People here you communicate with but haven't become "friends" with!

@JenInTN (27536)
United States
March 4, 2012 5:44am CST
I have had a few discussions lately and I was thinking. I know there are few Uh ohs out there when I say I have been thinking but anyway...there are a few people here that I communicate with pretty much on a regular basis in my discussions and theirs. Every time I start one, they are there. I respond to theirs also. The question is why in the world have neither one of us requested each other as a friend?? Do you have people here that you respond to pretty regularly that are not on your friends list? If so, why haven't you requested them? Do you only respond to people on your friend's list or is there a member or two that is not there that you look for? I think I am going to go ahead and request them...my goodness...why wouldn't I?
8 people like this
38 responses
@carmelanirel (20948)
• United States
4 Mar 12
It's good you caught that you were not friends yet, because I have also been in discussions with a member, sometimes for years and it isn't until I decide to PM them about something that I realize we are not even friends when I thought we were... So I request them, I mean that way it would be easier to follow their posts, even though I thought I already was..
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Same here! I can't believe that neither one of us had requested each other yet. You know you have a lot in common when you are running into each other and being active in each others discussions for so long. Thanks for responding!
2 people like this
• United States
4 Mar 12
It does happen and it does show that when one has a strong interest in common with another, they can communicate without realizing they are friends..lol Though we connected right away and became friends much quicker and I am glad we did..
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Me too..I knew that I would be crazy about you right away.
2 people like this
@aerous (13452)
• Philippines
5 Mar 12
I agree with, my friend. Because in my stay here I don't find a real friend even a friend that I can regularly talk with... We can communicate to our friend list here but no one of them to be our real friend. Just add them into the friend lists but never being friend... I really wish that someday I found someone else here that different from the other. A friend that really want to be friend
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Hi aerous! You are actually one of those people that I thought were on my friends list already! We are forever running into each other here! I am sending you a friend request right away. Thanks for the response!
@aerous (13452)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
Thanks for the interest of being my friends here. Because you know it's been a long time that I find a good friend here a friend that really a friend of mind that can be exchanging ideas and others... I hope we can be friend not only by being a member of mylot but a friend that real and exist even if we are in online... It's really sad that even we are here to add friends but in reality they are not called them our friend because after adding them and welcoming them usually they are gone and never reply again... Thank you so much for that words and appreciate it so much
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
11 Mar 12
I am looking forward to our friendship too! It can be frustrating when we add people and then they are never active with us again. I think they sometimes come to myLot with very different ideas of what this site actually is. I have come to love this site very much and the people here too. Talk to you later!
• Philippines
5 Mar 12
I respond to anyone's discussions. You'll notice that some users here are angry with me. It's because I responded to their discussions just to earn some money. But yeah, I don't choose where I'm gonna reply user-wise, just topic-wise. I'm trying to respect others on their discussion because some users really are sensitive when it comes to the discussions they've posted.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I haven't noticed. I think there is nothing wrong with responding for earnings as long as the topic is addressed and taken seriously. I have been drawn by certain topics too. Thanks for the response.
• Philippines
5 Mar 12
What I meant was I responded for merely for earning money, nothing more. I just found out that you can earn more than a dollar a day here. Is this true?
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I am hoping that those three repetitive two sentence responses were accidental. It's not about quantity that earns..it's quality. Longer paragraph type responses have served me better than anything else. Being very active is good too. If I were you and that is your total interest, maybe the tasks would work out for you.
@allknowing (92662)
• India
4 Mar 12
If I like a topic I respond regardless of whether we are 'friends' and just between you and me of the friends I have most of them have requested me to add them. I find no reason to clog my friends page as that list has not influenced me in any way.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
I do too but I do find myself very busy with my friends' discussions here. I like to venture out into the interest category when I get a chance though. Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (92662)
• India
4 Mar 12
I hit the 'recent' tab and respond if I like the topic and there are other tabs too where one can find topics of interest. I not only post topics, respond and comment I also follow activities of some of the users here even though they may not be on my 'friends' list, without being a part of their activity.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
I like the recent tab too. When you follow the activity of people not on your list, do you just type in their user name to bring up their activity?
