Sometimes I feel very vulnerable.
@bagarad (14283)
Paso Robles, California
September 28, 2011 5:09pm CST
This morning, after my husband had gone out the door to leave for the day, I decided to go out just after him and move my car into the shade because it's so hot today. As I started to follow him out the door, I somehow slipped and when I tried to steady myself, it was on a rolling tea cart that took me further down and out of sight. I could see my husband on the porch, but he couldn't see me. Fortunately, he heard me yell at him to help me up. I had landed in a sitting position with most of the weight on my lower arms, near my elbows. Fortunately , the kitchen floor has a smooth surface. If I'd been on a paved outside surface I would have been scratched up.
My husband helped pull me to my feet, and I wasn't really hurt (except my dignity), but I wondered what would have happened if it had been worse and he was already in the car and would not have heard me?
After my dad died, my mom put in a swimming pool that she'd always wanted. Her habit was to swim outside and then some inside and change in the service porch. She lived alone. One day she came in and slipped and fell and broke her hip. She was a good 6-8 yards from the nearest phone, which was in the kitchen. I don't know how she dragged herself across the kitchen with that broken hip to call her sister, but she did. They took her to the hospital and replaced her hip, and I came to stay with her until she was OK to be by herself again.
The last time I fell, I was out in the garden and was more badly hurt, but no one could hear me yell from way out there. When this sort of thing happens, I feel very vulnerable. I realize I'm no longer young, but much more fragile.
What makes you feel vulnerable?
10 people like this
20 responses
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
29 Sep 11
I felt very vulnerable when 5 years ago I slipped and fell backwards on my kitchen floor. I live alone with my dogs.I was unconscious for 3 to 4 days before the non-stop howling of my 3 little dogs alerted my neighbors who called 911. The ambulance came and I was given 3 hours to live. Obviously I did nor die but as I had broken my back in 3 places so the prognosis was I would never walk again and after 2 weeks in ICU was transferred to a rehab nursing home . I was determined to walk again and after 4 very painful months I could walk enough to get back home. Where I found my only child had used my credit card to order jewelry and ended up costing me $36,000.00 of my 401 K plan and had 2 of the dogs (who saved my life put to sleep)!!! I do not have any contact with my heartless daughter who tried to have the nursing home keep me there so I could not come home and see all what she had done.
How is that for a horror story of what can happen when you slip and fall when there is no-one around to help.
Thank goodness my faith is strong and my Heavenly Father was with me every step of my recovery and I am now healthier that I have been in many years.
How is that for a horror story of what can happen when you slip and fall when there is no-one around to help.
Thank goodness my faith is strong and my Heavenly Father was with me every step of my recovery and I am now healthier that I have been in many years.3 people like this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
29 Sep 11
OMG. That is a horror story. Bravo to you and your faith for your recovery! Sorry you could not depend upon your daughter for help.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
29 Sep 11
You are correct the physical pain faded in time my my daughter's hatefulness still hurts. I want to share just how strong the power of prayer can be. I was getting along pretty well in physical rehab but getting out of the wheelchair and climbing a few stairs was agonising and my therapist always had to help me. I knew I would never leave the nursing home until I could accomplish this exercise on my own. I was already getting bad feelings that my daughter was up to something so I prayed very hard for the Lord to help me and He did! That very day when I stood at the bottom of the stairs I felt a warmth cupping my elbow then I was able to walk up and down the stairs on my own... I was on my way home..thank you Lord. Five years later I still give motivational pep talks to new residents what faith and hard work can do. I am considered a miracle by the nursing home staff. I did not mean to write such a lengthy comment but I love to share what faith and my personal miracle achieved.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
It's hard to conceive of a doaughter being so cruel, but I have no way of knowing what my own daughter would have done if it had happened to me. She would not have put the dogs down, since she liked dogs. But she would have been perfectly capable of using my credit card to buy things she wanted and trying to have me kept in the nursing home. I can see God's hand in keeping you alive until you were discovered and helping you get through your recovery. It's a miracle you lived through all that. I know the physical pain must have been terrible, but what you suffered emotionally at the hands of your daughter may have hurt even more.
