A new relationship and my violin. lol
By shibham
@shibham (16977)
India
March 18, 2012 1:03am CST
Hi everyone...
All those my all time favorite mylotters who already responded to my latest two discussions on my marriage, perhaps know that i have found out my fiance and will marry her this year. Yesterday, her uncle and brother came to my home to finalize the relationship (as it is an arranged marriage) but date is not fixed yet.
Well, two nights ago, i asked her what type of music she likes. She answered saxophone, flute and violin. Hmmm... saxophone and flute, very hard to play by me but years ago i played violin as background music of my dramas and in some certain situations. Now i have bought a new violin to play and learn much better to entertain my love.
Now an another issue. Trying to change myself as much as i can coz now i am feeling the responsibilities of a married life. Oh, how a decision of marriage can change a person totally? Right? Very hard to change but hope i will. Basically to play the best violin.
Have you ever tried to change yourself for your love? Please share.
I have uploaded my picture playing the viloin on my profile. You may give a look if wish.
Now an another issue. Trying to change myself as much as i can coz now i am feeling the responsibilities of a married life. Oh, how a decision of marriage can change a person totally? Right? Very hard to change but hope i will. Basically to play the best violin.
Have you ever tried to change yourself for your love? Please share.
I have uploaded my picture playing the viloin on my profile. You may give a look if wish.7 people like this
14 responses
@Mashnn (4501)
•
18 Mar 12
You made me laugh. First, you cannot change yourself but you can only try to change behaviors that you may think needs to be rectified. I think your wife will still love you whether you are good in instruments or not. Just be yourself, love her and everything else will be fine. I love the way you are seated when playing the violin, you seems to be enjoying it.
@shibham (16977)
• India
18 Mar 12
Yes mashnn.. that is i am saying about. I mean i have to rectify myself coz i have some bad habits like smoking and so on. She will love me as whatever i am right now. She has no complain at all and as only a week is only over, so yet to know her choices.lol
Nope, i was playing violin and the picture is added in my profile. You may give a look. Have a nice time.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
18 Mar 12
mamu
Too many things to mention this time - Please bear with me and my long response (even if you dont, you dont have a choice
)
First, congratulations. I DID miss your earlier discussions, BUT I knew you found someone who would be your life partner. I keep a watch on you always dear.
The next one - you learned violin years ago. and that comes to use now. It is great and see destiny here. The fore-coming events cast a shadow years back and you never knew that.
Next - You Ask about changing for love! mamu, I always believe, love NEVER requires anyone to change. If that is true love, you will be accepted as you are but, this doesnt mean you are not to change yourself - you are to change yourself to give happiness to your partner. If you (or anyone does that) it makes the relation stronger, and long lasting (I know, in India, once married is married for life for many - but the happiness and warmth of the relation goes away if you dont do anything to give happiness to your partner)
I wish you both a happy married life my dear.
Too many things to mention this time - Please bear with me and my long response (even if you dont, you dont have a choice)
First, congratulations. I DID miss your earlier discussions, BUT I knew you found someone who would be your life partner. I keep a watch on you always dear.
The next one - you learned violin years ago. and that comes to use now. It is great and see destiny here. The fore-coming events cast a shadow years back and you never knew that.
Next - You Ask about changing for love! mamu, I always believe, love NEVER requires anyone to change. If that is true love, you will be accepted as you are but, this doesnt mean you are not to change yourself - you are to change yourself to give happiness to your partner. If you (or anyone does that) it makes the relation stronger, and long lasting (I know, in India, once married is married for life for many - but the happiness and warmth of the relation goes away if you dont do anything to give happiness to your partner)
I wish you both a happy married life my dear.
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
21 Mar 12
Hi shi...
What a romantic thing to do, you will certainly get your marriage on a good start if you behave like that! I don't think you are really changing for your wife-to-be, you are just trying to build up a mutual interest between you, and I think it is a lovely thing to do. It is good to have a common interest, you will have the same memories to share. In future, you can make music together, you can play the violin while she uses the flute, different instruments make up an orchestra!
