In fact, if he knew I was talking about him here he'd think that I was after him. He's told me he thought I was after him before. In any case, it's gotten to the point where it's dangerous for my grandparents. Last night apprently, though I didnt' hear it, he was yelling at my grandfather, his father, to the point that my grandmother said she thought my grandfather was going to have a heart attack.
That's dangerous and SCARY! I'm going to try to wrap this discussion up before it gets too long and it gets cut off, in any case, let me reiterate, I'm not saying anything bad about anyone, you don't know my uncle, you don't know me and I don't know you. If you were in this situation you may have a different view point, you may not.
He's been into a psych ward, he thought they put a chip in his head, he does need to go back, he needs to be medicated, he has good days, good times, when it seems he realizes he's kind of crazy, but then he has bad days, bad times, and even worse times.
Have you ever had to deal with family like this? or anyone like this? Share you're experiences.
REMEMBER : I'm not saying anything bad about it, yes, he annoys me, yes he's dangerous, yes he needs help... he's still my uncle, even if I can't stand to be around him.. and I still love him... It's just, I guess I needed to vent.
3 people like this
12 responses
@Xsparky017 (289)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
I guess I'm lucky enough not to deal with that kind of mental issues. I am a paranoid in a different way which is not dangerous. I'm vain, I'm getting paranoid whenever I don't smell my perfume around me at all, when I haven't checked my face in the mirror for the last 15 mins., when I gain a pound (I would seriously jog in a threadmill for about 2 hrs or more 'till I get sooo tired), and whenever I got scratches on my skin. You may say, I'm over-reacting but that's just the way I am. I honestly don't know what to say 'cause I've never encountered a schizophrenic in my entire life though I have a little knowledge about that. Is there still a treatment for that? I mean a permanent treatmet? Or just some pills to make your uncle calm? No offense friend, just asking.
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I would call that more obsessive compulsive disorder, sparky. It does not sound like it is truly disrupting your life though.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I can understand that, I mean what you call paranoia, I would just call it... well not sure, but I can be the same way sometimes. As for the pills, yes, but he wouldn't take them. I'm not sure if there's any "permanent" treatment per se though.
1 person likes this
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I think my boyfriend has obsessive compulsive disorder. He can have weird unwanted fear about things and start working hard to eliminate them. Sometimes it ends up affecting his health. Right now he is thinking that the new lady at his workplace will eat up his job because they both do the same things. So he works now from 8:30 pm to 8pm. He does not even get paid for his overtime.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I have a former roommate who was totally nutz! She was a relative of a former long time roommate, but when she ran out of meds after she got here, I got treated to her paranoia! It was pretty scary.
In fact, she turned the long time roommate's mom against her for a while, but the mother wasn't exactly out of the woods either.
And, if they got off their meds... well, it wasn't pretty...
They are both gone now, but it is a good lesson to keep that former roommate on her anti-depression meds!
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
29 Jul 11
It's sad if you think about it, they're limited in their lives because of things they believe. I have problems sometimes where I believe things for a while that aren't right, aren't true, but I've learned to think about it before acting, and most of the time it's the work of my over active imagination.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I do know what you mean...
Honestly, tho, it is normal for small children to be pretty self-centered, it is also normal for teens to be a bit paranoid for a while, because the changes in their hormones and the like. Its when someone get "stuck" in self-centered or paranoid behaviors that it becomes a problem to function as an adult.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
29 Jul 11
Yes, well my uncle here, he used to be someone I looked up too. This was years ago though, a few years ago he just changed, he started developing problems. It's sad though, and to be honest, I am not sure where he'll go once my grandparents pass.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I have worked with schizophrenic people in nursing homes and also in adult supported living situations. Properly medicated and helped and supported, they are fine. Unfortunately, in my experience, they get to feeling good while on medication, then believe themselves cured and quit taking it. I have been around some who are dangerous. Vent if you like. I can tell the difference between venting and saying something mean or bad. Would your grandmother call for help if she needed to? This concerns me. Does your uncle live there too?
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
30 Jul 11
You are on target with the B vitamins. I am one of those people who cannot take Ginko. It is a concern that he is watching kids, but maybe it is okay. I think everyone needs to have a purpose and something to put their time into. Schizophrenia does get worse with age, I have been told.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I took care of my niece and nephew for a week, actually lived with my sister and brother in law for a week, and at the end of that week I found out my uncle felt like I was taking his job. It is a job but he wasn't getting paid for it. In any case, I was asked to "resign" so to speak and left. My niece is 5, my nephew 11. In a few years he'll be old enough to take care of my niece on his own, amd that would be better.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
Yes my uncle lives with them. I know that they would call for help if it was immediate, but then it might be too late. I know he has emotions, he has feelings, and they get hurt. It's hard to deal with him because you don't want to hurt his feelings, but at the same time sometimes you just have to go away because you can't get him to reason, or you're tired of just saying "I know" when you know it's not right.