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
3 Oct 11
What happened to you was just an accident. It happens to all of us sometimes. Don't feel embarrassed of that at all. You are lucky it wasn't worse then it was and that your husband was thee to help you. I notice that when things like that happen, we are not paying attention to where we are stepping or walking. It's like we have this goal in mind and we have to do that before we can move on. Then something like that happens. Also, after falling, we always say to ourselves, if I just didn't try to do that. What you have to do now is to be careful where you walk and always watch your step. Do not be in a hurry, like you said, we are not getting any younger. I guess our brains still think the same and thats how we get into trouble. Be careful, we need you here.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
3 Oct 11
You are quite right. I just start to do something and boom! There I go. I had done something really stupid in the garden before I fell backwards. I will not do that again. I guess it's nice to be young at heart unless we are calculating our ability to do something.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
29 Sep 11
I did fall on my knee on the ice, and I did miss the last two steps in the basement years ago, and it was more that the latter which made me feel vulnerable as well as getting pushed at the checkout counter. The reason was that when I slipped on the ice, and bumped into the concrete post, I was out and there were people around. But when I fell down those two steps, I was in the house alone. I was also glad that I have strong bones but found that my age is against me in that ;people seem to associate falling down, it has to be your hip is, and are shocked when I told them that I fell on my knee, so I am less likely to tell anyone that I fell or that I need help.
Needing help and being worried about asking it is what makes one vulnerable.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
30 Sep 11
I had to have a couple of pins put in and still have the scars shown. The doctor informed me that the alarm would not go off when I go through the machine at the airport. He also said because I had done a lot of exercises, and did not sit in a chair, that I would be able to resume regular activities that I did before. I have more trouble going down stairs and I attribute it to not using the bad leg when I go downstairs. I am also happy that I drank a lot of milk when I was young.
Do not have to worry about deafness, but my grandmother had cataracts so have to be careful about that.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
I guess if someone were around, I wouldn't worry about asking for help, unless the people looked unsavory and up to no good. But most people have good hearts and really do try to help. When my mom was still alive, she fell one day walking home from the mailbox -- her one attempt to exercise at 88. I believe it was a mailman who saw her on the sidewalk in front of her house and offered to help her inside, where she promply called me. The are some good things about living in a neighborhood, and if I am ever widowed, I will probably move into that house even though I don't like the noisiness of neighborhood living. Maybe by that time I will be as deaf as my mom was and it won't matter.
I'm glad your fall didn't do permanent damage. I had some trouble sleeping last night because I discovered some sore spots from the fall that I only felt when lying down on the side I like to sleep on. I didn't even bruise, so I expect it will be more comfortable in a couple of days. At least I get a second chance to try to be more careful. I do try to take care of my bones.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
29 Sep 11
What makes me feel vulnerable? Everything! I think it is time for you to get that alert system. You wear it around your next and if , G-d forbid , something happens , you press a button and the ambulance is called! Be careful.
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
29 Sep 11
Well at least you know what I was talking about. Take Care.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
I'm not alone that much, so I don't think I'm ready for it yet. Actually, when you press a button, a voice calls out from an intercom like device that's supposed to hear you from any room in the house. It asks what's wrong, just to make sure it's not a false alarm. The service has a list of people with keys to your house in order of your preference and they call until they find one of them who can come check on you if you don't really need an ambulance, but some other sort of help. If you don't answer the voice, it will call someone on the list to check on you or 911 as a last resort. That helps prevents having your door knocked in if they call 911.
2 people like this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
7 Oct 11
Hi Barb!
That would have been really unnerving. I am not that old but there are things that I do during my younger days that I can't do anymore. And lately I have realized the importance of getting a regular exercise especially for people getting old so I really try my best to exercise thrice or four times a week.
But what makes me vulnerable is the continuous stress from work which at times make me ill. I have experienced continuous field works and not getting enough sleep for consecutive days, being busy which adds to the stress and it really made me sick. I think it's my health that makes me vulnerable at times. I just counter it by taking vitamins everyday hoping that it is enough to boost my immune system.
2 people like this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Oct 11
I would think your exercise would help relieve some of that stress. Be sure your vitamins include lots of C and the full spectrum of B vitamins. In what kind of environment is your field work done?