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
23 Mar 12
Hi moon...
I am always romantic and you better know that
it was suppressed but now trying to focus. hehehe. I always wish your love and blessings on a successful married life of mine. Mutual interest, it is true but she cant play any instrument but still i love her.
Have a nice time.
it was suppressed but now trying to focus. hehehe. I always wish your love and blessings on a successful married life of mine. Mutual interest, it is true but she cant play any instrument but still i love her.
Have a nice time.@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
26 Mar 12
I would always give you good wishes! Be a good person and treat your wife nice
1 person likes this
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
hi shiby,
I don't change who I am for the one I love but I tried my very best to impress him changing myself doesn't depend on someone because he should love me for what I am and not int he way he wanted me to be.
Well it is good you are trying to please your bride to be you change for a good
happy mylotting
happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
20 Mar 12
Hello Shibham,
Oh ho! So brushing up your music skills for your would be wife. Aahaa ...that's good! Change is the law of nature and certainly there is no problem in changing ourselves if it is for the better.
I also believe that true love doesn't require any change. If the person (boy or girl) ask you to change yourself for his/her happiness then that is not true love, but in your case it is not so. It seems as if you yourself are deciding to bring about some changes in yourself. This is certainly positive and very impressive. I am sure you will win her heart by playing her some romantic melodies on violin.
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
21 Mar 12
Hi inderjeet...
hehehe... by that way i will entertain her and i also pass my boring time when she will go yo her mother's home. To get away the loneliness.
Exactly. Love is unconditional but as myself is an arranged marriage and i did not know anything about her earlier, so trying to know her over phone and building a new relationship most smooth and reliable. She has not asked me to change myself for her but i have said her to lose some weight, just requested but i will accept her whatever she is. Yeah. i am trying to quit some bad habits.
have a nice time,
Yeah. i am trying to quit some bad habits.
have a nice time,@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
23 Mar 12
Oh! So you have already began thinking about the time she will go to her mothers place and what you would be doing in her absence. Nice Shibham!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
19 Mar 12
How sweet of you to renew this interest in hopes of pleasing your soon to be wife. I think we all change to impress our partners, whether we try to or not. My husband makes me want to be kind and optimistic, to match him. I wish you a great married life. It is good to have a life partner.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
19 Mar 12
Hello shibham,
Congrats again, as you have decided it finally. It is interesting to know that you started new hobbies for your love and become responsible too. I have read some your responses too and learned that you are stopping the had habits, which is really appreciable.
All the best to both of you. Since the date is not fixed yet there enough time to ‘fall in love’ and enjoy the time. So….. enjoy…
. It is interesting to know that you started new hobbies for your love and become responsible too. I have read some your responses too and learned that you are stopping the had habits, which is really appreciable.
All the best to both of you. Since the date is not fixed yet there enough time to ‘fall in love’ and enjoy the time. So….. enjoy…
@shibham (16977)
• India
21 Mar 12
Hi sree...
Thanks again. haha. Yes, i am relearning violin and trying to quit some bad habits. It is very hard to quit all at once but i am trying my best. Thanks for your appreciation.
Yes, m falling in her love and already have fallen to extreme. Thanks for the wishes. have a nice time.
1 person likes this
@veejay19 (3589)
• India
18 Mar 12
Well shib, glad to know that you have finally decided to tie the knot and many congrats.Have you already fallen in love with her? You seem to be trying to change yourself to pander to her taste.My advice is for you to be yourself and let her accept you as you are and you accept her as she is. By doing so both of you will gain respect for each other. It is good to learn a musical instrument and it may not necessarily be what she likes. However its your choice. If i were in your place she would have to accept me as i am and on my terms.Best of luck.
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
18 Mar 12
Thanks veejay for your wishes. yes, i have fallen in love with her. Not exactly, i have some bad habits like smoking and some similar like this. I have no routine of taking meals and take them wherever i can. It is the cause of my less weight. So, these issues should be changed as i am going to knot my life with an another one.