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1357)
• San Diego, California
5 Mar 12
Hello, JenInTN. There are many people here who I respond to because I like the discussion. A few of them have not been responding as much, but that is understandable. Things in life happen. I have only requested 1 person as a friend because I knew her personally...my ex...and that turned out to be a problem. She has not been active for several months, but that is okay. I remember I responded to a discussion you started, a week ago or so, and you said that you were going to take a look at my discussions. That was to let me know if you were going to accept my friend request. I may not be making any sense, but maybe in my subconscious I fear rejection so I dont send them. I dont know. It is strange, but I work in a field where I get rejections all of the time. I come to myLot, and start discussions, and get it. Maybe after a long day of that, I just want to respond. I will gladly accept any friend request, because I will be a friend to anyone. Have a great day. :) :)
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Oh no...I was just going to check them out because they sounded interesting..it wasn't to judge you. Your responses are that which speak for themselves. I didn't know that your ex used to be on here! Why didn't it work out that you both were here?
@CODYMAC (1357)
• San Diego, California
5 Mar 12
Oops. I am so sorry. I tend to drift in and out of reading posts and checking my email, and a ton of other things. I know now that my posts can get garbled and I am working on keeping from being distracted. Trust me, (boy do I feel like a shmuck) I was not trying to give you a guilt trip. WOW, I really need to pay attention to the discussion. I was meaning to say that I feel odd sending people requests. I have no problem answering them. My ex decided to air my Very private issues out in a post, and I was not too happy. That is why things have not worked out for us here. Boy, I think that after this botched response, I will make sure to pay attention to what I am writing. Again, I am sorry and I can see how you could get that out of what I posted. GOD bless, and have a great day. :) :)
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
6 Mar 12
No worries...I didn't mean it like that either. I just wanted you to know that I was really interested in them. I did check them out and although I have only responded to one so far, I do have some input on some of the others too. Take care and again...no worries!
@choybel (5049)
• Philippines
4 Mar 12
There was actually one who I always find in the same discussions or in her discussions and I realized later that she wasn't in my friend's list, that is when I have decided to add her. My usual method now is I check my responded discussions, friend's started discussions, then I go to my interests, so I do participate in discussions created by members no in my friend's list as well. It's not too difficult to request anyway.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Hi choybel! There were a couple of people that I actually thought were on my friends list too because we are forever running into each other..lol. I am going to request them now that I realize we aren't friends yet. We must have a lot in common to be running into each other so much. Thanks for the response!
2 people like this
@choybel (5049)
• Philippines
5 Mar 12
It's either you guys have so much things in common or there aren't so much discussions here anymore. Hehe! It is my pleasure.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
5 Mar 12
hi dear Jen, thats really funny. As soon as I find some similarities with mylotters I request their friendship. Have made some real great friends here and you are certainly one of the special people in my mylot life. Hugs to you and have a blessed week
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I love being your friend too. I have gained a lot from having you as a friend. Thanks for responding and being a dear friend.
• Lippstadt, Germany
6 Mar 12
reading this sure brightens up this Monday, hugs back to you hope you have a great week.
@jhuddith (222)
• Philippines
4 Mar 12
Since I have only few friends, what I normally do is look at the discussion topics and choose the ones that interest me. Currently, I've started to send friend requests to myLotters whose discussions I can relate. I am hesitant at times though that they might wonder why I am sending them the requests.. :-(... I'll try to fight the feeling..
3 people like this
@jhuddith (222)
• Philippines
4 Mar 12
Yes, i do believe myLot has a lot of interesting and great people. hopefully, i get to befriend most of you... thank you so much!
1 person likes this
@sisco100 (2343)
• United States
5 Mar 12
ya there are p[eople on here that i talk to some times. i really dont have much time to spend on here, but when i do i do talk to some of my friends on here to see if there is any thing new with them. most of the time we talk about new sites that we find or ask about other site. its all a matter of whats going on. i love making new friends theres always some new to learn about some one or some where.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Hi sisco! Nice to see you. I like making new friends too and especially with those that I have stuff in common with. It can certainly make discussions a lot of fun. I hope everything has been well with you. Take care and thanks for the response.