I take a Mannatech supplement that helps my immune system, but it's an MLM thing and quite expensive if you are not a distributor -- even if you are. I just read about another supplement available on line that is supposed to really help the immune system, but I 'd have to look for the information. If I find it I will PM you if you wish. Just let me know. I pay for a couple of health newsletters that talk about the natural alternatives available to help certain conditions and prevent others. The two are both written by doctors, and they research what's in the medical literature that the medical establishment isn't anxious for people to find out about. So far I haven't gotten around to trying these because I am pretty happy so far with the Mannatech. Sometimes it just boogles the mind to keep track of what you need and put all the information together. It practically needs a computer. One important thing is to eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and minimize refined sugars and white rice and white flour.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15745)
• Philippines
29 Sep 11
you should be a lot more careful bagarad, well what makes me vulnerable is when i get sick, i always gets afraid that i'll die..lol. just 2 days ago i was high with fever and was having asthma attacks. It was so horrible that i am scared i will die and leave my kids. It is somethign i do not want to happen yet.
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15745)
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
well i am back at my office, but still have colds and cough but stronger.
1 person likes this
@peavey (16936)
• United States
29 Sep 11
I don't often feel vulnerable, but I guess I am! I live alone and I'm rather active in the house and out. When my mom got older, living alone, we tried to get her to use a device that would go around a chain on her neck and would call emergency services when she activated it. It was a sort of wireless connection to her phone, I think. She wouldn't use it, but it might be a good idea for someone like you, if you tend to fall and are alone a lot. I cannot for the life of me remember the brand name of the thing, though!
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
3 Oct 11
Yes, things do happen quickly and take us by surprise. We never really expect these things to happen to us the way they do.
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
29 Sep 11
I also live alone and there have been plenty of situations where I felt the same way. One was when I sat on a chair in my craft room and it collapsed...I hit my head on a bench that was behind me....also getting up with arthritis in my knees is not an easy task! One other time I was sewing and jammed a darning needle through my foot. It was embedded in the carpet and I didn't see it....it went all the way through my foot. I had no phone close. I would have had to go down the stairs...well there was thread still in the needle so I pulled it back out of my foot. I thought I was going to pass out!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Oct 11
oh Jillhill ouchi ouch. just thinking about how painful that was makes my own foot hurt.I remember in my teens getting a fishing
hook caught in my hand and the barb went through and was outside the wound. In the ER they gave me pain killers then sawed through that metal so that the smooth part of the hook could be pulled out of my hand without so much pain. I was glad it was my left hand as that was really sore.sort of put a damper on my love of fishing. I hope
both of you took good care not to stumble over stuff. I have learned that a lot of accidents could be prevented if w
e kept all the paths in our homes free from stuff we could stumble over. well good luck ladies and good night, close to my bedtime.
e kept all the paths in our homes free from stuff we could stumble over. well good luck ladies and good night, close to my bedtime.@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
Those must have been very painful experiences. Did you get to a doctor after those injuries? It there a friend or family member close by to call when you can get to a phone? I suppose one reason I feel so vulnerable is that I don't have that anymore. I have no surviving children and my brother is five hours away from me. My neighbor would help if she were home, but she's my only neighbor here. Even my pastor is hard to reach by phone, so I wouldn't know whom to call. AS long as my husband is here, I'm OK, but if anything happens to him, I'd really be pretty much on my own.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
3 Oct 11
I think the thing that makes me feel vulnerable is crime. I try not to let it control me or the things I do though. I think that if I did that it would win if that makes sense...lol. I think that we all have things that makes us feel vulnerable.
2 people like this
@allknowing (153544)
• India
29 Sep 11
This can happen to any one old or young as it is not always that one has company. These situations cannot be avoided in the process of living a normal life. I have heard of so many instances when there have been such accidents but somehow as it happened to your mother things get sorted out.
Living alone seems to be more a rule than an exception these days.
Hope all is well with you now.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (153544)
• India
29 Sep 11
Strangely bagarad when one is young there are always people in one's life. It is only when the nest is empty that solitude takes over. And one more thing about youngsters. There are dangers because youngsters dare do things that might result in accidents! So looking at the lifestyle, both young and old are prone to disasters!