You are right. A musical instrument is not necessary to satisfy love. Have a nice time.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
20 Mar 12
That is a very nice violin! Congrats on your new quest to learn it. I think that adding things to your previous talents is a great idea under any circumstance but changing...I'm not sure about that. I bet she will be just crazy about you just the way you are. No need to change. You have a lot of great qualities and I am sure she will like them all. I tried a long long time ago with the changing to suit thing but in the process all I did was lose myself for a while. If it was just the bad things about me it might have been different but it was some good things that I lost too. I missed them very much for a while and it was wonderful to have those back and be cared for because of who I was and not who someone wanted me to be.
Take care and good luck with the violin and the new love.
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
21 Mar 12
Hi jen...
Thanks for the congratulations. She is already crazy about me and she loves me wholeheartedly. If i dont call her for few years then she will must call me back. lol. Actually, as i have mentioned, i wish to change my bad habits and do feel that by that way, i will not lose myself anymore.
thanks for the wishes and have a nice time,
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
21 Mar 12
Hi Shib, indeed you are a very sweet husband. Willing to take your hardship to re-learned and re-gained your violin knowledge. It is good to hear that you willing to impress your life partner that way. Hope she will appreciate and understand you even more better. Hope you will have a very lasting relationship and towards building a very peaceful marriage. Waiting to hear more news regarding your marriage arrangement.
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
23 Mar 12
Hi friend...
I am not a husband till date but trying to be. lol. My all efforts are for her to please and make happy for ever. It depends on her how much she will love me, but i hope she will wholeheartedly. Thanks for your wishes and sure i will inform all of you about my progress in this regard.
Have a nice time.
@mtrguanlao (5522)
• Philippines
20 Mar 12
Hi amigo! It's good to know that you are trying to do some moves to please your fiance.
As to your question,my hubby loves me for who and what I am. I don't remember changing anything in myself for him. I think I became more patient now because of my kids,haha!
It's good to know that you are trying to do some moves to please your fiance.
As to your question,my hubby loves me for who and what I am. I don't remember changing anything in myself for him. I think I became more patient now because of my kids,haha!1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
21 Mar 12
Hi amiga... Yes, i am trying to please her, it is or sure but along with it i am returning to my old habit of playing violin. I have some bad habits and it is essential to quit these habits to make her happy. I just feel so. Your crystal is lovely, so need to be more patient too.
have a nice time.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
20 Mar 12
Hi shibham,
Great. Have you also checked if she would like you to play all these musical instruments or she love to them played by some other famous artists?? LOL. Like the way i like classical music but would never want my husband to try it at all... as he is poor with it but a fantastic singer when it comes to old hindi songs (especially Kishor/Rafi etc). Sorry i added my personal experience here. Good that you are trying to impress her...with your violin talents...
Why are you trying hard to change yourself? Responsibilities are there to be carried out but it doesn't mean you should change or she should change. Well, if you are trying to change some of your negative points, it is for good future. I don't think we should change ourself for love becuase love has come when you are all by yourself. Try to love each other as we are all blessed with individual personalities and diferences.
Take care and congrats once again...
with your violin talents...
Why are you trying hard to change yourself? Responsibilities are there to be carried out but it doesn't mean you should change or she should change. Well, if you are trying to change some of your negative points, it is for good future. I don't think we should change ourself for love becuase love has come when you are all by yourself. Try to love each other as we are all blessed with individual personalities and diferences.
Take care and congrats once again...@shibham (16977)
• India
21 Mar 12
Hi viju... Nice sense of humor. Obviously she will like mine, in a sleepless night, my violin will work as a lullaby for her, right? So jaa mere laadli (get sleep my love). I also like classical and interested mainly shehnaai (Bismillah Khan) and flute (Hariprasad Sourachia). I think i am older than your hubby regarding the choice of old Hindi melodies. My favorite singer is Mukesh, Manna Dey, Talaat Mahmood, Geeta Dutta, Shamsad Begum and those evergreen singers.
Nope, i wish to quit some bad habits like smoking.... and so on. I am a messy person too, so it should be changed, right? Thanks for the wishes viju.
have a nice time.
