how long do you keep your child punished?
By curmont
@curmont (343)
United States
October 28, 2011 10:54am CST
I recently got into a very heated discussion with my mother over how long and often my children are on punishment. I have 4 children ages 13, 11, 9, and 6. She believes that a maximum of a 20 min time out should be used for my younger children and that a weekend of being grounded is more than sufficient for the older 2. I personally think the punishment we receive at home should mirror real life and that anybody can go 2 days without tv or phone without enduring any real consequence, I do not put my older 2 children on any punishment that is less then 1 week and my younger two for any less than 3 days. I do not beat or abuse my children they are not deprived of anything they need during this time including my love and affection, they are only deprived of the things they enjoy such as tv, games, phone, and toys. They are not allowed to go outside to play or engage in any other activities other than school (no soccer games, or karate practice etc.) I do not think I am being too hard on them they need to be prepared for the real world and their they will find the consequences far longer and more severe then anything mom ever dished out. Tell me what you think, how long is realistic to keep a child punished, how long do you punish your children?
2 people like this
11 responses
@fantabulus (4000)
• India
29 Oct 11
Ohhhhhhh curmo 4 children now really living well settled life is difficult. Fanta not like punishment of children born less child but not punished because child feel bad ohhhhhh mom always beat me and other child also think ohhhhhhh mom not love me so I dont want to discriminate or partiality between child and not like punishment.
@sjvg1976 (41131)
• Delhi, India
29 Oct 11
Hello Curmont,
I don't favour punishing kids for a long.
My method is bit different from you like i just punish my kids by scolding them at the moment when they do things wrong for 2~3 minutes and then set them free.
But it depends on kids how they should be punished but dear depriving them for the things they like for a week is too much you should be bit linient.
My method is bit different from you like i just punish my kids by scolding them at the moment when they do things wrong for 2~3 minutes and then set them free.
But it depends on kids how they should be punished but dear depriving them for the things they like for a week is too much you should be bit linient.
@narthan (325)
• India
29 Oct 11
Children tend to more phobic upon receiving more punishment. And if one think that they can correct their children by punishing then they are definitely wrong. It is always better to explaining them why is it wrong and how to correct themselves in a very polite manner because children listen to things only shen things are explained to them in a proper manner. Again if we scold them then again they tend to repeat it. It is more important to understand a child's mind first.
@pro_ojha (600)
• India
29 Oct 11
hi curmont
I think you are doing right thing. If some one do something wrong he must be punished. One thing you doing right, you prohibited their desire work (like game, watching game ) as a punishment. As a parent it,s our duty to watch our children, They doing right or wrong thing. We must correct them .
@anusha2128 (886)
• India
29 Oct 11
Punishing children is the most bad habit that the parents are doing now a day. It makes the chance of breakage of bond between the mom and child. Try to explain your children about the mistake they did sitting with them and get it resolved. If they repeat the same mistake again try to say them in a different manner but not by punishing them..
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
28 Oct 11
Hi there... I'm totally and entirely against punishing children for milder mitakes, for the little childish things that they do... Unless and until they do anything totally out of the way, there's no necessity to punish 'em. They're so innocent and cute, punishment distorts their sweet minds.
I've been through severest possible punishments and trust the effects haven't vanished from my mind yet. Take care... Love for the kids...
@kris182_2000 (5444)
• Canada
28 Oct 11
I can't remember what I was told when I was doing childcare, but for time outs, it was a certain amount of time per year of age, no more.
The punishment should fit the "crime", but abuse should never be a part of that.
I think that grounding is useless for older children, they could easily get out of the house and run off somewhere.
It would be better to just take away the things they love and possibly cut off their allowance so they can't get what they want with money.
I don't have any kids yet, but this is what I remember from taking child care course in school, and from what I've seen while babysitting.
@mrscallands22 (2852)
• United States
28 Oct 11
Wow... that's a bit absurd. The kids should be punished dependent upon age and what they did. That is not sufficient for a kid to learn from their mistakes. With my daughter (she's about to turn 3), I use negative reinforcement. She's into toys and playing games and all of that. I take all of that away.. no playing.. no none of that until I see fit. I don't do too much of whooping yet until she gets older and out of hand. But I do understand where you're coming from about your mom getting involved. To me, that is wrong. Unless you request her input or ask for her advice, she should stay out of it. That puts you in the bad seat position as they will run to her when they can't come to you. Smh... maybe you should sit and discuss that with her.
@vasumathi (436)
• India
28 Oct 11
I dont encourage giving punishment to children. Their mistakes should be rectified only through love and affection.
@tamirs (1807)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
I think punishment is to harsh to call it.to us we call it disciplinary action.
As a child we did not received any punishment from our parents,they always explains us everything and explain to us the consequences of our actions.They always let us do what we think is good but they are always there to tell us if they think what we are thinking or doing could go wrong..And that is what i am also doing to my daughter now..because kids are too sensitive they should be thought well and everything should be with explanation..