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
I'm fine. But you are right. These things can happen to young and old. It's just that when you are young you don't feel so vulnerable. Twenty years ago I wasn't as afraid of breaking bones in a fall, and getting up afterwards wasn't as difficult. Neither would I have been afraid of living alone. These kind of thoughts just wouldn't have occurred to me back then.
@Professor2010 (20156)
• India
27 Oct 11
Thanks for sharing your story and your mothers, sad to here this, good you are safe.
I faced a major accident in 1985 that broke my hipbone to 8 pieces, i was in bed for 8 months, am still unable to walk properly, can't squat on ground even now.
Next was in 2004, after i retired from job, i slipped in the bathroom floor, my head had a severe injury, i was senseless for about 2 hours, only when sense came i could comeout.
Best of luck.
Professor
Professor
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Oct 11
Oh, Professor. What an awful ordeal you have been through. Why did they not replace your hip like they did my mom's when she fell and broke her hip? Even if they had replaced you hip, though, you would not be able to squat or touch your feet -- at least my husband can't, and he works hard swimming everyday to keep his strength up and does other things to help use all possible muscles. Do you live alone? Does your country have the medical help button services available so you can wear the button and be able to get help if you can't get to a phone? I hope you will be able to avoid more such accidents.
@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
28 Sep 11
I am terrified to be in another car wreck where a car rear ends me.
I have been in a few and that coupled with other things I had done over the years (jumping from a helicopter(Army) and lifting people double to triple my weight from age 15 on in working on my medical career, I have pretty much ruined my cervical and lumbar spine.
I refuse surgery, as when I see others going through back surgery and say they have had it done 3 to 4 times and no success, I have been determined to live for as long as I can as normal as I can.
My vulnerablity comes when my husband could be in the house and never hear me anyway.
I can sit in my recliner, he can be in his, and just a end table between us and he cannot hear a word I say.
Its very frustrating I keep my cell phone on me all the time.
He will not even answer the home phone if I was to call. And once he goes to bed, he does not hear the phone at all.
So even having a person in the house does not aid me.
I think I would call an ambulance over him LOL
2 people like this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
That's not funny. How frustrating that must be! I can understand your feelings about the surgery. They tried to talk me into it as a preventive thing after a car accident, but I got a second opinion from someone who was not a surgeon and he said it's not an operation that he'd recommend if I were his wife, since I had not had symptoms. I may be be getting symptoms now, 30 years later, but they aren't so bad that I'd rather risk that surgery than live with them.
@aghiuta (525)
• Canada
2 Oct 11
I guess the older we get ,more vulnerable we become! That is why I keep my cell phone,with me always,When it is icy outside,(and living in Canada it is often) I am very careful.I gave up high heels,because my knees do not like them anymore,but also because I like to feel steady on my feet! I work out a lot,and I am an ex athlete,but that does not stop me from worrying. Also sometimes I get palpitations,and when I can not stop them immediately,I get anxious,which does not help!
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
2 Oct 11
Keeping the cell phone with you is a wise plan. One just never knows when an accident will happen. I gave up wearing high heels years ago. They are terrible for feet, and I don't have to go anywhere anymore where they are important. If people don't love me in flats, it's too bad. About those palpitations, one doctor told me you can try putting your face in a bowl of cold water or bearing down as though you are having a bowel movement and it can sometimes stop the palpitations. I take medications to keep them away.