He did go to a mential institution, several actually, but he took medicine for awhile, and then it just didn't work for him, it was messing with his ability to do things. I know that kind of medicine is trial and error, but he wouldn't try anything else.
I think he even used to take vitamins with it, now he doesn't take any vitamins that I know of. Perhaps if he had some B complex vitamins and some ginkgo it'd help with some of the symptoms, but I doubt he'd take any. He is also self centered, I am not sure if this stems from his mental issues or not.
He takes care of my niece and nephew, I thought this was dangerous and in ways it is, but he seems to be more centered when he has them to take care of. Even so, I told my nephew, who is 11 to come to me if he felt something my uncle said was not right, or if he didn't come to me, remember that not everything my uncle says is right. That he should listen but take his own judgement....
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159936)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Jul 11
Have you seen Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts? If you haven't you should. I live with a bi-polar daughter and a grandson with a mood disorder. I am their advocat. Most of the times life goes along pretty well. But when my daughter goes into her manic phrase is is HELL on earth! You read my discussion a couple of posts back on my week-end after an upset with her. Selfish, immature. Reverts to this narcissistic teenager. It is awful. I feel your pain. The right medication could do a world of good.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I am bipolar, my best friend is bipolar, two of my uncles are bipolar (one of them is the one I am discussing in this post, it's bipolar with schizophrenia) and my late brother was bipolar. My grandmother believes that other people in our family were bipolar, great uncles and aunt, great grandparents, etc.
I know how it can be, it can be very scary and very dangerous, also just a heartache to deal with firsthand.
You're daughter seems to exhibit the kind of behavior that a friend of mine's sister does, my friend's sister is the same as my uncle, but more on the bipolar side.
It's scary stuff, I know, and the right medication does help, but with mental conditions, it's always a trial and error / guinea pig type thing, you have to find out what works for that one person.
I've not seen the Conspiracy Theory movie I don't believe.
I believe, in a way though, that we all suffer from a mental disorder, because even mild depression effects us, and in this world, it's hard to find one person who hasn't felt depression or sadness because of the goings on, the debt, the many natural disasters taking people from their homes, those who have been lost to us.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159936)
• Boise, Idaho
31 Jul 11
I do agree about medication. I know it was very hard to find the right ones for my daughter and they change from time to time. Conspiracy Theory is a good movie. Mel's character is real paranoid. I think alot of us do have some sort of mental disorder. Alot of depression and things on the middle run and not really able to cleary be diagnosed.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
2 Aug 11
I can't say that I have.
Except for the regular paranoia that I encounter with people, I haven't dealt with anybody that needs to be medicated.
Having said (written) that, I do work with someone here who hates when people talk and she is not included. She thinks everyone is after her job!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
2 Aug 11
That just sounds like insecurity / job insecurity. With which the world economy, isn't such a bad thing. However, I am glad you've not had to deal with anyone seriously paranoid, I don't think you'd enjoy the experience in the least.
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
30 Jul 11
Being bipolar is not terrible. I have never seen schizophrenic person. But when I was only 6 one of my little friends had a grand mother with some serious mental disorder. My friend told me that being with her was dangerous for which she was kept in a locked room all day.
One day, I went to her place to play with her. Unfortunately, she went somewhere with her mother. I just had no idea about it. But their main door was open and so I just entered their house to find out from her maid as to where she went. There was no one except for her grand mother and father. He was trying to feed her lunch. By mistake, I ended up in her room because he was in it. When I was about to ask him about my friend the grandma grabbed my hand tightly and started calling me her real grandchild. To keep her happy, my friend's father agreed with her. He told me to stay so he could feed her while she talked to me. I did that day, but my liver ended up coming in my throat because I got extremely scared.
Another time, she ran away from her room. The maid just did not lock it properly. That day was terrible. I was playing in our little yard while I noticed things coming towards me from my friend's yard. It was the grandmother throwing things here and there. A book was actually about to hit my head. Their maid ran to me and asked me to go inside my house so I stayed safe. Meanwhile, my friend's house went through serious demise. All vases and plates were broken into pieces and books were thrown out. I don't think it is easy to deal with someone like that without medical supervision. Do you think she was schizophrenic? I really don't have much idea about this mental disorder.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
That must have been very scary for you to deal with at that young and tender age! Wow! Well I am not sure, it does sound to me as if it could be that. I don't know all that much about it myself, except from what I see of my uncle. I do know thaey have mood swings, and that if given the chance, they'd probably have thrown things. Believing you to be her real grandchild, well I believe schizophrenia to be the extreme and even sometimes paranoid belief of something that isn't true, so she may have been, maybe mildly but she had other things wrong with her as well. I am sure she must have not liked being stuck in that room all day, and that her rampage may have been partially because of it.