@stringer321 (5688)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
5 Mar 12
I sometimes think about how much the friendship is real : I remember last year I communicated with a celebrity on facebook , asking her how she lost her weight and wether she would like to go to the salsa club. She responded and we exchanged messages... I added her on my friends list but then , I realized we had no more things to talk about and I started to lose interest with her. She was just a regular human being like everyone else and she was a stranger. In mylot , I think the friend list adds to the mylot digest email notifications. If someone has interesting discussions and he find my discussions interesting , we better be friends so we can follow each other's discussion , respond them and make a progress. The friendship is mostly about things we have in common. With that celebrity , we probabely didn't have much in common.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Hi stringer! I can see how it would be easy to lose interest in a celebrity if there wasn't really anything that the two of you have in common. I think that the friendships here are often based on that. I am very active with my friends in anything that I can give them good input on. Thanks for the response.
@shibham (16999)
• India
5 Mar 12
Well jen... I have not met such a friend (without in list) with whom i interact pretty much. If it happens either s/he or me send a request and it gets accepted. I always follow my friends discussions first but not all of them of my list. There some members who respond to my discussion rarely and i also do the same with them. After friends, i check the profile of them who are not from my list but respond to me. Then i try to respond to at least one of their discussion. It is just an honor from me for their effort towards me. Have a nice time.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I do the same thing shibham. If they are not on my friends list and they have responded to me, I always try to respond back to one of their discussions too. I think that is how I got confused about some of the people that I thought were on my friend list but were not. Thanks for responding!
@1hopefulman (45633)
• Canada
5 Mar 12
I have so many friends here that I could never keep up with them all. It's incredible how many requests I have received but so many have never made a comment on any of my posts. I just accept everyone as I'm not prejudiced. I'm only here as I have time and look for very interesting discussions from my point of view.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I know..I have a lot of friends on the list that are not active. I went through some of them last night from a couple of years ago and if they were still under 100 and didn't have any activity, I deleted them. I like a good interesting discussion too. Thanks for the input!
• Canada
4 Mar 12
Just in the short time that I have been on mylot I have found a few posters that I really like their topics and their answers. I like the posts/responses that sound like there is some thought put into them. I would request them actually I have requested the ones I liked I haven't checked to see if they were accepted at this point. Sometimes I wonder if the more senior members like yourself would accept the friend add of a newbie like me.
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Of course we would! There is a little caution sometimes because there are some people that come that send a lot of spam and never participate on myLot at all. Don't give up if you are denied sometimes. They just want to see that you are going to stay around before they do. Once they read some of your activity, I am sure that you will make a ton of friends. Thanks for taking the time to respond!
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8323)
• Philippines
4 Mar 12
I don't limit myself when giving responses, as long as I feel I can contribute my opinion then I would not hesitate in giving a response on discussions. I also make comments on some person regularly and most of the time I am not aware that they aren't my friends yet. Maybe because I was too familiar with the name/avatar that I thought they are already my friends here.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
I am one to answer topics I feel I can give input to but I do find myself very busy keeping up with my friends' activity. I actually did think that I was already friends with the members I was referring to that I correspond here with all the time..lol. Thanks for the input!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (135117)
• United States
4 Mar 12
If it is someone who is around all the time, I usually think I am already their friend. . . I cannot keep track. Eventually one of us requests the other, though. I know what you mean. I usually request fairly new users, because then I know they are not on my list already. I am a "more the merrier" kind of gal.
3 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
I like the "more the merrier" perspective too. I did think that some of the people I was active with were already on my friends list. I am going to request them..we have to have a lot in common to keep running into each other the way we do..lol. Thanks for the response!