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
29 Sep 11
I have bone spurs in my knees which prevent me from straightening my legs. That means I can stand but it is with bent knees almost at a squat. Also, I need two knee replacements. So, to continue to work, I use an office chair to roll around the shop. I can walk a few steps from the house to my car using a walker. Longer than that, I have to use help and my wheelchair. In my chair, I am normal and just like anyone else. If I have to walk or stand, I am handicapped. Most days, I don't think about it much, but when it rains, or snows, it is easy to be fearful. I can no longer depend on myself to help myself in time of trouble. I wouldn't be able to go for help if I was stranded anywhere in the car. That's what made us get our first cell phones. It gave me some security. A couple of weeks ago, the girls at work picked up and moved my chair over some boxes and the chair came off the base. When they put it together again, they didn't secure it. When I come to work, my chair is waiting at the back/side door for me. I can't step up the 6" step to enter the building, so I sit down in my chair from outside. That day, I sat down in my chair, it wobbled like a bobble head doll and dumped me in the floor. With my knees, I can't get up by myself either. A friend from across the street from our shop heard me yell in surprise in the doorway, drove over and pulled me up after they fixed my chair. Long story short...if anything happens to that chair, I would be unable to work. It is a very vulnerable feeling to be so helpless. So...I understand perfectly.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
As I see all your stories, mine is as nothing, but it certainly did start a discussion. Many of you have or had so much more to recover from than I. No wonder you feel vulnerabe, Esther. I have some idea of your situation because a dear friend of mine has been in a similar situation. Knees are very tricky. My friend has had three knee replacements that her body has rejected, and last time I saw her she was having to hold on to the walls and furniture to move around the house and she needed a wheelchair outside. All her bedrooms and bathrooms are up or downstairs. She does not, fortunately, live alone, though her husband is not able to be home with her all the time. Her three married sons and their families also live very close by. Please get the best possible surgeon for those knee replacements. Keep us posted.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
29 Sep 11
I think that we humans can be very vulnerable at times, especially when we are hurt physically accidentally. Each time when I have a long trip by bus or by train, it seems that I easily have a sore neck and waist and it won't be gone until a couple of days. Also if I sit long before the desk, sometimes I feel sore in the left waist and then I have to lie down to have a rest or sleep. How I wish I were as strong as I used to in my twenties. Take good care of yourself, bagarad.
Take good care of yourself, bagarad.1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
I certainly will try to be more carefully. I still have no idea why I fell today.
As for the sore muscles, I feel them more frequently now, too. I really need to get back into some sort of fitness routine -- even if it's just housework.
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
29 Sep 11
Maybe you should carry a loud whistle around your neck and tell everyone that if they hear the whistle to locate you as you will only use when in big trouble.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
That's an idea, but I doubt if even a whistle would have gotten anyone's attention the night I fell in the garden. It's far from the houses on the property and it was very hot out. Everyone inside had noisy fans on or A/C, not to mention the radio or TV. It's possible my nieghbor's dogs might have heard it, though, and got her to look around outside.
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
29 Sep 11
Glad to hear you're okay after that. It could have been worse! I'm still young, but I know not as young as when I was in my spanking twenties. I could do double shifts at work and not be affected at all. Last week, I worked 8-5 at my office and did a part time job 10pm to 6am (yeah, doesn't look like part time, does it?
) and now I'm paying for it. Been out for some days now because of body aches all over. 
Please be careful. I slipped a lot when I was a kid and had to go through rehab therapy many years after because of the effects of my accidents.
) and now I'm paying for it. Been out for some days now because of body aches all over. Please be careful. I slipped a lot when I was a kid and had to go through rehab therapy many years after because of the effects of my accidents.1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
29 Sep 11
This morning I mostly just scared myself good, and it's fortunate my husband hadn't left yet. I suppose I would have found some other way to get up if he had, just as I did that night in the garden. It's just not a pleasant thought. I think when we are younger we are much more confident, too dumb in some ways to know we aren't indestuctable. We have energy and are generally in better shape. I walked almost everywhere I went for my first 22 years or so, except when I was very young. Sounds like both of us had better be careful. Got to watch that sleep deprivation, says the pot to the kettle. It might make us more accident prone.
@Rick1950 (1573)
• Lima, Peru
30 Sep 11
I think you shouldn't worry to much about this. Nobody is free of accidents. Try to avoid surfaces which can make you to slip. Maybe it will be good if you have always a cellphone with you or near you. It is true that adults are going to lose some skills but we are going to win more experience too. So be carefully and keep well.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
30 Sep 11
I certainly will try. I just never think about my cell phone in the house. I normally keep it in my purse so I can't forget it when I leave the house. It's true that no one is free of accidents, but we old folks seem to have more than our share of them. I will, of course, try not to do some of the riskier things my mom did when she was by herself. She aways seemed to be climbing on something that got her into trouble, and she almost cut the end of her finger off while preparing a holiday meal and had to go the the emergency room on either Christmas or Thanksgiving, but dad was still around to take her on that day.