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
30 Jul 11
Is he safe to be with? Is he forgetful? I was told that the grandma forgot everything from her past. So she did not even recognize her daughter and family, but remembered the names. Strangely, she was not angry ever. She was calm, but would suddenly attack people without realizing what she was doing was dangerous for other people. One time she actually came on the street. All the neighbors had to stay indoor until she was taken inside.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
30 Jul 11
This is an excellent discussion! Yes, I have dealt with a few people who are paranoid to the point where it interferes with their life. Nothing I say to them helps, as they tend to fixate on whatever they believe is going on - which is out of left field. Some of the things these people say to me just make my jaw drop to the floor because I cannot figure WHERE they would even come up with such a thing, and then they constantly obsess about whatever it is, all day long... where it causes problems in their jobs.... where it causes problems with their families...where it causes some friends to avoid them, and all night long where they suffer with insomnia or nightmares.
If there is a way to handle this, please advise - because i tried the avoidance route before and then had people angry with me because they thought I didn't 'like them any more'. LOL! It's not a very nice thing to tell your friend they are nuts. I think it might be a combination of anxiety/depression as well as just a tendency toward paranoia because of lifelong insecurity. I really wish someone could tell me how to fix it, it almost makes you not want to be friends.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Aug 11
I will be honest with you. When I was first diagnosed with bipolar I was not a good person to be around. I found out later that it was my environment that caused my stressors and now I'm fine, well except for now with this uncle. I think paranoia goes hand in hand with life's stresses as well.
I am not sure what to advise to you, for me being away from him will help me and help him as I feel like when I'm not around he's better... However that's not going to work with everyone. Maybe the best thing to do is to advise a therapy session, but who wants to hear they need therapy?
Best of luck.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Jul 11
Yes I am depressed with a little schizophrenia. I always thought mom was after me. Before it was my friends after me. I feel sad and mad about that and even thought wanted to die with and kill my parents. But its not fair with my brother coz he will alone and sad and will kill himself too because he can't take it. So what's the meaning of escaping from the world itself is a pressure we must deal with it.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
From another discussion I've read of yours, you know that you have this problem and know that you need to take medicine for it. I think you are more adjusted then you might think. I don't know you, so I can't say for sure, but from what I've read you seem to be able to adjust nicely.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
30 Jul 11
I have a friend who is seriously paranoid, and is constantly thinking that everyone is out to get him. When we're all out as a group, he has to go back and check his car every half hour because he's convinced that someone will have taken it. He changes car parks around 3 times on an average night out because he feels as though the people who are around there aren't trustworthy enough to walk past without stealing his car. We cope with him because he's a friend, but we think he needs help. I hope that he will realise that soon and get the help that he needs to get better.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Aug 11
It is definitely dificult to deal with people like that, and I can understand it completely. You're not sure what to do but want him to get help. I hope he can get it soon. It may be his paranoia stems from being overstressed as well.
@Biomechanoid (2923)
• Estonia
30 Jul 11
Damn, your story is creepy! It must be really annoying and emotionally hard to live with such people by your side. I mean, you care about them and stuff, but you just can't interact with them as you do with other people, cause it may provoke another wave of insane thoughts and spark another phobia. One of my friends has a grandmother who has the same problem. There are times when she is absolutely fine, she is friendly to anyone and stuff, but then again there are days when we come to visit her and she just asks us to leave, believing that we have been sent to poison her because there are people who want to have her house and land. That's very frustrating, cause you see two completely different people in one person.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Aug 11
Yes it can be very frustrating to deal with someone like that. Also you're not sure what to say, are you nice or do you just ignore them? That's how I feel so most of the time I ignore my uncle, though when he's nice I try to be nice but not stay too long because he'll get off on a tangent again soon.
It's difficult to deal with and sad as well.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
That is both scary and annoying because this paranoid person would accuse people of things they didn't do. He has them in his head and this can be dangerous because he could hurt or even kill anyone who he thinks is plotting to do him harm. Yes, I have encountered such kind of person and it is not a good experience having to live with this person's insanity. They have to be put in psychiatric treatment and have their brains straightened out.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
riiight, that ain't going to happen here. He's been in a mental institution before, several I believe in fact, and he only came home with meds, and when he got off of them, or maybe before that, he began to think they implanted something in his brain. He DOES NEED help, but he won't get it, and the people who can force him are either to scared too, or don't want too.
@13tyates (1606)
• United States
1 Aug 11
I know where you are at with this. We have a family member who is also schizophrenic. Like you had said it gets really annoying and at times even DANGEROUS! We get medicine for him but then he stops taking it or he throws it away because he thinks he is "fine". But then after he is off it for a week or so here comes the I am going to kill myself or talking to his mind and all this crazy stuff again. We can NEVER get it under control. It is a sad and never ending path!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Aug 11
Yes that is exactly how it is here, minus the meds. He took some at one time, and then got off of them. It's quite annoying to say the least, and well I'm talking to you about it now. I just keep saying "I'll get out of here soon" and I will.
