Are you frank or blunt?

some people can be abusive. the more that one stays silent, the more that they do unimaginable things. telling them firsthand what's wrong can help them improve. this with your fingers crossed, vandana. @ravisivan - putting a firm hand. sometimes it does not work, i have to admit.

There are situations that I could do with your guidance. For example, a person tells me since you are not married, and you dont have children, why dont you adopt my daughter. Now, I definitely hurt by that sentence, but they do not realize that they are hurting. Are there no children in orphanages that I should pick a child who already has two parents? A child who would not love me as much I would want her to. They always offer girl child so that they can try for a male progeny. Out here, male progenies are respected because they get hefty dowries. And girl child undesirable because monies go out as dowries. They are effectively finding their own child a burden but want another person to accept that happily. I have my own responsibilities. I have my own problems. I cant tell them what they are. Just because I am not married, and do not have kids doesnt make me an object for others transferring their children on me. I do want to open an orphanage and old age home. But certainly not pay dowry of only one or two girls in my life. If I can help 25 why should I restrict myself to two?

That is really good --not hurting others. But you need not allow people to misbehave with you. You must put a firm hand therein. have a nice day.

hello, dpk. we can be polite and decent when we are being straightforward (not being blunt). hello, vandana! wonder what that means?

Oh it means you can get away with a lot when it comes to this babyface, isn't it deepu?

I agree.. he is polite to a fault.

in my case, it was slow learning but i was able to learn. and that is i believe is what is important. like you, i say things without the intention of hurting. but in cases where heated arguments cannot be avoided, things could really turn bad.

that is a nice one, inertia. the missing ingredient is being fair.

I thought so. I am glad you like what I said.

well, i believe that as we age, we tend to be more understanding and just let things or people be. is that what we call maturity? anyway, i believe otherwise. saying the truth could add more to relationships.

I agree with you. Frankness helps in building relationships. have a nice day.

One reason for accepting mostly others views --is that I am 61+ and I know it is not necessary for me to worry about any issue because they get solved automatically and are not relevant for my day to day existence.

but not appropriate for everybody.

That is true. It what I usually feel good. I don't like hiding things to people just for them to realize from someone else. I end up feeling very guilty and it bothers me alot.

congratulations! a friend told me that there are ways to say things nicely, even if they are the truth.

at least, there are times that you are honest and sincere in expressing yourself.

hi, thesids. you sound like a very thoughtful person. i guess, with family, care really have to be considered. we cannot afford to hurt them that much. but i love them enough to say the truth, at times, even when it hurts.

i have yet to learn very well. lately, i am able to tame my tongue. because i realized that some others are not ready.

i am frank but not always in situations where i have to fight. being frank has something to do with being honest on what one thinks about an idea, or a situation, or a matter at hand.