1 person likes this
@thesids (22205)
• Bhubaneswar, India
4 Mar 12
Hi JenInTN Many a times we wait for someone to make the right move. We hesitate in taking the first steps and expect the other one to take the first step. I too have a few lotters who are almost on all of my discussions but we arent friends yet. Maybe some point we need to express. I rarely take the first steps. This happened here due to an experience quite early between me and a senior lotter. We had some difference in opinion and the way things went, I felt bad (today I have positively realized it was my fault, and I did say sorry and things went well) but somehow the memory remains. The next reason - there are some seniors whom I will love to have in my friend list - but I still hesitate as most of their discussions are beyond me and I feel I will not be able to give my best or at least better. But when they have some discussions where I can hop in, I do. One to mention - Dawnald - I like her posts, discussions and responses, we are even in friends lists but I hesitate in responding to most of her discussions just because they are mostly too personal or even too much US centric (my personal opinions only). So despite we are friends, chances of our meets are lesser. And yes, I still remember - and am thankful to her for extending her friendship to me.
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Hi thesids! I can definitely understand that. Sometimes we are afraid to extend that first move because of things like cultural differences or differences in opinions. I have friends that start cultural discussions sometimes that I am afraid to respond to too. Sometimes I just don't know enough about the subject to give a decent answer. I do tend to research their topics when I don't understand..even if I don't respond. I love learning new things. Thanks for responding!
2 people like this
@shaggin (56688)
• United States
5 Mar 12
You know that makes me realize you must not be on my friends list or this discussion would have come to my email instead of me stumbling across it while I was browsing through mylot. I almost never send anyone a friend request on here I just never think to do it. I think I have only done it once. If I get friend requests I always approve them IF they have over a 100 by their name so that way I figure they probably arent going to spam me.
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
5 Mar 12
You are certainly one of those people that I thought was on my friend list already! I have ran into you several times and always enjoy it. I am glad that we will get each others notifications now! Thanks for responding!
@shaggin (56688)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I actually thought for some reason that you were on my friends list already as well. I know I've never remove anyone so I'm guessing I was just mistaken thinking we were friends. Since we were not I went and requested your friendship which you approved :) I will get notified now when you write a post and thats cool. Now your the 2nd person I've send a friend request to.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
6 Mar 12
• United States
4 Mar 12
That is one thing I have never been is shy with the friends requests.In the beginning,once I get a good response from my posts, I would go to their profile and see if I could answer any of their posts, If I could I would request them. Now a days I just wait and see.
2 people like this
@thesids (22205)
• Bhubaneswar, India
4 Mar 12
hi behen I had a taste of this when you and me shared those wonderful moments of story telling...
2 people like this
• United States
4 Mar 12
Hi Bhai! I had the best time writing the plot of An Un Married Woman! And now we are family!
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Aww...I love my friends here. I am not shy with friend requesting either but I could have swore that I was already friends with these members I am talking about. We are always corresponding in one way or another here..lol. It is not uncommon for me to go to profile pages for discussions started with the mylot notification thing going on for me and I happened to look over and instead of seeing send a message...I saw request friendship...wow.
3 people like this
@Lakota12 (42607)
• United States
4 Mar 12
lol dont think I have I know a couple juumped to me defence once and we are now friends others are friends of freinds that added me as a friend then there are the ones that ask to be friends and I look at profile and wonder why as none of thier discusions go along with any thing I respond to but if they look interesting I accept if they have 0 on every thing I dont accept as you never know whatt hey are like before they do some kind of post or resonce
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Heyya Lakota! Amazing how protective friends here can be. I am glad that you were defended. I remember a time when people were being flamed here kind of regularly. I am glad that time is over. Thanks for the input!
@Lakota12 (42607)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Me too but seems like most of the ones that was getting trolls have left or dont come around much any more and its a shame
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (124708)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Mar 12
I usually converse back and forth for a while and then realize we could be on each others lists. I guess what it boils down to is that you don't have to be on each others lists to be friends. If there are any that I haven't got on my friend's list it is just that I haven't thought of it yet.
@JenInTN (27536)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Same here. I just haven't thought of it or thought they were already on there. Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (124708)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Mar 12
Yep. That be it.
1 person likes this